Two of Hearts

by Alexa Jackson

  With the help of Austin, I put Benjamin in baby chair and hold the belt. As he said he does not mind, I decide to go in the back seat. All the way, I lock the bad things that are happening and I dedicate all my attention to the baby, talking to him all the time. Maybe all mothers say: He's so smart and attentive to everything around them.

  The room was all ready for him. The white crib beside my bed, dozens of toys scattered on the floor and the rocking horse made by Austin, now painted and polished.

  - Look at him for me, Lola? - I ask how the Accommodotrainer and put the mobile to rotate. Immediately the curious eyes are focused on the toy.

  - Not that you did not ask me - Lola uses the cradle to support, which is admired Benjamin.

  In the living room, and Austin, is the Cooper researcher and a younger man, tall and fair-haired. The two are standing. Austin across the room, also standing, but his arms folded, staring at the two as if they had some contagious disease. At times like this, I understand the complaints of Julienne. They take this protection very seriously, after all, even if I also did not go with the face of Mr. Cooper, it's the police. What harm could do to me?

  Unlike them, I walk up to a chair and sit. I'm worried about my friends, because that's how I think, but I have nothing to hide.

  - Miss Walker, worked for Mr. Durant, was not it?

  - Yes, sir, for almost two years.

  - You know what happened to the Durant family, is not it?

  - Unfortunately I know, yes - my mouth trembles. It's not fair that this happened to them. Sophia looked for the finish we had, it was always a real snake with Neil and Anne But Jenny had nothing to do with it. They are making a terrible mistake.

  - That the justice that will resolve, Miss - he says with an expression that does not give any credit to what I said - But escape was a bad idea. He has been in contact with Mrs Durant in the last days?

  - No.

  - You have not seen or talked to them after it happened?

  - No.

  The questions are repeated one after another. The shape changed, but the question was the same: if I was covering up for them.

  - You do not mind if we look around the farm, is not it? - The question is polite, but I feel the threatening tone in his eyes - after all, it is a large farm. The couple may have been remembering that you came here. There are many places to hide and no one suspected.

  - Mr have a warrant? - Austin walks up to me, his cold, dangerous look - My father was sheriff of the county, my brother is the current sheriff, I know I can not do what you want.

  - Leave it, Austin -safe his hand - We have nothing to hide, let them prove with their own eyes.

  He nods, but I see the way he tenses his shoulders, which is not even a little comfortable with the situation.

  Almost two hours later, Cooper and his companion leave, dissatisfied with the result that obviously did not please them. I say a silent prayer that Jenny and Neil are well. I think she's about to give birth. I think of my own birth in how difficult it was. Even being in a hospital, Benjamin ran serious risks. That Jenny has more luck and calm than me.

  ****

  A week passed. Benjamin is definitely a special baby. Everyone in the house are passionate about it. There are even fights to stay with him. And as I speak to stay in someone's lap for a long time will leave you spoiled, no one cares.

  Today is more quiet. Austin and Raul were the city to buy supplies for the farm. Charlotte is in the kitchen with Juanita, the cook, trying to learn a new recipe. Benjamin and I are in the room, passing the time.

  He's in makeshift playpen I did to him, several teddies around the carpet, while I tell a children's story.

  It took three hits on the phone for me to realize it was my phone ringing on the table. Rarely get calls, I have just received from Julienne, but she has preferred to speak for messages. I downloaded the Whatsaap, so always send photos and videos of Benjamin for her.

  - Hello - I answer with voice a little accelerated.

  - Penelope?

  My heart took a giant leap in the chest, and for a few seconds, even forgot to breathe. I always recognize that voice. And there were many times I wondered if, in addition to all the physical, Benjamin also the father would inherit that voice.

  - Adam?

  - Do you have a minute?

  I shake my head yes, then remember that we are on the phone.

  - Si-im - dry swallow - Sure.

