by Tawny Weber
“Why not?”
“Because covert ops isn’t my passion.”
“Does it have to be?”
“For me it does.” Thomas faced his son with a direct look. “Your problem is that you’re too damned good at too many things, son. You always have been.”
Before Mitch could ask what that meant, his father told him.
“When a person is good at one, two things, they tend to naturally find those one or two and focus everything they’ve got in that direction. It’s easy to weed out the stuff that isn’t right for them because they simply aren’t good at it.” He waited for Mitch to nod before continuing. “But some people, they’re good at a lot of things. Or at everything. For people like you, weeding out the options comes down to purpose. When you know your purpose, you discard what doesn’t fit. Until now, your purpose has always been to advance.”
“And now?” Mitch wondered.
“You’re choosing a direction. It’s one you’ll be spending a lot of your life on. So the question is, what are you passionate enough about to make it your purpose?”
Livi. Her face was the first thing that popped into Mitch’s mind. He was definitely passionate about her.
He was passionate about the new training program, about the idea of integrating better methods, of expanding the teams’ training. He was inspired by the idea of finding more tools, stronger techniques.
But he wasn’t passionate about DEVGRU.
“Grandfather’s gonna get his skivvies in a twist again,” Mitch reflected.
“Son, I’m of the opinion that how a man handles his skivvies is his own problem.” Thomas looked around the seedy bar and grimaced. “What d’ya say we go find a decent restaurant? You can buy me dinner and tell me about this divorcée fitness queen who plays with strippers.”
Mitch burst out laughing. Damn, Livi would love that description. Before he could respond, though, his cell phone flashed.
My place, 7:00
Mitch grimaced. “She’s pretty pissed at me.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised. Women have a tendency to get a little tetchy when we screw up.”
“Who said I screwed up?” Mitch frowned at his father.
“She’s pissed at you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You pissed at her?”
“No,” Mitch realized.
“Then you screwed up. If it was mutual, the anger would be mutual. That’s how these things work.”
Couldn’t argue with that. Livi was right—he’d been reacting to the slams to his ego. Not to anything she’d done.
“You’re so good at figuring out how things work. Why don’t you help me figure out how to fix it?”
“You’re gonna have to buy me a steak dinner for that information.”
Mitch threw a twenty on the bar and followed his father to the door.
“I’m meeting Livi at seven. But you tell me how to fix things with her and I’ll buy you an entire cow.”
* * *
LIVI PACED FROM one end of her living room to the other. She kicked off her sandals, thinking she could move faster barefoot, and resumed pacing. As soon as she hit that side of the room again she slid her feet back into the sandals, needing the little bit of power those couple of inches offered.
She should have met with Mitch the previous night. She’d told her mother she’d talk to him right away. But she’d gotten home and crawled into bed for that nap Pauline had ordered. And the next thing she knew, it was today. Livi had slept around the clock.
The sleep had done her a world of good. She’d obviously needed it. She’d woken refreshed and, for the first time in weeks, filled with energy.
She should have texted Mitch then, instead of waiting until five. But she’d wanted to work through her own feelings first.
Look at me, putting my needs and wants first.
She paced to the other side of the room, stopping at the table to fiddle with the vase of roses and lilies. She ran her fingers over one of the roses. The rich red petals were still silky soft, the scent heady and romantic.
Livi wanted them to last forever.
She’d wanted that night to last, the light, fun, sexily free relationship with Mitch. Where she didn’t have to face choices or make difficult decisions.
She pressed her hand to the flat planes of her stomach, in awe that there was a tiny life growing inside. That she’d be making huge decisions from now on. Everything from what kind of diapers to buy to which schools to live near.
Livi lifted her chin, straightened her shoulders and realized this was it. Time to adjust her big-girl panties, quit hiding behind her shyness and take control of her life.
Starting with her baby’s father.
As she turned to pace again, her hip bumped the table. The vase jostled and one petal fell free. Livi watched it flutter sadly down. Frowning, she looked at the flowers again and saw how many were past their peak. Still lovely, but no longer perfect. Ready to fade and fall away.
That’s what she was afraid of with Mitch, she realized.
What they had was so beautiful, filling her senses and her life with pleasure. She loved him beyond words.
But he’d leave.
Whether it was a tour of duty, a mission in a far-off land, or... Livi’s throat tightened, terror grabbing at her chest as she finally admitted what she’d skimmed so carefully over before. Or he could die.
Livi stared at the petal until the emotions of that image stopped clawing at her heart. They didn’t go away—they simply faded into the background. And they’d always be there, she realized, lifting the petal and rubbing the soft velvet against her lips.
So was her shyness, but she’d learned she could handle that. Not make it go away, but live with it, flourish despite it. It’d be the same with the fear for Mitch’s life.
Livi tapped the petal against her cheek and thought of Mitch’s advice. What did she need? What did she want?
