by Rachel Jonas
I panted, feeling my insides move out of place, organs getting out of the way as my ribs expanded outward. I was brought to my knees and I barely even noticed the cold through the pain. My neck snapped and cracked as it lengthened and doubled in width. Dark fur cloaked my arms and my nose became snout-like. I could hardly hold a thought in my head. There was so much to take in—and not just the constant burning and aching. My senses, they were heightened in such a way that it overwhelmed me. The white of the snow blinded me now as my vision superseded anything I imagined possible. And the smells—everything had a scent all its own. Everything. It was like sensory overload.
Liam came in stronger now, but still said nothing. I focused on him, pushing everything else aside as my body turned into something else altogether. I thought of flying with him, being held tight to his chest while the world disappeared beneath us. For a second, I let it all go, everything but that moment we were weightless.
It became clear he’d come to me for this reason, to distract me. To calm me.
I’d given up trying to stand. I lie there in the snow, staring at the contrast of my black fur against the brilliant white covering the ground. I was exhausted and couldn’t quite get my bearings straight, couldn’t quite grasp the idea of being so much larger than just a moment ago. It was disorienting.
Slowly, Beth approached, her blondish fur quivering when a brisk breeze moved between us. She sniffed the air, the nostrils of her dark snout flaring. I lie there on my side feeling like I’d just gotten run over by a steamroller. Her paw nudged mine and she stared in such a way I guessed she was wondering if I planned to get up. If I’d been able to speak, I would’ve told her I wasn’t sure I could.
Liam was gone now, which meant my dragon had settled. As the seconds ticked past, the sharp jolts plaguing my extremities faded until they were gone. That’s when I lifted my head, blinking as I waited for my eyes to focus. Fuzzy light in the distance became sharp lines and I could see details so far away.
A rabbit. He was at least half a mile from us, but I could see his whiskers twitching from here.
Beth nudged me again and I sensed she was impatient with excitement. I pressed a paw into the snow and put weight on it, and then the other three. I was up on all fours and felt sturdier than expected. Beth gestured her head to the right and I guessed she wanted to go that way. I took a step toward her and she began to head east. How I knew it was east, I couldn’t explain. It was like some sort of internal compass. I didn’t have that as a dragon. The only thing similar to this sensation was what kept me aligned with Liam. It didn’t matter where I was, I felt the magnetism pulling me in his direction.
He was my soul’s due north.
Beth picked up speed, glancing back every so often to make sure I kept up. I did, following in her tracks. My lungs swelled with each breath, expanding so much more than usual, telling of their capacity. Despite my size, each movement was sleek, calculated, efficient.
Like a hunter.
Our brisk run turned into a full-on sprint. Trees whizzed past and there was no fear of collision, because I saw every obstacle miles before we came to it. I felt … untouchable.
Beth glanced back again and I was right on her heels. She ran faster and so did I, topping out at a speed of what I guessed to be around sixty to seventy miles per hour, slightly faster than in dragon form. However, the ability to fly made up for the discrepancy.
As we ran, there was a pivotal moment where I identified with this side of myself, accepted I was as much this being as I was a dragon, and I embraced it. Acknowledging that I was more brought my sense of self into alignment and I had to wonder if Hilda had been right.
Before finding out I was a supernatural, a huge hole hollowed out my soul. Embracing my dragon filled it in, as did opening up to Liam. Slowly, but surely, I was finding myself. And now, the void inside me was disappearing.
Hilda may have had a less than stellar way of conveying her thoughts, but I appreciated it. She was honest with me in ways others weren’t. She didn’t treat me like a child and had never once tiptoed around my feelings. If she had, I wouldn’t have made so much progress. No, I still couldn’t cast a spell to save my life, but I was getting to know the true Evangeline.
And that was, quite possibly, the most important thing of all.
Beth veered right and I knew she was circling back. I could have, honestly, run forever, but knew we needed to get prepared for tonight’s training. It’d be more of what we learned at the facility, but the stakes were higher. We were, essentially, unprotected as a clan and the race to prepare for the future was even more pressing.
That old, rickety shed on the edge of our property came into view. It was only now that I realized how far we traveled so quickly. We slowed and I felt my heart race inside my chest when the rush of adrenaline began to dissipate. Beth huffed for a second and I would have smiled at her if I’d been able. She’d just done me a huge favor, introducing me to my wolf.
I gathered my clothes in my teeth and went around to dress beside Liam’s truck, giving Beth privacy, something that hadn’t been an option when we shifted. I dropped my things in the snow and panted while trying to figure out how to change back. You’d think it would have been simple, but …
Breathe.
Focus on the wolf.
Make her submit.
Slowly, I felt my bones shifting back into place. Still painful, but nothing like when I turned. Finally, I was me again. Naked, cold, me.
I reached for my shirt and stood upright. When I did, my dragon stepped forward and my veins glowed to bring me heat. Her return also brought with it a stronger sense of Liam, prompting me to look up, barely able to see above the hood of the truck. However, my view of the house was clear enough to see I had an audience of one.
“Is this payback for when I wandered inside your head after your shower?”
