“That’s a wise decision.”
“Wise, maybe, but damn tough to swallow.”
McMann nodded and opened the door. “Those kinds usually are. I’ll call you when I learn anything.”
Zach locked the deadbolt behind the officer and turned the alarm on. Although he knew lying about abuse was second nature to Lilly, if their relationship was going to work, she had to learn to be honest with him.
He tapped on the bedroom door before opening it. “Honey, are you okay?”
Lilly’s eyes cracked open. “Come on in.” She patted the bed next to her. “I’m fine.”
Zach ached to reach out to her, but knew she was too fragile to touch right now. “We need to talk about last night, Lil. I know you don’t want to, but I need you to tell me what really happened.”
“Please, stop asking. There’s nothing to tell.”
What would he do if she could never be honest with him? “Your bruises aren’t nothing, and a fall down stairs doesn’t explain the marks on your neck.” Zach shook his head. He hated pressuring her like this, it didn’t seem right somehow, but he had to get her to talk to him. “I know what Crandall did. Please just talk to me about it.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “Please stop,” she whispered, “I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I fell. End of story.”
“Lilly, I know what happened, just tell me!” Zach hit the bedspread.
Lilly cringed, eyes wide.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Zach held his hand out to her, fingers splayed in what he hoped was a nonthreatening manner. “Don’t be afraid. I would never—”
“I know you wouldn’t. Really, I do.” She reached out and took his hand. “I try to be normal, but sometimes I slip back to old ways.”
Forget the trauma of Charles. If Crandall did something to Lilly last night, as Zach felt was highly likely, how could it not bring up horrible memories? “Is that why you didn’t want to snuggle with me last night for so long?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Lilly looked away. “But maybe the concussion set me back a bit. I’m trying not to be afraid of you. And I’m not, not really. Just, no sudden movements, okay?” She gave him a tremulous smile, tucked herself under his arm, and cuddled against his chest.
Zach breathed a sigh of relief. Despite whatever happened, she could still bring herself to hug him. At least she wasn’t truly afraid of him. “If Crandall did anything, Officer McMann said we could come down and fill out a restraining order, at the very least.”
Lilly shook her head against him. Her soft hair tickled his face, and the scent of his own shampoo wafted up from it. It was somehow satisfying to have her smell like him, as if she belonged to him.
“I am not going to the police under any circumstances. Why won’t you let this go?”
“If he’s in jail, he can’t come after you,” Zach pointed out. “We need to file a report.”
“I thought you told me I could make my own decisions about my life.” She sniffled, and Zach handed her a tissue off the nightstand.
“I’m not trying to run your life, honey.” He held her a little closer, praying she wouldn’t get angry like she had before their trip to Portland. “I’m afraid for you. I want to protect you.”
What did Crandall threaten her with to convince her to lie? Zach thought they had broken past lying to each other, but Crandall must have really scared her to make her act that way.
He sighed and gently stroked her back. He didn’t want to fight with her, and if he continued to persist in this questioning, it was sure to make her leave him. “If that’s what happened, I guess that’s what happened. I can’t guarantee we won’t run into Crandall again though. He’s Tommy’s friend. He’ll be around the family while Tommy’s in town.”
He felt her shiver.
“I don’t like that man because of what he did to you,” she responded. “But as long as we’re together, I can handle anything. You and I can’t fight any more though.”
“No more fighting,” he agreed.
He’d have to be satisfied with that explanation. It looked like Lilly would not alter her story. He wouldn’t pressure her anymore about what really happened. He didn’t want to push her out of his life. Not that he believed her story...and if Crandall came near Lilly again, Zach didn’t know if he would be able to keep his word to Officer McMann.
Chapter Twenty-Five
By Wednesday afternoon, the thought of spending another day in bed repulsed Lilly. Enforced idleness quickly became boring. Thankfully, Margaret had called last night, inviting herself to lunch and a visit for the afternoon.
