by Adam Kunz
“A while, but if I just wanted to have sex, I could’ve just pursued Jared.”
“Well, at least go talk to Brent. You don’t have to sleep with him, even though it may do you some good. Besides, I may have told him you’d be down to chat after you’ve had a shower,” she says with a sheepish look and a toothy smile.
“Thanks, Nia. You’ve been a real help yet again,” I say with a hint of sarcasm.
“That’s what I’m here for,” she replies while patting my leg. “Now hurry. Go get in the shower and don’t make a liar out of me.”
After my shower, I head downstairs to find Nia, Emma, and Colton standing in the kitchen looking out the window toward the barn.
“What are you guys doing?” I ask, coming up to join them.
“They’re appreciating nature,” Colton replies.
“AKA, gawking at the boys outside playing with their new toys,” Emma adds.
Nia scoffs. “Hardly gawking. I prefer the term admiring. Anyway, don’t you have a certain someone you should be talking to right now?” she says in a pointed tone while letting her section of the blinds snap shut.
“I’m going, I’m going. You don’t have to be so pushy,” I giggle. “Has there been any word from Trevor?”
“Nope. Not a one. I’m just going to blame it on cold feet. I’m tired of being sad while we’re out here at this beautiful place. We’ve got one more day, and I’m going to enjoy it, dammit,” Colton explains in a happier tone than he’s had in the past couple of days without the assistance of alcohol and junk food.
“We’re going to have a day in while the guys are out playing in the snow,” Emma says, but sounds distracted by the scene outside.
“Sounds fun. I wish I could join, but someone,” I say while glaring teasingly at Nia, “told Brent I’d go talk with him. There’s no telling how long this is going to take.”
“Oh, you know you want to go chat with tall, blond, and handsome out there,” Nia replies with a hand on her hip. “I just did you a solid and moved things along.” She shoos me away with the back of her hand.
“You’re right,” I reply, backing out of the kitchen toward the foyer. Grabbing my coat that’s hung on the rack, I head out of the house.
The snow crunches beneath my feet as I trudge through it toward the barn. Approaching the group of guys huddled around four snowmobiles, two white and two black, I can hear the excitement in their voices about taking them out for a spin. The conversation ceases when I reach them.
“No need to stop your boy bonding on my account,” I laugh.
“Hey, Laney. Wanna go riding with us?” Noah asks while snapping on a pair of ski goggles.
“Yeah, you should come. There’s one more with your name on it,” Tee says as he straddles one of the snowmobiles.
I look over to Jared and he nods at me with a half-smile. “It’d be fun,” he says, his smirk turning into a big grin.
“Maybe next time, guys. I think I’m gonna hang out here and watch a few chick flicks while stuffing my face with the rest of the girls ... and Colton.”
I hear the sound of the snowmobile engines rumble on after Tee and Noah groan at the thought of being subjected to those movies. “Suit yourself. You don’t know what you’re missing,” Noah shouts before speeding off. Tee and Jared follow right after.
“Did you get my text last night?” Brent asks out of the blue, drawing my attention to him.
“Yeah, I did,” I say and then pause. When he’s about to say something else, I cut him off and ask, “So, why’d you leave? Was it something I said?”
“No. Well ... maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“When I went home after bumping into you yesterday, I was in one of the best moods I’ve been in for a while. I never thought I’d see you again, and then there you were. The feeling faded pretty quickly though, because part of me wanted things to immediately go back to when we were seventeen and start all over. But the other part of me was hesitant. I almost didn’t show up last night. I lied. I didn’t have to check on a property for another family, I was just fighting with myself on whether or not I should see you again,” he explains, combing his hand through his short, dirty-blond hair. He flashes his hazel eyes at me and there’s a hint of sadness in them.
“Funny, that’s the same reason I didn’t text you back last night. I was hesitant too.”
I pause, thinking back to one of the many times he came to my rescue. My parents were going through a rocky patch and talks of divorce were on the table. Brent had this flawed but sweet idea for the two of us to move into his treehouse in order to get away from the adults. He was always coming up with stuff like that, and I guess that’s why I took it so hard when he wasn’t there for me the night I was attacked. I was so used to him being there for me.
Thoughts of last night enter my mind out of nowhere, and I ask, “Hey, sidebar, did you lock Jared and I in the barn last night as a joke?”
His brow furrows, accompanying his look of confusion. “No, why? Did that happen?”
“Yeah, but I guess it must’ve just been the wind then,” I reply with a shrug, but deep down that explanation doesn’t fully satisfy me.
“Well, it was really bad last night, so it’s possible,” he says nonchalantly. “I had a hell of a time driving home through it that’s for sure.”
Pushing aside every possible explanation I could formulate in my mind for how the barn door closed, I ask, “So, why did you come back here today? Was it just to show the guys the snowmobiles?”
“No. That was actually a coincidence. I woke up this morning with an overwhelming need to see you, so I stopped by. The guys found the snowmobiles and asked me about them. They were wondering where the keys were and if they could take them out for a test drive,” he replies with a smile.
