“Death and Night came together and birthed a being that struck fear into the hearts of man with its monstrous form. It's said that his pelt shined like it held the night sky, but his face was a beastly skull with fangs that dripped black magic,” Johannes began. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest with his storytelling. Atohi reached over and placed one of his large hands on my thigh and squeezed.
“He would skulk through the towns until he met a woman whom held no fear for him. Some tales say she was blind, others say she had her own deformities. He learned what to be loved felt like and was able to transform into a man to be with her. When she perished many years later, Death and Night had pity on their brokenhearted child and turned both him and his wife into twinkling stars in the night sky.”
“You should've made your living telling stories, Johannes. I've heard that tale more times than I can count, but there's just something about your voice while you recite it that makes things interesting.” Chesca sighed, then spun to show off the completed garment in her hands. “Voila, one down.” I was stunned at her speed and ability. She handed Johannes a midnight-black sweater before setting out to work on the next. He pulled it over his head, and I was immediately in awe of how perfectly it hugged his frame and accentuated his shoulders.
I didn't want to begin to imagine what a gown or suit, or even casual wear, usually cost from her.
“I doubt there could be any other Arachnid Magi that are nearly as talented as her,” I marveled.
“I wouldn't have had a tool with which to practice this technique without Atohi,” Francesca said without even looking up from her work. “Dear, did you not tell her?”
When I twisted to look at him, there was a faint dusting of a blush on his cheeks.
“No need to be shy, brother,” Johannes said. To me, he added, “He is a master blacksmith of mystic items. He's forged items, like Francesca's needle, that help to concentrate magic for many different Magi, including that ring you’re wearing. He made things for nearly everyone back at Hecate.”
“Atohi, that's amazing! Why didn't you say anything?” I smiled warmly at him and touched the ring, which now meant so much more, my chest swelling in pride with the knowledge that he could create such fantastical items even beyond his whimsical tinkering.
“It's not something I've been able to do in a very long time. The most I've done in recent years has just been some of the things you saw in my house. You can't gather much for materials when you need to hold everything in your maw.” He sent another harsh look at Johannes.
I gently turned his face back to me. “You are so impressive. Will you show me more of your creations sometime?”
He nodded before giving me one of his boyish grins that melted my heart every time. “I'll make something just for you.”
“I bet it will be so beautiful.”
Ben approached from the hall, a shy smile on his face, as he held something behind his back.
“Hey, sweetie, what do you have there?” I cooed as I leaned forward to get closer to him.
“Tada!” He held up a little bunny plush, the one I had seen the night I had stayed here, well, for part of the night at least.
“Oh, my, that is a very handsome bunny,” I said as I shook the stuffed animal’s little paw.
“Auntie Chesca made it for me when I was a baby. He’s my favorite,” Ben told me so matter-of-factly that I couldn’t help but smile.
Chesca laughed. “I never thought he’d have liked that little toy so much. Now, cherie, back to the matter at hand. I think you'll like what I have in mind for you.”
I couldn't wait to see what else she’d come up with.
~~~
Chesca handed me a thickly knitted sweater dress. It had a cowl neck and was a rich cream color.
“This is amazing. You're amazing,” I gushed.
She giggled. “Try it on!” Chesca didn’t have to ask me twice. I slipped it on and wrapped my arms around myself and relished in the softness.
“Oh, my God, Chesca! This is the best thing I have ever put on my body.” I laughed. “Sue is going to freak when she sees this.”
“Maybe the four of you should go on a little date together. I think it'd be nice to get some fresh air. I can finish up here,” Chesca offered.
“Can we go for ice cream?” Ben clutched his bunny to his chest and looked up at Johannes and me with a hopeful smile.
“It's not a good idea.” His father immediately shot it down.
My heart was crushed at the crestfallen look on Ben’s face. The poor boy hadn’t gotten to be a real kid.
“Johannes, it'd be nice for him to get to go out.” I placed a hand on his forearm.
“You're pushing your luck, Alice,” he nearly growled. My heart pounded heavily in my chest, and I flinched back. It was the first time his anger had been actually directed toward me. My eyes burned with tears that I refused to shed.
He ran a hand through his dark hair before turning on his heel and leaving the room. The sound of a slamming door seemed to resonate through the house.
I sighed and knelt before Ben. “I'll be right back, sweetie. I just need to talk to your father.”
Ben looked uneasy about me leaving, but he was quickly scooped up by Atohi, who smiled down at him. “Why don't you tell me about this bunny of yours?”
“Thank you, Atohi.” I squeezed his shoulder.
I hurried after Johannes, trying to find which room he had entered. Light spilled from the bottom of a door. With a small knock, I pushed it open to find him pouring a glass of brown liquor. He barely glanced at me as I approached.
“Johannes…” I began. “I know you want to protect him, but it's not fair to keep him locked away in this house.”
He scoffed at me. “I'm trying to keep him safe. He's not a prisoner.”
“Look, Johannes, I know you’re worried about what could happen to him, and you have every right to. But, don't you think you're just doing the same thing as Zella?”
