by P. C. Cast
As he passed the Mercenary where he sat on a carved wooden bench, Nik nodded a greeting to the man. The Mercenary nodded slightly in return, his face as inscrutable as the still, yellow-eyed Lynx at his side.
Behind him the voices of the Tribe, raised in passionate discussion with his father, began to fade, eventually mixing indistinguishably with the susurrus of the night wind through the mighty pines.
“Well,” Nik said to himself. “There’s no going back from that.” And even though he was on his way to see his best friend who was dying, Nik felt as if a great burden had been lifted from his life.
* * *
The infirmary was a series of simple nests built in a circular fashion and connected by a bridge system that was wide and sturdy enough that the ill and infirm could be easily transported to and from them, even if it meant being carried on a litter. The infirmary was used for humans and canines, with no differentiation between the two, as both were of equal importance, which is why Nik saw Sheena before he found O’Bryan. He’d entered the first nest, meaning to ask the Healer on duty where he could find his cousin, to find the nest empty except for Sheena and Captain.
She’d been humming what Nik recognized as an old lullaby as she gently groomed her big Shepherd, who was lying on his side, front right leg swathed in a massive splint and bandage. Sheena looked up when he entered the nest, and her body went completely still. All color drained from her face.
Nik tried to smile, but was overwhelmed by memories of Crystal—her exuberance on the foraging trip—her kindness and humor—her love for Sheena—and, lastly, the ghastly way she had clutched Grace’s dead body as she had begged him to end her life.
“Nik? Is it really you, or did Captain and I finally die, too?”
“It’s me. And no one else is going to die.” Nik went to her and knelt next to her, locking his gaze with hers. “Can you forgive me?”
Tears filled Sheena’s eyes, but she didn’t look away from him. “Forgiveness is not needed. You did the right thing. Had we listened to you, my Crystal would be here and we would be getting ready for a new litter of puppies.” The tears overflowed, tracking down Sheena’s wan cheeks. Captain stirred restlessly then, and his Companion automatically stroked him, murmuring soothingly. When he’d quieted, Sheena motioned for Nik to follow her to the other side of the nest. “Captain hasn’t been able to sleep, so they drugged him.” Sheena kept her voice low, trying not to wake her canine. “They drugged me, too, but that’s not working so well. Every time I close my eyes I see her pull her knife from her belt and jump into that cesspool after Grace.” A tremor went through her body. “I can’t stop seeing it, and I can’t sleep.”
“She smiled at me right before I shot her.” Nik’s voice shook and he had to force himself to keep meeting Sheena’s tortured gaze. “She was holding Grace. She looked up at me—smiled, nodded, and then when it was done, she and Grace disappeared under the water together.”
Sheena reached out and grasped Nik’s hand. “Thank you for telling me. It makes it a little easier that she and Grace were together.”
“Neither of them suffered. I promise you that,” Nik said.
“Then don’t you suffer either, Nik. Crystal wouldn’t want you to, and she would have suffered, suffered greatly had you not ended it before those monsters could take her away with them.”
Nik nodded, squeezing her hand before releasing it. “How is Captain? I hear the break is pretty bad.”
“I don’t know yet. It isn’t infected, but they’re still not sure if he’ll keep the leg.” Sheena shook her head, staring at her sleeping canine. “He’s not doing well without Crystal and Grace—neither am I.”
Nik swallowed down the platitudes he’d heard so many times after his mother’s death: it’ll get easier with time, she’d want you to go on and be happy, she’s in a better place. None of those words had helped, and worse—they’d seemed to take away from the depth of his loss. So Nik said to Sheena what he’d wished someone had told him.
“You and Captain had Sheena and her Grace for a lot of years. Your love was true and strong. It’s going to be hard to live without them, and when it gets really bad, try remembering that you shared something that some people live a lifetime without experiencing. I don’t know if that’ll make it better, but it might make it bearable.”
Sheena wiped her face. “I’ll remember. I’m just not sure what to do without her.”
