“There’s two of them,” Samantha said. “Twins.”
“All the more reason to put it back. You wouldn’t want its brother to be lonesome, would you?”
“It’s a sister,” Samantha announced. “They’re girls. I know ’cause they’re both so pretty and soft.”
Smiling, Sean cast Rachel a sidelong glance. “I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“Me, too.” Rachel couldn’t help but return his grin. “I knew better than to ask.”
She held a group of branches back so the little girl could reach the hidden nest more easily. Samantha tucked the bunny next to its sibling beneath the loose straw and reemerged looking forlorn.
“You did the right thing,” Rachel told her. “It’s the job of people to take good care of all the animals.”
“Like Noah did?” Samantha asked.
“Yes. Kind of.”
Already eagerly following another train of thought, the child said, “Noah had lions and tigers and stuff. I saw pictures in Sunday school. I did. And giraffes, too. They stuck their head out the windows of the boat.”
Rather than try to explain the immense scope of the actual ark the way the Bible did, Rachel merely said, “That’s right. He had two of everything.”
“I never saw a real giraffe,” Samantha said, “or lions and stuff, either. My daddy was going to take me but…”
“I’m so sorry.” Pulling her close, Rachel gave her a long hug before she let go and straightened. “I’m sure you’ll get to go to the zoo someday, honey.”
Eyes twinkling, Samantha grabbed her hand. “I know! You could take me. You and Sean!”
Rachel’s gaze darted to his face and found her own surprise mirrored there. “I don’t think so.”
Sean shrugged, smiled. “Why not? You’re a teacher. You’re allowed to take kids on field trips, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but it can take weeks to get a trip authorized.”
“Okay. Then, we’ll go privately.”
“Hannah can’t permit that,” Rachel argued.
“How about if she goes along, too?”
“Are you saying we should take her with us?”
He wasn’t about to back down. “Sure. Why not?”
“If we’re going to do that, why not just give Hannah some money and send her while we’re both at work?”
“And miss all the fun? Not me,” Sean vowed. “I haven’t been to a zoo in I don’t know how long.”
“Well, I’m not about to play hooky from school, if that’s what you have in mind,” Rachel said flatly.
“Don’t our contracts say we get personal leave days or something like that?”
“Yes, but…”
“No more excuses, then. It’s settled. We’re going to the zoo. All of us.” At his feet, the excited little girl was jumping up and down and squealing with delight.
Rachel wasn’t quite as thrilled. She stared up at him. “Okay, smarty. When?”
“Soon.”
“Not if we can’t officially get the time off. I’d never ditch school. What kind of example would that be for my class?”
“A lousy one,” Sean said with a sigh. “The question is, how badly do you want to keep from disappointing poor Sam.”
Glancing around the immediate area, Rachel said, “Speaking of which, where did she go?”
“Probably ran inside to tell Hannah the good news.”
“Terrific.”
Shaking her head incredulously and staring off into the distance, Rachel wondered absently how she’d been coerced into agreeing to participate in such a crazy scheme. It didn’t take her long to admit the truth—she wanted to go with Samantha and Sean so badly she could taste it.
So much for maintaining emotional distance from her students! She grimaced as her thoughts spiraled further. Students? Ha! They were nowhere near the worst of her problems. No, sir. Her biggest dilemma stood six feet tall and had enticingly mischievous eyes, not to mention an inherent kindness and the sort of physique that lonely women’s dreams were made of.
Sean tapped her on the shoulder to regain her attention. “Hey there. Anybody home?”
“Nobody sane,” Rachel quipped. “If I were, I’d have told you I wasn’t going anywhere with you, let alone to the zoo.”
“But you didn’t,” he countered, grinning. “And you know how important it is to keep a promise to an impressionable child. Shall we plan on the day after tomorrow?”
“Will that be soon enough?”
“Barely,” Sean said, sobering. “Just barely.”
