by Cora Brent
“Thanks Chase,” I said, standing. “I need to get on the road now.”
“All right, man,” he nodded, rising to offer me a hearty backslap. “One more thing,” he added, a little reluctantly.
“What’s that?”
He hesitated for a second, then broke into a smile. “If Aunt Isobel was here, she’d be damn proud of you.”
I wanted to believe that was true about my mother, that if she could look at me today she wouldn’t just see a crude and hardened man, but the son she’d always loved and prayed for. Yes, I realized. Chase was right. Isobel saw the best in people when it was there to be seen. I wished I could offer Chase the same comfort about his mother, but I wasn’t sure it was accurate. Maybe Maggie had never been the carefree darling I worshipped when I was too much of a child to understand the complicated nature of people.
“Ride safe,” Chase called as I headed out.
“I will,” I called back and closed the door.
Traffic was predictably light on the road back to Emblem. I thought about Jenny. This time there was no conflicting guilt, none of the bullshit fear that I would manage to mess her up. It was time to let go of the past, both hers and mine. Maybe we made no sense on paper but who the fuck ever allowed the heart to be lead around by paper? For a long time I’d figured what was left of my heart wasn’t worth salvaging. But now I knew that one beautiful, spirited woman was capable of changing that. I’d been wrong to think that Jenny would just have forgotten about me and that I could have gotten her out of my head. Hell, I might just lasso the goddamn moon for that girl and then break my own back to keep it.
I slowed down as I approached Emblem, noting the prison, the Dirty Cactus, Carson’s Garage, all the usual landmarks that awaited. I had meant what I said to Chase; this would be the last time.
Carson removed himself from the guts of a Dodge pickup when I drove up. He gave me a friendly though obscene greeting and hadn’t heard a thing about any trouble at Benton’s. I didn’t volunteer the details and he was shrewd enough not to ask. I tossed him a set of keys and explained that I needed a car moved up to Tempe.
“Sure,” he shrugged. “I’ll tell the kid to go up there with one of his buddies.”
“Thanks,” I muttered and tried to offer him money, which he refused to take. “Hey, I don’t know when I’ll be back down this way.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “You moving on?”
“You could say that.”
“Well, all right then. You’ve still got a stake here so I’ll keep collecting and I’ll get you your share. Just let me know where to send it.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
He reached out a hand and we shook warmly. “Sorry to see you go. Running a little thin on good news these days. You know, Royner’s cancer is back.”
The update depressed me. “No, I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “it’s a bitch. Charlie though, he’s a hell of a puzzle. You know what he said to me the other day? He said something like, ‘We’ve all just got this one fucking ride on the carousel and if some son of a bitch tries to kick us off before it stops turning we ought to hang onto the pole with all our might and refuse to let go.’”
“Charlie’s a hell of a wise man.”
Carson guffawed. “Must be all those years of listening to a million and one stories of Emblem bullshit.”
“Must be.” I swung one leg over my bike and fired it to life. “I’ll see you, Carson.”
“So long, Gentry.”
Quent’s Prius was just where Jenny had crookedly parked it beside my trailer. That much was a relief; there was never any way to predict what kind of mischief Benton would get into his head. Suddenly wary and cursing myself a little for not thinking about it before, I made a stop at my trailer and collected an old Glock pistol I kept taped to the bottom of the bed. After sticking it in the waist band of my jeans and covering the shape with my shirt, I approached Benton’s with caution, knowing if he felt like imitating Uncle Foster and squeezing off a few shotgun rounds, I was not especially prepared.
At first there was no answer when I knocked. The door rattled under my knuckles and echoed into silence. Then, finally, I heard the distinct sound of shuffling steps approaching the door. When Benton opened up he looked pretty gruesome; the whole right side of his head was purple where I’d landed the most hits. One eye was swollen shut and an inadequate bandage covered a cut that likely needed stitches. His other eye regarded me balefully.
“What the fuck you want? You’re damn lucky I didn’t call the law out here, boy.”
