Yes. It is as if I had known two different men in one body. A cheerful and hard-partying and a bitter and distant that he had become.
- I enjoyed myself a lot with my friends, drank too much, and his mother and I had just fighting a lot. That day, that meeting at home, it was my farewell. I wanted to change. Be a better father to you and Cory.
He rubs his face, and I realize how hard it is for him to open as well.
- For a parent to lose a child is a terrible thing. He passed this fear these days - he stares at me and I see great suffering in your soul - Being causing the death of this child is a pain that never ends ...
- But was not your fault - I hasten to say - It was an accident. Just as I have no guilt for not having shouted in time. I was just a frightened child.
- I was drunk daughter. I did not see you there, and luckily I did not take your life as well. I could never forgive myself for it.
In life, we see things from our point of view and forget that there is the other also.
- When the doctor gave the assurance that Cory was dead, I felt I was going crazy. I went back to drinking as ever. Even my sister intervene and take me to Alaska. I met a God who could forgive me, even with all that I did, as having taken the life of an innocent, if I repent me and change. And I wanted to change. I needed forgiveness. But what I did was confuse things; I saw only rules and doctrines. Just what was right. I forgot the love and grace. I have become increasingly firm and strict.
It was a big change that I did not understand and I had to adapt.
- I did not want to miss with you exactly nothing. So it was more stringent still. It's no excuse, now I see it.
He raises his hand in an apology.
- I started to get involved more and more with the church. City moved around in the city, and where we were going, via young people missing. When we got Edgardtown, nothing was different. So I believed that could change young people.
He smiles, as if to laugh own idealism.
- When parents Maxwell suggested that stay engaged and that this alliance would be good for everyone in the city, I thought it would work. He needed someone like you beside him. That's what I believed at first.
- I did not love Max, father - think about how I would be unhappy with it, and I appreciate that he had done what he did - would have been a mistake.
- I know that now. When he abandoned you, I felt you had betrayed all our faith reposed in you. I realized how he had grown up and become beautiful. But believed that it would maintain its pure integrity. See, I could only see the right and wrong. And when I met that night, and fled after Maxwell when I saw all those people whispering and laughing at you, I felt that I failed. And my biggest failure was not staying at his side. I regret very much.
I suffered with their reaction to all that happened. As if the fault had been mine, but, however, if it were different, I would not have come to New York. Adam had not known and would not be as happy as I am today. Even having faced so many obstacles to be together.
- You've got to want to be heard, and I refuse to admit how wrong I was. I was a deaf refusing to listen. I wanted to save other young people, other people, and it was my little girl for help.
He smiles to himself. The smile is just on his lips.
- When Adam entered the church facing me, saying that I was buried alive and how much he loved you, I began to realize that he was right - he says in a soft voice - I killed Cory and was killing you. But even so, he refused to admit. I left to go away, with the certainty that sooner or later would regret. This never happened. You're very strong. Courageous, and even if he could not admit, I was proud of you.
- She?
I always thought it was a shame for them. Someone they could look bad.
- I felt, daughter! - He emphasizes - the same time felt contempt for me. All I preached and believed was distorted in the perfect man who would be required and others.
Why we never had this conversation before? Why I was not as strong as it says I was and did not demand that we should be as open as now?
- I do not think I've been so strong father - dry the tears that tried to contain and now freely down through my eyes - I just ran away.
- No, you faced life - it touches my face - When I said I was pregnant, I had to leave the table. Not because he was mad at you, but because they had grown. I felt I had lost my little girl ...
He looks at my mother before continuing. She's looking at his hands or the floor, do not know.
- I knew what his mother said. She interpreted my reaction erroneously. After you left that way. I knew it was too much for you to forgive. Still I tried, weeks later. Julienne said you had gone, and, well, she never liked me much. Can you imagine what you told me.
Julienne never told me about it. Maybe you are trying to avoid further hassles for me. And she never really was one fan of my parents. However, she redeemed herself to warn them about Ben.
- Sometimes linked to Raul and wondered how you were. I knew his health was delicate. I preferred to stay away, watching.
- I should have gone, Dad - tell him his voice choked with emotion - Do not know how I felt alone. I needed my parents to me.
Not a complaint or accusation. It is a statement of fact. It would have been much easier to know that my father still loved me.
- Sorry, daughter - he regrets - I thought I had no right. I did not deserve it.
So much time lost by pride, fear and misunderstanding.
- When Adam sent that video, I made the decision that had already been thinking for a long time: win his forgiveness and love back. I know it's a good person. Better than me. And the baby is so beautiful. I fell in love with it the moment I saw. I just remember having cried so much when Cory died. I did not hesitate a single moment to come apply for the transplant. I thought that would be my chance to redeem myself - he smiles, really this time - but that boy would not leave, is not it? I even tried to convince him to do in his place, hours before surgery. I almost got sent off kicks. There is no doubt how much Adam loves you both.