Lilly’s face had returned to normal proportions. It didn’t seem like Crandall cracked the bone. The bruises had faded to a sickly yellow-green, which she covered reasonably well with makeup. If she took a pill, she hardly noticed the pain.
She hated lying to Zach, but it was more important to protect Sarah and keep him away from the lies Crandall threatened to tell. To Lilly’s relief, Zach seemed to have let it go, not bringing it up again.
A car door slammed outside, and Zach entered the room. “Sounds like Grandma’s here. By the way, baby, lunch smells delicious.”
Lilly smiled. The way to Zach’s heart was definitely through his stomach.
“I hope Margaret likes it.” Lilly had woken up early that morning to make Beef Bourguignon.
Zach leaned down and nibbled gently on her earlobe. “I’m the one you have to impress, and I’m ravenous. Maybe tonight?”
Lilly felt herself blush. They hadn’t been intimate the entire time she’d been here. Zach was being incredibly sweet, but she sensed his patience deteriorating. Perhaps the only way to get over her fear would be to go for it. That approach seemed to work before, and she was losing precious time with him. “I’ll try.”
He grinned and walked to the front door, opening it just as Margaret’s driver knocked.
Margaret’s head poked into the doorway. “How’s my favorite patient?”
Lilly waved. “Feeling pretty darn fit. I think I’m ready to come back to work tomorrow.”
“I already told Zach, you aren’t to come back until next Monday.” Margaret walked in, shaking her head. “We can’t have anything happening to you.”
Perhaps she worried more about the way Lilly looked, but Margaret’s concern touched her all the same. “Okay, boss. Monday it is.”
“I brought our book.” Margaret held up the latest Nora Roberts. “No one reads it with the inflection you use. Sarah came up yesterday and tried.” She glanced over at Zach and leaned in close. “Talk about boring,” she whispered.
Lilly laughed. “Should we eat first? Lunch is nearly ready.”
“I’ve been looking forward to it. Your lasagna was delicious.”
The table was already set, and the stew was in the oven on warm, ready to serve. Lilly walked into the kitchen and poured buttered peas into a crystal dish. She tipped dried pasta into a pan of boiling water and set the kitchen timer for seven minutes. Using black hot pads, she picked up the warm casserole dish and limped to the table, setting the stew down.
Zach glanced at Lilly. “Honey, you’ve been on your feet all day. I’ll do that.”
Lilly took her seat and smiled at Zach. “The pasta will be done in a few minutes. When the timer goes off you need to drain it and—”
“Don’t worry,” he interrupted. “I’ll figure it out.”
Margaret chuckled as Zach lowered her onto one of the dining room chairs. “You’re a good influence on the boy, Lilly. I never thought I’d see the day Zach would step foot in a kitchen.”
Zach shot her a grin and walked away.
Lilly shrugged. “He does just fine in the kitchen. He made me breakfast Sunday morning.”
“You don’t say? That’s a big statement for a man like him. He must care about you a lot.”
Lilly smiled and shook out her napkin, placing it across her lap. It had been incredibly sweet of Zach, and Lilly decided sh
e wouldn’t tell Margaret it had been from the toaster and microwave. It was the first time anyone ever served her breakfast in bed, and had been wonderful.
“Where’s that cane Zach bought you?” Margaret asked. “I saw it at the party, and you really shouldn’t go around without it.”
Maybe Margaret wouldn’t veto the idea of Lilly using it while at work. That would certainly make things a lot easier. “My cane’s in the other room. I didn’t want to, um...well, I thought it might offend you.”
“Offend me?” Margaret cocked an eyebrow at her. “You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking that, child. I don’t know why you didn’t use one before.”
Lilly laughed. “I never knew how cool you were, Margaret. I was wrong for not asking about it.”
Margaret smiled. “Well, I am pretty cool, for an old lady. Don’t you forget it.”
Zach finished bringing the food in, apparently having figured out the noodles. He poured a small glass of Burgundy for himself and Margaret to complement the Beef Bourguignon, but Lilly made do with water, not wanting to mix alcohol with her pain medication.
