A few weeks later and it was the summer holidays. I went on a camping trip to a beach somewhere with my mate Ben. We got really wasted that night, we were drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey and had a large bag of weed, as usual. We were out under the stars, and while I was looking up at the night sky I had an idea. I began to think about the black hole in the 3D Simpsons episode, and something clicked! Space warps around mass in every direction at once! That’s how gravity works! It all happened in an instant! I realised (perhaps incorrectly at the time) that nothing could escape gravity, no matter how far away something is it is still being slowed by gravity! I looked up at the stars and I could see them all coming back together from gravity, then exploding again, expanding and then contracting again and I enlarged the idea! Super-universes made up entirely of other universes, universes with universes within universes all exploding, expanding and contracting over and over and over again! I studied chemical engineering, so I knew that the laws of conservation of mass and energy meant that the universe could not possibly have come out of nothing and out of nowhere! The universe has always existed, there is a scientific explanation for the origin of the universe! In an instant, like a flash of lightning from on high, divine inspiration had struck me! I had made the greatest discovery in the history of physics, in the history of the world! I had discovered the infinite Universe!
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Chapter 2
My question, however, remains unanswered: –
Have we any right to infer – let us say, rather, to imagine – an interminable succession of the “clusters of clusters,” or of “Universes” more or less similar?
(From ‘Eureka,’ by Edgar Allan Poe)
I couldn’t stop thinking about my new universe theory. I lay in bed imagining the universe in my mind, seeing universes within universes, big bangs within big bangs, stars being created, gravity sucking them all back together. I was virtually comatose. An infinite series of explosions had detonated in my mind!
I started developing my ideas, of course I didn’t really know anything about physics, but that didn’t stop me from thinking that I did. I wrote it all out, and I dropped it in all of the neighbour’s letter boxes. I felt like Homer Simpson in the episode where he has the crayon removed from his brain and he tells Flanders “while working on my taxes I accidentally proved there’s no God,” and he’s putting flyers around town. I felt like I had disproved the existence of God, now that science could explain the origin of the universe, there was no need for God! I also posted it to Stephen Hawking, I thought “Stephen Hawking will love to hear about this,” and I eagerly awaited his reply.
On Christmas Eve after work, we had a bit of a Christmas party in the back dock area. I explained my universe theory to everyone at work, and because I knew there were some religious types there, when I finished I said “that is the awesomeness of what God would be.” It’s true, if there is a God, only creating a finite universe might be impressive, but that wouldn’t make God the infinite Creator of the Universe. An infinite Universe however, now that would be impressive!
That was the first time in my life that I had ever even acknowledged the possibility of the existence of a God. When I got home that night I passed out on the grass out the front of the house for a couple of hours. I woke up in the morning, on Christmas Day 2001, two thousand years after the celebrated birth of Jesus, covered in a rash from head to toe. It was an allergic reaction that I had had only twice previously in my life. I spent the whole day bright red and itchy as hell, all the while thinking I was being punished for discovering the infinite Universe, for trying to disprove the existence of God. I felt like a freak, I thought that surely my family must realise what’s happened to me. Here I was telling all of my relatives that I’ve discovered the infinite Universe, and I was covered in a horrible rash, on Christmas Day! I thought I looked ridiculous, I thought that they knew I was being punished for my discovery.
The next day I went to the hospital because I still had this rash, they gave me an injection of antihistamine and it was gone in minutes. My theory had the title ‘the super-universe and bigger-bang theory,’ but I gave it a second title, ‘I have found a God at the infinite centre of the Universe.’
We all celebrated New Years 1999/2000 as the millennium, but if you want to get technical about it, the millennium was actually Christmas Day 2001. That was the day that I was born into my new life. You could say that it was the day Jesus came back, if you were inclined to think like that, but I wasn't alive 2000 years ago. I was never crucified, I never died for anyone's sins, my name is Michael Spears. I've had my own life to live, and I've got my own story to tell.
On New Years Eve that year, I went into Sydney with my mate Davo for the night. I had described my universe theory as being like a fireworks explosion where the spark at the end of each tail explodes, and then the spark at the end of each of those tails explode etc, etc, etc... Davo walked around with me, pointing at the fireworks in the sky and telling people, “see that, that’s the universe!” We spent the whole night doing that, I felt like we were blowing people’s minds! It was kind of insane, but it was fun too, I was excited, I had just discovered the infinite Universe!
I wrote my ‘super-universe and bigger bang theory’ in this style, wild, excited, insane! Perhaps someone might have listened were I not claiming to know all of the laws of physics, but then again, probably not. A lot of time has passed since then, now we’re in 2016, fifteen long years later, and I actually do know all of the laws of physics, and still no one is listening.
