by Coralee June
Maverick tapped his fingers anxiously on his desk. I sensed that he itched to dive right back into work, but I wouldn’t let him go that easily. His red-brown hair had started to sloppily fall out of his bun.
“But…” I began cautiously. “I’ve always wanted to teach. Some of my happiest memories were sitting under Mom’s desk. Maybe…if...if you ever need help or something. Maybe you could let me know?” I hated how timid I sounded and cursed how much I craved my brother’s approval. I thought I was past caring what he thought. Maverick looked at me with sad eyes. I knew bringing up Mom was a low-blow, but I was desperate for him to understand that I was somewhat sincere.
“Kemper mentioned that you started tutoring the Scavengers. We can discuss options later. Until then, we need someone to bring the Walker children up to the school house for a project in a couple weeks. Is that something you’d like to do?” Maverick offered, surprising me. I tried to bite down the happiness I felt.
“Th—that would be fine, I guess,” I replied, attempting to sound casual. Maverick rolled his eyes before returning to his work on the computer. In seconds, he was already back to ignoring the world.
“See you later, Mav,” I whispered sadly and, like usual, he didn’t respond.
Chapter Seven
“I never thought I’d ever say this, but you’re doing a decent job, Jules. You’ve almost caught up with everyone else, and your section looks good,” Kemper said from behind me.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and slowly straightened, my tight muscles straining from spending the day bent over. I scraped my scythe across the ground as I turned to look at him.
“Now we just need to get you to stop wearing those ridiculous dresses to the gardens. Aren’t you miserable?” he asked. He scrunched his nose at my outfit before turning to inspect the wheat grains carefully.
I looked down at my sequined dress and my mother’s ruby necklace. I hadn’t taken it off since Pioneer Day. I wore it like a medal of honor, even though it put me on the receiving end of a lot of angry stares. My outburst that day didn't gain me any friends. Not that I needed any. Born alone, die alone and all that.
“A wise woman once told me to dress for the job I wanted,” I countered with a grin. Mom overdressed for every event. Anytime someone commented on it, she would say that a woman could never be overdressed or overeducated.
Over the past few weeks, I had settled into a monotonous routine. Despite Kemper's enthusiastic compliments, I wasn't the little worker bee they wanted. I learned to finish my work efficiently, but I was still a good two days behind everyone else. Keeping my productivity low also ensured that Kemper's expectations would be low too.
Becca dusted off her hands, then began walking towards us. Kemper tensed up under her perusal, and I had to bite my lip to hold back the laugh that threatened to spill over. The embarrassment and discomfort written across his face was too much. A laugh escaped, which earned me a stern glare.
“I can’t stay long, uh— I have stuff to do,” Kemper said distractedly while walking backwards away from Becca. Her strides became larger as she approached.
His neck turned red as he increased his pace. “Ju—just wanted..to..let you know that Tallis can’t walk you to camp today. You know how to get there without him?” He yelled the last bit of his question, as he was now a good twenty feet away.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Yes,” I choked out through chuckles. Becca was out of breath when she finally made it to me. I heard her whisper “Damn,” while watching Kemper flee.
“Where was he off to?” she asked while braiding her blond hair. Her top button came undone, leaving her shirt almost fully open.
“I think he had to brush his hair,” I replied dryly, putting my tools away and grabbing my pack. It was heavy and bursting with books, paper, and pens for the Scavengers. Cyler brought them by yesterday. I half-heartedly hoped for a compliment, or recognition of my work in the Scavenger camp, but received none.
After putting away my Garden supplies, I walked alone towards the Scavenger camp. I'd never admit it to the annoying man, but I couldn’t help but miss him. He was polite and knowledgeable—for a Scavenger. Our routine was somewhat growing on me. Although his flirtatious grin and all-knowing behavior was beyond annoying, he was a decent companion.
And it wasn't just our walks I enjoyed. Something changed the day we visited Maverick's clinic. He kept finding reasons to touch me, to lean in close. Every night as we said goodbye, he’d lean in to kiss my cheek—and I let him. It was harmless. The Scavenger couldn't help himself. In the privacy of the woods, I enjoyed it. However, I prayed he didn't continue this level of friendliness in public. I had a reputation to keep, after all.