I laughed, remembering that night. It was one I thought of often, no matter how hard I tried to forget. It was several months ago, around the time I finally accepted that Liam wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. Still, despite how much time had passed, the visual of him standing in that mirror … before he had a chance to dress … it was seared in my brain.
Every.
Single.
Detail.
Warmth spread through me at the thought of it, but this had nothing to do with my dragon. It was all because of Liam.
“If it makes you feel better, I can’t see lower than your shoulders,” he promised with a slick grin, sipping from a bottle of water.
I stared at him through the pristine glass, knowing his inability to see more of me hadn’t been for lack of trying. It was my understanding that, once, we were wild together—all heat and passion. All the time. I couldn’t imagine it’d been easy for him to suppress that now. In fact, little by little, it’d become more difficult to contain.
For him.
For me.
It was mostly lingering glances saturated with need, but he’d gotten bolder with his words, the thoughts he let me hear.
Whenever I imagined being with him in that way, it always made me mindful of the symbol of our union—the bracelet that signified we were mated centuries ago and, technically, still were. Taking my jeans from the snow, I slid the bracelet from the pocket and back onto my wrist. Our commitment was one Liam upheld even after my death, long before he had any hope I’d return.
His loyalty was something I didn’t, and probably never would, understand.
“So, how was it?” he asked.
Shrugging before slipping my feet into my shoes, I answered, “Different. Shifting sucked, but the rest was pretty cool.”
“Good. We’ll talk when you get inside.”
He dismissed himself quickly, which was strange. Or at least it seemed strange before I noticed Elise had approached him. Her expression was dim, which meant it was likely something else had gone wrong.
The usual.
Behind me, snow crunched beneath Beth’
s boots as she came close. I tore my eyes away from Liam and Elise conversing and focused on Beth. Well, I tried to anyway.
“You survived,” she grinned. “How do you feel?”
“A little sore, but I think I’m okay.” I rubbed a tender spot on my shoulder, vividly recalling the way it shifted out of place. Chances were, it wouldn’t hurt long with the rate at which we healed.
“It won’t always be like this. First time’s the worst. And I hear, eventually, the pain disappears altogether.”
Thank God for that.
Curiosity got the best of me and I glanced up toward the window again, noting the tension in Liam’s brow. Tension that hadn’t been there a moment ago. And now Dallas was standing with them, too.
“Everything okay?” Beth asked. She must’ve read my expression.
I met her gaze again and faked a smile, but when she didn’t smile back, I knew she wasn’t buying it. I stopped pretending.
“I think something’s going on,” I confessed. “Whenever they have these little powwows without me, it’s usually because things have gone to crap and they’re trying to figure out how to shield me from it.”
We walked toward the house, making slow strides up the porch steps.
“That’s not the worst thing in the world,” she replied, but didn’t understand what it was like being tiptoed around all the time, treated like a child when you definitely weren’t one.
I shrugged, but didn’t share my thoughts aloud.
We were quiet a moment and it seemed the woods became quiet, too.
“You think it’s got something to do with Nick?”
This time, a long breath puffed from my lips. “Could be that,” I replied. “Could be anything.”
Which was true. Any number of things could have gone wrong.
“Have you … heard from him?” There was a smidge of hesitation when she asked.
Beth was well aware of the bad blood between Nick and I. When I brought her up to speed, I brought her up to speed on everything. Not leaving out a single detail because, next to Liam, I trusted her most of all.
“No. I think he knows better than to call me. We have nothing to say to each other.”
My chest clenched tight and I hated the ball of mixed emotions I carried for him. The romantic ones had completely faded, but I still cared. Not to mention, a small part of me still mourned the friendship I believed we could have had if the chips weren’t stacked so high against us. Once, I believed a kind heart beat within him. Now, after he so willingly sacrificed Liam, after he recklessly called on the witches without thinking of who else it could affect, who else it could hurt … I only saw him as cold.
Liam hated him, yes, but Nick was still breathing. He could have easily gone over the heads of those who argued to keep Nick alive if he really wanted to. Including myself. But he kept his word.
Was he perfect?
No, far from it.
But, despite the darkness shrouding Liam’s past, he was innately good. Right down to his soul. He’d only ever taken two lives in cold blood—Nick’s grandfather and his mate, but his pursuit of them was to avenge my death. The others had only been casualties of war. Even if his darkness made him more willing than most to fight.
To kill.
But he’d never intentionally set someone up to die.
Not like Nick had willingly done.
And, for that, I could never forgive him.
“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure Liam will see to it that things don’t get out of hand.” She smirked before adding, “It’s not every day a girl gets to say she has a dragon warrior at her disposal.”
I smiled, too, but it felt weak as I considered him putting himself in harm’s way for me. He’d already done so more times than I could count.
Glancing up, I found his gaze already locked on me as Elise continued to address him and Dallas.
Something was definitely wrong. If I wasn’t sure before, with that look set in his eyes … I was positive now.
—Chapter Ten—
Liam
Proud … that’s how I felt when a loud thud echoed off the trunks of surrounding trees. That sound meant she was making progress.