“You have to keep moving forward. Life will take care of the rest.” Nik glanced at the sleeping Shepherd. “So will Captain. You have each other, and that’s something worth living for.”
Sheena sobbed a little more and then Nik watched her straighten her shoulders and wipe her face again. Suddenly she seemed to really see him.
“Hey, why are you alive?”
Nik smiled. “I might be too stubborn to die.”
“No, really. What happened?”
“Healers from the Earth Walkers found me and took me in. I would be dead if it hadn’t been for them.” He paused and then added. “Earth Walkers are Scratchers.”
“I know. I’m good with growing things. Before Crystal and I started going on foraging runs I spent quite a bit of time on Farm Island. The women call themselves Earth Walkers.” Sheena leaned against the wall of the nest and crossed her arms, hugging herself as she watched her Shepherd sleep. “Did you actually stay with an Earth Walker?”
“Yep, with two. They’re Healers. That’s why I’m alive. They pulled out the spearhead and stitched me up.”
“No sign of the blight?”
“None,” Nik said.
“What did you think of the Earth Walkers?”
“They surprised me. One of them I liked. One wanted to kill me, so it was harder to like her.”
“I’ve always wondered what they’re like in the wild. They’re so sad on the island, but sometimes—not often, but sometimes—I caught a glimpse of something different in them. When they’re first captured they weave mats and baskets and such—you know, things that would make those floating cages they’re housed in at night more homelike than jail-like. It doesn’t last, though. They fall into the melancholy fast and stop doing anything except tending the crops during the day and weeping inconsolably at night.”
Nik studied her, and then took a chance. “What if I told you they’re completely different in the wild? That it’s the captivity that makes them melancholy and kills them.”
Sheena glanced at him, and for a moment Nik saw a spark of interest in her despair-filled eyes. “I’d say that doesn’t surprise me. Not everyone in the Tribe believes they’re helpless idiots, especially those of us who have spent time on Farm Island.” She shrugged, and the spark died. “But what can we do? The blight makes working in the fields a death sentence.”
“Change isn’t easy,” Nik said as his mind whirred with possibilities.
Sheena looked at him. “You’re different than you used to be.”
He nodded.
“Is that going to be a good or bad thing?” She sounded like she was musing aloud, rather than asking him a question, but Nik answered.
“I can’t tell yet. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
“That’s a deal. Hey, you should know that Thaddeus came back changed, too, though I’m pretty sure his change is more bad than good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s never been very likable, but since he and Odysseus made it back from the ambush, his attitude has been even worse than what was normal for him. Whatever he saw, whatever happened, it took away any kindness he might have had before. He’s mean, and angry. All the time. And he hates you, Nik. Watch out for him.”
“I will. Thanks for the warning.”
“If you ever need anything, come to me, Nik. I owe you.”
“No you don’t!”
She rested her hand on his arm. “Yes, Crystal and I do. Your cousin is in Nest Three. You know he’s bad off, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“I’m sorry,” Sheena said. Then her lips tilted up ever so slightly. “Change is hard.”
“It is.” He smiled sadly at her. “Sheena, try to let go of that picture of Crystal, and get some sleep. Captain needs your strength.”
Sheena nodded. “I’ll try.” Then she walked wearily back to Captain’s bedside. Just before Nik left the nest she called, “I’m glad you came back.”
“I’m glad you did, too.”
Nest Three was across the platform, and Nik was there in seconds. He stood outside the opening, breathing deeply of the night air and reminding himself that whatever he saw inside—however bad it was with O’Bryan—Mari could heal him. Mari would heal him.
He stepped in the nest. The fetid stench of advanced blight was so thick that he could taste it. The smell brought back memories of his mother’s painful last days and he had to steady himself to keep from either running from the nest or gagging. It seemed like a very long time, but it could have only been seconds when a Healer approached him.
“How may I help—” Her eyes widened in surprise as she recognized Nik. “Nikolas! You’ve returned. Are you injured? Do you need care?”