Zach took a bite of stew and smiled at Lilly. “This is delicious.”
“Glad you like it,” Lilly said.
Across the table, Margaret nodded her agreement. “Terrific. You’re a better cook than I ever was, but my William loved my food anyway.” She waved a piece of French bread in the air as she talked. “I dare say he pretended in the beginning. We ate a lot of burnt meals.”
“But you had true love, Grandma,” Zach said. “Granddad once told me he would’ve eaten burnt meals the rest of his life, just to have you in his arms at night.”
How would it be to have a love like that? That was what she wanted. Everything she ever heard about William led Lilly to believe he had been much like his grandson. Maybe a little less arrogant, since he wasn’t born into money, but a gentleman nonetheless.
Lilly stifled a sigh. Marriage to Zach would be bliss.
Margaret took a sip of wine and narrowed her eyes. “Speaking of wives cooking for their husbands, when are you two making the big announcement?”
Zach’s shoulders stiffened and his fingers clutched at Lilly’s arm for a moment. He shrugged and took another bite of food.
He obviously didn’t want to talk about marriage and Margaret’s comment made him uncomfortable. Why did she have to bring it up with him in the room? Talking to Margaret about a wedding that would never happen as entertainment during the workday was one thing. Margaret trying to force Zach into a conversation that would make him uncomfortable was an entirely different story. Lilly avoided Margaret’s piercing blue gaze, unsure what to say.
“Well?” she demanded.
Zach raised his eyebrows at Lilly slightly before returning his attention to his grandmother. “We haven’t talked about that yet, Grandma. We’ve only dated a few weeks.”
Lilly tried to guard herself against the disappointment clutching her chest. He certainly didn’t sound like a man who had given a single thought to marriage. Really, it shouldn’t surprise her. He’d never even said he loved her. Marriage talk was a bit sudden.
Margaret snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. I knew the minute I met your grandfather he was the man I would marry. You two have known each other months now.”
This was a disaster. Zach didn’t want to marry her—there was no denying that. He may as well have screamed it with his reaction. Lilly had to stop this conversation, steer things to safer topics.
“How did you and William meet?” she asked to divert Margaret’s attention.
“Oh, at a county picnic on the Fourth of July.” Her old eyes sparkled with pleasure. “I saw him across the park, and I knew right away I had to get to know him better. By the time the fireworks started, I was snuggled up against him. We married two months later.”
“That’s so romantic,” Lilly said. “And where did you first live?”
Margaret happily answered any question Lilly put forth, and Lilly asked them all through the meal. Zach stayed quiet, only speaking when Margaret asked him a direct question. Obviously, the marriage discussion upset him, and Lilly didn’t know how to fix things.
Once the plates were in the dishwasher and the leftovers in the refrigerator, Zach escaped to his office. Lilly tried to enjoy the rest of the afternoon playing cards and reading to Margaret, but it was difficult not to worry about Zach. She couldn’t help but wonder if he would even still want to make love to her tonight. After all, he clearly did not want anything permanent.
***
Lilly watched warily as Zach entered the bedroom. She’d put on a short teal nightgown with black lace trim. Maybe the sexy nightie would put her in the mood and help Zach forget about the awkward conversation with his grandmother. Lilly wanted to get things back on track between them. He didn’t want to marry her, but perhaps he would learn to love her if given more time.
She tried to convince herself she was ready to make love to Zach again. That didn’t stop the flutter of panic that blossomed as he shrugged out of his shirt.
You can do this, Lilly. He’s not Crandall and certainly not Charles. You love Zach.
“How was work, dear?” she asked, forcing a smile.
“It actually went really well today.” He stripped down to his boxers and hopped onto the bed. His arms wrapped around her. “I accomplished quite a bit. I’ll probably be up for letting you read it soon.”
Lilly gave him a real smile and relaxed her shoulders. “That’s terrific. You know I can’t wait.”