It was after Christmas that I began to notice strange things. It seemed like my life had been pointing me towards this theory of the universe, everything in my life had been leading me towards this discovery. For example, I thought about my old gang Team Tron, and our obsession with the 3D Simpsons episode where I got my theory of gravity from, and I wondered if I ever would have had the idea had I not been prompted by my sister Katie. I thought about my father comparing me to Isaac Newton as a child and telling me that I’m the third smartest man in the world. I thought about my lifelong obsession with space, probably because of my father's early influence, and I thought about how I never would have discovered the infinite Universe had I not studied chemical engineering. Because of chemical engineering I knew the laws of the conservation of mass and energy, if I had studied astrophysics I would have the same ideas as everyone else, my mind was a blank canvas. I wrote a piece called ‘Do you believe in fate?’ and I posted it alongside my universe theory all over the university.
I also began thinking about a Nostradamus prophecy
Century X Quatrain 72
In the year 1999 and seven months,
From the sky will come a great king of Terror,
He will resurrect the great king of Angolmois,
Before and after Mars rules happily.
I realised this was a prophecy about September 11. The line “from the sky will come a great king of Terror,” who could that possibly be but Osama bin Laden and September 11? What other “great king of Terror” has there been who came “from the sky”? But the date was wrong, or so it seemed. Quatrain 72, seven in French (the original language) is sept, because of course September used to be the seventh month, while two in Roman numerals is II, so in the Quatrain number you have the date Sept II. I played around with the 1999 and the seven months thing, someone called Victor Baines on the internet told me that if you reverse the numbers so you have 9111 it’s 9/11/1, but in hindsight maybe I was just trying to find something that wasn’t there. Solving this puzzle made me think that I was “the great king of Angolmois,” it was like “Angel moi.” I was Michael, the great king of the Angels! My mother is Rosemary, my middle name is David, I have a birthmark on my thigh, my last name is Spears, like Britney Spears!
The list went on and on, pretty soon I was connecting everything on earth to be about me, the whole world was talking about me! I knew ‘The Lord of the Rings’ was going to be a big hit, I am obsesse
d with blowing smoke rings, and the movies are called ‘The Two Towers’ and then ‘The Return of the King.’ Everyone who was famous seemed to be called Michael, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Mickey Mouse! McDonald’s had posted giant M’s all over the world! The millennium, it’s the millennium, like my favourite TV show Millennium with Lance Henriksen, and the year 2000 in Roman numerals was my old initials, MM, like Eminem, or M&M’s! Or The Matrix, “I am the one!” I was born in Australia, under the Southern Cross! “The whole world is talking about me, and they don’t even realise it! I am the Messiah!”
I decided to call myself ‘Bruce the Philosopher,’ from a Monty Python sketch about all of the great philosophers being Aussie beer drinkers. I looked in my Monty Python diary for 2002, and ‘The Bruce’s Philosophers Song’ was on the very first page, also Ken’s middle name is Bruce and his dad’s name is Bruce, it was meant to be!
I also started to believe that I had the power to send anyone I wanted to heaven and hell. It was with this power that I was going to save the world. I thought I could just show people all of my signs, show them my universe theory, and they would believe I had these powers and they would be good if I told them that I could send them to heaven and hell. I wrote stuff about “I have created seven layers of heaven and seven layers of hell,” I wanted to send everyone to heaven except for Hitler and Osama bin Laden, Hitler was in the seventh layer of hell, but Osama bin Laden was currently in the first layer. I was writing about the temperatures of the different layers of hell, and telling Osama bin Laden that the longer he takes to surrender the further into the layers of hell he would descend. I thought that I was here to save the world from terrorism and Osama bin Laden. I also wrote about “seven rules by which to live,” which were my version of the ten commandments, things like “do not kill,” “do not rape,” “do not steal,” but the first rule was always “no one touches Spears.”
I could feel God’s presence surrounding me, I could feel lights shining down from heaven upon me, I could feel myself being enveloped by a bubble of protection. I wondered why I couldn’t perform any miracles, but I could control who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, and maybe that was all the power that I needed. Driving in my car one night with my petrol gauge on empty, I felt the power of God driving my car, I could feel the wheels turning with a spiritual energy, and I would see my fuel gauge rise above empty. This was my first miracle, or so I thought, I believed that I didn’t need to put petrol in my car. After a while I thought “I’d better put some in, just in case,” but I really believed that my car was being powered by God. “Such a 21st century miracle,” I thought, “how cool.” In my mind could see people rejoicing in heaven, I could see Hitler burning in hell, I could see angels singing my praises, the world would soon be at peace! The Messiah was here!
Looking back on it, it’s embarrassing. I’m ashamed to tell you these things. I can’t believe the fucking crazy shit I was saying, and the crazy shit I was thinking, but it was all a part of my evolution. This is all a part of my story. Have you ever discovered the infinite Universe? Have you ever found out that you’re the Messiah? That you’re here to save the world? Seriously, it’s not easy. It completely blew my mind.