By the day of the trip Rachel was convinced that the Lord must have had His hand in their outing. Otherwise, how could all their plans have panned out so beautifully? Standing in Hannah’s yard, waiting for Sean to arrive, she said as much.
“Know what ya mean,” the older woman agreed. “When I told Mr. Vanbruger that Sam would be leaving soon, he said she could keep up with her schoolwork at home till then. ’Course, it ain’t like you give her much homework in kindergarten.”
Rachel laughed lightly. “True. But we learn new things every day. What I can’t believe is how easily he approved my request for time off, even though the year’s just beginning. I hope he was as generous with Sean.”
“You didn’t ask him?”
“I haven’t seen him. Not to talk to. The closest I’ve come to that man since we ran into each other over here the other night was a few glimpses of him in the hallways at school. He didn’t bother to telephone me, either. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t even have known what time we were supposed to be leaving or where we were going to meet.”
All Hannah said was “Hmm,” before she turned away and went back into the house, leaving Rachel free to concentrate more fully on her innermost thoughts.
The thing that surprised her was her own level of enthusiasm for the trip. From the moment she’d awakened that morning she’d felt like a child herself. At first she’d assumed she was merely happy on Samantha’s behalf, but now that she’d had time to look deeper into her heart she had to admit that much of her joy was personal.
Such a sudden awakening brought Rachel up short. It wasn’t right to let herself make believe that her life could turn out differently than she knew it would. Yet she desperately wanted one day—just one day—when she could pretend there was hope, that she might someday become someone’s mother. Someone’s wife.
Her breath caught. She stood very still, listening to her racing heart and acknowledging the whole truth. She didn’t dream of being just anyone’s wife—she dreamed of belonging only to Sean Bates, and he to her.
“But I love him, Father,” she whispered. “I can’t do that to him. I can’t deny him a family. What am I going to do?”
For a moment she considered asking God to change her body so she could feel complete. It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d begged for healing. When Craig had taken the news of her physical lack so hard, she’d fallen on her knees as soon as she was alone and wept an unspoken plea. At that time, the Lord had granted her peace instead. To continue to ask Him for something else seemed ungrateful. Wrong-hearted.
Before Rachel could pursue that conviction further she heard a car approaching. The screen door banged behind her. She intercepted Samantha flying down the porch steps and used the child’s momentum to swing her around twice before cautiously releasing her with a gentle warning.
“Slow down, sweetie. Let the poor man park before you mob him, okay? You know it’s not safe to run out in the road when a car’s coming.”
Samantha acted as if she didn’t hear a word. As soon as Rachel let go of her, she barreled up to Sean’s car and tugged on the handle of the driver’s door.
Grinning, he opened it and gave her a hug. “Hi, there, kiddo. You ready to go?”
“Yeah!”
He looked past the wiggling child to the woman standing at the base of the stairs. “Looks like you are, too. Very nice.”
Nervous, Rachel smoothed the hem of her knit shirt over the wa
istband of her shorts and smiled. “Thanks. I know we’ll have a lot of walking to do and it’s bound to be hot today. I wanted to be comfortable.”
“Hey, don’t apologize to me,” Sean said. “I think you look great.”
Modesty made her counter, “With these short legs?”
“They reach the ground, so they must be long enough,” he teased. “Is Hannah ready to go?”
Rachel nodded. “She just ducked back into the house a minute ago. Stay there. I’ll go get her.”
Watching the petite woman whirl and dash up the porch steps, Sean was taken with her youthful exuberance and upbeat attitude. Such qualities were definitely a gift, he reasoned, although he wasn’t quite ready to credit the Almighty as the giver.
He did have to admit there was something odd about living among so many believers, though. Most days, not an hour went by that someone didn’t mention a Higher Power. Christianity was such an integral part of everyone’s life here, it seemed that even those who didn’t profess a particular denominational faith knew the Bible and gave credit to God for even the smallest blessing. Speaking of which…
Sean heard Samantha babbling about the baby rabbits she’d found and saw her gesturing wildly toward the nest. “What?”
