by Lexy Timms
I pause, seeing a file with the name Clare Ferguson. One look at the picture and I know exactly who she is.
Oh, shit.
“Clarissa’s mother was one of the research subjects,” Sebastian says. “It’s likely she was abducted while she was here in Africa. They administered the serum to her.”
My mouth gapes, my mind occupied with the image of Clarissa’s mother tied to a bed, doctors sticking needles into her.
“Shit.”
“She wasn’t fully aware of it,” Toshi adds. “The Cat I interrogated swore the mothers were given the best care and that they were mostly unconscious. He probably thought that bit of information would save him but he was wrong.”
“The Council approved of this?” Theo asks.
“No,” Sebastian answers. “A group of Cats did it without the knowledge of the Council, which is why the Council shut it down.”
“So, Clarissa is...?” I glance at her mother’s file. “She’s compatible with primals?”
Sebastian nods. “That’s why she shares some of our abilities – speed, strength, healing, telepathy, camouflage, heightened senses. You should have seen her fight. She exceeded my expectations.”
“And mine,” Toshi adds, whistling. “She was....” The word he used was something Japanese. Something I couldn’t catch, but the meaning was clear. Cool. Amazing. Something...unexpected.
I’d known that about her all along.
So I ignore him. “That means, she’s practically half primal, right?”
“We don’t know exactly how much,” Sebastian answers. “All we know is that the serum was designed to make a human compatible with a primal. The primal abilities are probably a side effect.”
“And how do you know exactly that this project was successful?” I stand up straight. “That Clarissa is who you say she is, or is supposed to be?”
“We don’t know for sure if the project was successful,” Sebastian says. “But Clarissa’s mother was the only one who survived it. Clarissa is the only baby born that lived.”
“Shit.”
“Wait,” Theo says. “You said the project was shut down?”
“By the Council, yes,” Sebastian replies.
“So, how come Clarissa’s mother was not taken under custody of the Council?” Theo asks.
Good question.
“The file says she’s deceased,” Toshi says. “But obviously, she isn’t, which means the Cats who were running Project Eden probably knew the Council was coming for them. They hid Clare’s existence and let her go, probably thinking that later on, they’d come back for her. But she was rescued and brought to America where they were detained by the Council. By the time they could come back for Clare, she had already died giving birth. They probably thought the baby died as well.”
“But the baby survived,” I say, closing the folder and letting it fall to my lap. “Clarissa survived and was adopted by her mother’s best friend.”
“Which the Cats didn’t know,” Sebastian adds. “They didn’t know about Clarissa until we started asking questions.”
“You mean until you started asking,” I sneer at him. “This is all your fault.”
“She deserved to know the truth,” Sebastian mutters, angry, defensive.
“And what good has the truth done to her, huh?” I try to push Sebastian back. “Look at her.”
“Why? What does she look like?” Theo asks. He doesn’t sound happy.
“She’s a ghost,” I say. Then I shake my head. “No. At least, ghosts are souls. Clarissa doesn’t have a soul left in her. She’s...broken, empty.”
“What?” Theo’s voice rises.
“Calm down.” Toshi stands up. “She’s shell-shocked, yes. Anyone would be. But she’ll recover.”
“Are you sure?” I whirl around to face him. “Because I’m not.”
“She will be fine,” Sebastian says.
I point a finger at him. “You’d love to see her get better, don’t you? Because then you could fuck her since you happen to be compatible and all. After all, it’s what you’ve been wanting to do. I bet you must be happy to...”
He pushes me off and I land on the bed. I pick myself up quickly, though, going at him with clenched fists.
“Whoa!” Toshi stands between us. “Now is not the time to fight.”
“If punching me will make you feel better, go ahead,” Sebastian taunts me. “It won’t hurt a bit.”
I glare at him, my nails digging into my palms, my heart pounding so hard I fear it might burst any second.
“Guys,” Theo speaks.
Toshi grabs my shoulder. Holding me back before I do something stupid. “Easy, Kyle.”
I shrug his hand off. “What? Don’t you say I’m wrong or pretend you don’t feel the same. You all feel the same. You all just want to fuck her now that you know she’s a universal broodmare.”
“Stop it, Kyle,” Theo warns. “You’re not helping.”
“Fine, I’ll admit it,” Toshi tells me. “I want her, but then, I wanted her even before I learned all about this fucked up Eden stuff.”
Sebastian growls.
“And so do you,” Toshi adds.
I snort. “I’m her best friend.”
Toshi chuckles. “Who’s pretending now?”
This time it’s him I try to punch, but he dodges.
“Missed,” he teases, grinning.
I rub my fist. “Why, you...”
“Stop it, all of you!” Theo shouts. “We should be thinking right now of Clarissa’s safety and nothing else.”
“He’s right,” Sebastian says. “One of those Cats said someone will come for Clarissa. He said they’re too powerful and she’s too precious. We have to come up with a plan to protect her.”
“Oh, now you want to protect her,” I sneer. “After putting her in danger.”
