by T A. McKay
“Don’t worry. It can all be replaced, it’s just things. You can stay with me until it’s all replaced. We can go shopping tomorrow and get you some new clothes. Please don’t cry, Shorty, we’ll get this sorted.” I hold her tighter as I talk into her ear but her sobbing doesn’t stop. I turn her in my arms and hold her close to me as she grabs the front of my shirt, burying her face looking for comfort. I’m trying hard to keep my anger under control. After everything with my dad, I swore that I would never let my anger control me, that I would never be my dad but now I have a rage that I'm finding hard to keep buried. My only thoughts are of finding who did this to Rhys and killing them, and when I say killing them I mean it. I don’t want to hurt them or cause them pain, I want to watch their eyes as the life diminishes in them. I shake my head trying to clear my mind of these thoughts, trying to get control again. I lean away from her and wait until she meets my eyes. We need to get out of here and let the police finish what they’re doing.
“Let’s see what we can salvage and get out of here. You need some sleep and then we will sort out the rest tomorrow.” She nods at me and bites her lip, trying to hold back her tears. I see her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath and turns away, heading towards her wardrobe.
Chapter Seven
I grab the bags from the front steps, shutting the door with my foot as I walk down the hall. I walk quietly and place the bags into the spare room. Looking over at the bed I watch Rhys as she sleeps, still holding the teddy bear she picked up from the floor of her apartment. She looks relaxed now, her chest going up and down gently with her breaths. She’d fallen asleep in the taxi so I had carried her in and put her to bed. I thought she would have woken up when I lifted her but I think between the alcohol and her apartment her mind had decided to shut down and sleep. I’d removed her boots and socks, and as much as I had wanted to remove her clothes I hadn’t. I didn’t want her waking in the morning and thinking I had taken advantage of her. It’s the last thing that she needs.
I close the door quietly before making my way to kitchen. There’s no way I’d be able to sleep just now, not after everything that has happened in the last few hours. I switch the kettle on, opening the patio door to let in some fresh warm air. I lean against the doorframe and look out over the night. It’s a calm night, just a slight breeze moving the leaves on the trees. I thought earlier it might rain but it’s turned out nice. I close my eyes, trying to block out all thoughts other than the weather or anything that isn’t Rhys related. Unfortunately my brain isn’t cooperating as I picture her face as she took in her apartment. I wanted to do something, to make her feel better but there was nothing I could do to help and I felt so useless. Men aren’t very good with the emotional side of problems, we’re more practical. I will feel happier tomorrow when I can take her shopping and start replacing everything.
I’m stuck in my head, trying to plan out all the shops I need to take Rhys tomorrow when I feel a hand on my shoulder. My heart rate spikes and I feel my feet leave the ground as I spin in fright. I'm not used to someone being here with me and I didn’t expect Rhys to wake up.
“I'm sorry.” Her voice is low and she bites the inside of her cheek as she tried not to laugh at me. I place my hand over my heart and take a deep breath trying to get my heart rate to return to normal.
“Holy shit, you gave me a fright. I was miles away.” She smiles looking more relaxed than before.
“What are you doing up?” I’m shocked to see her, I honestly didn’t think she would be awake before lunchtime tomorrow.
“I thought I heard something and woke up. Once I was awake I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was a bit confused about where I was. I don’t remember getting here.” She looks around the kitchen taking it all in.
“You fell asleep in the taxi, I brought you in and put you into bed.” A small blush creeps onto her cheeks and I put my hands into the pockets of my jeans, anything to stop myself from reaching out and touching her. I don’t know why I want to feel the heat of her blush on my fingers and it unsettles me, making me restless. I walk away from her, reaching out and turning the kettle on again. I don’t know how long it’s been since it boiled, I was so stuck in my head I didn’t hear it.
“Do you want a coffee?” I reach up into the cupboard and grab two mugs. I watch her moving towards me and leaning against the unit, her hip right next to mine.
“Yeah, that would be great. I don’t see much sleep happening tonight.” She scrunches her nose up and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. She looks like she has smelt something disgusting. I distract myself by spooning coffee into the mugs and adding the now boiled water.
“Sugar and milk?” She shakes her head and reaches out for her coffee. She takes a little sip of the hot liquid before closing her eyes and sighing.
“I never understand why people that add all that crap to their coffee. You hide all the flavour and that’s the best part.” She smiles at me and I take a drink of my own black coffee. She’s right. I’ve never understood all those fancy coffees you can buy, most of them are sweet enough to melt your teeth, and don’t get me started on cold coffee.
I lean back against the worktop, crossing one foot over the other.
“So, how are you feeling?” Rhys places her cup down before jumping up to sit on the worktop. My eyes are drawn down her body until they come to rest on her bare legs. Damn, she has amazing legs. They’re toned with soft looking creamy skin, skin I want to feel against my lips and tongue. I feel my dick harden against the front of my jeans. I rub my hands down my face trying to get control of myself. I’ve been working with Rhys for a while now and I have never had a reaction like this to her before. I blame Clay. I never thought of Rhys in this way until he put the idea into my head, he made me think of her in a sexual way and then seeing her all dressed up had just put the final nail in the coffin. I open my eyes and look at her. I notice that she’s changed, she’s no longer wearing that little black skirt and half a top, she’s now in an oversized basketball t-shirt that doesn’t reach her knees. She must see the look of confusion on my face as she looks down at herself.
