No words existed that could describe how I felt at this moment.
Briana was embracing a part of her that she had fought since the day she arrived at my village. Could this be the end of the internal struggle my Goddess had been enduring?
She looked utterly flawless. Her hands were glowing, her eyes closed and the subtlest of smiles on her lips. Somehow she had understood my Druid family needed her. She had not consciously known what to do. Nevertheless, her essence had been certain. The High Priestess inside her knew precisely what should be done, and so it had been. She had not faltered. She had trusted her instinct, and the energy inside her was so intense I could almost see it flowing through her. My spiritual eyes had been witness. She was a Goddess. I could never harbor doubt.
There were so many emotions running through me at the sight of her. I was proud of her, as I never thought anyone was capable of being. I wanted to hold her hands and guide them for blessings. To teach her everything that I had ever learned and give her everything she might need. I wished to offer her all the happiness she could ever wish for. I wanted to hold her in my arms and lift her well above the skies, where she belonged. I desired to kiss her so deeply that my lips were forever a part of her, and make love to her until there was no notion of two. Until only one remained.
There was nothing I desired more than to perform the Sacred Rite of Handfasting with her and be bonded forever. Our Druid customs and beliefs, my place as leader of the Order required this of me. My heart demanded it. Mo meantóir would have wished that. I had already vowed to spend every second of eternity with her. I needed our Mother Goddess to bless our love. Make Briana my wife.
My eyes roamed Briana’s face as Seima knelt before her for “Sìth”—Peace. The villagers were long gone, and the Warriors were taking their turn to receive the blessings. I knew without a shadow of a doubt what they were experiencing in this moment. I had felt it before with her. The first time she consciously touched me, when she finally accepted my hand. The exchange of energy had been awakening and electrifying, but the peace that followed had flooded my body in an overwhelming way. It was strong yet soothing. Similar to what the Àrd-shagart’s essence had felt like for me so long ago, but much, much greater. I had never felt anything like it in my existence. It was pure and forever binding, eliciting an overpowering need for loyalty and devotion inside my soul that I was certain, would never be satisfied. She thought it was born from the mixing of our essences when we were together. I knew the truth. It was born from her. It was her essence. Her power. Her destiny. It had little to do with me but entirely connected with who she truly was meant to become.
A High Priestess.
I swiftly realized that right before my eyes the prophecy had begun.
“A High Priest and a High Priestess would be born, sharing the same essence.
The same soul.”
One to be firm. One to forgive,
One to love. One to protect.
One for justice, and one for peace.
I welcomed the emotions that overtook me as Art, my brother, kneeled before Briana placing his hand over his heart and bowed his head to her. Her hands glowed, and her eyes glistened as the peace emanated from her and into him. They had formed a close relationship since she had arrived. He had been there for her when I could not, when my duties called me, and I was forced to leave her side. He had announced it was his responsibility to pamper her and make her laugh when she needed it. He was a good brother, but most of all he already cared for her. I was certain, however, that following this experience their relationship would become much more.
I instantly noticed the change in him, once his essence received the call to action originating from her soul. The same all others had instinctively and faithfully accepted today. And so the silent vow had been made. Promising to follow Briana, to honor her unquestionably, and defend her as their High Priestess. Just as the Queen Bee to her hive. The same vow I had made when she first touched me. It was our mission to support her and aid her in her path. It was our destiny.
Art rose, and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek then embraced her in his arms. She welcomed the hug, holding him tightly and resting her cheek on his chest. Her eyes found me as a sincere smile curved my lips. The Warriors surrounded us, and every single one of their faces reflected the same look as Art's. One of awe, and devotion.
“Can we eat now? I’m starving,” Art said, clearing his throat and stepping away from Briana.
I nodded chuckling, while she walked towards me. I wanted to sweep her into my arms and take her back to our hut. A small group of villagers, standing just outside our reach called my attention, and my gaze roamed their faces. Had they been blessed? I frowned when I realized Alena was among them and her expression was troubled. None of their faces seemed at peace. Although I had been sure everyone had been part of what had become Briana's blessing, the more I strained to remember, I could not place their faces in front of us. Although I could recall Dana, Alena's oldest daughter, kneeling before Briana with her baby, the others hadn't been part of it. What reason would compel them to miss it? The unease exuding from them reached my essence. I motioned for them to come closer yet they remained at a distance.
"Brother, could you accompany Briana and Lia to your hut and begin serving breakfast? I shall be with you shortly." I noticed Art was standing next to me, and by the expression on his face, he had also seen their hesitation.
“I will go with them,” Seima said with a smile. “I want to try what Art has made this morning.”
"We will probably have to heat up the food too," Lia added. "We've been here a while."
“Is everything ok?” My Goddess asked, her gaze focusing on Alena and the others. I nodded and kissed her briefly on the lips.
“I must speak to them, my Goddess. I shall be there as soon as I am able.”
Lia pulled her hand, and they began walking.
“She is not our Àrd-shagart."
Kelveen’s words stopped my approach. Art stood by my side just as stunned as I was. Alena’s face came into view once she stepped forward. Her features seemed filled with regret, yet there was agreement to the man’s words in her eyes.