“Sure, because the law is always on the side of would-be rapists.”
He hissed and kicked at the door. “I never did a thing to that little bitch. She-“
“Careful,” I warned, my fists tightening. “Or I’ll finish what I fucking started yesterday.”
Benton blinked at me with one eye. “That so? Well fuck you then.” He walked away from the door, retreating back to the gloomy interior. I followed him.
There was a pile of assorted blood-stained rags and paper towels on the kitchen table. Benton sank heavily into the lone chair and fixed me with an accusatory glare. Maggie sat on the soiled sofa, her sketch pad in her hands and a vacant look on her face that said she was likely high, not that it made much difference at this point.
I didn’t bother to find a seat. I wouldn’t be staying long.
“Won’t be seeing you anymore,” I said quietly.
Benton picked up a dirty towel wrapped around some ice. He held it to his swollen jaw. “Well, that’ll just break my goddamn heart, Deck.” Then he laughed and cursed, holding his ribs, as the laugh caused a flash of pain. “You know, next week I think I’ll take a ride up to Tempe, go find my boys. Cordero’s about to be a daddy and all.”
You goddamn bastard.
He was baiting me. I had no doubt Benton was spiteful enough to go after the triplets. He would start with Cord, likely provoking him into a confrontation somehow, in the process devastating Saylor and possibly destroying their little family. He would absolutely fucking do it. I pulled out my wallet and removed every bit of cash, a considerable amount.
“You stay the fuck out of there and I’ll keep the gravy coming. Otherwise, you can wallow in your own shit.” I stalked over to the kitchen table and tossed the cash atop the blood-stained rags. Benton grinned, showing two of his teeth had been knocked clean out. In all my life I knew I would never feel such pure disgust for another human being as I felt for my uncle and I wanted him to know it. I crossed my arms and glared down at him. “I never understood why the hell my father bothered with you. You’ve never been anything but an evil shit to anyone unlucky enough to meet you.”
I didn’t expect Benton would be particularly moved by my words, or jolted by the mention of his dead older brother. But his gleeful laugh caught me off guard.
“Your father,” he chuckled. His one blue eye regarded me merrily. “And what did Isobel have to say about me?”
“You’d better shut your sick ass mouth when it comes to my mother.”
He acted like I hadn’t spoken. “She ever tell you that Chrome wasn’t the first Gentry she met? Naw, she was cleaning crappers at the Sonoran Motel and I was working grounds security at night while I was in my last days at the high school.”
General uneasiness pricked at me. “So what? What the hell are you babbling about?”
Benton shrugged. “So I got there first is all. She couldn’t hardly speak no fucking English but she was all eager and shit so I dipped in there. Damn, what a tight little thing she was! Then Chrome blew back into town, scooped her up and that was that.” He paused for dramatic effect. I couldn’t even draw a breath. Benton’s voice lowered to a hideous whisper as he leaned forward. “And you know what, Declan? I always wondered if you were mine.”
Jesus.
I had to leave. I had to leave right this fucking second or I would be a murderer. My hand began traveling to the gun beneath my shir
t. I could feel it happening, could already hear the shots ringing out in my own mind. Then I heard something else.
“I’m crazy about you too, Declan.”
Slowly I dropped my hand back to my side. There was a woman waiting for me, a life waiting for me. These people could have the sick, lonesome world they’d created for themselves. Every beat of my heart sounded like a cannon. The screech of the rusted hinges was thunderous as I opened the front door. I only turned around one last time.
“Goodbye, Maggie,” I said with quiet finality.
She didn’t answer. Benton was beckoning to her. She went to him like a dog to its master. I closed the door behind me.