“What?” I meet her stare and laugh a little.
“Sorry, it’s nothing. I just noticed that you changed and I’m astounded at my own observational skills.” She laughs and the sound makes me smile bigger than I have in a while. I like to pretend to everyone that I'm a dick, that it’s best not to approach me. I don’t smile very often but around Rhys I find myself doing it more.
She looks down again and pulls at the hem of her t-shirt a little. I feel like slapping her hands away, legs like that shouldn’t be covered.
“Well my skirt and top looked like I had been wearing it a year. I thought it would be best to get changed into something more comfortable, and something that covered more.” I want to tell her that apart from the top she’d been wearing being backless, it did actually cover more but I'm scared if I mention it she will change. She starts running her hands through her hair obviously trying to calm the frizz that’s happening but it doesn’t help. She still has parts of it pinned up and it’s showing the full pink section underneath. I love the way she can look edgy and adorable at the same time, her style is a mishmash of complete opposites but on her it just works.
“Well I don’t know if I'm a fan of more coverage…but as long as you’re comfortable. So as I was trying to ask, how are you feeling?” Redness colours her cheeks again and she takes a drink of coffee. She looks at the ground and won’t meet my gaze. I mentally chastise myself, I need to watch what I say to Rhys. Flirting will not help her situation just now, and it won’t help keep my dick soft either.
“I’m not sure.” She talks to the mug in her hand, her voice quiet and level.
“I think I’m still kinda in shock. Seeing all my stuff destroyed like that, knowing someone was in my home, touching all my things is just … I don’t know. Freaky? Scary? I’m not sure how to describe it. To know that someone is so angry with me that they did
that. I think it’s scarier knowing that nothing was taken, just destroyed.” I can see her hands shaking as she thinks about her apartment, the fear showing in her body. I stand upright and grab the mug from her hands, placing it in the sink I stand in front of her, leaning my hips against her knees. I reach out and cup her face in my hands making her look at me.
“It’s just stuff. The most important thing is that you weren’t there.” I’ve been trying to block out thoughts of what would have happened if Rhys had been there when it happened. Would they have run away scared or would they have hurt her? The picture of her lying on the floor, hurt or possibly worse, makes me want to hit something or someone.
“I’ll replace everything for you, just be as happy as I am that you’re safe.” I wonder where these words are coming from, my thoughts are spewing out of my mouth and I have no control over them.
“You’re what’s important. Nothing else. We will get this sorted, okay?” I see tears forming in her eyes and she tries to blink them away but fails. I use my thumb to wipe them as they fall down her cheeks. A small intake of breath and it draws my attention to her lips. I can’t stop looking at them. They’re parted and wet, making me want to taste them. To press my lips against hers and gently slip my tongue between them.
“Gabe.” Her gentle voice breaks my focus and I look up at her, my hands still cupping her face. Her breathing has increased and I can feel her pulse racing under my fingers. I see lust in her eyes, mirroring exactly what I'm feeling.
I don’t remember moving, I didn’t consciously decide I was doing to do it but before I realise it my lips are brushing against hers and I feel her gentle gasp. Shit, I shouldn’t be doing this. There are so many reasons why this can’t happen. I'm her boss and she’s been through too much, she needs me to be a gentleman and make her feel safe. I pull back slightly and lean my forehead against hers. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. The last thing you need just now is me being an arse.” I feel her gentle laugh against my lip and I move further back before I give in to my urges again. I need to get myself under control but it’s damn hard when she’s sitting there looking as sexy as sin. My big head knows it makes sense to walk away from her, but my little head disagrees and is causing me pain as punishment. Yeah, I need to go to bed … alone.
My heart rate is racing and I can feel my palms sweating. He nearly kissed me. Gabe, my boss and friend, nearly kissed me. Like on the lips kissed me, and apparently the situation has reverted me back to thinking like a sixteen year old. I’d done well ignoring the heat he’d shown in his eyes up until he had touched me. As soon as his hands connected with my face I felt a buzzing flow through my body, feeling like I had sparks in my veins. Then he said the sweetest words. Words that made me believe that he would always be there for me and I lost a piece of my heart to him right there and then. No one has ever made me feel as safe as Gabe does. I’ve spent my life being scared of people, always wondering what they are going to do to me but not with him. He makes me let my guard down and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.
He’s backed away from me, retreating half way across the kitchen but he still looks like he wants to devour me, and I think I would let him. The thought shocks me. Just by looking at Gabe I can see he has power, that control is something he prides himself on and I shouldn’t want that. I don’t need someone who won’t let me have full power when we’re together, I should need gentle and sweet. The need I’m feeling just now is unsettling and I don’t know what to do with it. Thankfully Gabe is putting the distance between us that should be there. My head feels fuzzy and my body is tingling, it must be all the alcohol I drank earlier, it’s still flowing through my body.
