by Debra Holt
Angie and Gran joined in the cheering and clapping, on their feet as well. In the energy of the moment, Kaitlyn threw her arms around the closest person to her and that turned out to be Clay. Without thought, her arms were around his neck and he had lifted her feet off the ground inside a tight embrace of celebration. She pulled back and the laughter died on her lips as she looked into the depth of golden tiger eyes locked on hers. He wasn’t laughing either. His gaze slid to focus on her parted lips and if she had moved an inch closer, and he had done the same, they would have kissed… could have. But a loud voice broke the spell and dropped them both back into reality. Clay released her and she stepped away quickly, her hands joining in clapping to have something to do.
“Did you see me? I did it! I ran as fast as I could and I did it!” Joshua held up the blue ribbon of victory.
Gran gave him a huge hug. Angie did the same. Clay slapped Joshua’s hand with his in a high-five and then followed up with a hand ruffling over the brown hair of his son’s head.
Joshua stopped in front of Kaitlyn. “I won this. Can you hold it for me? You can give me that kiss now, if you want.” The last was said in a trailing off, embarrassed voice.
Like maybe he expected her to not want to participate any longer.
“The victor gets the kiss.” Grinning, she stepped forward and placed a kiss on the forehead of the boy and then she found two thin arms wrapped around her waist in a mini bear hug. She returned it with fervor. “We’re very proud of you, Joshua.”
“I do the hurdles next.” He informed them, stepping away to stand next to Gran, ready for the next challenge. “I’m not the best at it.”
“I think I need a cold drink if we have time before your event starts?” Angie asked.
“I could use one too. I’ll go with you.” What Kaitlyn needed was to get some air and distance also. She couldn’t believe how she had behaved with Clay and she needed to grab hold of reality and her sanity as soon as possible. “Can we get drinks for anyone else?” Her glance went to Gran.
“Not right now. You three go ahead.”
“I’ll show you the best stand to get drinks.” Joshua stepped forward. “It’s sponsored by moms in our class and we get money from it for our classroom.”
“That sounds like where we need to go. Lead the way.” Angie smiled.
There were quite a few people gathered in the area where the food and drink stands were set up. Kaitlyn saw Darcy behind the counter in one where they were serving pie slices. They shared a wave. Others nodded at them or said hellos. If anyone had curiosity about who they were, no one seemed to voice it. They were accepted in their midst. Kaitlyn liked that about her hometown. She could tell Angie was amused by it.
“Kaitlyn! I’m so glad we ran into you!” Tricia Wellman stood in front of one of the stands, along with a tall man carrying a little girl dressed all in pink. She stepped forward and gave Kaitlyn a brief hug. “I want you to meet my husband, Jim, and our little girl, Lizzie Ann.”
“I’m so pleased to meet you.” Kaitlyn smiled at the man, and then introduced Angie to all of them. Her attention then went to the little girl. “Hello, you adorable little pink angel. How old are you?”
The child gave a tentative smile and then hid her head in her dad’s shoulder. “She’s three going on thirteen.” Her mom spoke up for her. “Don’t let her act of shyness fool you; she’s really not this shy normally.”
“She’s adorable.”
“Hi Trisha, Jim.” A short, stocky older man came to stand with their group. “I just spoke to Georgia Russell and Clay Morgan. I was hoping to get an introduction to our two visitors here.” His expectant smile landed on the women.
“Doctor Ken Houser, may we introduce Kaitlyn Russell and her friend, Angie Lord.” Tricia performed the introductions as they shook hands.
“What do you practice, Doctor Houser?” Angie asked.
The man shook his head with a laugh. “Oh my, well, my wife would say I practice golf. But I’m not a medical doctor. I’m principal of our high school here in McKenna Springs. It’s quite a large school. We consolidated three communities about seven years ago. We’ve just acquired 5-A status.”
Kaitlyn smiled at the look on Angie’s face. “Forgive my city friend. You lost her when you said consolidated. We saw the campus when we passed by it a couple of days ago. It’s quite something.”
“Quite different from the one we all attended,” Jim added. “The stadium is the largest in this area of Texas.”
“Yes, I remember how Texans love their Friday night football games.” Kaitlyn nodded.