His explanation has me grinning like an idiot, and for a moment I feel like we’re teenagers all over again. “Oh, I see.”
“Hey, want to go for a ride?” he asks, pointing to the remaining snowmobile. “I actually do have to check on one of the houses for a family today. I could use the company,” he says and his eyes shimmer bright in the winter sun without any trace of their previous sadness.
“This isn’t going to be like the time you took me out for a drive in your dad’s Mercedes after getting your license, right?” I tease, reflecting on how much fun we had growing up and all the trouble we used to get into.
He laughs. “I had completely forgotten about that. To this day, I can’t believe he let me drive his prized possession the moment I got my license.”
“Uh, he didn’t. If memory serves me right, I believe your exact words that day were, and I quote, ‘Get in. I’ve only got an hour to drive this while my parents are out.’”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right. I was getting back at my dad for grounding me by taking his car in a rebellious teenage outburst. I can’t believe you remember that so well.”
“How could I forget? It was one of the scariest moments I’ve ever had while being in a car,” I reply, and then laugh when he does.
“This ride won’t be as scary, I promise. I’ve had a lot more practice since then.”
This is nice. I’ve missed just talking with him.
I glance back at the house and can see the blinds in the kitchen window bent down in three places. Emma, Colton, and Nia are all watching us. When they see me looking at them, the blinds snap back into place.
“Why not, I could use some fresh air,” I say, turning back to look at him. I laugh when I see him already sitting on the snowmobile, waiting for me to hop on with a huge grin on his face. He pats the back part of the seat and then holds out a pair of ski goggles for me to wear.
“Hop on,” he says after I take the goggles and slide them down over my eyes.
“Exactly how many times have you driven one of these things?”
“A couple,” he replies with a chuckle. “Why?”
“Just curious,” I respond as the engine starts and I begin to fe
el vibrations between my legs. I immediately clutch my arms around him and bury my face and chest into his back. Even through the thick winter jacket he has on right now, I can tell he’s all muscle. His chest is rock solid. This is definitely not the body I remember Brent having when we were younger.
What a difference a few years makes.
When we take off, I clench my arms even tighter around his chest and the tension between our bodies becomes almost palpable.
“Just relax and enjoy it,” he shouts over the engine as we make our way past the barn and into the woods behind the house.
I loosen my grip and lean back a bit to take in all the scenery passing us by. Tree after tree becomes a blur as we speed past them. There’s a snowy path cut through the forest that makes for a trip without too many bumps. For my first ride on one of these things, it’s turning out to not be so bad.
A figure moving amongst the trees a little ways from us catches my eye. I watch as it moves in the opposite direction of where we’re headed.
Tapping Brent on the shoulder, I shout, “Hey, I think I saw someone out in the woods.”
“What?” he asks while turning his head slightly, clearly not able to hear me.
He begins to slow down, and I start to speak again. “I think I saw someone out in the woods,” I repeat.
“Huh, well the only ones I know of that are out here right now are you guys and me. Most tenants come next week during Christmas. Are you sure you saw someone?” he asks, bringing the vehicle to a complete stop.
“I’m almost positive, though it could just be me seeing things ... I’ve been known to do that from time to time.”
We both look back to where I thought I saw the person, but there isn’t anyone there.
“Maybe it was an animal or something,” he says starting the engine up before moving forward again.
“Yeah, maybe.” I begin to feel stupid for bringing his attention to the fact I see things that aren’t really there.
A large house appears ahead of us through the snow-covered tree branches. From a distance, it looks similar to the one we’re staying at, but it’s more compact in design.
That must be where we’re headed.
Brent parks us in the front yard of the house before alighting from the vehicle.
“We’re here. It’s okay to open your eyes now.”
I give him a quick love tap on the shoulder before he helps me off the seat. “I wasn’t that bad, was I?”
“Not at all. You may have broken one of my ribs, but hey, comes with the territory.” His laugh lights up his whole face and I begin to blush at how damn cute he looks. “This shouldn’t take long. I just have to do the basic run-through and then you can get back to your girly time.”
“Ha ha, very funny,” I reply as I follow him up to the front door.
The house’s interior looks almost identical to the one we’re staying in. It has the same eggshell-white walls, dark wood floors, and a similar overall layout. The only difference I see is that each room feels about half the size.
“How’d your family come to own these properties?” I ask, moving behind Brent into the living room.
“When my grandparents passed away, they left them to us in their will,” he replies while checking the thermostat situated on the wall next to the fire place.
“That’s right. I completely forgot your grandparents lived in Holden Ridge.”
“Yep, and now during my winter break from school, I have to be here working while the rest of the family is on vacation. Sucks being the oldest child,” he chuckles. “I have to take care of everything.”
Brent moves from the family room into the kitchen to check the oven and gas stovetop for any possible malfunctions. I begin to think about how he hasn’t even mentioned that today is the anniversary of the attack. Four years ago to the day, our relationship changed, and he hasn’t even brought it up once yet.
