by Walsh Maggie
“Would you like some coffee? I just put on a fresh pot before I started vacuuming.”
“That would nice.”
Evan motioned for him to follow and led the way down a hall. Raphael’s gaze roamed Evan’s lithe body as he walked behind him. His gaze fell to Evan’s feet and saw that he wore no shoes. Raphael groaned inwardly at the sight. Something about a man’s bare feet sticking out from under a pair of jeans heated Raphael’s blood.
They made their way into the kitchen, and Evan offered him a seat. Raphael sat and looked around the quaint space as Evan poured coffee into two mugs and brought them over, along with milk and a sugar bowl. The kitchen was a very comfortable, homey place. What some would consider a country kitchen made Raphael feel like he was home.
Evan sat across from him and placed one of the mugs in front of him. “Milk? Sugar?”
“No thank you. I drink it black.”
“I love my coffee, but I never could handle it black,” Evan offered as he added three teaspoons of sugar and milk to his cup, and stirred it.
“It takes some getting used to.”
Silence covered them again as they drank their coffee. Raphael didn’t know what was wrong with him. Normally he had no trouble talking to anyone. He was an alpha, for God’s sake. He cleared his throat and met his mate’s gaze. “Why is this so awkward?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe because we don’t know a thing about each other.”
“Well, that’s not entirely true. I know you’re a good man with a beautiful soul and a big heart,” Raphael said with a smile.
“And how would you know that? I could be a serial killer for all you know.” Evan teased.
“I doubt that very much. I know because you took these young men in, and more, who have now moved on, and you have given them a home. A place they can feel safe and not have to worry about it being taken away from them. You accept them for who they are and encourage them to be better men. You’ve given them something that some of them haven’t had in a long time and others never had. You have given them a belief that their parents should have bestowed on them, the belief that they mean something, that they are special. You help them to find their self-confidence, and you show them love.”
Evan just stared at Raphael as he spoke, but when he finished Evan blushed and looked down into his cup. “My Maddy and his mates have told me many wonderful stories about you. Maddy and Josh both adore you, as well as Bailey. So that alone tells me what kind of a man you are. I am honored to have you as my mate.”
Evan’s head snapped up, and he locked gazes with Raphael. “I’m the one who should be honored to have you as my mate. I mean, I am honored to have you as my mate.”
“And why is that? I have done nothing special.”
“You’re Alpha Raphael Angel. You’re a legend,” Evan said in awe.
“Well, I am Raphael Angel, but I am no longer alpha, and as for being a legend, I doubt that very much. I have done nothing in my life to have that tag stamped on me.”
“That’s not true. From what I understand, you’ve taken hundreds of boys into your home and have given them somewhere to live, somewhere safe to call their own, and you have worked secretly with King Marco to stop some of the evil that the old council was up to. The both of you worked together to find out about Malachi and what he was up to. You’re also my alpha’s father, the Alpha Prime’s father.”
“Being someone’s father doesn’t make you a legend,” Raphael said in a teasing tone, “and as for Malachi, we were never able to actually take him down. Jesse and Micah did that. The rest of it, I only did what I felt was right―what you yourself have done, which only proves that fate does know what she’s doing when she matches two souls. Or, should I say, she brings one soul back together again.”
Evan blushed again and cleared his throat. He jumped up from the table and went back to the coffeepot, his back to Raphael.
“What is it that has you so afraid of me, mate? Do you not want me?” Raphael asked hesitantly.
Evan spun around to face Raphael, opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. He looked away and turned back to face the counter. He took a deep breath and slowly released it. “It’s not that I don’t want you. It’s just…”
“What, Evan?”
“I’m not good enough for you,” he whispered in a voice so low that even Raphael’s enhanced shifter hearing almost missed it.
Raphael stood and walked to stand behind Evan. He stopped a few feet behind him. “I don’t know why you feel like I am above you and that you aren’t good enough for me, but I will tell you that you are very wrong. I am nothing special, Evan. I am just a man, like you are. A man who does the best he can to get by in life and to try to do the right thing.”
