by Cassia Leo
He let her take it.
She squeezed him.
He touched her face tentatively, pushing a strand of her hair out of her eyes.
Her heart sped up. He really was a very attractive man, wasn’t he?
His voice was husky. “I’ll get you out of here, don’t worry. I don’t know how I’m going to do it yet, but I will.”
She bit her lip. She believed him.
***
1995
Heath stumbled through his hotel room. There were cards and poker chips strewn across the table and the floor. He nursed a bottle of beer in one hand. He wasn’t nearly drunk enough yet, and the night was wearing thin. Music was pouring out of the stereo. Rage Against the Machine. Heath turned it down. The hotel room was empty. Everyone had left.
A caress on his bare back.
He turned. Not everyone. Some woman was here. He didn’t know if he’d ever paid attention to her name. She wore a skimpy short skirt and dark lipstick.
He pushed her away from him. “It’s not going to work.”
She raised her eyebrows. “What isn’t?”
He glared at her. “My dick. Why don’t you leave?”
He’d tried since leaving Cathy months ago. He’d figured the best thing would be to go out and fuck as many women as he possibly could, try to erase her from his head. But he couldn’t do it. He’d get close, and then he’d think about Isabella, face down on that picnic table, her legs spread, blood from her busted cherry all over both of them and…
Well, everything shut down around that point. Everything… shriveled.
He’d come to terms with it by now. He was going to live a celibate life. And hopefully, it would be short. He was planning to gamble away all his money and drink himself to death.
Which would be easier if he lost poker games more often than he did.
He could throw them on purpose, he supposed. But that seem disingenuous, like he was willfully trying to kill himself. Which he wasn’t doing. Not really.
“Too much to drink?” said the woman in the short skirt.
“Something like that,” said Heath. He set down his beer and slumped in the hotel room’s easy chair. It was lacking much cushioning, and it wasn’t very comfortable.
She knelt between his legs, running her hands over his thighs. “Sure you don’t me to try?”
Where had this woman come from, and why did she care? Was it because he’d won big at the game tonight? “Look, if you’re trying to steal from me, just take what you want.” He fumbled in his pockets for money. He shoved a wad of bills at her.
She stood up, offended. “No. I don’t want your money.”
He smirked. “But we barely know each other, and you’re just dying to suck my cock? Somehow I find that hard to believe.” He fished his beer back up off the table, guzzling it.
“You’re as much of an asshole as people say,” said the woman, looking down at him. “You gay or something?”
He gave her a withering look. “You think highly of yourself, don’t you? A guy says no to you, and you assume it’s because he isn’t interesting in women?”
She didn’t respond for a minute. And then she laughed. “You’re a funny asshole.”
Heath rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you leave?”
“If that’s what you want,” she said.
Heath shrugged.
She started for the door.
“Wait,” he said. Maybe he felt lonely. When the girl left, he’d be by himself in this hotel room, drunk and unable to sleep. Like he was locked up with ghosts. “You want to stay and have a beer?”
She laughed. “Really? You’re not good company, you know.”
“Fine,” he said. “Leave.”
“Did something bad happen to you? Did your mother die or your girlfriend leave you for another man?”
He drank more beer. “Stay and have a beer, and I’ll tell you my sob story.”
She considered. “All right.”
He tossed her a beer.
She caught it, popped it open, and perched on the bed, looking at him expectantly.
“What?” he said.
“I’m waiting for the sob story,” she said.
He laughed. He almost found himself liking this girl. He took another drink, and then he started to talk. It all poured out of him, even the part about his killing Floyd and beating on Matt when he was unconscious.
He talked and talked, and she listened.
She seemed very interested.
When he was done, they’d each had two more beers. He set his down. “And so I left, because I can’t be with her.”
The girl let out a long, slow breath.
“Thanks for listening,” said Heath.
She tossed her hair. “That’s tragic. Really. It’s like something out of a Greek play.”
“Well, I’m glad you find my miserable life entertaining.”
The girl got up off the bed. “I only think it’s kind of funny that you’ve tortured yourself about it for so long when you aren’t sure of the truth.”
“What?”
She headed for the door of the hotel room. “You don’t know that she’s your sister. What if she’s not?”
Why would she say something so idiotic? “What if she is? Just the possibility makes it disgusting.”
“Well, you should find out for sure,” she said.
“Find out?”
“Get a paternity test, idiot,” she said.
*
Isabella tossed a shirt across the room in frustration. Everything was getting too snug.
She gazed at herself in the mirror in her bedroom.
Her belly was really starting to stick out now. People were going to notice before long. When it had only been her boobs getting a little bigger, it had been easy to ignore. But it was getting obvious now.
She was going to have to stop ignoring it and admit it to herself.
She was pregnant.
She picked up a baggy flannel shirt and began buttoning it. Would it be big enough to hide everything? She surveyed herself in the mirror. It did. Mostly. And it was cold outside these days. She needed to wear something warm against the late fall chill.