Nik took her offered hand, smiling with sincere warmth. Kathleen was the oldest of the Healers, and Nik thought she was also the kindest. She’d been at his mother’s side when she died, and he would forever be grateful for the gentle care she’d given her.
“Kathleen, I’m fine. I’m here to see O’Bryan.”
The old Healer frowned up at him, and the grizzled Terrier that was never far from her mimicked her expression so completely that Nik almost laughed.
“Fine? How could that be? Sheena said you were speared and sucked into the run-off.”
“That’s true, but I was also tended by a great Healer, so I’m fine.”
“Healer? From what Tribe? How?”
“Not Tribe, Clan. Earth Walkers tended me,” Nik said, and then waited for the old woman’s reaction.
“Scratchers?” She looked completely mystified.
“Earth Walkers,” Nik corrected.
“Nik?”
He looked around Kathleen at the sound of his name to see O’Bryan trying to struggle to a sitting position. Nik hurried to him.
“Cuz, how are you feeling?”
“Nik! It is you. Thought you were part of my dream.”
Kathleen pulled a chair next to O’Bryan’s pallet and motioned for Nik to sit before whispering, “Don’t stay long. He hasn’t much strength.” Nik nodded absently and took the seat, leaning in so that he could catch his cousin in a hug.
Nik was shocked to feel O’Bryan’s bones through his tunic, and when he lay back on the pallet, he saw that his face had taken on the bloodless blue tinge that signaled his death was frighteningly close.
“I hope it was a good dream.”
O’Bryan smiled up at him. “It is now.” He clutched his cousin’s hand. “I can’t believe you’re here. They said you were dead.”
“I almost was.” He leaned forward and dropped his voice, even though Kathleen had moved to the other side of the large nest to tend the patients there. “Listen to me. I have to say this fast. She found me—the girl on fire.”
“What!”
“Sssh!” Nik hissed. “Her name is Mari. The pup was with her, just as we suspected. He’s chosen her.”
“Like she’s a Companion?” O’Bryan’s eyes were fever bright, but his mind was still sharp.
“She’s part Companion. Her father was one of us.” Nik made a sharp gesture to cut off O’Bryan’s instant questions. “I’ll explain everything later. All that’s important now is getting you well.”
“Cuz, I’m dying. Everyone knows it. There’s nothing that can be done. I’m so glad you’re here, though. Will you stay with me when I drink the monkshood?”
“You won’t be drinking that damned monkshood. And you will be healed and whole again.” Nik leaned closer so that O’Bryan wouldn’t miss anything he said. “There was a spearhead buried in my back and my leg was slashed open. Blight set in yesterday.” Moving carefully, Nik lifted his pant leg and pulled the bandage aside so that O’Bryan could see the pink, healing flesh.
His cousin’s brow furrowed. “But there’s no sign of blight.”
“Exactly. And yesterday putrid ulcers covered the wound.”
“Then it couldn’t have been the blight,” O’Bryan said.
“Oh, it was the blight. I’m positive about it. O’Bryan, Mari healed it. And she’s going to do the same for you.”
O’Bryan stared up at him disbelievingly. “Now I know I’m dreaming.”
Nik grinned. “Leave everything to me. All you need to do is not tell anyone, and I mean anyone. And be ready to get out of here.”
“Nik, I can’t do much walking.” O’Bryan moved the blanket that covered the bottom half of his body. His right leg was elevated and swathed in bandages from his knee down. His naked thigh was dusky and swollen to twice it size.
Gently, Nik pulled the blanket back over his cousin’s ruined leg.
“It was a good idea, though,” O’Bryan said. “It just didn’t come in time.”
“You’re not giving up because I’m not giving up. If you can’t go to her, Mari’s going to have to come to you,” Nik said.
“I know my thinking isn’t too clear anymore, but how is that ever going to happen?”
“I’m going to trade a life for a life—that’s how.”