Him. It was that simple.
Was she going to let fear stop her? Would she hold back because she was worried about how he’d react when she made her demand that they spend the rest of their lives loving each other?
Nope. She was going for it. She believed in miracles now. Who was to say she couldn’t have more?
As if it’d been waiting for just that question, the doorbell rang. Deep breath, shoulders back, bright smile.
Time to rock and roll.
But when she pulled open the door and saw Mitch’s face, she mostly wanted to cut and run.
He was so gorgeous. Super Hottie, his blue eyes piercing and his perfect smile in place. Suddenly all of the hurt she’d felt at his accusations hit her again. Every doubt, every worry. And she thought she was going to tell this man what she wanted and expect him to simply follow along?
She was an idiot.
“You’re so beautiful,” Mitch said, his greeting as intense as the look in his eyes. He handed her a rose. Its perfect petals still closed tight, the fragrance filled the entry. Livi’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry.”
Her gaze flew to his.
“I wanted to tell you that before I came in, so we’re not dancing around it,” he said with a shrug. “I behaved like an ass the other day. I’m sorry.”
Oh. Livi melted. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, declare everything peachy keen and haul him off to bed.
But that wasn’t the answer. And he might not even want to be hauled off, stripped naked and seduced.
She looked at the rose again and sighed.
He’d apologized for his behavior. That didn’t mean he didn’t believe the things he’d said.
“Please, come in.” Her smile only trembled a little. “We’ll talk.”
By the time they crossed the short d
istance to the couch, Livi’s nerves were stretched so tight she had to remind herself to breathe. But it didn’t matter how many deep breaths she took—the spots in front of her eyes were still dancing in time with the buzzing in her ears.
Just get it over with, she decided as she sat down.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said, the words coming out in a rush of air.
“Actually, I’d like to have my say first if you don’t mind.” His face set, Mitch looked like he was about to go into battle. He kept a distance between them when he sat, his body language aloof.
But... She did mind. She had no idea when the best time was to tell a man that oops, he’s about to be a father. But the expression on his face was ominous, so she was pretty sure it wasn’t right after he ended the relationship.
She couldn’t find her voice, and none of the practiced words were coming to mind. So she simply folded her hands in her lap and nodded, hoping she’d figure out how to tell him before he got to good-bye.
“I have strong feelings for you,” he said quietly. “Feelings that are at odds with the very specific path I’d planned for my life. Actually, that I’d planned with a great deal of influence from others. But however it came about, my career has always been my highest priority and the idea of asking someone to take a backseat to that priority didn’t seem fair.”
Livi wanted to tell him that every relationship had elements that weren’t fair. But his point was too valid to dismiss that lightly.
“I realized a few things over the last couple of weeks, though,” he continued, still using that quiet, unemotional tone. “Looking back, I realize I’ve fashioned much of my career around what others think. Whenever I reached one of those forks in the road, I asked myself which direction would make me look better. I let that, instead of my own passions, decide my direction.”
Livi had thought she loved Mitch with all of her heart.
But hearing that, realizing that he had the same issues she did—albeit on a mountain-to-an-anthill scale—she fell for him even harder.
“If you’re looking for someone to condemn that, you’re looking at the wrong woman,” she said with a soft laugh. “Remember me, always putting others’ needs first?”
“Ironic, me lecturing you on that. When it was actually my own dirty little secret,” he confessed, reaching over to take her hands in his. “When I always had it, I never had to admit to myself how much I craved that approval, how important it was to me.”
“And then I came along,” she said quietly. “Me and my videos and my stripper reputation.” Tension tightening her limbs, Livi realized how that must have felt.
Mitch’s eyes met hers, his gaze both rueful and amused.
“Yep, and then you came along. You forced me to see what mattered. That the only approval I should be chasing is my own.” Mitch lifted their hands to his lips, brushing a kiss over her knuckles. “My career matters, Livi. What I do, it is who I am. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be more. That I can’t build a life with someone in addition to having that career.”
Livi held her breath, hoping this was going where she thought it was, but afraid to actually believe it.
“I’ve seen it done. My parents are the perfect example of a military marriage that works.” Mitch shifted closer, skimming the back of his hand over her cheek before cupping her chin. “I love you, Livi. I want to build a life with you. I want to support you and cheer you on, to know you’re doing the same for me.”
“I love you, too,” she admitted with a tremulous smile. Mitch leaned forward, halfway in for the kiss, when Livi remembered her promise to herself. “No, wait.”
“You changed your mind?” he teased. “You really don’t love me?”
“Impossible.” Livi gave a watery laugh. “But I do need something from you.”
“Anything.”
“I need a promise,” she said. “I don’t have to be the most important thing in your life. I don’t want to be your entire focus. What you do, who you are, it makes a difference in the world and we need you.”
Mitch’s smile was a cute combination of gratitude and male ego.