I went around telling everyone who I was, I told my family, I told my friends, I told my workmates, I posted letters to the Pope, the White House and the Pentagon, the Prime Minister, Stephen Hawking, I emailed every newspaper and television station I could! “The Messiah is here! I am the Messiah!” I would show everything I had written to people, I would send them my theory of the universe, my rules about heaven and hell, and a huge list of signs I had written out. I think I had a list of about 150 signs, all pointing to me being the Messiah, not many of them making as much sense as I thought they did.
I was expecting hordes of media to turn up at any time. My friends got angry, mum was upset and Ken got really angry, but I didn’t understand why. “They should be happy!” I thought. I was ecstatic, I couldn’t believe how blessed I was to be chosen, “I’m the Messiah! It’s the greatest thing to ever happen to anyone!”
These social workers came around to talk to me, I showed them all of the stuff I’d written. My theories of the universe, all of the signs about me, my seven rules by which to live, the seven layers of heaven and seven layers of hell, “see! I’m the Messiah!” Then mum drove me to the hospital and I got locked up, I didn’t understand why no one believed me. “What am I doing here? I’m the Messiah, can’t you see? It’s so obvious!” That was when things got bad. I didn’t understand why no one else could see what I could see, I could see my name written all over the world, it was so clear, it was so obvious! The world was shouting my name and my identity! I thought anyone could see that it was true, but apparently not. I was the only one who could see it.
Things changed when I was in the hospital, my happiness and excitement became anger and confusion. It was torture, there’s no other word for it. They were giving me some really heavy drugs. I was a mess, I was totally fucked up. I still didn’t think anything was wrong with me, and I didn’t know what I was doing in there. An ad was on TV a lot, it was a ‘Lord of the Rings’ promotion where you could win a replica of the ring, it kept saying “hurry, the chosen one must be found soon,” and I would look at the nurses and point to the television and try to show them that the world is looking for me.
I spent the first couple of weeks sitting on the couch trying to get the bad thoughts out of my head. I called God “the thought police,” and I believed that I had to instantly rid myself of all bad thoughts. “Fuck God,” kept coming into my head, and I would clutch my head and rock back and forth trying to stop myself from thinking such things. It kept popping into my head “fuck God,” “fuck God.” I needed to stop it, “why couldn’t I stop thinking ‘fuck God’? I can’t have thoughts like this! God can hear everything I think!” “What does God want from me?!” “Why me?!” I wanted to know, I never even believed in God, “why did He have to pick on me?!” “I never asked for this, and I’m not qualified for this! I’ve never even been to church, or read the Bible!”
My sister Katie gave me a Bible to read while I was in the hospital, so I started reading it from the start, because I thought that was just how it worked. You read a book from the start. Then someone in the hospital told me I should read the Book of Revelations, because it’s all about Judgement Day and the second coming of Christ. So I read the book of Revelations… worst advice ever. If you haven’t read the Book of Revelations, it’s a horrible book, filled with stuff about “seven plagues” and “seven bowls full of God’s wrath.” “This is what God wants me to do?” I thought, “destroy the world?” In the book of Revelations I found both my name and a reference to the birthmark on my thigh. It was the first time I had ever read a prophecy about myself, and it freaked me out!
And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down — that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.
[Revelation 12:7-9]
I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no-one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron sceptre.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:
KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
[Revelation 19:11-16]
That night, the night I read the Book of Revelations
for the first time, I had a dream. I was in my old primary school. Jesus was standing in front of me, he was smiling and I looked into his eyes, and he said “Mick the Messiah, what a spinout, hey?” He pointed to the sky, and there was what I always described as “a great white swirling body,” in hindsight it was like a rotating spiral galaxy, that was God. Next to God was an outline of the Devil in red, then lightning came from God and destroyed the Devil. To me, that dream, it was like Jesus was passing on the title of Messiah to myself. “I was the Messiah, now it’s your turn.” You go through your life as an ordinary person, and then suddenly you’re the Messiah, “what a spinout, hey?” It was a total mind fuck. Even though Jesus is kind of my nemesis these days, I’ll always remember that dream. I woke up in the morning with a huge smile on my face. “Jesus had just called me the Messiah, it’s my turn now.” I never used to remember my dreams, but this was the most vivid and real dream I’d ever had in my life, it was a dream that I will remember forever. This was truly a dream from God.
I had to get out of the hospital, I thought that the best way would be to convince them that I was the Messiah, “then they would have to let me out!” It seemed so obvious to me, surely it should be obvious to them too. I made friends with a young guy in there, he told me “you’ve gotta know when to hold them and when to fold them.” I heard what he was saying, but I thought that I could convince these people of the “truth.” Although I didn’t take his advice at the time, I did listen to him in the end, and I’ll always remember that piece of advice he gave me.
Judgement Day Page 3