  I sit on the same floor, because at this point, my legs are unable to support myself. Had he read the letter? Is he sorry and has finally want to know the child?

  I can not help tears slipping from my eyes. Even though I denied, I wanted this for a long time. I still have in mind take Benjamin to meet his mother's family, but if Adam anticipate the subject, feel less guilty and embarrassed by months they were unaware of his existence.

  - I promise I'll be fast - I hear the light uncomfortable throat clearing - I must know what happened to Neil and Jenny?

  - Yes, I know - I say with regret in my voice - I know she's innocent.

  - I'm relieved to think so. That's why I'm calling.

  - As?

  You know when you're a kid and see that wonderful chocolate cake on the table and his mother comes with the dish of something you hate most to eat? Not quite what I feel, though like, my disappointment is much greater.

  - I'm not able to handle everything - he laments - Try to find a way to help Jenny, dealing with DET, and Aline has not been of great help. You know the company as well as Neil. I can not waste time, if I want to help them ...

  - Let me see if I understand -digo, trying to control the trembling in my voice - You want me to come back to help the company? For nothing?

  The silence lasts a little more than ten seconds, and these meager seconds, I have hopes.

  - Why else should I? - No hesitation in his voice, certainly for fear that I interpret your request otherwise - I need you here, Penelope.

  - You know things are different now ...

  - We give a way. If you do not do it for me, do it for Jenny, please.

  I have a great affection for Neil, and I love Jenny. If it were in other circumstances, I'm sure we would be great friends. Our babies grow together, be friends. But life and its tragedies have befallen us. I still have a lot of luck. After all, Benjamin is on my side. Jenny had separated from Anne, and the risk of losing their children.

  But I need to think about Ben. Dr. Ritter said he needs care. I do not know if you give permission for me to travel with him. And without my son I'm not going anywhere.

  - I need to think. I can not decide so.

  - I understand - the disappointment is clear - If you decide to come let me know, then. Penelope?

  - Yes.

  - They need us.

  They were his last words to shut down.

  They need us.

  - We also need, is not it, Benjamin? - Caught the baby in my lap, only he can allay this burning pain in my chest - We also need.

  ****

  Dr. Ritter gave permission for we traveled. It would be a short trip, and since I had some care, there would be no problem. He also gave copies of the clinical status of Benjamin, as I informed him that he did not know when he would return to the doctor who followed me early in my pregnancy could accompany him while I'm there.

  Not called Adam saying he was going, I'd rather tell you when you're there. As much as I know you are doing the right thing, I'm still hesitant with the decision I made. Maybe it's the fear of see him again. That the love I felt for him back in full force. Or, worse, that the neglect of the child hurt me even more. One thing is for me to be aware of it while he was just a fruit growing in my womb, and another to have it real in my arms. But what Adam said is right. Neil needs me, I can not turn my back on sometime.

  So God help me endure whatever comes ahead.

  - We'll miss you - Charlote speech, holding the weeping.

  - You can come back whenever you want - Uncle Raul does
face tough, but I see her teary eyes.

  - I'll send the horse in the mail, he likes to see rock - Austin murmurs, also pretending to be strong.

  - Take good care of him, Penny - mutters Clyde.

  Everyone came to the airport except Dallas; he fired on the farm. He said he had accumulated paperwork, but the way it came out made it clear that, in fact, he wanted to avoid a scene.

  - Thank you to all of you - I'm the one who does not mind crying.

  I have much to thank them all. I came here completely lost and broken. Their own way, each one was responsible for me being full today. Never will I have enough words to thank.

  - Austin, install the damn Whatsaap on your phone - kiss his cheek.

  I'm going to the side of Clyde and do the same: - And you, buy a phone or learn to use Skype.

  At this point, Charlotte is clinging to Raul, no longer restrains his emotions.

  - I promise to call whenever, Charlote - she snuggles in the baby and back to sob - Thank you, Raul. Thank you for being a father when I needed.