A snapping twig behind me made me whirl around with a bright smile. He was here! I adjusted my dress and patted my hair while scanning the woods. Tallis simply couldn’t resist...
A burly Walker bounded through the brush. He had white hair matted in clumps, revealing his bare head. I’d seen infected Walkers before, but this one had anger burning beneath the emptiness. His brow furrowed in fevered confusion, and I took a step backward. My movement spurred him forward, and within three strides, he was upon me. I opened my mouth and let out a shrill scream, but my yells for help had no effect. I was alone.
The angry Walker grabbed my wrists in delirious confusion, and I froze in fear. His feverish skin scalded mine. It seemed that no amount of nervousness or sweat could cool me. I felt his heat scalding me through my skin. Cutting through the bone. Turning me to ashes.
I opened my mouth to scream again but he clamped down harder. I looked down and blood from his sores oozed down my arms. It smeared along my pale skin, its crimson disease staining me.
Tears streamed down my face as I tried to yank from his feverish hold. I couldn't move away as he pulled me closer, wiping more blood, pus, and grime on my dress. On my skin. On my soul.
“God please, somebody help me!” I cried out as he began to shake me. Just as I was about to collapse from the trauma, I caught sight of movement, and a toned arm flashed in front of me. In one swift movement, I was yanked out of the aggressive Walker’s hold and into strong arms that clutched me tightly.
A woman with white hair smiled manically while slicing his neck with her knife. He was too feverish, too slow. He couldn't escape her swift kill. I watched what was left of his life leave him, and he collapsed on the forest floor. He didn’t twitch, he didn’t slip into a peaceful expression. Life escaped him, and yet his body still looked dangerous. Angry.
“I like this vaccine business, brother. I can finally get in close for the kill!” The woman exclaimed with a clap as tremors overtook me.
“W-wh-what was that? Why was he like that?” I stuttered as Tallis turned me around so that we were facing one another. Blood smeared along his torso as he crushed me to him, looking down at me with concerned eyes.
It was the woman who answered me. “Some infected Walkers hallucinate. It makes them aggressive in their last phase. He probably didn’t even see you.”
Tallis continued to sweep his crystal blue eyes over me. He took a deep breath, and held me tightly.
I began to shake harder, the adrenaline of what happened taking over my body. Nausea gripped me as I shook, all while icy, cool sweat dripped from my burning pores. My legs felt weak.
“Jules, can you hear me?” Tallis asked. But it sounded like a faint echo. Like I was standing outside my body and watching him try to console me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. “Jules, I have another riddle for you, listen carefully.” I took in a staggered breath as he repeated himself. I rested my heavy head against his chest, the vibrations of his words grounding me.
“What always runs, never walks. Always murmurs, never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. Has a mouth, but never eats?” he asked, holding me.
I tried to repeat the riddle, my usual method of solving, but my words still felt caught in my throat. After a brief moment, Tallis rea
lized what I needed and kept repeating it on loop. We stood like that for a moment, him repeating the riddle and me nuzzling into his chest. I felt frozen in the safety of his arms.
Once I solved the problem, I still stayed close to him and focused on my breathing. I stole the comfort his closeness offered until I could stand again.
“A river,” I finally replied. Slowly, I looked up and our noses were just inches apart. I could see the deep-set furrow in his brow. Feel his attentiveness.
“Good Job, Agapimenos.”
A pale face appeared in my peripheral, and I flinched, breaking our embrace.
“Is it not customary in civilized society to tell the person that saved your life ‘thank you’?” she asked with a smirk while crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes flashed to Tallis who shook his head in exasperation.
“You could give her a moment, Sister,” he said in exasperation letting me go and massaging his temples.
Once I settled, I recognized her face and frowned in realization. She was the Scavenger from town.