She’d taken down Chris, a sizable lycan, with little effort. They paired up this time, and I kept an eye on them in case he got too rough. It didn’t take long to realize I had no reason to worry. Evangeline was holding her own.
At the sight of the poor kid laid out in the snow, in shock, Dallas passed me a sideways glance, holding in a laugh. Chris smiled as he stood again, shaking snow from his clothes … and possibly shaking off a little embarrassment, too. He gestured for Evangeline to come at him again, and she did without hesitation. Just like I taught her.
Beneath the canopy of branches, the light of the moon glinted off fresh fallen snow. We had to meet here—out in the woods, away from humans who might hear or see—to continue with combat training. The Council was smart. They knew now was not the time to let these kids get soft, was not the time to drop our guard. Things were relatively quiet for the time being, but that could all change in the blink of an eye.
“Looks like we’ve got company,” Dallas said, nodding toward a mass of shadows weaving its way through the trees.
The atmosphere itself seemed to grow silent. For a moment, the only sound to be heard was the whistling of the wind as it swept through. It was quiet despite there being hundreds here, all with eyes set on three hooded cloaks that came into focus. The same three hooded cloaks most had never seen outside the confines of the chamber beneath the town library.
“Elders,” Dallas grumbled. As dragons, we had a natural dislike for all levels of lycan government, mostly because of our history and the part they played in leading charges against dragons. It’d take him a while to understand that, here in Seaton Falls, an alliance existed. An alliance that came to be because of Evangeline.
Most forced themselves to turn away, but their sparring efforts had clearly weakened as they half-focused on the tall figures coming nearer. Baz was at the lead as the others followed—two more Elders, and two new witches. They were a stoic group, bringing with them a chill that seemed to surpass the already frigid, winter temps. The new witches didn’t wreak of death and evil quite as boldly as the others, but I still didn’t trust them. Considering what I knew the others were capable of. Apparently, Baz had learned his lesson as well, instead choosing two whose hearts were slightly less dark.
A deep, gravelly voice brought my attention to Baz when he came to a stop beside me. I glanced at him for a moment, noting the hint of withered, white flesh and hollowed cheeks hidden in the shadow of his hood.
“Liam,” he said in greeting.
I nodded once before turning my gaze back toward Evangeline. He did the same, watched her. Beside me, I felt tension rolling off Dallas’ body in powerful waves. Elise and I had discussed the arrangement we had with the Elders of Seaton Falls, but he trusted them about as much as I did upon first meeting them. If I’d been able to tell him to relax, I would have.
“It appears our queen is learning rather quickly, is she not?” Baz’s words boomed from beneath his cloak. He spoke quietly, but the depth of his voice made it impossible to whisper.
I nodded, shoving both hands in the pockets of my jeans. “Seems like.”
He was making small talk and I hated small talk. Besides, it wasn’t fooling me anyway. Elders didn’t simply decide to leave their quarters. Especially not for minor gatherings like this, a training session for their young clan members. Myself, Dallas, Elise, and the many other seasoned shifters scattered about, could’ve handled this without their presence.
They were here for a reason.
To spy?
On assignment from the Council? Possibly even the High Council?
I decided to wait Baz out, mostly ignoring him and the others as we stood, watching. I focused, instead, on the shifters’ stances, looking for those who needed correction, making sure none of the sparring got out of han
d. If Baz wanted to discuss something, I’d listen, but I wouldn’t volunteer information.
My silence made it impossible for him to stall long. My guess? He’d suddenly grown tired of standing here, pretending to be interested.
“Are we free to discuss … personal matters?” When he asked, a long gaze was cast toward Dallas. A long gaze Dallas returned with a hard stare of his own.
I nodded, hoping to dispel the hint of aggression I sensed thickening in the air. “He’s aware of everything,” I answered. “He’s a trusted friend of Elise’s.”
Evangeline caught my eyes as soon as I finished speaking, and I knew she was at least curious as to why the Elders had come. But I would’ve gone as far as to guess she was more than curious … she was concerned.
The talk I had with Elise and Dallas this afternoon had most likely raised her suspicions. She was observant and likely sensed we were discussing something of a serious nature. There’d been no time to explain because Beth stuck around until it was time for training and rode here with us as well. So, now, I was sure this unscheduled visit seemed incredibly sketchy in Evangeline’s eyes.
Maybe … because it was.
A thought entered my head. One that seemed counterintuitive at the time. I’d fought so hard to protect her, to shield her from truths I considered grave enough that I should bear them on my own.
But I made her a promise.
She wanted to be revered as an adult, and rightfully so. Still … that didn’t make this easy. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel unsafe, or to make an already difficult time even more difficult. But … she had as much right as anyone else to know what we were up against now.
Maybe more of a right than anyone else.
After all, everything came down to her.
Fighting my own instincts, I opened my thoughts to her, allowing her to hear everything I heard. Whatever Baz said from this point forward, Evangeline would be privy to the same information.
“Can I assume you’ve heard the news?” Baz continued on, asking in that slow-dragging voice of his. The sound of it inside her head had Evangeline’s attention, too. She put up a finger, asking Chris to give her a sec, and then stepped off to the side to listen, I guessed.