  There is a hug together. In this embrace, I feel how much I and my son are loved. No matter what happens, I always have a home to return. House have anywhere but home only have those who love us.

  The parting was painful. I know, in a way, the presence of Ben there was supplying the longing they felt the Julienne. I feel terrible for even if it is for a good intention, I am taking it from them.

  Once the plane lands, I say a prayer that I have made the right decision.

  I find Julienne waiting at arrivals. Her hair is shorter, but it is still beautiful.

  - I do not believe you're back! - Julienne hugs me and takes the baby from my arms - Welcome.

  I thank the employee who helped me with the suitcase and we looking for a taxi.

  Back in New York. Respiro all the vivacity that is here. The first time I was here I was a lonely and disappointed girl. Now I am a woman, mother, and with new hope.

  ****

  Julienne breaks my bags while I suck for Benjamin. That's the best part of my day; the moment we are exchanging feelings. We improvise a playpen on the bed, so he falls asleep, put it there. I leave the door open to listen to any movement coming from the room and I join Julienne in the kitchen. She's making a snack with turkey breast and cheese for both of us.

  - How are things here?

  She shrugged and delivery my plate.

  - Why did not you tell me that your Liam was my Liam?

  She's upset.

  - First I would have to know that your Liam was my Liam - defend myself - For some time now not tell me anything.

  She plays in the chair opposite me, his gaze focused on empty.

  - I'm in love ... -abro his mouth, but it prevents me with uplifted hand I utter any word. - It's not a juvenile infatuation or a whim. After you left, I had to turn me alone. My option, I know, but I had.

  I feel bad for leaving her here. As my parents controlassem my life, I have always been on their own; Julienne no, she was overprotected. It must have been hard to face the madness that is New York.

  - He clearly told me that does not support liars. I think it must be because of the former fiancee of his brother. Or because he simply does not support it. The truth is that began as an innocent lie, and when I saw ... - she holds the crying - then have you, Benjamin. He will not forgive me.

  Something told me, the day I saw them at that party, that it would not work. After that, I went to the farm, Julienne more evasive, and I worried about my broken collar parts.

  - About Benjamin, I know I was wrong - suddenly lost the food appetizing appearance. Pull away the plate to the other side - About Liam, he's a nice guy. Whatever you have done, he will forgive.

  - You will forgive Adam?

  If I would forgive him? That is a question that I have done since I set foot in the airport.

  I do not have an answer yet.

  ****

  I look at the sky. The huge skyscraper receive me with the same magnificence of the first time I saw him. But there is in me a different nervousness of my first day of work. I feel like I'm the same, but at the same time, different.

  - Good morning, Miss Walker - Hugh, one of the receptionists, greets me.

  - I came to talk to you Crighton.

  Repent immediately have not warned to Adam that I am already in the city. Knowing all the protocol that is in the company, I will have to wait at least fifteen minutes to be allowed to rise.

  - Come in - surprise, I see him give me the business card - is always welcome, miss.

  I would like to say that, in times of crisis like this, every care with security would be little. But his intentions are good, or is on standby. So usufruo of his kindness and move on.

  - Thank you, Hugh.

  Along the way against several colleagues. They all show happy to see me. They ask if I came back definitely, but I preferred to leave open response. I did not know I was so wanted and that was really left many friends behind.

  Review my room brings me joy and a nostalgic feeling. I remember every detail of it. Although some things have changed, as I: the Bonsai that I had won a customer satisfied with my work and, on the table that had been mine, is Aline grumbling against the computer.

  Some things do not change.

  - Hi Aline.

  She startled, her hand to her chest.

  - What do you do here? - The tone of his voice expressing surprise and discontent in your face - You went away.

  - But I came back, I need me here.

  - Who said that? - His tone is debauchery.

