Sitting next to him, I ruffle his hair. He leans against me. “Yep. All for you, buddy. You’re stuck with us forever now,” I say. Lainey squeals in excitement.
“I’m so excited, Evan. Everyone will be here any moment. The adult paperwork was finalized last night. You are Evan Ridge, most awesome kid to ever grace the planet,” Lainey quips. She’s sworn off swearing. Mostly when he’s not around she’ll drop an F bomb here and there. It’s a novelty now. I tease her for it.
“He’s going to let it go to his head, Fast Lane. Give the boy some breakfast and let us do man stuff. I’m sure you’re going to make us wear those leg cages again.”
She scowls at me as she places a plate of eggs and fruit in front of Evan. “They are skinny jeans,” Lainey says, correcting my terminology.
“You know my thighs don’t fit in skinny jeans. They are cages for my thighs. And Evan can’t jump on the trampoline well with his on. Right, buddy?”
Evan swallows a bite of food. “He’s right, Mommy. Can we wear gym shorts?”
Oh, yes. Allied forces unite. Lainey looks like she’s honestly considering letting him wear gym shorts, but her fashion sense wins out in the end. She tells him that his corduroys will do instead. Me? I get to wear whatever jeans I want. I celebrate with a fist pump and kiss my woman so thoroughly that I dip her backward. Her blonde hair falls in a cascade toward the floor. It’s long again. The caveman in me approves.
The caterers arrive and the guests trickle in. Evan is celebrated properly. Maverick, Windsor, and their brood arrive fashionably late. Evan is excited to show the kids his new toys and they hurry off to play somewhere less adult.
Maverick slaps me on the back. “What a happy day, man. You guys are so lucky. He is a great kid. Really something special,” he says. Windsor leaves his side to bring a bottle of champagne and a wrapped gift to a table in the far corner. Maverick watches her walk away, shaking his head, like he can’t wait for her to come back. And then promptly have her for lunch.
“Nothing ever happens how you think it should, does it? Evan came to us by unconventional means after our unconventional relationship. He’s the biggest joy in my life,” I say, pressing my lips into a thin line. “Thanks for everything, Mav. Nothing probably would have happened otherwise. I’d still be sitting alone in my apartment, waiting for her to call. You and your dick moves that end up being awesome. You’re the king of that, aren’t you?”
He smiles. “Let’s put it this way. I know a thing or two about second chances. Rarely does waiting benefit them. I’m glad I could be of service, brother,” Mav says. I owe him, but he’d never let me pay him back. Real friends never expect payment. They’re happy to make you happy. Windsor comes back, kisses his cheek, and smiles sweetly at him. She congratulates me on the official adoption with a small hug. She has tears in her eyes. Today has been far more emotional than I imagined it would. He’s been ours for a while now. Just because it’s official shouldn’t make me feel any less different, love him any more, but I think I might. Molly, Horse, and Van stop by and Evan is excited to see them. They’re like his aunt and uncles. The fun ones who bring horrible gifts like Play-Doh and goopy games you only play once because of the mess they make. Today is no different, and Evan is excited to try out his new science kit in the kitchen. Lainey’s eyes widen when she sees him trying to climb the counter to the stove. I laugh.
Ridge Contracting functions without me. They are more than capable of running things themselves. No one ever talks about Vadim or the largest cover-up in RC’s history. Maybe that’s part of the cover-up. Not talking about it. I owe them, too. I check in every once in a while because it bears my name, but I’ve given up the fast lane completely. Aside from hitting our home gym daily, nothing else is at the receiving end of my fury. It’s nice. It’s odd. It’s what I want. Lainey still has her interior design business, but has slowed down to be around for Evan. We could easily afford nannies and babysitters, but she will have none of that. He’s hers. She reminds me of that all the time. To which I promptly respond, he’s mine, too. She relents then. It usually earns me a blow job, or the equivalent of an extreme orgasm.
I slip away from the party and head up to my office. It’s huge and light, at Lainey’s insistence. I want to give Evan something today, and I need to find Dog. I know he’ll love it. It’s old and torn up just like Cuppie. He’ll love it just as much as Lainey does. I unlock a wooden cabinet that’s in the bookshelf and pull out Dog. The rest of the things that Lainey put in my coffin are nestled safely inside here. There’s a picture of us when we dated all those years ago. We look like children, but I know why she picked this photo. We’re looking at each other and smiling like mad. It was taken by a passerby during the same trip when I proposed to her. Behind that is a sealed envelope I’ve never been able to open. It’s a letter from Lainey to me composed after I was pronounced dead. I only know this because she told me when I asked. A more curious man would have opened it sooner, but maybe I wanted to have everything first, to combat the nothingness she felt when she wrote this. Today, I have everything, so I open it and find her neat handwriting filling the page.