“They’re gone,” she told him. “I looked and looked. Maybe they got lost.”
“Or got big enough to leave home. Maybe it was time for them to go to kindergarten, like you.”
Hands on her hips, the child made a silly face. “Bunnies don’t go to school!”
“Are you sure?” Sean couldn’t help laughing at the way she was posturing. It reminded him of the way Rachel acted whenever she was miffed.
“Positive.”
“Okay. If you say so.” He glanced up with an expectant grin as the front door opened again. “Here comes Miss Rachel and Mrs. Brody. Time to go. Get in the back seat, and I’ll fasten your safety belt.”
“I want Miss Rachel to ride with me!”
“That’s what I was afraid of,” Sean murmured. “Okay. This is your trip. We’ll do it your way.”
By the time he’d secured Samantha’s belt, however, only Rachel had come as far as the car. She was frowning. Sean looked from her to Hannah and back. “What’s the matter?”
“Hannah says her blood sugar is too high again. She doesn’t feel well enough to go with us.”
“Oh-oh.”
Rachel nodded sagely. “Oh-oh is right. Now what are we going to do?”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to the zoo.”
“We shouldn’t.”
“Mrs. Brody doesn’t seem to mind. See? She’s waving.”
“I know. I suggested we take Hank, instead, so we’d have an authorized foster parent along. She just laughed at me.”
“No wonder. Can you imagine old Hank at the zoo? He’d probably spend all his time telling the keepers they weren’t taking care of the animals properly.”
Rachel smiled at his accurate assessment. “Probably.” She leaned down to look at the child already ensconced in the back seat of Sean’s car, then sighed noisily as she conceded. “Okay. I’ll go. But if I get in trouble over this I’m going to blame the whole thing on you.”
“Fair enough. Want me to tie you up, sling you over my shoulder like a pirate and throw you in the car to make your story more convincing?”
He burst out laughing when she gave him the Samantha Smith pose of indignation and said, “No, thanks. I’ll pass.”
There were two large zoos within a reasonable driving distance of Serenity—one in Little Rock and one in Memphis. Both were a three-hour journey. Sean decided to go to Memphis because he also wanted to give Samantha the opportunity to see the Mississippi River. Long before they reached the Tennessee/Arkansas border, however, she’d fallen fast asleep in the back seat.
“I’m glad you rode up front with me,” he told Rachel. “Our little friend has conked out. Guess I’ll have to show her the Big Muddy on our way home.”
“I had to sit where I could see out,” Rachel replied. “The road between Hardy and Blackrock is way too crooked. It always makes me dizzy.”
“Sorry. Do you get seasick, too?”
She shrugged, taking care to keep her eyes on the road in case there was a curve ahead. “I don’t know. The only boat I was ever in was a canoe. A friend and I floated down the Strawberry River. We went so slowly I hardly noticed movement.”
“Someday we’ll have to take a trip in a real boat, then.”
When she didn’t comment, Sean glanced over at her. Her hands were clasped tightly together in her lap. Her jaw was clamped shut. Her beautiful blue eyes were staring out the windshield, concentrating as if she were the one driving.
Wisely, he dropped the subject. It had been stupid to talk to Rachel about the future. She was right. There was no use prolonging the agony by pretending they had a chance as a couple. Thanks to his big mouth, she already knew he came from a dysfunctional family—one she’d not want to even consider joining. Nor would she want to bring into the world children who might exhibit that same propensity for addiction.
Geneticists were still split on whether or not such leanings were inherited, but Sean wasn’t about to chance finding out they were. So far, he’d escaped the insidious addiction that had swallowed up his father and brothers, yet they all came from the same ancestors. If he ever let himself slip, no telling how far down he’d slide before he hit bottom.
His hands tightened on the wheel, his knuckles whitening from the effort. No way was he going to involve an innocent woman like Rachel in such a terrible life. She deserved better. Much better than he could ever offer.