She should have done something—said something—a long time ago.
But she couldn’t. Not after seeing the way her parents had reacted to Eli and Cathy.
Her parents had returned from the Hamptons to find that their son had impregnated Cathy, and that Cathy was on bed rest for fear of losing the baby. Eli had told them all of this in a matter-of-fact way, as if he’d expected them to take it all in stride.
Mother had sobbed and run off to her bedroom, locking the door and refusing to see anyone.
Father had spent all his time trying to get Mother to calm down. It was what he did most of the time. But he’d been furious with Eli. Absolutely furious.
When her parents had finally calmed down enough to talk, they’d been embarrassed and appalled. They’d bemoaned the loss of Eli’s future. They’d insisted that Eli and Cathy had to be married if they wanted to keep living under the same roof—especially if that roof was their roof.
Mother hadn’t seemed particularly pleased that Eli was marrying Cathy, who wasn’t quite an appropriate bride for her son. But there was nothing to be done about it now, of course.
Isabella had thought that was pretty silly, given the circumstances. Obviously, whatever her parents were trying to prevent from happening by keeping Cathy and Eli from living together had already happened.
But it hardly mattered, since the two of them had agreed to get married right away. Getting married was the respectable thing to do, and the Lintons were nothing if not respectable.
The wedding had been a joke, since Cathy was still on bed rest.
But her parents were so disappointed in Eli. So upset and sad. They’d shaken their heads and talked about how his future had been ruined and how their reputations would suffer and how they couldn’t figure out where they went wrong.
/> When Isabella missed her period, she was terrified. But she hoped that maybe it was happening for some other reason. Maybe she was too thin. She did feel hungry all the time, after all.
And when she started to gain a little bit of weight, she just put it down to eating a lot.
But then her period didn’t come again the next month.
And she knew. But she didn’t think about it. She didn’t say anything.
She was terrified.
Cathy was still on bed rest, and she was enormous and irritable, a mountain of a woman locked away in a room. Isabella didn’t want that to happen to her. She knew, maybe somewhere deep down she knew, that she had options, and that she could have gone to a clinic somewhere, and the thing that was growing in her could be sucked out and extinguished.
But she’d have to admit that it was there first.
She touched her stomach. She was pretty sure it was too late now. Things had gone too far.
She was going to have to tell someone, and she couldn’t tell her parents. She didn’t think her friends would be much help either, not that she’d been spending much time with them lately. For months, she’d been exhausted all the time. It seemed like all she’d done was eat and sleep. She bet her friends didn’t even remember her. Besides, they wouldn’t be able to help. Maybe if she’d said something earlier… But she hadn’t. She couldn’t go to Heath, of course, and this was his fault. No one knew where Heath was.
After the way he’d treated her, she doubted he’d be very supportive, anyway.
That only left Eli, but she didn’t want to bother him with it. He was going to classes, and taking care of Cathy, and he was busy. And on top of that, he didn’t seem like himself anymore. He was sad and tired, like he’d been beaten.
Maybe he had.
That was Heath’s fault too.
If she went to Eli and told him that Heath had knocked up his little sister, then what would it do to him?
And, good god, what were her parents going to say? Not just one of their children, but both of them? They’d be so mortified. They’d hate her.
Isabella pulled on the pair of stretchy pants she always wore these days and hugged herself. She wouldn’t say anything yet. She could hide it a little bit longer. She’d keep quiet until the very last minute.
*
Heath slapped the results down in front of Matt. “Thanks for your help, guy who is completely not related to me in any way shape or form.”
Matt was holding a glass of whiskey in the kitchen of the farmhouse. He sighed and picked up the paper. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing. I never wanted us to be brothers.”
Heath smiled. He hadn’t been in this good of a mood in a long time.
“But you remember the deal, right?” said Matt. “I gave you that DNA sample, and now you never come back to this farmhouse.”
“I remember,” said Heath. “I don’t ever want to come back here, anyway. Bad memories.” He picked up the results paper and folded it, tucking it away in his pocket.
“You’re gonna go to Cathy, aren’t you?” said Matt.
“I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t,” said Heath.
“She’s eight months pregnant and on bed rest,” said Matt. “You think this is a really great time to mess up her life?”
“I already messed up her life by leaving her. I’m going to her to fix things. We’re supposed to be together.”
Matt laughed. “Right, because given the choice, she always picks you, doesn’t she?”
“She will now,” said Heath, his mouth dry. “She’ll have to.”
“She won’t,” said Matt. “But as long as I never have to see your sorry ass again, I don’t care.” He peered out the window. “There’s a storm brewing. They say it’s going to be a bad one. Leftovers from that hurricane off the coast. You can see the trees blowing around out there. We’re not going to have one leaf left after this is over.”
Heath rolled his eyes. “As fascinating as your weather report is, Matt, I think I’m going to be going.”
“Good riddance,” said Matt.