A few days after being kicked out of my home, I ran into her while making my way to the Gardens for my first day of work. She asked the group of Walkers if anyone knew of Ashleigh, and I lashed out. Now I felt embarrassed for being so unreasonable, especially since she just saved my life.
“I’m Mia,” she said with a smile. She held out a hand to place on my chest in greeting, but I moved out of her reach when I saw that it was still dripping with blood from her kill.
“Ah, let's skip formalities this time.” She began, wiping her hands on her pants. “Besides, we’ve already met, haven’t we?” she asked in a knowing, snarky, tone.
I didn’t respond because I didn’t see the point. It was bad enough that I owed a life debt to a murderous Scavenger.
She slipped her knife in the waistband of her pants and sauntered through the woods.
As we entered the camp, I was greeted by Nikketa who held out a bowl of stew to me the moment I was within reaching distance. “You’re nothing but skin and bones, little Daskalos,” she chided. This had become somewhat a routine of ours. She insulted me, then stuffed me with her good food.
Her eyes widened once she saw that I was covered in blood. "What happened to you?!" She started shuffling me into a seat. She wouldn’t stop fussing over me until I cleaned up and assured her that I was fine.
Tallis and Mia excused themselves to let the council members know that an Infected Walker was spotted near camp. I found myself feeling anxious at the idea of being separated from Tallis. However, I shook away those feelings and chalked it up as lingering fear. Tallis had left a folded pile of clothes for me to change into, but I wasn’t comfortable with the level of intimacy that would imply. Once I finished my bowl, I patted my dress and shook my head.
“Nikketa." I groaned. "Your food is making my clothes fit tighter,” I pouted in a playful tone. I needed to make light of what happened earlier.
Nikketa looked me over with a disapproving frown. “Good. You look ridiculous, someone should have burned those dresses ages ago.”
I looked down at my dirt and blood-stained outfit that once was the talk of all the fashion shows in Galla. I sighed and doubted anyone would be impressed by it now. Her comments forced me to eye the pile of clothes Tallis left. It didn’t really mean anything, did it? They were just clothes.
I changed into them in Nikketa’s tent while Gordon set up for class. The forest green shirt smelled of smoke and fell off my shoulders. It was so long that the ends of it kissed my kneecaps and almost looked like a dress. A short, tattered dress, but a dress nevertheless. I refused to wear the trousers, though. There were some things a proper woman simply couldn’t do, and wearing pants was one of them.
Once I was sufficiently changed, I looked around the hazy camp as students got ready for class. In the past few weeks, some of the men built makeshift tables that were easy to set up at the beginning of each of our sessions. Since classes lasted until after sunset, I brought a few lanterns. It wasn’t the best of conditions. I knew my old tutor, Mistress Ingrid, would faint at the ridiculousness of it all, but I was still proud.
As my eyes swept over everyone, I saw Tallis by his tent talking to Mia. Once our eyes connected, he grinned. His piercing gaze took in my appearance, and I noticed how he adjusted the band of his pants before walking towards me.
“Your clothes swallow me,” I complained just as Tallis walked up. He coughed away a blush and brushed his hands over his abs before speaking. I swallowed thickly as my eyes followed the movement.
“I missed our walk today, Agapimenos. I’m glad Mia wanted to do a border check. If we were a minute later...” he drifted off and grabbed my satchel to start unloading the books I brought.
“I’ve never seen an infected Walker like that,” I said softly. The Walker’s angry dead eyes flashed through my mind. I shook the image from my memory, but I could still feel his burning hold on my wrist.
My eyes fluttered to Mia again who stood across the camp. She wore a snarky smile as she leaned against the trunk of a tree. I wondered if she saved me because she was a good person or because she liked to kill. Surely a scorned Scavenger wouldn’t save someone like me, especially after I insulted her. What was her motive?
Gordon limped towards us, jarring me out of my morbid thoughts. He winced and leaned against his crutches, but he moved with more skill than before. The prosthetic was helping. The ground was a bit muddy, so he sank with each step. They made the most of their situation, but I couldn't help but think that the high-tech schoolhouse would be ideal.
