by Jamie Summer
“How long did you stay?”
“We were here for four days, then traveled throughout Ireland for another two weeks. Overall, the trip lasted almost three weeks. One of the best vacations of my life.”
“Why didn’t you mention that when you saw this would be our next stop?”
Nathan shrugged. “It didn’t seem important. I mean, what good would that knowledge have done?” His eyes searched mine. “I am happy I got to come here. Brings back good memories…for the most part.”
For the most part? I was tempted to ask about that, but the melancholic sound of his voice made me reconsider. Did something happen on the trip that he’d rather forget? I wasn’t going to open up any old wounds, no matter how curious I was.
“Ready to move on?” he asked.
We walked through the park, studying everything that might have come remotely close to being a clue. There were trees with breaks in their bark, but none of it resembled a carving. There were also a few chalk drawings on the ground, but none that looked like a church…or anything that didn’t belong. We passed a lake and a playground, but it wasn’t until we’d reached the end that I saw something odd.
“Nathan?” I pointed.
He frowned. “What’s a grave doing in a park?”
It wasn’t a real grave, but a replica. Built on the very edge of the park, the gravestone sat against the outer wall of St. Stephen’s Green. It was probably nothing anyone would find odd if they weren’t looking for something out of place. Or maybe most people simply thought it was the gravestone of someone important. The only problem was the stone didn’t bear any inscription. It was blank.
Yet something about it felt oddly familiar.
“Any idea what it could mean…if anything?” Nathan asked.
“No. How about we take a picture and keep it in mind. Might be nothing, might be a clue. I don’t think we’ll know more until we find something else.” I got my phone out and took a few shots of the unidentified gravestone. There wasn’t anything that would explain why it was here in the first place. There had to be a reason, though.
By the time we exited the park, the sun had set and darkness covered the street around us. Lights had gone on, bathing the city in a colorful hue. It was a magical sight to see.
After deciding against going back to the city center just yet, we found a restaurant close by. I liked the area we were in and wanted to explore some more.
The Chinese restaurant we chose was exactly what I needed. I tried not to show it too much, but I had a hard time waiting for my food to arrive.
“Haven’t had Chinese in a while?” Nathan asked, shooting me a mischievous grin. Maybe my happiness at having Green Curry Chicken hadn’t been as covert as I thought.
“I haven’t, no. There aren’t a lot of good places where I live, so the choices are limited. I’ve always wished they would open a PF Chang’s, but our small town isn’t big enough for a chain like that.”
Nathan watched me carefully, making me feel oddly scrutinized. “I have no idea what PF Chang’s is.”
I opened my mouth in shock. “Are you kidding me? How do you live in the US and have no idea what PF Chang’s is?”
“I am really not a fan of Chinese food.”
I threw my arms up. “Why are we eating here then?”
“The moment the restaurant came into view, your eyes lit up. It was hard to miss the longing. If that’s the look you give food when you want it, I’d rather not see the look you give a man when you have the same thought.”
His comment, especially the hint of desire and fear in his voice when he said it, made me swallow, my fork loudly clattering to the plate. Nathan seemed as surprised by his words as I was because he didn’t look directly at me. Instead, he studied the chandelier hanging from the ceiling with great interest.
“Anyway, let’s enjoy our food,” he quickly added.
My appetite had suddenly vanished. I had all this amazing food in front of me, but the words Nathan said ran through my mind. I’d rather not see the look you give a man when you have the same thought. God, I was pretty sure I’d looked at him that way before. More times than I should be comfortable with. I’d gotten better the past few days, but it was still there.
Had he never seen it? Had I gotten good at hiding my feelings?
“Emlyn, your food is getting cold.” His tone was back to the friend zone we’d gotten used to.
I picked up my fork and ate a bit, but it was merely to appease him, not because my body was screaming for it like it was two minutes ago.
After that, dinner was an awkward affair. While it bothered me to some extent, I didn’t see myself responsible for the way our evening changed. Nathan was the one who threw out words I had no idea how to deal with. Instead, I just pretended they were never spoken in the first place. It was easier.
After dinner, we walked back to the hotel. Nathan bid me good night, explaining he had something to take care of. I didn’t ask what that was in the middle of the night because, quite frankly, I didn’t care. I only wanted to curl up on my bed, watch some senseless TV, and sleep.
Tomorrow was a new day. I just hoped it was a better one.
Chapter Thirteen
I woke to the sound of rapid knocking. Slowly opening my eyes, I noticed it was still dark. I sat up in bed, listening.
Silence.
I let my gaze wander around the room to see if there was anything that would explain the noise that ripped me out of a peaceful sleep, but I couldn’t. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.
“What woke me up?” I murmured.
Hearing nothing, I decided whatever woke me was gone. Putting my head back on my pillow, I willed the eerie feeling that had started to settle in my stomach to go away. I only wanted to sleep. Nothing else.
I must’ve dozed off again. I dreamt I was in a sauna, relaxing. It was a really nice dream. Until it got hotter…and hotter…and hotter. I had trouble breathing. Every time I gasped for air, my lungs burned at the effort.