*
The rain was blowing sideways as Heath pulled up to the Linton house. He wasn’t sure the best way to go about this. Should he sneak into the house and try to find Cathy secretively or should he march up to the door and announce himself?
He liked the idea of shoving all of it in Eli’s face, and he’d like it if Eli answered the door.
But if Isabella did…
He didn’t want to see her at all.
So he parked away from the house, and he crept up to the room where he’d found Cathy before. He knew that there were glass doors there, and that it would be easy to break in.
When he got out of the car, the rain drove into him like icy needles. He thought it was interesting that it had been storming the night he left. Now, four months later, he was back, and there was another storm. Like they punctuated his and Cathy’s story.
As if to emphasize his thought, lightning forked across the sky above him.
He hurried through the rain, fighting against the wind, which was fierce and strong.
When he got to the glass doors, he was drenched and shivering. The wind cut into his wet clothes. He wouldn’t let any obstacles get in the way of getting to Cathy, though.
He busted open a pane of glass using a rock. He figured they’d think the wind had done it. He reached inside and unlocked the door.
He let himself in.
The room was dark and empty, but the door was open to the hallway, and he saw a sliver of yellow light out there.
Quietly, he crept to the hallway, and he peered out side.
Empty.
It was much warmer than it had been outside. He was grateful.
He stepped out in the hallway, realizing he was leaving a trail of wetness behind him because he was dripping on everything.
He ducked back into the room. He remembered there was an adjoining bathroom, with towels. Cathy had given him one before. He’d been soaking wet that night as well.
As he toweled off, he thought of the despair he’d felt then. Now, he was overjoyed and excited. He had to find Cathy. Everything was going to be okay now.
*
When the door to her room opened and Cathy saw Heath there, his hair and clothes damp, she thought she was dreaming. He looked almost exactly the way he had the last night that she saw him. She thought about that night so often. How she’d let him go. She shouldn’t have done that.
Things between her and Eli were strained, despite the fact they’d been joined in holy matrimony by a justice of the peace standing over her bed. She’d been married in her nightgown. Not exactly the wedding of her dreams.
She still loved EIi, and she knew that he loved her as well. And she knew that they’d be able to make it. What they had was strong enough.
But it would never be the same. She couldn’t forget the night she’d spent with Heath. She thought about it and missed him. Yearned for him. Eli couldn’t forget about it either. She knew he was hurt. She knew he thought about her infidelity. He seemed to have forgiven her, but it wasn’t without a price. Their relationship would never be as carefree or as easy as it had been before. Neither of them could truly heal.
Not that she expected Eli to bounce back as if nothing had happened. It couldn’t be easy for him. She didn’t deserve how good he was to her.
The way she’d behaved, she didn’t deserve any of the good things that had happened to her.
Maybe she was being punished.
She lay in bed. She wasn’t supposed to get up and move around very much. Sometimes, she felt like the baby was getting bigger and bigger and crushing her.
Sometimes, she only felt excitement at the prospect of meeting the tiny little being inside her. She whispered to her little girl, promising her all the things they would do together when she came out.
If she ever came out.
Sometimes, Cathy thought the pregnancy was never going to end.
She would lie in bed and daydream about being a little girl again herself, running through the fields with Heath, making mud pies on the bank of the creek, filling up water balloons and dropping them on Matt when he wasn’t watching. Everything was simpler back then. She and Heath loved each other the only way they knew how. There was nothing wrong or unnatural about it. It didn’t hurt anyone. They didn’t hurt each other.
And when she saw Heath standing in front of her, in the doorway to the room, she thought he was just a daydream, just her mind showing her the things she wanted to see.
But then he was next to her, on the bed, his arms around her, his mouth on hers. He was wet, and the coldness seeped through the covers on her bed, through her clothes. But she didn’t care.
She gasped. “Heath.” She touched his face. Was he really here?
“Oh, Cathy, I missed you so much.”
“You said you wouldn’t come back. You said you were gone forever.” He couldn’t be here after all. It was a cruel dream, and when she woke up, she’d sob for him.
“You’re not my sister,” he said. “Floyd wasn’t my father.” He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, but it was soaking wet, and he couldn’t open it. It fell apart in shreds. “Shit.”
“What was that?” she said.
“It was the results of the paternity test I got done,” said Heath. “They were able to use Matt’s DNA to figure it out, and I wanted to prove it to you. But it doesn’t matter. There are other copies, and—”
She stopped his mouth by kissing him hard. She had known being his sister couldn’t be right. She knew that there was nothing unnatural about her and Heath together. They shared a soul. They were meant for each other.
He pulled back. “Come with me.”
“Where?” she said.
“I don’t know. Anywhere. Wherever you want to go.”
“When?”
“Now.”
“But… the baby?”
His hand caressed her swollen stomach. “If it’s part of you, I want it. I should never have been such an ass before. I love you, Cathy. I love everything that’s inside you and everything that pops out of you.”