My lungs didn’t completely fill with air again until I was back on the road. I wouldn’t think about what Benton had said. I wouldn’t ever fucking think about it again. I was going to Jenny. I was going home.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
JENNY
Walking back to Deck’s hotel suite after my last class, I was glad I had done something productive with my day. I couldn’t bear for him to think of me as the kind of the girl who would sit around, waiting. I certainly couldn’t bear to actually be that girl. I hadn’t heard from him since this morning but the time was only half past three and he had said he wouldn’t return until evening. Earlier, when I’d risked a visit to my room to collect a few things, Ally was stretched out on her bed. She looked up from her laptop and watched me for a few minutes but was silent. When I left I did not say goodbye.
I started hurrying when I got close to the hotel. It felt so strange, and so right, to be rushing to the place where I would soon rejoin my lover. There had been no words spoken about any plans after today and that was fine for the moment. I didn’t expect him to declare undying love for me. It was enough, for now, just to know that he would be returning. Even though it was early, I wanted to have some time to get prettied up before I saw Deck again. When I slid the card key through the lock and pushed the door open I was a little surprised to see him inside, sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark.
“Hey,” I said, flipping on a light.
Deck raised his head but didn’t stand up. “Hey,” he answered coolly. He didn’t open his arms or give me any other sign that he wanted me to go to him.
“You okay?” I asked, dropping my backpack and sitting carefully beside him on the bed. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until later.”
Deck lifted my chin and ran a thumb over my lower lip. He was unshaven, had discarded his leather jacket and was dressed in old jeans with a shabby heavy metal band t-shirt he wore regularly. In short, he was as blindingly sexy as ever.
“It is later,” he said, still running his thumb over my mouth, his voice heavy with the rasp of unmistakable lust.
I swallowed, suddenly nervous. Declan was a man. He was a man who had evidently been with many women. He would have expectations, maybe ones I wouldn’t know how to fulfill. None of these thoughts were new to me, considering all the times we’d nearly had sex. I even knew the shape of his dick and the feel of it in my mouth. I knew what it felt like to grind against his hard body until I reached a shattering orgasm. But Deck had always taken care, exercising restraint when we were together. That restraint, I knew, was about to end. I couldn’t wait for what would come next.
I flicked my tongue out, licking the tip of his thumb and then sucking on the end of it for a few seconds as his breathing grew heavier. Then I took his hand away, cupping it between my own and kissing the palm gently.
“Everything, huh?” I reminded him.
But Deck didn’t need to be reminded.
“Yes,” he said with finality and stood up, looming over me aggressively.
I stayed seated on the edge of the bed and lifted the bottom of his shirt, running my hands over his rock solid abdomen. Deck pulled the shirt off impatiently, tearing it slightly in the process. He threw it aside, exposing the riot of ink on his arms, his chest, his stomach. My god, the sight of him had the power to take my breath away every single time. I was eye level with his belt and I could clearly see the bulge of his dick so I leaned forward and brushed my lips against it, feeling it harden even more beneath the fabric. Declan grabbed my head, stroking my face lightly with his thumbs as he pressed my cheek against his crotch. Then he tilted my head back, far enough so that I was looking up into his face. The look in his eyes was wild.
“I had an idea once,” he growled with fiery intensity. “You want to hear what it was, Jenny?”
“Yes,” I managed to squeak out, my arms circling his hips as he held my head at his waist.
Deck smiled and in one effortless motion reached beneath my casual t-shirt. It was off my body in a heartbeat. He slid my bra straps down and pushed me back onto the bed with one hand while he unzipped my pants with the other.
“I was gonna wreck you to the point where no other man would ever do it for you, where no other dick would ever measure up. Believe me, I know how.”
“I believe you,” I whispered, trembling as he pulled my jeans down.
“Don’t help me,” he said gruffly when I squirmed with impatience, trying to get rid of my clothes more quickly. I stopped and let him undress me the way he wanted. Deck ran his big hands up and down my bare legs, pulled my knees up and parted them, settling himself in the middle. I needed to spread so goddamn wide I wondered if he would be too much, if it would hurt at all. Declan was a big man stacked with so much solid muscle that just looking at all of him sent a wild bolt of arousal through me. I felt my body opening, getting ready for him. Holy hell, I ached.