41
“Isn’t it strange that something as important as sleep is taken for granted so easily—until you don’t have enough of it?” Mari rested her head against the side of the burrow and closed her eyes in exhaustion.
“Sorry, did you say something? I was asleep.”
Mari opened her eyelids a crack and shared a tired smile with Sora. “You did it all by yourself tonight.”
Sora’s smile brightened, making her weariness fade and her beauty blaze. “I was spectacular.”
“If you do say so yourself?”
“Well, if you’re not going to say it, I certainly will.”
“You were good tonight—really good. Spectacular even,” Mari said. Her gaze went to the pallet that used to hold Nik, but now was a temporary home to the small, sleeping form of Danita. “Her body will heal. It’s her mind I’m worried about.”
“Did Leda write anything in her journals about helping with something like what’s happened to Danita?”
“Rape. Let’s call it what it is. Danita was raped.”
“It’s an ugly word,” Sora said.
“Then it fits the deed.”
Sora shook her head. “Things can’t stay like this. We have to do something.”
“We are. Danita’s body is healing. You’ve Washed her with the moon tonight. I’ll look through Mama’s journals. I’m sure there is something I can brew that’ll help her mind recover, too.”
“I don’t mean something has to be done with Danita. I’m talking about the males. You heard them tonight. They’re close again. Too close.”
Mari sat up a little straighter and put another log on the hearth fire. “I heard them.”
“They need to be Washed. There’s no reasoning with them until they’re free of the Night Fever.”
Mari stared at Sora. “No.”
“No? What are you talking about? Of course they need to be Washed.”
“I’m not doing it.”
“But Mari—”
“You saw what they did to Danita! They brutalized her. She’s torn, bloody, and bruised. Sora, she has bite marks on her breasts and thighs. They’re animals, and they need to be put down.”
“They’re only like that because their Moon Woman died! If we Washed them they would go back to being normal.”
“And then what? Once they’re normal again are they going to just live with what they’ve done?” Mari said.
“Maybe it’s a burden they should bear forever, but they shouldn’t be left to grow madder and madder—and not
only because it has to be terrible for them.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand how you can show so much compassion for someone like Nik, whose people have killed and enslaved us for generations, but you aren’t willing to help the men of our Clan.”
“I’m from both, Companions and Earth Walkers. Sora, I’m doing my best to figure out where I fit in. Maybe I’m wrong, but what they did to Danita is so terrible, I just don’t have any desire to help them,” Mari said.
“I hear you, and the men are dangerous, but they don’t seem to be moving on from here like the rest of the Clan. Something has to be done about them. Are you willing to track them and kill them?”
Mari grimaced. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, good. So, we have the ability to help them. Let’s help them,” Sora said.
“You’re ready, you know. You’re strong enough now to Wash them by yourself.”
Sora caught Mari’s gaze and held it. “I’m afraid of them.”
“That’s smart.”
“Will you please come with me? Help me to help them?”
“Sora, I don’t want to be Moon Woman,” Mari said.
“But you are!”
“No, I’m not!”
Sora and Mari glanced at the pallet, but Danita had fallen into a deep, exhausted sleep and she didn’t so much as twitch.
“I’m not,” Mari insisted, lowering her voice.
“Why do you hate the Clan so much?” Sora asked bluntly.
Mari opened her mouth to deny it, but stopped herself. Slowly, thinking aloud, she tried to answer Sora honestly. “Because I’ve never been a part of the Clan—never been accepted by them. Mama had to keep me at a distance. Sora, for as long as I can remember, I’ve hidden who I really am and known that if I don’t hide and disguise myself and lie, Mama and I could pay for it with our lives.”
Sora turned to face her. “Danita accepted you today without any problem. She even petted your creature and said the fur around his neck was as soft as a rabbit—which I find hard to believe, but it was nice of her to say. Did you ever think that maybe you and Leda made too much of your differences, and not enough of your similarities with the Clan?”