Johannes’s eyes flashed red at me. I stood my ground. I didn't want to back down on this. We could keep Ben safe. I just wanted to see him happy.
When he didn't respond, I sighed. “I'm sorry. I know you think you're doing what's best for him, and I'm sure it was extremely hard on you to raise him so far by yourself, but you don't have to anymore. I want to be here for Ben. I'm sure Atohi does too. Did you see his face?”
He still didn't turn to look at me, but his shoulders sagged ever so slightly. With caution, I approached and put my hand on his arm.
“Johannes, talk to me. What is going on?”
He wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer as he finished his drink. “It's not just him I'm trying to protect. I know you've wondered why exactly I needed to bring out your Magus form.”
“I thought that—”
“That I had nefarious reasons?”
I nodded; his condescending tone made me feel ashamed.
Johannes’s arm went taut under my fingers. He turned his face away, jaw clenched tightly before he spoke. “Truth is, Benjamin didn't come out unscathed from his stasis. His body is rejecting his Magus form—and that means sometimes he loses control of it.”
As sad as that was, it made so much sense. “When Sue and I were here, it seemed like it was trying to... take control. It was outside of his body, hovering, but still attached.”
Johannes shook his head. “His Magus and human forms shouldn't exist independently from each other. They are one and the same. It just gets worse and worse.”
He detached himself from me and gripped my cheeks, his large thumbs wiping at the wetness that rimmed my eyes.
“I was hoping your powers would be able to help heal him. Now I fear it may be too late.”
“Too late? Like that he might...” Die. I couldn't speak the word aloud. “Atohi told me that healing magic comes at a price, and that's okay. I'll... I'll do it for him.”
“You don't understand what you're saying,” he snorted.
<
br /> “Then explain it to me!”
We stared at each other, neither of us making a noise. Johannes finally relented.
“You really are just as bullheaded as she was.”
“So I've heard.” I clenched my jaw. How many times would they tell me that?
“There had been studies attempted to see if a Magus could be separated from the human form,” Johannes scoffed. “They thought that if the magic could be isolated, they might be able to breed us like designer dogs. All experiments failed. Even when they managed to pull the two forms from each other, their minds shattered and they died. Every. Single. Time.” Johannes seemed rattled as he talked, his eyes were wavering.
“Johannes… what did they make you do?” My voice was soft, barely above a murmur.
He pulled away as if burned and poured another couple fingers of brandy. Johannes downed it in one go, not even flinching.
“Hey, Johannes, please.”
“Do you want to know why Zella and I were so close?” He finally relented. “They had us doing terrible, unspeakable things… I’ve never told anyone else about it. Only those there knew.”
I could feel the shift in the air, in his energy. My pulse thrummed heavily.
“They had Zella and me there to conduct the experiments. I was to use my Ghoul form to reach into their still breathing bodies,” he said through clenched teeth. “Zella was to keep them alive long enough to try the separation, but they never lasted long after.”
I gasped. They had been forced to do such horrific things that I couldn’t even begin to imagine. The people that ran Hecate, those were the people that deserved my father’s ire, not Magi as a whole. They didn’t want this.
Tremors wracked Johannes’s body as he leaned forward with his hands on the smooth wood of his writing desk. I wrapped my arms around his middle, face pressed between his shoulder blades.
“Their screams—her screams too—I can still hear them. We were the only ones we could talk to about the horrors we experienced. We… found solace in each other.”
It made so much more sense now, why they had to hide the nature of their relationship from Atohi. Though, I know he would’ve understood if they had talked to him, but to admit out-loud to such unspeakable things…
“One of the doctors there was actually the person that helped us leave. He said the experiments were going too far and that they couldn’t continue without a Ghoul and Paean,” he added.
“So, Ben really could die if his Magus form separates from him? But why is this happening to him?”
He shook his head and straightened his back, one of his hands cupping mine where they rested against his stomach. “The only thing I can think of is the stasis. The whole time he was in that mausoleum, Zella and the Fae were pumping their magic into his tiny little body. Since he is a Ghoul Magus, it's possible that it created conflict inside his own magic.”
“What do I need to do? I know my magic is weak right now, but I can learn. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? We’ve wasted all of this time that I could’ve been helping him.”
“I had to know if you were like your father or not,” he barked. “I’m trying my best.”
I pulled away and shook my head. “Johannes, I’m not accusing you of being a bad father, but if you had just talked to me—”
“Would you have believed me, Alice? Welcome to Janafield, where magic is real and challenges all of your cemented facts about life. Here is my child I had with your grandmother. Please heal him with the magic abilities you didn’t know you had.” Ouch. He raked his hands through his hair, which seemed to be an anxious habit of his, though his hair still seemed to always remain perfect.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have believed you at first,” I started. “I would’ve come around if you’d been honest with me. That’s all I wanted from you Johannes, honesty.” I bit my knuckle to keep the sob back that was building up.
“If I am to be honest… I was afraid you would be like your father. When I saw the necklace around your neck, I had to be sure it was because you didn’t know,” he said slowly as he finally turned to look back at me.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t be angry at him for that. I had no idea of how far my dad’s hatred for Magi went. Johannes couldn’t risk Ben’s safety, just like I couldn’t now.