“No more, Jennetta,” he growled as he got rid of his own pants and crawled on top of me. “No more dry grinding, finger fucking or blow jobs. Tonight I’m going all in and once I get there I don’t know how to fucking stop.” He brushed his lips over mine, teasing as I quivered. “But I swear to god baby, you won’t want me to.”
“Yes,” I cried, getting desperate as I tried to squeeze my knees around him to bring him closer, anything to end the agonized throbbing that consumed me. I would beg if he wanted me to.
Deck wanted something different though. He looked right into my eyes. “Jenny,” he said as I felt the tip of his massive, hard dick pressing into my flesh, “You know I’m a hell of a lot stronger than you. And when I get inside that hot pussy I’m damn well gonna be the one in charge. But baby, there’s nothing you can’t ask me for, nothing I won’t do to make it good for you. You can have anything you want, you understand?” He kissed me with bold, unapologetic passion. “Anything,” he whispered. Deck’s words, coupled with the erotic feel of his tongue, was nearly enough to send me spiraling. I bucked underneath him, clenching my thighs around his body. I needed to come so badly.
Declan broke the kiss. “Wait,” he whispered, running his tongue over my neck and grabbing a small nearby object. “You’ll come so much better if you wait.”
“Deck,” I whimpered, clutching his back and moving my hips harder, “I can’t wait. I can’t.”
I felt his hands between us as he slid on a condom. Then he reached underneath me, lifting me up several inches as his strong fingers massaged and squeezed. He didn’t say another word before he entered me. A gasp ripped from my throat as he plunged brazenly deep.
Holy shit, this is what I’ve been missing! How the hell does anyone hold back?
There was nothing else like it. Anything we’d physically shared so far paled in comparison to the raw force of this hard invasion. He withdrew and teased my entrance before he thrust again. I arched my back, moaning over the way my nipples scraped against his hard chest. Deck was propping himself up on his forearms, trying not to crush me beneath his weight as he began thrusting in earnest, our bodies working together frantically. His rhythm was fast and deliberate, the product of vast experience that I couldn’t even fathom.
“Fuck,” he cursed through clenched teeth as his skin grew slick with sweat, “Girl, if I’d known you felt this goddamn incredible I wouldn’t have been abl
e to stop myself.”
“Well don’t stop now,” I pleaded, straining beneath him.
His black hair fell into his eyes and he smiled down at me with the same half smirk that he usually wore. He slowed down and raised an eyebrow. “This time it’s my way. Get fucking used to it.”
I spread my legs wider and clutched at his waist, trying to force him in deeper and harder because I was close, so close to exploding, but he’d chosen that moment to intentionally back off. “Damn you,” I complained, writhing in an effort to get what I needed.
Deck let out a wild dose of laughter and leaned close to my ear, speaking in a thick whisper that made me shudder with desire. “Shut up, and stop fidgeting goddammit. You’ll let yourself go when I fucking make you.” The second the last word left his lips Deck began pumping hard again with rough, deep thrusts. I bit off my own scream as everything inside of me shattered, liquefied and trembled. Somewhere along the way I closed my eyes. When I opened them again his eyes were fixed on my face and it wasn’t the first time I’d noticed that Deck Gentry had the darkest, most impenetrable eyes I’d ever seen. They burned now; with hunger, with triumph, with sheer crude dominance. Then he threw his head back, let out a deep-throated groan and gave himself over to the tremors that shook us both as we clutched at each other and shouted with incoherent passion.
“You were right,” I panted as he collapsed beside me.
Deck pulled the condom off and tossed it in a nearby garbage can. “Of course I was,” he said mildly and propped himself up on one elbow with a maddening grin as his other hand explored my breasts.
“Quit gloating,” I grumbled as I tried to pull the fluffy comforter over my body. Deck promptly pulled the blanket away and continued fondling me. “Cut it out, I’m cold.”
He rolled over on top of my body, gently though so that he wouldn’t crush my chest with the weight of all that muscle. “Hush honey, I’ll keep you warm.”