Cody Ridge,
You were supposed to give me everything. I put all of my eggs in your proverbial basket. All of the love in my heart belongs to you. I find myself crying for no reason and then realize it’s because I don’t know how to like anything if I can’t love you. You’re gone. They couldn’t recover your body and I don’t know what to put inside the box that’s supposed to hold you. You always loved my words. You would always watch my lips as I spoke, like you couldn’t wait to hear what I would say next. Remember how you’d lean over my shoulder and watch me type mundane words to clients? I thought it was just so you could be close to me, but that wasn’t it, was it? Words. My words. Even my boring ones you wanted.
I would have loved to give you a million words in this letter, but all of the words that currently come to mind are about pain and suffering and heartbreak so strong that I feel like I may die myself. Even dead, I wouldn’t want to read that. So instead, I’ll write to you as if you’re still living. I’ll give you happy words that tell you where I wanted to end up with you. Because that’s what life is about, right? Where you end up? I’ll be okay as long as I eventually end up next to you. Wherever that may be. I better stop swearing, huh?
For Cody:
In the summer, in the sand, in the hot, hot sun
You kissed me under swaying trees and I came undone
Oh, you’re the one
Oh, you’re the one
In the fall under the moon in the bright, night sky
You promised me forever and I thought I might die
Oh, you’re the one
Oh, you’re the one
In the winter in the snow looking at the big, lit tree
As tears trickled down, you asked to marry me
Oh, you’re the one
Oh, you’re the one
Now old and gray and seasoned in life
I’ll love you forever, me and you, man and wife
Oh, you’re the one
You’re always the one
In my heart always,
Lainey
Her words stare at me from the page like a dream. It’s like going back in time. A dark time. I now know it was a time when she could have written anything to me, instead I get this. I swallow down the emotion and try to check my pulse. It’s hammering so hard I can hear it in my ears. This, this letter is more difficult to read than a hundred beatings from V. I lock the letter away and bring the dog downstairs. She catches me on the stairs and smiles when she sees the stuffed toy in my hands.
“He’s going to love Dog. Help me in the kitchen, please?” Lainey asks, breaking me from my daydream.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I let her lead me away. I’ll let her lead me away anytime, and anywhere. She’s my one. I kiss the side of her head, trying to shake the image of her writing that letter away. “Time for cake?” I ask when I
see Evan drooling over the chocolate confection. I truly do have everything. I lost everything to gain more. You’ll hear no complaints from me.
“It is. I thought we could sing a little song for him with some candles on top. It’s like his adoption birthday. Just us three, though. What do you say, Evan?”
Evan’s eyes light up and I’m rewarded with the biggest smile. It’s there. The fullness of his heart shining through eyes that were once vacant. Pride beams through me at full strength. This moment isn’t for me or for Lainey, this moment is for the two-year-old who didn’t have clothing or shoes, who was being held in a cellar without food and sold like an animal to do ungodly things. This moment is for him. Because that boy is gone and will stay that way as long as I’m living. “I love you, Mommy and Daddy,” he whispers. Lainey breaks down and I hug my son, feeling his heartbeat against my own.
In a low tone I sing ‘happy birthday’ and slip in words about love and family. We’re all crying when I finish the song, folded into each other as a group—my girl, the boy who got a second chance at life, and the man who did, too.
We’ve painted our unconventional masterpiece and we don’t get to just admire it, we get to live it.
Our time and space is perfect.
Acknowledgements
To all that made this book possible: I love you. Thank you from the bottom of my angst-craving heart. Cody flexes at you. Lainey smizes in your direction. I merely bow graciously for everything you’ve done.
Readers: thank you for going on this ride with me. Cody and Lainey’s story was (very loosely) based off of a story someone told me about a real life situation. The man came back after being declared dead. A decade had passed. The love of his life had remarried, made children, and was living a new happily ever after when he finally returned. The man didn’t remarry, and his story didn’t leave much room for second chances. Because I write fiction I get to play matchmaker and fix shit. I mean, how sad is real life?
Time and Space is a second chance story for anyone who needs one. It’s for the person who took the leap of faith and dove into unknown territory. It’s for the person who went against the grain and called off a wedding last minute. Perhaps it’s also for the woman who married the wrong man and wishes she’d chosen differently. This story is for the man who can’t let go, the woman who can’t make up her mind, and it’s for those who follow their hearts against their better judgment. I suppose I also wrote it for those that can only imagine what it must be like to love two men at the same time.
May the love you have be so strong that no word can define it.
-Rachel
Other titles by International Bestselling Author, Rachel Robinson
Contemporary Romance
CRAZY GOOD
SET IN STONE
Paranormal Romance
Publisher: Eternal Press
Escaped: A Samantha Scott Novel
Embraced: A Samantha Scott Novel
Six
Visit Rachel Robinson online
http://www.racheljrobinson.com
https://www.facebook.com/racheljeanrobinson
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