“If my healing doesn’t work… what’s our option? There must be someone who would know something. What about the man that helped you both escape? Is he still… alive?”
“Yes, he is. Well, at least he was the last I knew. He was taken shortly after the disappearances started. He was Benjamin's physician. He didn't know the actual scale of what was happening, but he was able to craft a medication that at least calmed the magic within him for a while.”
“Then we’ll need to go find him.”
“I've been trying to investigate, but every road has led to a dead end.” Johannes stood before his bookshelf and pulled a notebook out and tossed it onto his desk, which caused several photos of places I didn’t recognize to slide out.
“We’ll figure everything out. Ben will make it out of this.” I gave him my best smile. “You, me, and Atohi.”
“You know… I was terribly mean to him when we were growing up at Hecate…” He paused, seemingly composing himself. “I wanted to protect him from how awful everything was there by making myself the center of his ire. He found out what I was doing, though. I think Zella told him, and he stuck to me like glue after that. But, I didn’t mind… he’s like a ray of sunshine after a terrible storm when he smiles at you.”
Johannes smirked and shook his head before wiping a hand down his face. “I made a terrible mistake locking him up, but I couldn’t stand the way he looked at me when I had begged him to change his mind…”
“Change his mind on what?” I asked, wanting to know more about how their relationship came to be the mess that it was now.
“He didn’t want to live as a Magus anymore. He wanted to pass on like Zella chose to and leave me. Atohi just sort of smiled and hugged me, saying that he would never truly leave me. But…”
“You felt abandoned… But why wouldn’t you set him free in all of these years?”
“It’s… it’s complicated,” was all he supplied.
I sighed in resignation. I knew he had reached his boiling point as far as sharing went. “How about we go get that ice cream?”
Chapter Fifteen
Johannes looked over at Atohi dryly. “We should have waited for Chesca to finish your clothing. Maybe I should have her make some more. Sweatpants without underwear should be outlawed in public.”
Atohi smirked and leaned back in his seat, relaxing his posture to further annoy his brother.
“It wouldn't be a bad idea. Those are the only things in my closet that came even close to fitting.” I turned to look at Johannes. “Plus I'm pretty sure everything in your closet is too fitted for him.”
With everything custom fit to his frame the way Johannes liked it, nothing would come close to fitting Atohi. Johannes was muscular, but not in the same bulky way as his brother.
Ben hummed happily, his legs swinging as he ate his sprinkle-covered ice cream.
“Does that taste good, buddy?” I swept my fingers through his hair.
“It's so good!” He was practically bouncing in his seat. Ben’s happiness could be felt a mile away.
Atohi had already devoured his and currently picked at mine with a long sundae spoon.
“What is this nonsense?” Johannes scoffed as Atohi ate another spoonful of ice cream.
“Don't be mad because she's sharing her treat with me.” Atohi winked.
Ben tugged on Johannes's sleeve. “Papa, I'll share with you.”
“Don't worry, Ben,” I said. “Your daddy and uncle just like to argue.”
“Arguing isn't nice,” he said matter-of-factly.
“That is true. You are so very smart.” He giggled as I booped his nose.
The four of us glanced up as the ice cream s
hop’s doorbell chimed. The door opened, letting in a burst of the chilled fall air, and three kids bounced inside, followed closely by Sue, who smiled and waved at me before she herded the trio toward our group. “Hey, sorry I'm late. Someone didn't want to put on pants.”
“Was it you?” I asked her, sipping my drink as I tried to hide my cheeky grin.
She clicked her tongue. “It's alarming how well you know me, not going to lie. Atohi, it’s really good to see you out and about.”
“Hey, I know you!” Ben exclaimed, then quickly hid his face behind his ice cream as if he was embarrassed by his shout.
Sue laughed. “I know you, too, Sweetie. These are my little munchkins. Darla, Jason, and Michael.” All of them greeted Ben aside from the youngest, who asked when they were going to get their own ice cream.
“Want me to help you grab the ice cream for them?” I offered as I stood up.
“If you don't mind, that would be amazing.”
“Here, Alice.” Johannes reached into his sweater pocket and pulled out his wallet, handing me a debit card. “My treat.”
“What, Johannes, that’s really—”
Sue cut my protest off, “So kind of you!”
She grabbed the card from his hand before lacing ours together to tug me towards the counter.
“So, how's that whole thing going?” Sue motioned her hand back to the table after she placed her order and handed the cashier Johannes’s card. He gave us a funny look before swiping it and giving it back. I quickly snatched it back from her.
“There's a lot of... resentment there. But, I think I was at least a little wrong about Johannes. I mean, he's still a total jerk for locking Atohi away, but I think he really is trying what he thinks is best for his child.”
Ben's eyes sparkled as he talked to Sue's kids. It made my chest ache to think this may have been the first time he was able to just hang out with kids his own age. I knew Johannes was on edge about having him out and people asking questions about it, but this was good for Ben.
“He looks so happy and innocent,” Sue sighed. “My little monsters are going to ruin him.”
Eyes Like Autumn (Seasons of the Magi Book 1) Page 18