“Em!” someone yelled, shaking me.
I startled awake, seeing silver eyes looking at me with pure horror.
“Em, you need to get up.”
What? Why do I—
That was when I smelled it—smoke. My eyes slowly took in the hotel room. The same hotel room I’d stared at in the wee hours of the morning was now on fire. Everything was in flames. The dresser, the chair, the blinds. Miraculously, the only things not on fire were the bed and the doorway.
“We need to get out of here!” he yelled.
I barely managed to nod. My lungs hurt, and my eyes watered so badly, I wasn’t sure I could focus on anything at all. I blindly felt around, trying to find the bedside table. When I found it, I grabbed the robe draped over it and my phone. Coughing, I tried to find Nathan, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough.
“Em, you can do this.”
His voice came from right in front of me. I felt his arm around my shoulders as he pulled me out of the burning inferno. The moment we stepped into the hallway, I was able to breathe a little easier. My eyes stopped watering, and I could just make out people running past us and heading for the nearest exit.
“We need to follow them,” Nathan said, pulling me forward. Suddenly remembering, I dug my heels into the carpet, making him stop.
“The notebook. We need the notebook. All the clues, everything we found is in there. Coordinates. Even drawings I made of the church and gravestone we need to check out. We can’t leave that book here.” Everything I’d learned about the keyholder was in there. I was old-school like that. No copies online, nothing. The only clues we had were all in that notebook.
“There’s no way I’m going back in there for a notebook,” Nathan exclaimed, shocked I’d even suggest it. I could tell he thought I was crazy to risk my life for something so mediocre.
“If you won’t do it, I will,” I told him. When he didn’t respond, I shrugged and took a step toward my room.
He blocked my
way. “Where is it?” he ground out. I explained to him as best as I could. “If I die because of a freaking notebook, I’m haunting you for the rest of your life.”
He walked back toward my room. I had a bad feeling about this, but I also knew what Nathan was capable off. I switched between cursing myself for sending him on a suicide mission and reassuring myself how badly we needed that notebook. The doorway to my room was still clear. The moment Nathan vanished inside, I started counting mentally. It helped me focus on something other than the loud pounding of my heart. And the shaking of my hands.
The mere thought something might happen to Nathan because of what I asked him to do was awful. I had only ever felt like this one other time. And that was something I vowed to never think about again.
Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…
I counted slowly, trying to calm myself. It didn’t work. The numbers went on, but Nathan didn’t emerge. What the hell was taking him so long?
“Ma’am, you need to leave. We need to get everybody to safety,” I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned, seeing someone from the hotel. “Now!”
“I can’t. My friend is still in the—”
A loud explosion rang through the hallway and I saw the flames spring from my hotel room, igniting the walls around me. The fire burned my skin and I jumped back, out of the flames’ reach.
Nathan.
“No!!” I yelled, running toward my room, ignoring the heat.
The guy grabbed my arm. “You can’t go in there.”
I couldn’t move. I heard him talking, but I barely made out what he said. My head pounded, there was a constant buzz in my ears and pressure in my chest. It felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of me, making it impossible for me to breathe.
“Ma’am, please… It’s dangerous here,” the employee said again. While one side of me knew I needed to get out of here as quickly as I could, the other side couldn’t move. Suddenly, I was lifted off the floor and flung over a shoulder.
No. I can’t leave. I need to wait for Nathan.
“No! Let me go! Let me go!” I yelled.
Instead, he carried me over to the staircase and walked down. He made it seem as if I were nothing more than a paperweight. No amount of pushing and hitting derailed him from doing his job, and a small part of me admired his persistence.
“I need to go find my friend. Please,” I cried.
“If your friend is still in there, I don’t think he made it out, ma’am. I’m really sorry.” His voice was full of sadness. Sadness for a person he didn’t even know, or maybe for the pain I felt inside. The mere thought that Nathan didn’t make it out knocked me off balance. I didn’t know which way was up anymore.
My whole body turned cold as I imagined him in there, burning alive because I couldn’t live without my notebook.
I hated myself more than anything at that moment.
We stepped outside, loud noise and rain assaulting me. The man put me down in front of an ambulance, telling them he was pretty sure I was in shock. The words registered in my brain, but I couldn’t focus on them.
I took in the building in front of me, flames licking out of every window, along every inch of the hotel. It was unbelievably hot where I stood on the street, so I couldn’t even imagine what it had to be like inside. Had it been that warm when I stood by my room a few seconds ago? I honestly couldn’t remember.
The window to my room was strangely easy to make out. The fire had already lessened there, leaving it charred. The dark spots ran across the whole window frame, as if the fire had widened from there. Almost like it was the starting point.
“My friend… My friend’s still in there,” I called to whomever would listen.
A man ran over. “I’m Chief Larson. Where’s your friend, ma’am?”
I pointed up at my room. “Up there. He ran back into the room to get something for me and I haven’t seen him since.”
He nodded and pushed the button of his mic, relaying the information to the guys already in the building.