“What Kelveen meant to say, was that we are not entirely sure we can accept her as our Àrd-shagart.” She stated in a soft voice. "We do not know her. In the time she has been among us, she has not expressed interest in welcoming our customs, or getting acquainted with us.”
"We do not know much about her," Nyle added, supporting Alena's confession. "This is not the way of the Order. You are our Àrd-shagart, and we shall not accept anyone else in your place. We are not even certain she is whom she claims to be. There has never been a woman born from a…”
"You dare question, my Brother? You dare call him a liar, after everything he has done for all of you?" Art's statement stopped Nyle. The man's eyes widened, and he took a step back.
I placed my hand on Art's arm "Calm, brother." My hand glowed, and I felt him instantly relax.
"No, of course not," Serena answered in Nyle's place.
“We are only trying to convey that this seems difficult for us to accept as the truth. We had never heard of her before, or the prophecy. We had not laid eyes on the Mòr Sagart for two millennia. We thought we had lost him and during all that time you guided us and were there for us. Only you. You are our Àrd-shagart. We know you. We trust you, but how can we be certain she is Mòr Sagart’s Ogha. How can we allow her to replace you in our hearts, in our eyes when she does not even seem to want to be here?”
I took a deep breath, slowly processing their words. “The Mòr Sagart,” I repeated in my mind. It was a term given to the fallen leader of the Order of the Druids once a new High Priest had been appointed. Mo meantóir was now The Mòr Sagart. I was their Àrd-shagart, and unknowingly I had failed them. They couldn't understand how Briana could be Nels Ogha, his granddaughter, and they had every right to feel this way. In the history of the Order, this had never occurred. The prophecy
had been kept hidden from them because even Mo meantóir was unsure of what would come to pass. With everything that transpired when Briana was captured we had no time to prepare them. The truth had been revealed abruptly, leaving behind confusion and melancholy. Their hearts had felt the sorrow of Nels’ loss once again.
“You say you know my brother, that you trust him yet all you show is disrespect.” Art answered before I could. “He wouldn’t bring a stranger among us and tell you it’s the granddaughter of The Mòr Sagart. Cynwrig has blessed you and given you a place to raise your families in peace. He has risked his life for you and has taught your children about the Order, about who we are. He has kept alive our traditions. It's true, this has never happened before. Does it then mean that it hasn't been destined to happen? Do you pretend to know more than our Mother Goddess about what our destiny should be?" He took a settling breath and shook his head. "My brother isn't asking you to believe blindly, but didn't you see with your own eyes what Briana did here today? How can you deny it?" He paused as though he was at a loss for words. "It was the most powerful and humbling feeling I have ever felt. One that your own family and friends experienced. How can you close your hearts to the truth when it has burst open before your own eyes?”
Art’s voice trailed off when Alena’s gaze and the others shifted and settled behind us. Instantly my heart tore. Briana was standing there. She had heard it all. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I never wanted to disturb you. I..." Her voice trembled and before I could reach for her, she turned around and rushed towards our hut. Seima and Lia made an attempt to go after her, but I shook my head. I should be there for her.
My eyes returned to Alena, and the others. They all seemed remorseful of their previous words.
"Briana has not come here to take my place, but to steady me, to strengthen us. Her purpose is not to take away but to bring to our destiny to fruition. You have been misinformed, and for that I am sorry. I beg of you to not close your hearts to her. Offer her an opportunity to show you who she is. Once you allow yourselves to feel what the rest of us felt today, you will harbor no doubts about where she belongs."
When I turned intending to pursue Briana, Eisha's icy blue eyes settled on me. She had just arrived, yet I could sense her essence. She had been witness of what had just transpired. Her gaze was sharp and burst with thunderous emotion. I wanted to approach her. She had been distant. I reached for Eisha's hand, but she stepped away. Her eyes shifted to the others, and her jaw tightened. My chest constricted. I wanted to make sure she was all right. Unfortunately, that would have to wait. My Goddess needed me. Taking a deep breath, I turned on my heel and proceeded to find Briana.
EISHA
* * *
My eyes roamed the faces of the people before me. Art remained silent by my side, yet I knew what he expected from me. However, I could not make myself admit that yet.
The storm inside me was plenty to handle at the moment.
A mixture of pain and anger filled me as I wondered how these people whom we had severed for centuries, risked our lives to protect repeatedly, could be this insensitive. Blind to the truth before them. If witnessing what Bri had done for the others had not appeased their fears, nothing ever would. Some people were simply frightened by change. They did not understand. How could they not?
“If Cynwrig’s word, your Àrd-shagart’s word, whom you swear to love and follow blindly is not enough for you to believe, then go and ask Briana who she is," I spoke, gesturing towards Cyn's hut. My voice resounded in the silence that suddenly surrounded us. It was defiant and unyielding, although I could feel the pain seeping through my lips. I took a step forward. "Ask her who raised her after her family had been attacked and killed, as was ours. Asked her how it felt to grow up without knowing her parents. How it felt to be captured and tortured for a legacy of magic and knowledge, she was not aware she possessed or was part of. Ask her about the man that took the place of her mother and father and protected her so well, that he began guarding her centuries before she was conceived. The one that never dared utter a word of the prophecy to anyone, so that he could ensure she survived. Why do you not ask Briana how it felt to hold her grandfather in her arms as he died, trading his life for hers, so the prophecy could come to pass? So she could become the High Priestess destined to complete our Order and guide us into true peace. If you are able to hold her gaze long enough to hear the answers, then tell her how you do not believe in her."