  I know she must be feeling threatened. But I did not come to steal her place again, as you think. Quite the opposite. Before coming, Dallas offered a job on the farm to manage all the paperwork late that they do not realize, since the old family died counter. My plan is, so you can go back to Texas and raise my son alone.

  Before I can answer your question ferina, a deep voice sounded behind me.

  - I asked - Adam talk to her, but around me, I see that your eyes are fixed on me - I actually begged to come.

  Shit. I had forgotten how beautiful he was, and blocked this information. Despite me look slimmer, it is still the same sexy man I knew.

  I force my heart to stop pounding as if Ringo Star was dictating the pace.

  - For what? - She insists - she should not know more work. Have more important things to worry about, is not it?

  - I do not think much has changed, Aline. And this is an important issue, as many I have in my life ...

  - That's none of your business! - Adam looks angry at her, that cowers in place. I've seen him angry, but he is the point of strangle her - Let's go to the Neil room.

  If looks could kill, as they say, my family would be arranging the funeral. But I do not care. I stopped to cringe under the gaze of anyone, my son needs a strong woman.

  - Oh, give me your coat.

  - Thank you - I'm rubra.

  It's too silly to bother me with it, but I had not fully recovered my body before pregnancy. If he noticed, I do not know, because when the icy fingers touch my neck accidentally to take off his coat, and his warm breath on top, make my skin crawl. All I can think about is the vertigo that little touch caused me.

  Lord, with a simple touch of fingers I get completely out of me, what would I do if he kissed me?

  I shake my head, startling those thoughts. It took ten minutes next to him and I'm already thinking about kissing him.

  - Please sit.

  Accommodotrainer me in the chair indicated by him, across the table. I'm nervous. I notice that he is nervous, the way he fervently scratches his eyebrow. I wonder if Benjamin also will inherit him this nervous tic.

  - Neil would be happy to know that ...

  - A shame what happened to Jenny .... - speak together.

  I shut eye for the phone on the table. I need one to look. That's not the part I should be angry? However, I do not know what to say. I'm nervous, as if this was my first job
interview, that you have all the conviction that will change your life and you would do anything for the opportunity. Not when Neil interviewed me was so restless. And, in case I decide that if I want to stay or not. The decision is in my hands. So why do I feel as if the way to the canyon?

  - The ladies - it gives me the word, with a barely contained smile.

  This is wrong. It was not to stay playing seduction. We've been through this. We have a son who, by the way, he makes a point to ignore.

  - I need to say this - spinning around the room - This situation is not permanent. I'll stay until Neil back or need me.

  - All right - he says, neutral, impassive.

  - I also can only get part-time - still punctuating my requirements - You must understand, in the morning is better, do not know how it was with Katty, but in the morning things are calmer ...

  I'm running over me in words. Think of leaving Benjamin, even for a short time, cut my heart.

  - As? - It seems confusing, air - Whatever you want. Took turns times. I dedicate myself to the case of Neil in the morning and evening.

  - Do you think they will come out of this? - I ask worried.

  - We are working hard to do.

  I can not help but be sad. I think of Jenny. Two simple girls who fell in love with two men with so many demons to exorcise. Our lives were marked and changed dramatically.

  - And Anne?

  He picks up a frame with her picture. The look is sweet. In the same way that touches me, cause me revolt.

  - Not you...

  - I have given the support that I can - again talk together - It's hard to keep it protected from all the gossip, but she really misses the parents and do not understand anything.

  My heart contracts. Neil and Anne not only love, they love it. I made sure to return.

  - Then it's settled, well - he seems eager - starts tomorrow?

  - Yes, as soon as I get back to acquaint me of the routine, it is best - get up and I rushed to my married.

  It's not that I'm afraid it back to touch me, I want it too much to the disappointment that not happen shake me.

  He opens the door. His other hand is clenched in a fist. Is tense, it is palpable. There is an electrical load. Desire and levitating anxiety around us. That has not changed at all with the distance and the time we were away.