“But I need you to promise that whatever choices you make today, you won’t resent me for them later.” She bit her lip until she was sure her voice wouldn’t shake. “If you think there’s any chance you’ll blame me for hindering your career, that you think our being together might become a roadblock for you, I want you to go now. I won’t hold it against you.”
She’d cry a lot, though. But she’d wait until he was through the door.
“Not going to happen.” Mitch adamantly shook his head.
“Good. Because as you told me to do so many times, I’m embracing my emotions and putting my wants and needs first. And if we stay together, if we’re going to make this work, I’ll be doing just that.” Oh man, here goes. Livi took a long, deep breath and said in a rush, “After all, I have an example to set for my baby.”
“You’re an amazing woman, Livi. Strong and sweet and loving. You deserve to get what you want.” His smile froze, his eyes going blank with shock. Mitch shook his head as if trying to rearrange his thoughts into something that made sense, then leaned back a little. Not far enough to make her worry he was rejecting her. Just enough for him to study her face.
He opened his mouth, but no words came out so he shook his head again.
“I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?” he finally said after clearing his throat.
“I’m pregnant.”
Livi watched his face, desperate for a sign of how he felt about the news. But she couldn’t read anything but surprise in his expression.
Was surprise good? Or bad?
“You’re going to have my baby?” he clarified slowly. His eyes dropped to her flat stomach. When they lifted again, she nodded. “You’re sure?”
He looked as if she’d whacked him upside the head with a barbell. So tense she was afraid she’d explode, Livi nodded again.
Mitch continued to stare. After a few seconds she wondered if maybe she should find a barbell. She had a set of five-pounders in the closet. Then he burst into laughter.
“You’re laughing,” she said blankly. Of all the reactions she’d imagined, none had included that.
“I don’t know anything about kids. Nothing at all about being a father,” he explained, sounding delighted. “This is nowhere on the list of approved actions that will further my career.”
Her teeth clenched tight, Livi decided to get the ten-pound barbell instead.
“It’s perfect,” he continued.
“Perfect...?” She pressed two fingers against her temple, wondering if pregnancy was messing with her comprehension. “You’re going to be a father. Something you’ve had no experience with, have never felt any desire to experience and that many will say could be detrimental to your career. And you think that’s perfect?”
Livi didn’t know why she was trying to talk him out of being thrilled with the news, but something was pushing her to make absolutely sure he was truly happy with the news.
“Absolutely perfect. I came here to tell you I love you. That I want to build a life together with you,” he said, his grin fading into a heartfelt smile. “All this does is make me even more sure that this is perfect. For exactly the reasons you just said. It’s not the easy choice. It’s not the one that will garner the most kudos. But it feels incredible. It feels right.”
And just like that, everything was perfect. Her heart melting at the look in his eyes, Livi finally believed in miracles.
“You’ve given me everything, Livi. More than I even knew I wanted.”
“Everything...?”
Mitch reached out and reverently laid his hand against her stomach where the life they’d created grew. His smile was pure magic as it spread across his gorgeous
face.
“Everything.”
Epilogue
Labor Day
MITCH DONOVAN HAD done a lot of things in his life.
He’d scaled walls and dived to the bottom of the ocean. He’d fought in wars and earned medals. He was a Navy SEAL. The best of the best.
But as he looked in awe at the woman lying on the hospital bed, her temples still beaded with perspiration with her hand tucked in his and a serene smile on her face, he knew the truth.
He had nothing on his wife when it came to heroics.
A couple of nurses bustled in the background, weighing, measuring and cooing. But Mitch only had eyes for Livi.
“That was...” Still in awe, he couldn’t seem to find the right words to express how amazing it’d been to watch Livi bring their child into the world.
“That was fast,” she said with a laugh. She rubbed her cheek against the back of his hand. “And early. I’m so glad you were able to get back in time.”
“Me, too.” Instead of being off on some dangerous mission, he’d been just a short flight away at the training center in Nevada.
Yet another reason to be glad he’d chosen to transfer to Coronado and focus on training his fellow SEALs instead of chasing his way further up the ladder.
Lifting Livi’s hand to his lips, he rubbed a kiss over her knuckles and considered it the smartest career move he’d made.
Mitch had spent most of his life secretly defining himself by his career, using others people’s opinions to gauge whether he was a success or not.
But Livi, at the height of success in her own career, had shown him what really mattered. Instead of putting her fitness videos on hiatus until after the baby was born and then returning to what she knew everyone expected of her, she’d completely revamped Stripped Down Fitness. What had started as an idea for a pregnancy workout video soon turned into a thrice-weekly cable series focusing on The Body Babe’s renowned no muss, no fuss style workouts for every woman, at every stage of her life. As soon as she’d come up with the concept, she’d brainstormed with Pauline ways to make it accessible, worked through every challenge, including her own shyness, to launch Stages.