Without another look, I walked away.
Art’s words reached me as each step took me farther from them.
“You say she isn’t your Àrd-shagart because you don't know who she is. That she has failed to take the time to know who you are. Have you attempted to understand her? Briana has been distant because she's been trying to make sense of everything that happened to her. Of everything she has been forced to go through since she found out she was one of us. She's been mourning the death of the person she loved the most. Trying to cope with being in a new place, being ripped away from her home, and attempting to accept it and build a new life. We've all been through that. I would have thought you of all people would recognize that."
I silently agreed, continuing my way. Each step more determined than the last. I needed to put as much space as possible between Art and me.
“A chara.”
Art’s deep voice echoed in the air as he called after me, yet my steps did not slow. I was not prepared to do this, not with him. Not with anyone. My legs moved faster as I passed Cyn’s hut and the entrance to our village. I must put some distance between us. I had managed to remain out of anyone’s way since that day. The battle of the Huachuca Lake. I only desired to be alone. I crossed the village’s wards and headed for the trees.
“Eisha. Please…”
The weight behind Art’s request stopped me. I turned around, wishing I could walk away from him. The words he was determined to share were ones I could not bear to hear. Not now.
"Are you ok, a chara? I haven't seen you in weeks. I've looked for you, but you never answer your door."
I could not bring myself to look into his eyes. I could hear both the concern and reproach in his voice.
"I have been preoccupied with other things, Art. I am all right. You need not worry. I only require some space. Please believe me. Everything is well." I answered, turning towards the direction of the river. My eyes searched for something lost among the trees.
“Are you sure everything is ok?”
His words sounded closer this time. His hand brushed my skin. I shivered.
“Yes, I am certain.”
“Then why are you pulling away from me?”
My eyes closed at the pain in his voice. Did he not understand that I was not ready for this? When my eyes opened once more, he was standing before me.
“I just want to make sure that you are ok, a chara. I'm here for you like I've always been. I'm your friend. I know you better than anyone. I take care of you, remember? I know you are hurting and that you need me. You don’t have to distance yourself from me.” My chest tightened when my eyes finally found his. “Let me be there for you. That’s all I want.”
I had never been an emotional woman. I had endured everything fate had thrown onto my life path and continued on. I had been raised to be tough and steadfast. A Warrior, like him, but his words were going through me like spears through air seeking their mark. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his neck. He instantly held me tight against him. His embrace brought relief to my aching heart. He was right. I needed him, yet he was the last person I should be seeking comfort from. I was convinced of that. I knew I should walk away. Close myself to him, turn around and leave him behind. I could not muster the strength to accomplish that. Instead, I tightened my hold and felt him respond to my hug. His body welcomed me, holding me even closer than before. I rested my forehead on the curve of his neck, and we stood there, silent, while I took from him what wasn'
t mine to take.
I was not entirely sure how much time had passed while I stayed in his arms. His shoulders rose and fell with his deep breaths. His right hand rested on my lower back, and his fingers lazily caressed my skin. It was then I realized they had slipped under the edge of my top.
I could not do this. Not to Art.
I lifted my head from his neck and attempted to take a step back. His eyes met mine, and although he did not utter a word, I knew what he was not saying. His left hand cupped my cheek. His thumb caressed the curve of my cheekbone, and his gaze briefly swept over my lips.
“Do not do this, Art. Please…” I whispered, not entirely sure I meant it. He searched my eyes, and I was sure he could see the battle behind them.
“Do what?”
“Do not kiss me.” My lips trembled with each word. I could not understand the emotion that was taking hold of me.
“Why?”
“Because it cannot be. I know the words you are anxious to share. The ones that burn your throat at this moment. I have known for years. You love me just as Phelan did, yet I cannot give you what you want from me, Art. I cannot love you. Not in the way you desire.” I closed my eyes, trying to escape the pain churning in his. “I am broken, a chara. I have lost too much. I am not confident that I will ever be able to love again. The curse I carry is too great a burden to put on someone else. I will not have anyone go through what I experienced with my mother. I am best alone. Please, do not ask me to do this. For all that is good and sacred. Do not kiss me.”
His other hand lifted, and he held my face tenderly, yet there was a powerful need growing in him that I was not sure he could contain.
“I am not asking you to love me, Mo Sgòthan. I am not asking anything from you.” His eyes searched mine once more, but this time they only found confusion. The slightest of smiles touched his lips. “I only need you to let me love you. I have loved you all these years, and I have been content with just getting to hold you, to be by your side every day and share moments with you. There is nothing about you that could ever be a burden to me. You are perfect. I just want to be close to you.”
Renewed Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 2) Page 3