“I’m happy to have such an enthusiastic fan.” He laughed and dropped a kiss into her hair. “Did you enjoy your visit with Grandma?”
Lilly froze for a moment, not sure how to respond. If he brought Margaret’s visit up, did that mean he wanted to talk about the marriage thing? But if she brought it up and he didn’t want to talk about it, things would be awkward again.
“It was nice to have something to do,” she finally responded, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart. “I’m not used to being so idle. I need to get back to working out soon. I can’t afford to let my leg weaken.”
Lilly felt the motion of Zach’s shoulders as he shrugged. He rubbed his fingers along her side, and his hand moved sensually against the silk of her nightgown. “Let’s move your weight machine here. It’ll fit in the spare bedroom.”
Lilly went still, afraid to breathe. “What do you mean? I’m going home soon.”
“Why? Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to stay here?”
Lilly lifted her head off his shoulder and met his eyes. “You mean until the stalker is caught?”
“I mean, I love spending time with you.” He stroked her head with his strong fingers, and Lilly sighed with pleasure. “And I’d love to have you in my bed every night.”
There was that love word again. But, if he loved being with her, maybe that could turn into something more.
Lilly didn't know how to respond to his question. She would love to live with him—if he was serious. It wasn’t marriage, but it was a commitment of sorts. It was a wonderful thought, but she would wait for him to bring it up at a time he wasn't thinking about sex. Desire surely motivated his words right now.
Lilly lay across his chest, feeling less anxious when he allowed her to stay on top. The thought that he might want to live with her made her even more determined to please him. She caressed his muscular abs and followed the dark trail of hair downward. His sharp intake of breath made her smile as she rubbed the increasing bulge beneath his boxers. She could do this; she loved him.
She stroked his hardened length, cupped him gently in her palm, and continued on to massage his thigh before moving back up.
“Oh, Lilly. I’ve missed you.” His fingers tangled through her hair. “I can usually go months without sex, but I want to make love to you more than anything.”
Make love? Happy tears stung the corners of her eyes. She leaned up, straining to reach his mouth with hers. He closed the di
stance between them and kissed her gently, sucking on her bottom lip and biting it lightly. An involuntary moan left her throat, and she ran her tongue across his upper lip.
Lilly moved to capture his earlobe between her lips. Sounds of pleasure ripped from Zach’s throat. Dampness spread between her legs just hearing that noise and smelling his masculine scent. She created a trail of kisses down his neck to nibble at his collarbone.
His arms convulsed around her, and he tugged her nightgown up past her hips and stroked her buttocks. His fingers reached between her legs, rubbing back and forth along the entire length of her sex and stopping to flick against her swollen clit.
She moaned and shifted away from his hand. She couldn’t allow his clever fingers to distract her. He had waited several days for this, and Lilly wanted to give him something worth the wait.
She pulled at his boxers, stripping them down from his waist so he could kick them off the end of the bed. “Where’s the condom?”
After fumbling in the drawer of the nightstand, he handed her one. “You do it.”
Lilly nodded and struggled to open the package. She leaned down and gently kissed the head of his hard shaft. His harsh moan and the way he clutched her head pleased Lilly as she slid her tongue down the thick length of him. She took him into her mouth, and he tugged on her hair and gasped a quiet ‘yes.’ The warmth between her legs pooled deeper every time he moved her head back slightly, and she delighted in the feeling of having complete control over him as he responded to every move her hand and tongue made.
Zach’s breath came in ragged gasps as Lilly continued up and down. “No, wait. Lilly, you have to stop,” he pleaded. “This will end too soon if you keep that up.”
She retreated to the top of his penis, kissing the head once more before she rolled the condom down its length. “We definitely want to ‘keep that up.’”
Lilly carefully slung her leg over Zach’s body and sat on his stomach. His hands gripped the bottom of her nightdress, slowly drawing it up over her body. He threw it off the bed and stroked her sides, causing her to shiver.
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