“Kyle!” I barely even hear Theo’s shout.
“It would be nice to have the calm and smart Kyle back about right now,” Toshi says.
I glare at him.
I still want to punch him but I, too, know Theo’s right. We shouldn’t be squabbling right now. We shouldn’t let our egos or testosterone take over. As much as I hate it, we should be working together for Clarissa’s sake, to keep her out of the hands of those...monsters. They had their way with Clarissa’s mother. They can’t have their way with her.
I sit at the edge of the bed, and take a deep breath.
“What about telling the Council?” Theo suggests. “They’ll be able to protect her.”
“Who’s the Council again?” I ask.
“It’s made up of leaders from every race,” Sebastian explains. “They’re our government. They make the rules and enforce them, punish those who go against them.”
Sounds like the government, alright.
“But if we hand Clarissa over to the Council, who’s to say they’ll protect her?” Toshi shrugs as he leans on the desk. “Didn’t the Cats keep the existence of Clarissa’s mother a secret precisely because they were afraid that the Council would...kill her? What if they think Clarissa is a loose end? You know what the Council does to loose ends.”
He has a point.
“The Council may be powerful,” Sebastian says, stepping forward. “But we can’t trust them.”
“I agree.” I stand up. “We can’t hand Clarissa over to them.”
“You know we can’t keep secrets from the Council,” Theo points out.
“We’ll do our best,” Sebastian says. “And face the consequences if we fail.”
“I can hide Clarissa,” I volunteer. “There’s a place my uncle left me. It’s by a lake and it’s pretty secluded. I added a new security system to the property, too, the last time I was there. I’m a human so no one can fault me for hiding her.”
“We’re not just hiding her. We’re protecting her,” Toshi reminds. “No offense but we don’t think you can do that, kiddo.”
I frown. But again, he’s right. I am only human.
> “Like you said, I put Clarissa in danger,” Sebastian says. “I’ll do anything to protect her.”
“As will I,” Theo swears. “Tell me where the place is and I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
“Count me in,” Toshi pipes in. “I’m not about to let you guys have all the fun.”
I sigh. I guess there’s no shaking off these three.
Suddenly, we hear Clarissa scream.
At once, Toshi is gone, in the next room. Sebastian, too.
I follow them, a distant third, rushing to Clarissa who’s sitting up on the bed, shaking and sweating from her nightmare.
“Shh.” I wrap my arms around her, stroking her hair, amazed the others haven’t jumped in for comfort duty since they were here first. But I notice the way they look at each other and then back at me and realize they’re doing this for her, allowing her the most familiar thing in the room as a solace. I can live with that.
I wish I could tell her the nightmare is over but I know it isn’t. I wish I could tell her everything’s alright but it isn’t.
There’s only one thing I can say, the only thing I can assure her of.
“I’m here, Clarissa,” I whisper. “I’ll never leave you.”
She says nothing but eventually, calms down, falling back asleep.
I lay her down on the bed, pulling the sheets over her.
“Is she alright?” I hear Theo ask.
Toshi goes into the next room. “Yes, Clarissa’s fine. We’ll call you again soon.” He comes back, tucking his phone in his pocket. “I’ll check around.”
Sebastian nods. “I’ll be just outside the door.”
After they both leave, I watch over Clarissa, a pang in my heart.
I meant what I said. I’m never leaving her. She may not be entirely human. She might have been ‘created’ to be a broodmare, but she is my best friend.
And I love her.
Which is why I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s safe and well, even if that means letting others protect her.
And when all this is over, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s happy again.
Even if that means letting someone else have her.
I stroke her cheek as a tear trickles down mine.
“I’d do anything for you, Clarissa.”
Chapter Nineteen
~ Toshi
NOTHING.
I’ve been patrolling the perimeter of Kyle’s lakeside property for the past few hours and I haven’t seen any sign of any intruders, or even any unusual activity for that matter.
The surface of the lake lies still like a sheet of glass, glistening under the moonlight. Around it, the leaves of the trees rustle each time the breeze blows, the chirping of insects and the howling of a wolf in the distant mountains adding to the evening orchestra.
All clear.
I glance back at the house, picking up the sound of Kyle’s even breathing. He’s asleep. I hear Sebastian, too, his bare feet scuffling across the wooden floor in front of the crackling fire. He’s pacing the room. Restless. Anxious. I know the feeling well.
And Clarissa?
Nothing from her, which lets me think that she’s still staring into space. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s better than crying.
I decide to check on her just to make sure she’s okay, popping into her room through the open window.
As I perch on the sill, I find her sitting on the floor beside her bed, her knees pressed to her chest and her chin between them.
I think of leaving her alone but I can’t. Not anymore.
“Hey.” I scratch the back of my neck, suddenly awkward and unsure. Maybe she doesn’t want me. “Mind if I join you?”
She doesn’t answer, not even turning her head to look at me, as if she didn’t hear me at all.
I sigh but take her silence as a yes, sitting beside her. She doesn’t move away or push me away so at least, it wasn’t a no.