“They’ll check everything and see if they can find your friend, okay?”
I wasn’t comforted by his words. Nathan had been in that room way too long. If there were any chance of him being alive, he needed to be on his way out already. I did the only thing I could do at this point. I stared at the exit. More and more people ran through, but I didn’t see Nathan. Every time a blond guy came out, my heart leapt in excitement, but I never saw silver eyes.
With every person who exited, my hope of seeing Nathan alive sank. I tried not to let my thoughts go there, but watching the inferno in front of me made my stomach clench. I took a few deep breaths, but every time I did, the smell of smoke reminded me of what I lost. It was impossible to fight against the pain in my chest.
Time moved slowly. No one approached me as I sat on the back of the ambulance. They put a breathing device over my mouth to get my oxygen level up—at least I think that was what the paramedic told me—and had me sit and wait.
I hated waiting. I hated being unable to do anything. More than that, I hated the fact I was most likely the reason another person was dead.
Dead.
I tried to soothe myself, but it was no use.
“Ma’am? Can you hear me?”
Was someone talking to me? I had a hard time focusing on anything other than my broken heart.
“Ma’am?”
I heard something, but the buzzing in my head was too loud, the beating of my heart too erratic. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I blacked out.
I felt myself slowly reaching consciousness. I heard a weird beep, but couldn’t quite grasp it. There was something oddly familiar about the sound.
I slowly opened my eyes, closing them again as a bright light assaulted my vision. What the heck?
“Ms. Cavanagh, can you hear me?”
Why did everybody keep asking me that? I moved my head, hoping it resembled a nod. The way my head felt like it was filled with cotton candy, I couldn’t be sure I moved it at all.
“Good. You’re in the hospital. You’re okay, but I want you to relax. I turned the light off, so maybe you could try to open your eyes again.”
I did as I was told. When my vision came into focus this time, it was better. The room was bathed in darkness, so I could barely make out the two figures standing next to my bed.
“Better?” the guy—probably a doctor, judging from the white coat he wore—asked.
I nodded slowly. “Water,” I croaked.
A woman came over and handed me a cup with a straw in it. It hurt to swallow, but the cold was welcoming enough for me not to care.
“What happened?” I asked, trying to remember. The last thing I recalled was… “The fire!” I exclaimed, the pain in my head intensifying. I put my hand on it, willing the ache to go away.
Lina, at least that was what her name tag said, smiled gently.
“Yes, there was a fire in the hotel. You were brought outside, but fainted a few minutes later,” the doctor explained. I heard the monitor start to beep in alarm before realizing why. My heart rate had increased. “Calm down. You’re safe now.”
“My friend…” I swallowed back the tears forming in my eyes.
“Your friend?” the nurse asked. While I wanted to ask about Nathan, I couldn’t form the words.
“Take a few minutes. You’ve experienced a trauma and we don’t want to stress you,” the doctor added. While he gave me an understanding smile, I had the feeling this was the usual face he wore for every poor soul who ended up here. It lacked true empathy. The nurse, however, looked genuinely sorry for what I had gone through.
“We’ll be back later. There’s some food for you on this table. You simply have to pull it toward you.” She demonstrated and I nodded. I wasn’t hungry, though. Eating was the last thing on my mind.
“The police stopped by earlier, so they will probably be back later,” the doctor added.
I glanced
up at him in alarm. “The police?”
“It’s standard procedure,” he assured me, but I wasn’t so sure. What if they wanted to tell me about Nathan? What if they wanted to ask me questions I had no idea how to answer?
The nurse placed her hand on my arm. “Ma’am, calm down.” Her warm, brown eyes were a soothing sight in the blur of horrific images assaulting my mind. “You’re safe here. Nothing will hurt you.”
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The more slow breaths I took, the more relaxed I became. I felt my eyes getting heavy. Too heavy.
What is going on? Had they… Had they...
“She went through a very disturbing event. Please, be patient with her. I’m not sure how much she actually remembers from the incident. She also kept asking about a friend.”
I heard the voice clear as day. It took me a few seconds to realize I was still in the hospital. The monitors beeped steadily as I opened my eyes. I was greeted by much the same sight as before. The room was dark, two silhouettes standing by my bed.
“We’re here for routine questioning. We’re talking to everyone who was staying at the hotel.”
“Okay. She suffered from shock, so try not to rile her up any more than necessary.”
The man laughed at the statement, and something about it irked me. “We won’t. Again, it’s just routine questioning.”
Was it? Was it really? My hands got clammy and I felt my heart race. It was becoming a rather common occurrence. Something must have alerted them I was awake because they both turned to me at the same time.
“Hello, Ms. Cavanagh,” the officer greeted me. I hoped I gave him a smile in return. I wasn’t sure. It also could’ve been a grimace.
“Hello,” I squeaked out.
He walked around the bed, stopping by a chair. “Do you mind if I sit down?” he asked, obviously taking my long moment of silence for agreement because he sat. The doctor, whose name I still didn’t know, left shortly thereafter, leaving the officer and me alone…until the door opened and another officer entered.