“It’s okay. We just got caught up in the moment. Too much alcohol and emotions for one night. Thank you for helping me. Everything you’ve done, I don’t know how to repay you.” I wish my voice sounded stronger, not the breathy whisper that barely left my lips.
“I haven’t done anything yet, Rhys. You can thank me tomorrow night. Shit, that sounded wrong. I meant once we’ve been shopping and been back to your place and I feel like I’ve actually helped. I’ve only given you a bed to sleep in, that’s not helping.” His words come out rushed and I can tell he’s feeling awkward. I don’t want things to become weird between us, it’s not something that can happen with us working together.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t brought me here, Gabe. I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go, I don’t know anyone around here. So that simple little thing that you did, well that means more than you know.” A small smile plays at the side of his mouth and he nods his head, taking a step backwards.
“I plan on helping you more but I’m gonna head to bed now. Help yourself to anything, just look around until you find what you need.” He looks eager to leave, the awkwardness between us growing. He looks at me, and I don’t know him well enough to know what he’s thinking.
“Good night, Rhys. Sleep well.” I smile, my stomach flipping slightly at his gentle words.
“Good night, Gabe.” I watch him walk out of the room and I stay sitting where I am. I don’t want to go back to bed, scared that I will drive myself insane thinking about everything but even sitting here my mind wanders, thoughts drifting to Gabe.
I just can’t stop obsessing over how the hell had the near kiss happened? I'm not going to lie to myself, he is the sexiest man I have ever seen. He has this ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe and for some reason I find it a total turn on. He also looks like every dream man I have ever pictured all in one smoking hot body, so it was guaranteed that I would find him attractive. But that’s all it was, he was someone nice to look at, to dream about when I used B.O.B to scratch an itch. Now I can’t get my brain to stop thinking about him, feeling his hands against my face, his breath against my lips. Damn, I might need to get a new vibrator if I don’t want to spontaneously combust.
I ease myself off the worktop and walk over to the sink to wash up the mugs we used. I need something to distract me from my X-rated thoughts of Gabe. Unfortunately that leaves room for the thoughts about my apartment to filter in. I’ve been trying not to think about it because what I said to Gabe is true, I’m scared. I was so upset when I walked in the door to see every single thing I own destroyed, nothing had escaped the devastation. It was more than that though, it’s the fact everything screamed rage. No one breaks into a house to steal and go to all that trouble, taking all that time to leave so much chaos. It feels like someone hates me and I can’t think for the life of me who it could be. I know it could just be a random act of vandalism but I don’t think it was, it felt personal.
Drying my hands I walk over to the patio doors that Gabe had left open. I step out onto the grass and let the breeze drift over my body. It’s really quiet, I can see why Gabe decided to move here. I’m used to noise living in the town centre. I don’t live in the best area but once I'm in my own little sanctuary and lock my door, I feel safe, or at least I used to. I don’t know how I'm meant to go back there and still feel safe. I know from past experience that even once everything is repaired and replaced, every noise I hear will make me panic and think they have come back. I’m going to have to find a new place to live, the only problem with that is I don’t have any money. I’m barely making enough to live from one month to the next, so I haven’t been able to build up any savings.
I can’t even call my parents for help because I’ll just get the usual lecture about my behaviour. They hate the fact that I left the town I grew up in, they wanted me to stay there and get married, but I couldn’t. I left with one suitcase and one thousand pounds
in my bank account, determined to make a fresh start by myself.
I didn’t have the best school years, I went through a lot at the hands of other but at least I had a good home life. My parents weren’t perfect but they loved me the best they could and always tried to keep me safe. I love my parents and they did th
e best they could but having me later in life meant that I had a very old fashioned childhood. I think if they knew everything I had gone through they would have made themselves ill from stress. I didn’t want that so I kept everything to myself, even when Marc, Mindy’s boyfriend, attacked me and left me traumatised. I spent the last year of school terrified that he would try to finish what he started. I look to the stars in the dark sky, the memories of that day flooding my mind.
I turned off the shower and grabbed my towel. I’d always hated PE. Spending a full hour running around, trying to be co-ordinated and graceful just wasn’t my thing. I’d never been an athletic person, just the thought of doing exercise made me feel tired. That’s not what I hated about the class though, it’s that after we had ran around for an hour we have to shower before our next period. For all the other girls that is an easy enough task, but they hadn’t spent years being bullied and belittled by the ‘cool’ girls. Showering had turned into the single most traumatic experience of my entire school history. It’s wasn’t just the names and the giggles I heard when I stepped into the shower, it had progressed to them taking pictures on their phones. I don’t know what they did with them, I didn’t even want to think about who’d seen them but I’d been avoiding showering with the rest of the class for a while. I usually hid in the toilet until the changing room went quiet and then rushed to get ready.
That day I’d had a good excuse to shower after everyone else, Miss Black had needed a helper to put away the mats so I’d volunteered. It would get me a late slip and buy me some time on my own. When I walked in and saw the place empty I’d relaxed, we were the last PE lesson of the day so I knew no one would come in while I showered.