“I’m not going to say I know it’s hard,” I start. “I’ve always known who I was, I was born this way and still, there were times I cursed this existence and found it hard to accept. I know, I know. It’s cool to live so long and do extraordinary things but not really when most of the people you share the planet with aren’t like that. I don’t really have friends. Cats are, well, loners and I can’t really have human friends. I mean I know several humans and hang out with some but I can’t really call them friends. Actually, I’ve never stuck around others so long until now, even though it’s only been a few days. And if friendship is so hard, just imagine having a serious, romantic relationship.”
I rest my head on the edge of the bed, staring at the ceiling. “I’m not trying to defend those Cats. What they did was cruel, way too cruel even for a Cat, but I understand why they did it. They said it’s because they want to make sure all the races survive, which I know is a lie because let’s face it – Cats are selfish. The project was meant to benefits Cats only and the Cats probably just said it was for everyone to try to make the cause sound more noble and maybe get more support. After all, we Cats have the smallest female population. Don’t ask me why. No one knows why fewer and fewer females are being born. Some say it’s the course of nature, that we’re meant to go extinct, that our time is over. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we’ve been on this earth far too long, outlived our purpose, whatever that is.”
I glance at Clarissa, waiting, hoping for a reaction but there isn’t any. I don’t even know if she’s listening but I continue anyway.
“Anyway, like I said, that’s just a big lie, or at least, not the entire truth. We want the race to survive, of course, but more than that, maybe we just want more of us, more beings we can be with. Is that wrong? Yeah, we act cool and all, act like we don’t care but something tells me we’re the loneliest of all.”
Maybe it’s because she doesn’t seem to be listening but the words are coming out more easily than they ever have.
“You know, some of us get so lonely that they forsake their animal sides and decide to pretend to be human altogether just so they can be with humans,” I continue. “They have relationships with humans even though they know it’s impossible to have offspring, even though they end up being treated like outcasts and feeling like outcasts, never really truly belonging anywhere. Then again, without a mate, you don’t feel like you belong anywhere, either. But that’s not the hardest part. The hardest is that often, these Cats who take human mates have to watch their mates become pregnant and have children and pretend to be happy, pretend that the children are theirs, when in fact, they’re not. The females who really want children undergo artificial insemination, thinking that it will solve the fertility issues and the male Cats agree, of course, but then, during the process, they make sure a human sample is used. Otherwise, the process has no chance of success. The females end up happy but the Cats end up feeling even more alienated.”
This time, Clarissa moves, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees. I can’t really call it a reaction but it gives me hope she’s listening, or starting to.
“At least, that’s what I thought,” I go on, fidgeting with my nails. “I thought those are the worst feelings in the world. All I ever wanted was to feel I’m not alone, to have a mate of my own. Traditionally, Cats share mates, you know. A male can have several mates and so can females, which is encouraged now more than ever because of the dwindling population. But I’ve never wanted that. I wanted someone I can call my own. And you know what? When I met you, I thought there was someone. I thought that maybe there was hope for me too.”
I turn to face her. “Clarissa, I didn’t know what you were then but even then, I knew you were special. When I was with you, laughing with you, having those fun adventures and those serious conversations with you, for the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t alone. I felt alive. I found my purpose and a place where I could belong.”
Her lips part and I wait for her to say something but instead, she purses them.
“Th
at time, I finally understood why so many male Cats live like humans and take human mates,” I go on. “They don’t feel alienated or lonely. They are happy because their mates are happy. I was happy with you. And all I wanted was for you to be happy. All I wanted was you. Yeah, I was willing to give up everything for you. I didn’t care if you were human. You were never an ordinary human to me.”
As I reach for her hand, Clarissa lifts her head, turning to meet my gaze. When she still says nothing, I continue.
“Now, you may not be who you thought you were, Clarissa but you’re still you and I still want to be with you. I want to be by your side and I want you to be by mine. You gave me a new purpose. Let me give you yours. Let me...”
“Toshi!” I suddenly hear Sebastian calling from outside the window.
I roll my eyes. Talk about timing. What does the fucking mutt need now?
“Toshi!”
I squeeze Clarissa’s hand. “I’ll be right back.” I head to the window, looking out. “You don’t have to shout, you know. I can hear you perfectly. What do you want?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest.
Who does he think he is?
“If you’re so worried, why don’t you patrol?” I throw the question back at him.
Sebastian growls. “Stop bothering Clarissa.”
“Oh, that’s what bothering you, isn’t it?” I, too, cross my arms over my chest. “You heard me talking to her and you couldn’t stand it so you decided to rudely interrupt.”
“Don’t be selfish, Toshi,” he says. “You’re not supposed to be burdening her with your feelings.”
Burdening her? I chuckle.
“It’s not funny,” Sebastian says through gritted teeth.
I turn serious. “Oh, I’m very serious about my feelings. Why don’t you just admit you’re jealous because I actually have the courage to tell her how I feel and you don’t?”
His arms fall to his sides, his shoulders heaving. “I’m not.”