“You don’t know anything about me, Alpha Angel. You don’t know the things that I have done,” Evan said in defeat as his shoulders dropped.
Raphael stepped closer, tentatively reached out a hand, and placed it gently on Evan’s hip. “It’s Raphael, Evan, not Alpha Angel. It doesn’t matter what you have done in your past, mate. We all have skeletons in our closets. It’s who you are now. There are things that everyone wishes they could take back or do over. Things that they wish had never happened. Things that they had to do to survive. But it’s those things that make us who we are. It’s the choices we make that define us.”
“And what if the choices we made hurt others? What if the things we did were so horrible that they could never be taken back?” Evan’s voice came out distressed.
“It’s the things you learn from those choices and the way you use that knowledge to change. I know you have learned some very good things from those choices because of the man you are today. You are my mate, Evan, and it is not up to me to judge you, especially for things you did in the past. It is up to me to stand by you, to encourage you, and to help you.”
Evan slowly turned to face Raphael, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “I tell the boys things like that all the time. I know what you’re saying is true. It’s just…”
“You haven’t been able to forgive yourself for whatever happened in your past.” Evan shook his head as a tear escaped and ran down his cheek. Raphael took the last step to close the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Evan, pulling him close and holding him. At first Evan stiffened in his arms, but he soon relaxed against Raphael’s chest and accepted his comfort. The tears began to fall, and Evan held onto Raphael.
* * * *
Evan couldn’t believe he was standing in his kitchen wrapped in his mate’s arms and crying all over the man like a child, but damn if it didn’t feel good. It had been many years since he had someone hold him. More years than he cared to count, and he loved it, wanted it. Being wrapped in Raphael’s arms felt right, like he was always meant to be there.
Evan leaned against the strong chest and accepted the comfort his mate offered him. He had missed the feeling of a man’s arms around him, but he hadn’t realized just how much he had missed it until now. His body craved human contact, and his wolf cuddled contentedly inside him from the pleasure of their mate holding them.
As his tears fell he realized that he wasn’t even embarrassed by the loss of control and the show of weakness. Evan prided himself on always holding it together. He’d spent years learning how to hide his true feelings and emotions and keep them bottled up. Sure, he’d let out his heart and compassion to others, especially to his boys, but when it came to his own emotions, he kept them under lock and key. In his life, it did no good to mix his pain with theirs. He always let a small amount out to show these young men that he truly did understand their pain and where they were coming from, but he would never burden them with his suffering. They had enough to deal with without him falling apart on them. He needed to be strong for them. They needed him to be strong.
Evan realized his tears had stopped but he still hadn’t pulled from Raphael’s arms. He was enjoying the man’s attention too much.
“Do you fe
el better now?” Raphael’s whispered words soothed his heart. He didn’t want to let go, but he did. Evan lowered his arms from around Raphael’s waist and took a step back, looking down as he cleared his throat. Now that the moment had passed, embarrassment was seeping in.
Raphael placed a finger under Evan’s chin, gently lifting his head until their eyes met. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about, mate. I’m happy to have been able to give you comfort, and my wolf was thrilled to have you close.”
“Thank you. I shouldn’t have broken down like that,” Evan rushed to say, and stepped around Raphael. He went to the table, grabbed up the milk and sugar, and returned them to their proper places. He went back to the table, picked up Raphael’s cup, and took it back to the counter. “Your coffee is cold. I’ll get you a fresh cup.”
Raphael gently wrapped his fingers around Evan’s wrist, stopping him, then took the mug from his hand, and placed it on the counter beside them. “I will never pressure you to tell me about what happened that has hurt you so and has made you believe you don’t deserve happiness. I only hope that someday I will gain your trust enough for you to want to share it with me. I can feel your fear, mate. A fear of letting me in. Fear of how I will look at you or feel about you if I find out what keeps you a prisoner inside yourself. I know we don’t know each other yet, and I expect it is hard for you to share yourself with anyone because of your past, but I can promise you that I will never judge you, Evan. I will show you that you can trust me, that you can let me in.”