Class started, and I spent the next three hours teaching a variety of subjects. I reveled in the distraction. It kept my mind from drifting to the aggressive Walker. Tallis helped with some of the younger kids, he read them books while Gordon tutored the others. I watched Tallis use animated gestures and facial expressions as he read. His enthusiastic face was handsome and carefree. Once class was over, I made quick work of cleaning up, and then I began my walk back to the Walker Dorms—without Tallis.
I wasn’t in the mood for Tallis’ wise words or his lack of respect for personal space. But also? I wanted—no—needed to prove to myself that I could walk alone. That I could save myself if need be. I spent the majority of my life in solitude, and I needed to know that I could rely on myself.
I took the long path to the dorms. Although I craved control, I wasn’t emotionally ready to walk by the dead body again. I wasn't ready to see the grim reminder of what happened.
“Jules!” I heard Tallis yell. “Wait up!”
I kept walking, despite his yells.
Eventually, he caught up with me, and I felt his warm hand on my shoulder, pulling me to a stop. “Why didn’t you wait for me? You shouldn’t be walking late at night by yourself,” he scolded.
“I can handle myself,” I growled in response while yanking my shoulder out of his grip. “It’s not that far of a walk. Besides, I figured you’d be busy again,” I said. I immediately hated how pathetically needy I sounded. No one was ever there when I needed them.
Tallis’ eyes brightened in the glow of the lantern he was carrying, and I wanted to kick myself for being so obvious. “Beautiful girl, of course you can handle yourself, but you don’t have to be alone. I wasn’t there for you today, but I won't let that happen again,” Tallis promised, stepping closer to wrap his arms around my waist. I froze and spun in his arms to face him.
“My brothers always kept me out of the loop. At the first sign of danger, they locked me up in the manor. And now? I see a big bad Walker and I freeze,” I said pointedly. I felt manic. Self-destructive. “I wanted them to include me, but maybe I’m useless. Maybe they had good reason for leaving me out.” I needed to lighten the mood—and soon. Tallis was too close. I could smell the smoke on his skin. See the light in his soul.
“I think, if prepared, you could definitely rise to the challenge, Agapimenos. You’re a fighter.”
I looked deep into his ey
es, and for a brief moment, I forgot that he was a Scavenger and that I didn’t deserve his attention. I forgot that I was the lonely, forgotten, Dormas orphan. He leaned in closer. His lips grazed against the corner of my mouth. It was a ghost of a touch, a light whisper that felt like cool, refreshing mist on my skin.
“My clothes look good on you,” he whispered, shocking me out of my stupor.
“Everything looks good on me, Scavenger,” I replied while licking my lips and took a step backward. “Tell me about the second trials.”
Tallis smiled while rubbing his bare abs which flexed under my stare. I wished he would wear more clothes. Maybe I could bring him some of Hux or Patrick’s old suits. They were similar in size.
“What do you want to know?” he asked while falling into step beside me.
“What was it?”
Tallis took a moment to think about his answer before responding. “I had to spend a month in the deadlands, alone. If I survived, I could continue on, if I died, well… then I was done.”
I pondered over his answer for a moment before responding.
“That doesn’t seem so hard.” I peered at him out of the corner of my eyes.
“Wild animals, toxic water, starvation, neighboring camps, and Walkers. Yep—nothing too major,” Tallis joked while continuing to walk.
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess...”
“The danger wasn’t the hardest part for me. It was the loneliness. Never before in my life did I ever feel so secluded. I looked forward to run-ins with Walkers because it reminded me that I still existed,” Tallis explained while patting his chest. It was as if he could still feel the phantom emptiness of his month alone in the deadlands.
“I hate to admit it, but I can understand that. Chaos is better than rejection—than loneliness,” I whispered. I adjusted the strap of my bag up higher on my shoulder and slowed my steps. The Walker Dorms were coming into view, and I wanted to prolong my time with Tallis before going back. Ever since I made the other women return my mother’s dresses, I had been shunned in all the communal areas. Even Becca pretended I didn’t exist anymore. The Scavengers were the only people that really spoke to me these days.