Adam did not tell me that. It must have been when I consult Katty about surgery.
- You think we can start over? I can go back to your father?
- It has always been my father - I touch his chest - Maybe he lost here. I'm glad he came back.
When we hugged, I feel like that little girl in her lap again. We retrace our connection. Best of all is to know that Benjamin will have one more person who loves you.
- Well ... Hmm - he cleared his throat to let me - I'll take a shower. I think you two need to talk too.
It indicates my mother and disappears through the door. A long, awkward silence settles between us.
- Mother? - I decide to start the conversation - you tell me something?
Instead of speaking, she falls into a compulsive crying. I can not watch her cry so, then the way to her and hug.
- All right, Mom. You do not have to say anything. Let's start over as Dad said.
She keeps me gently, but look at me steady.
-. No, I need to say - his voice is almost a mumble - I feel very sorry. His father had all those reasons to be like it was. And I can not even use this crutch. I was a bad mother, even before Cory die. My world was her father; make it grow.
I do not think well of it. That tragedy changed all of us.
- I've always been very influenced and lost in life. I thought love a rich and important man, who really just used me and married another of his class. I was pregnant, I met your father ...
- Oh, my God, I am not the daughter ...
- Calm! Is not it. I lost that baby. But his father would have been with myself if I had not lost - she smiles, nostalgic - Took care of me. He was nobody. Just a simple man, but he loved me. I fell madly, months after you were born, then came the Cory. But marriage is not always a bed of roses. And I wanted more, demanded more from his father. Maybe if I had not pushed so much, Cory today ...
- We all blame for the death of Cory - I
stop it - but no one's fault.
- Today I know that. It was not easy, however. You were still a child when it happened, I tried to save her as I could. I just was afraid that at some point, I would lose his father too. I was afraid he would drink and drive, you pick up a gun and shoot against him, or exaggerated and slipped into a coma. I loved him very much. So when he moved, I accepted as it was then. I never objected anything because I was afraid to come back to what it was. Attached to all this, I forgot you, daughter, who also needed me.
I remember that at that time was the time when I was more with Lola. I thought my parents were so sad to me that could not even look me in the eyes.
- Have you ever been so obedient and loving - it smoothes my hair - continued to be, but now I realize it was not happy. It was withdrawn, and believed it was due to the death of Cory, but not suffocate you. I focused both his father and left aside.
I do not know what to say. Apart from that, I am immersed in this sea of confessions, repressed feelings and regrets.
- I realized how the girls in church disdained you - she confesses - In the background was pure envy. As his father said, she was a beautiful young woman could choose the man she wanted. At the same time, it was so innocent that. So when she became engaged to Maxwell, I felt vindicated, double. There was a feeling nothing Christian, is not it? But we were somehow making the change and shutting the mouth of all.
- No, I was not really a Christian sense - I agree about that part - but I think now I can kind of understand.
- Revenge is a dangerous thing. I wanted to prove myself, to that ex-boyfriend and the whole city that had value. Then Max was a coward. We turned comments throughout the city, and his reputation was tarnished. It was worse than what happened to me.
I know how people can be petty and cruel. I felt the skin it.
- When Adam made that statement, and Harriet all poisonous came to say that he was rich and important, I saw that it was over. That would shut up all that spoke of you in the back. And I saw how he loved you. And like his father missed him. I missed you.
She returns to sob.
- I always spoke to him about you. I researched his family and reinforced upon his father. I knew he was giving. So I invited her for Christmas. When he arrived alone and on top pregnant, I was in shock. James was very upset with what I told you. We weeks without us talking. I saw it something I've never seen: contempt.
- Mother I...
- Let me finish. I suggested that this baby because I thought even if he was wrong and some scoundrel who tricked. I thought you could start over.
- I understand everything, Mom - I try to control the weight of the accusation in my voice, but it is very difficult - have less suggested to my son. With or without Adam, it was the best thing that happened to me. Even if he had been the son of a relationship with a married man, as you thought. It was my son.
She shakes her head, accepting all that play on it.
- As I said, I have no excuse or justification for this. If it's something I regretted at the time said and threw me the truth in the face. But did so angry and hurt that I could not explain to me later. Also could not explain my shameful behavior. You were right. I was more worried about what people would say than your happiness. I can only say I'm sorry and I hope that someday can forgive me.
I can forgive, as long as it is sincere.
- You are here because you love me or because I will marry a wealthy and influential man?
down, but I need to make sure blow.
- I love you, daughter - she makes cry - probably in a way lopsided, but love. I do not want to get away from you and Benjamin, but I'll understand if that's what you want.
I remember what Adam told me once, and I will repeat it.
- Love has an ugly side too - embrace the strong - It is up to us to make it better.
All the cards were laid on the table. It's time to leave the past finally back.