To distract himself before his musings made him too depressed, he handed her a Tennessee road map. “Here. I checked before we left, and I think if we get off on Poplar we can take it all the way to the zoo. See if that’s right, will you? The off-ramp should be coming up pretty soon.”
“Okay. As long as you don’t go around any corners while I’m not watching the road.”
“If any come along I’ll straighten them just for you,” he quipped, quickly adding, “Oops! Hang on. Corner coming up.”
She blinked and focused on the roadway as best she could. It was several long seconds before her equilibrium returned to normal. “Whew! That was fun. Remind me not to eat anything for a couple of hours before we start home.”
“Eat? What if the zoo doesn’t sell rabbit food?”
“Very funny. I don’t eat salads all the time. I happen to love hot dogs. Ice cream, too, although I don’t usually indulge when I have my whole class along on a field trip.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not fair to give myself a treat when my students can’t have the same thing. It’s way too messy. Bus drivers really hate it when you bring twenty-five or thirty sticky kids back on board for the ride home.”
“Speaking from experience, I have to agree.” Sean nodded toward the back seat. “Tell you what. If you and Sleeping Beauty promise to wash afterwards, you can both have all the ice cream you want.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I’m so relieved to have your permission, Mr. Bates. Thanks bunches.”
“You don’t have to get sarcastic. I was just trying to make polite conversation.”
“I know. Sorry. When you mentioned driving the bus it made me think about school again. Neither of us may have jobs if the authorities find out Hannah didn’t come with us. I guess worrying about that has made me a little cranky.”
“You? Why should you worry? Everybody I meet keeps telling me God will take care of them. Don’t you believe the same thing?”
She gave a derisive huff. “It’s not that simple. If I suspect that what I’m doing may be wrong, then for me it is wrong. I can’t count on divine providence to step in and rescue me if my own folly has gotten me into trouble.”
“What we’re doing here can’t be wrong,” he insisted. “This is our last chance to show Sam a good time, to let her know we
care about her. No matter where she goes or what happens in the future, she’ll always have today to remember.”
So will I, Rachel mused. So will I.
Remembering was going to be easy. It was forgetting that was going to be hard.
A child and a zoo are more than compatible, they’re symbiotic, Rachel thought, watching Samantha run from one exhibit to the next with Sean in tow. It had only taken the bright child a few attempts to figure out that she could get a much better view of everything if she asked Sean to hold her up instead of begging Rachel for a boost.
The only time that additional height wasn’t helpful was in the tropical, walk-in aviary, where all the brightly hued birds flew freely overhead, as if still at home in the jungle. The rest of the zoo followed a stylized Egyptian theme, in keeping with the Memphis name, and featured gardens brimming with flowers between each exhibit. No matter how many times Rachel visited there, its beauty always enthralled her.
Sean led the way to the elephant enclosure. Samantha was balanced on his shoulders, pointing and babbling. “She only loves me for my height,” he said aside to Rachel.
“Speaking as someone who’s been hanging out pretty close to the ground her whole life, I can understand that fascination,” she replied, smiling. “I dare you to leave her up there while we eat the ice cream you promised us.”
“Only if you pick a flavor that doesn’t clash with the color of my hair.”
Rachel laughed. She’d smiled and giggled so often since they’d been together that the muscles in her cheeks actually hurt. What a day this had been! What a marvelous, blessed day. If she were running the universe, the sun would never set. This very same day would go on forever and ever. And so would her happiness.
Their shared happiness, she corrected. From the outset, Samantha had acted as if being with the two of them was as routine as being with her former parents. And Sean played the part of father-shepherd with a natural grace and quiet wisdom.
Though Rachel had done her best to fit in, there were still unguarded moments when she felt like an outsider, a pretender, and had to hide behind her sunglasses to blink back tears.
If Sean noticed, he kept the observation to himself. Rachel was glad he hadn’t quizzed her about it. Under the circumstances she had no intention of baring her soul. Especially not to him. Clearly, Samantha was delighted with the zoo trip, and Rachel didn’t intend to do or say one single thing that might spoil it.
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