“You know, it just occurred to me that you haven’t asked about Robbie Jameson yet,” I say, leaning onto the island’s countertop and using my elbows to prop myself up.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to talk about him. I know I don’t really want to, especially with the anniversary being today and all,” he replies, taking a break from checking the oven and keeping his entire attention focused on me.
“I see. Well I’ve learned it’s good to talk about these things. Better out, than bottled up, is what my therapist says.”
He lets out a light, hollow laugh. “Yeah, sounds like something a therapist would say. It’s just that I thought we’d try to move on from that day. And mentioning it would only ruin the time we’re having together right now. It’s been nice just talking to you without having this dark cloud of our past looming over our heads, you know?”
“Yeah, I get that, but I’d still like to talk about it.”
“Look, these past four years have been hell for me, trying to forget this day,” he says, moving toward the island and mimicking the same pose I’m in. “And I know it’s been even more so for you-”
“Want to know my secret? Medication induced sleep,” I state, interrupting him.
He sends me a strained smile before reaching out to put his right hand over both of mine, which are clasped together in front of me. This action surprises me, but in a good way. His hands have a slight roughness to them with a few callouses. Unlike Jared’s soft and gentle ones, these are the hands of a working man. It’s kind of a turn-on, really.
I begin to envision his highly defined chest and arms glistening with sweat as he pitches hay out in the barn, shirtless. I have to shake myself out of the thoughts in order to focus back on him.
“I know I’ve told you this a million times before ... but, I’m sorry, Laney,” he says in a soft tone, a hint of sadness returning to his eyes.
My heart flutters upon hearing those words leave his lips. I just want to wrap him up in a huge hug and never let go. Maybe my feelings for him aren’t as buried as I thought they were.
Having feelings like this after everything that’s happened with Jared leaves me feeling conflicted, though. This time with Brent, however, is helping me realize that I might have been waiting for him to come back into my life ever since the day I turned my back on him four years ago.
“It’s okay, Brent. Really.”
He squeezes my hands with his. “No, it’s not okay. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t kick myself for not being there with you that night. If I could, I’d go back in a heartbeat and change it.”
“I know, but it happened, and there’s nothing we can do about it now. Robbie Jameson’s probably on the other side of the country in Oregon with his parole officer tracking his every move. He has no way of finding where I am. It’s been a difficult road to this conclusion, but I’m beginning to realize it now.”
Brent goes quiet for a moment and just stares into my eyes. He wraps his other hand around mine, cupping both into his.
“That doesn’t change the fact that because of me, I almost lost one of the few people I actually gave two shits about while growing up.”
Thoughts of the locket he was going to give me for Christmas fill my mind, and I realize there’s still a good chance he’s been harboring those same feelings for me this whole time. The ache in his voice lets me know he’s been dealing with this almost as much as I have.
“Brent, I - ” I begin to say, but I’m quieted by the touch of his lips. The kiss is sudden and full of angst, almost as if he’s second-guessing doing it in the first place.
He pulls away almost immediately after the embrace. “I’m sorry, Laney. I couldn’t help myself. I just had to kiss you,” he says, shying away from me.
At first I’m speechless, trying to make sense of what just occurred between us. A part of me wishes he wouldn’t have stopped. He tilts his head up to rest his eyes on mine again as our faces hover close together.
Temptation overpowers the half of me that thinks this is moving too fast, and I decide to act on it. Cupping
his chin with both of my hands, I bring my face closer to him, allowing his mouth to envelope mine. Our tongues caress with each sweeping motion, and as he runs his fingers through my hair, the sensation of the kiss intensifies. The feeling of his light stubble tickles around my lips and causes me to release a satisfied giggle every time our mouths part.
“Sorry, I meant to shave today. I wasn’t expecting to make out with anyone,” he says with a soft laugh.
“It’s okay. It’s kind of hot, in a rugged, mountain man sort of way,” I reply.
He moves around the island counter and wraps my body up in his.
“I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve gone to sleep dreaming this day would finally come. All of those practice kissing sessions when we were growing up were all in preparation for this moment right here,” he whispers, never taking his eyes off of me.
His tongue runs across his lips in anticipation as he lowers his face to mine again. This kiss is even more passionate, putting the last one to shame. Our mouths move as one as a happy haze clouds my mind. A sense of euphoria swirls through my body as his hands trail up and down my spine before resting atop my shoulders. Tracing his jawline with my fingers, I find that I can’t stop running them across his stubble.
He tilts his head back to look at me, interrupting our lip lock. “Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I do, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing us to move too quickly.”
Before he asked me, I was one hundred percent on board with this. I was caught up in the thrill of it as his hands were roaming around my body while we embraced. Now, I’m feeling unsure, but deep down this whole scenario seems right. It’s as if we’ve picked up right where we left off before I went and ruined everything. There’s this connection Brent and I share that I don’t think I fully comprehended until this very moment. I’ve never felt for anyone in my entire life like I do for him, and I believe he feels the same way. I can tell by how he looks at me, touches me, talks to me ... the way he kisses me.