****
It's been three days since I have been following the home and hospital routine and vice versa. Not that I complain. Adam and Benjamin are good, and the recovery of both is excellent. In two days, my love can come home with me. And Ben within ten days.
My concerns have now returned to my new puppy and marriage.
- What's it? - Adam asks to observe my serious face - What concerns?
- Is nothing. My parents are gone now, because they want to stay longer after our wedding. And I think of nonsense.
He pulls me closer to him in bed. No nurse come in and see us or so it would take another scolding. His fault, of course. I'm just a pregnant, defenseless woman who is unable to resist the sexiest man in the world.
- Tell me what it is? - He insists - I need to think of other things.
I know this hoarsely. He is excited and frustrated to have repressed our sexual life. When we get home, I'll give a nice surprise to him.
- I was thinking of our house. When the baby is born, we will need more space.
- Let's find another house before that.
- But I like that house - I say sorry - We're so happy there. We can not do a makeover or something necessary? We still have so much space.
- And what do you want? - He squeezes my fingers through it - then we tear it down and build another if necessary. I'll talk to Richard later.
I'm still excited, telling him everything he wanted to do. Even add a tree house as he, Liam and Katty had.
We returned to make plans. The dream of the future. Knowing that we can face together any problems that arise.
What it did not take long to happen, with the visit of Peter.
- I have a not very pleasant news to - start he looked at me - Why do not you sit down, Penelope?
Cogito or the possibility of protest. Days were so difficult and exhausting. And I have a great suspicion that he is about to drop a bomb.
- I already know who was Allyson - this time he sees Adam in bed - Actually, who is Allyson.
Adam had told me about the person who had been Nathan's accomplice against us, in order to separate us and put an end to it. We had tried not to think that there is still the danger lurking around our lives. But it exists.
- Who? - I ask Peter - Who is this Allyson?
The right question should be: what she wants and you hate us so much?
Chapter 52
Adam
That was the worst time for me to have some information about Allyson. Not when I'm stuck in this hospital bed, unable to defend my family.
Risking me or not, I would have to find a way to keep them safe from any threat that it could cause.
- Who is she, anyway?
- Allyson Hale - it delivers an envelope - Known to all as Aline Furlan.
- Aline? - Penelope gets up, his face pale, almost translucent surprise - Aline, Aline the same DET?
I do not think Peter should have revealed it to her, not now. Does not he thought it would be a shock to Penelope know the truth in this way?
Even though I have vowed never to lie or hide anything from her, the circumstances are different; she is pregnant and fragile. Penelope is already going through a lot this last week, no longer need all that shit being poured on his head.
- Stay calm - try to move around in bed, go to her, but I am prevented by their hands, which are soon on my shoulder, pushing me back gently - You have to stay calm. Peter will solve it.
I'm still trying to digest what he said. Aline was complicit in Nathan, who had a morbid plan against me. Until then, I did not care what might have architected, but when it starts to involve the woman I love and my son, everything changes. Whatever happens I will touch automatically, whether physical or emotional, and I can not allow either of them again suffer because of me.
- The name Steve Hale is familiar to you? - Asks Peter.
- Yes. Neil asked me to help a friend three years ago ... - I seek in my memory the events of that date -It was something very unusual. Neil and I had found in the evening in his office, the building w
as almost empty; taking the watchmen, I think no one else. What I found strange at the time, both by circumstances and by his behavior.
I begin to understand things clearly now.
- He was the son of a bitch Nathan! He told me he needed help with the father of a Neil lover. That's what I tried to do. But the guy was dirty to the neck - stare at Peter firmly - I do not accept that my clients lie to me. Before you even think to leave the case, Neil asked me to do it, did not want my career to be spotted this way. I was relieved at the time, I did not want to leave it on hand in case the girl was serious. Nathan was stirring his new pieces. I dropped the case two weeks later indicated another lawyer, and only learned later, by a note in the newspaper, that Hale committed suicide later.
- Knowing the history of Nathan, beginning to doubt that has even been suicide - Peter says - Moreover, the money diverted Hale ended up in an illicit account in your name, then diverted to another account I could not find yet. Aline ... Allyson believe you stole her father, so he killed himself. Her mother had an accidental death remedy days before the bank take their house. And the rest you can imagine ...
- She wanted revenge - Penelope finds for me, horrified by what we just know - The goal was to make Adam fall in love with her, then kill him. Now it makes sense she never liked me really. The target it has always been you, Adam. He became poisonous when he learned of us.
- I never became interested in it. I never felt attracted.
- I never thought I'd say this, but it's the first time I regret having fucked a woman - he crosses his arms - came to ask me many questions about you, but just thought it was something woman, after all, I do not it was the kind that house. The son of a bitch used me?
If the situation involving Allyson / Aline were not so disturbing, it would be comical he offended by this; then the man who had sex with an astonishing number of women in this city. But one thing was certain: the woman is completely insane and was hanging around us all the time.
Two of Hearts Page 44