Tears began to well in Evan’s eyes again as he listened to Raphael’s words and could hear the truth in them. The gentleness with which his mate took with him made him want to melt into Raphael’s arms again and draw strength from the man. Gods, how he wanted this man. He didn’t know him, but somehow he knew he could trust Raphael. He knew the man would accept him and keep him safe, but he had spent so long protecting himself that he just couldn’t open up his pain to his mate. He couldn’t release the hold the memories had on him. “I don’t know what to say,” Evan confessed.
“All you have to say is that you’re not denying me.”
“I’m not denying you. I―”
Raphael placed a finger on Evan’s lips, stopping him from saying anything else. Raphael gave him a beautiful smile. “That’s all I wanted to hear. That’s all I said you needed to say. You don’t have to explain anything more.”
Raphael removed his finger from Evan’s lips, and the two just stood there staring into each other’s eyes. “I’m going to go now and let you get back to your cleaning. I would love for us to see each other again, spend time together and get to know each other. So I am formally asking you out on a date. Would you be so kind as to join me for dinner some night soon? Maybe we could enjoy the winter festival after?”
Evan smiled like a goofy kid. He couldn’t help it. His mate was adorable. The confident man that stood before him actually looked nervous as he asked Evan out on a date. “I would like that very much, Alph…Raphael.”
The smile he received from his mate lit up the room. “Good. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we’ll find a time and day that works for you.”
Evan’s eyes opened wide in shock. “No, whatever works best for you. I know how busy you are.”
“Me? I’m not busy at all. I’m retired, remember?” Raphael said with a smile. “Now that I have moved here, I do need to find something to fill my time, though. My son has made a wonderful pack here, and I doubt he needs me sticking my nose into it.”
“I’m sure Micah would love your input.”
Raphael took Evan’s hand and began to make his way from the kitchen and back down the hall. “Well, if he ever needs me then I would be more than happy to help him, but this is his pack, not mine, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I’m ready to move on to the next phase of my life.”
Raphael stopped at the front door and opened it, stepping out, he turned to face Evan. He cupped Evan’s cheek and looked deeply into Evan’s eyes. “I’ll call you tomorrow, mate.”
Raphael leaned in and softly brushed his lips against Evan’s. It was such a small move, a whisper of a kiss, but it took Evan’s breath away more than if the man had claimed his mouth.
Raphael straightened and brushed his thumb across Evan’s cheek before pulling his hand back. He squeezed Evan’s hand that he was still holding and released it, giving him another of those beautiful smiles. “Have a good day, mate.”
Evan watched in stunned silence as Raphael moved from the porch and made his way to his SUV. Raphael lifted his head and looked at Evan one more time over the roof of the vehicle, then opened the door and climbed in. Evan just watched as the car pulled away and disappeared down the long drive. Evan raised his fingers to his lips. He could still feel Raphael’s soft kiss. He smiled and went back into the house.
* * * *
As promised, Raphael had called him the next day, and they set up a date to go have dinner at the only restaurant in town for the following night. It was a nice, quiet place across the square from Bailey’s café. It served an eclectic menu of food. There was something for everyone’s taste.
Raphael had picked him up at six, and Evan thought he would die of lust combustion when he got his first look at the man. He opened the door to find his mate standing there wearing black dress slacks and a midnight-blue button-down that made his already-mesmerizing blue eyes appear deeper. The top two buttons of the shirt were undone, and Evan got a nice tease of the golden skin and muscled chest that hid beneath it. From what he could see, Raphael’s skin looked flawless, and Evan had an immediate desire to touch him and lick that honey-smooth skin. His cock twitched, and heat radiated through him.
Raphael’s nostrils flared and Evan could tell the man was drawing in a deep breath. He was sure Raphael could smell his desire, but, always the gentleman, he said nothing about it. Evan felt his cheeks turn red, and he smiled softly.
“You look amazing, mate,” Raphael said in appreciation.
“Thank you. You look very handsome,” Evan responded shyly.
“These are for you,” Raphael announced and held out a bouquet of flowers.
They were so beautiful. It was a mix of silver and dark-pink roses, with small white tiger lilies, a sprig of blue delphinium, and some greenery mixed in.
“I wasn’t sure if getting you flowers was acceptable or not, so I just went with what I thought was best. I wasn’t sure which flowers you liked or if you even liked them, so I just picked a bunch I thought looked nice,” Raphael said.
Evan’s smile widened at the man’s nervous ramble. He took the flowers. “Thank you. I love flowers, and these are exquisite.”
“I’ll take them and put them in some water for you, Evan,” Sage offered from behind Evan, breaking their spell.
Evan cleared his throat and turned to Sage, handing him the bouquet. “Thank you, Sage.”
“You two look good enough to eat. You’re both going to have to beat all the admirers off you all night,” Sage said teasingly and gave Evan a wink.
Raphael laughed, and the sound went straight to Evan’s already-half-hard cock, making it stand at attention. Sage raised a brow at Evan and smirked.
“Okay then. Have fun you two, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. We won’t wait up.”
“Sage,” Evan said in warning.
“What?” Sage feigned innocence and wiggled his fingers good-bye. Then he stepped away and disappeared down the hall.
“Sorry about that,” Evan apologized anxiously.
“Don’t be. He reminds me a lot of Taylor. I think that’s a good thing. Are you ready to go?” Evan nodded. He grabbed his leather jacket from the hook next to the door and put it on as he stepped out.
* * * *
They had such a wonderful night. Evan couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed himself so much. They arrived at the restaurant and were shown to a quiet table in the back. The room had soft lighting and candles lit throughout. A piano sat on the other
side of the room, and a cute young man played it softly.
The food was wonderful, and the company was even better. They had a few quiet moments to start, but once the conversation started, they never stopped. Raphael told him all about his boys back in Montana, as well as the young man Ash, that had moved here with him. Some of the stories Raphael had shared with him about a young Micah and Raith had Evan laughing. He knew the alpha and beta weren’t prudish sticks in the mud, but hearing about them as young boys and about all the trouble they got into had him seeing them in a different light.
When Raphael told him about Fallon and Trevor, he could see and hear the depth of his love and pride in the duo. He could also sense the sadness when he spoke of Ash’s brothers, Quincy and Tatum.
Evan shared his own stories of the many boys he helped over the years, especially his current wards. Raphael laughed. Evan loved when the man laughed.
After dinner they made their way through town, enjoying the festival. Evan had never come to the festival before. He hadn’t wanted to see all the happy couples and families enjoying themselves. Sure, he had walked through town at times during the festival, but he never stopped to look around or partake in any of its offerings.
They stopped and got hot chocolate and cannoli from Bailey and Lexi. Evan ignored the teasing looks he was getting from the two. He and Raphael moved on with their purchase and sat on the stairs of the gazebo in the center of the square. They enjoyed their treats as they watched the people mill about and continued their easy conversation.
When they finished their goodies, Raphael stood, gathered their garbage, took it to the trash, then returned, and took Evan’s hand. Without hesitation, Evan allowed Raphael to take his hand and to pull him to his feet. They continued walking around the town, holding hands, and just enjoyed the evening.
When Raphael drove him home, he walked him to the door, and they agreed to go out again in a few days. With Evan’s work schedule, their next date would have to be a lunch date, but he didn’t mind. Any time he could spend with Raphael he would take. Raphael gave him another soft, quick kiss before he left, and Evan felt the disappointment. He had really hoped to get a more substantial kiss this time, but he sensed Raphael was holding back for him.