“Well, our curriculum is a bit more than athletics.” Ken Houser spoke up. “In fact, we just broke ground on the new Fine Arts Performance Center. And I had to take this opportunity to meet you because we’d like to have our own home-grown celebrity be involved in its opening. I was hoping you’d be agreeable to that.”
Kaitlyn was caught totally by surprise and it registered on her face.
“I think she’ll be really happy once she gets over the shock,” Angie said with a grin.
“I really am shocked,” Kaitlyn found her voice. “But I would be honored to be included.”
“That is outstanding! I will certainly keep you in the loop as we move along. And let me be the first to say, if you ever want to escape the bright lights, I would be first in line with a job offer in our Fine Arts Program. Of course, we can’t hold a candle to New York City, but our students would benefit greatly from someone like you who rose from where they are now to the top of her profession. Anyway”—he laughed at his own enthusiasm—“I’m getting way ahead of myself as I always seem to do. Welcome again, to you both and please enjoy the rest of the events. We’ll be in touch soon, Kaitlyn!”
“That man never stands still for long.” Tricia informed them as they watched him disappear into the crowd. “But wouldn’t that be perfect? You back here again, and at the new center… just about perfect I would say.”
“Just about.” Angie smiled along with a knowing look at her friend.
“Well, I’m so glad you came to the field day. It really is a lot of fun for the kids and helps out the school too,” Tricia continued.
“And if we don’t get in line for those turkey legs the fourth grade is selling, we won’t get one and then this little girl will show us just how un-shy she can be.” Jim spoke up, nodding at the child smiling at them from the safety of dad’s arms.
“True, it was good seeing you, Kaitlyn, and meeting you, Angie. I hope you both won’t be a strangers and come back to visit again soon.”
Saying goodbyes, the trio carried on to the booth where Joshua led them. “You certainly aren’t a stranger around here. People are very friendly.” Angie noted as they took their place in line.
“I forgot how friendly these towns can be. I have known some of these people from elementary school days.”
“I envy people like this,” Angie said, a small smile not quite reaching her eyes and drawing Kaitlyn’s attention.
“How so?”
“They’ve lived in one place all of their lives. They have roots and know where they come from and where they fit in to everything… and where they will be tomorrow and so on. That’s got to be a good feeling… a secure one.”
Before Kaitlyn could remark on what Angie said, she tossed her head in the direction of the funnel cake line. “Look, let’s divide and conquer. I really want one of those calorie-laden cakes, so you get our drinks and I’ll get in line for those. Meet you back at the benches.”
“That leaves you and me.” Kaitlyn smiled at Joshua who stood next to her.
She saw his attention kept drifting to a couple of boys who stood off to the side of the colorful stand, shoveling popcorn in their mouths and their eyes glued on them.
“If you want to go talk to your friends,” she offered, “I don’t mind. I think I can find my way back to where Gran is.” Joshua hesitated, no smile on his face. He looked at the pair and then considered s
omething for a moment. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
Joshua went to the pair and in a moment or two, after a few words were exchanged; they walked off to stand just out of her sight behind the next stand. Kaitlyn stepped up to the counter, gave her order. She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something going on. Once she had the drinks in their carrier and in hand, she decided to not return to the stands right away. Moving to stand at the corner where she had seen the trio of boys disappear, she stopped when she heard their voices. She would have gone forward and announced herself but the mention of her name made her hold still.
“I told you her name is Kaitlyn Russell. She’s a pretty famous actress from New York City.” That was Joshua.
“Then if she is so special why is she here?” One of the boys challenged him.
“Yeah, lame-o, why is she here with you?”
“She’s my friend and… and…”
“You’re making it up. Next thing you’ll say she’s your long lost mother who ran away when you were born because she didn’t like you.”
That did it for Kaitlyn. She stepped around the corner of the stand with a wide smile on her face and her eyes locked on the pair of troublemakers.
“There you are, Joshua! I have our drinks. Are these friends of yours?” The three had lost their ability to speak for a moment. She continued on. “I’m Kaitlyn Russell. I came all the way from New York to see my good friend Joshua run in the races. He is amazingly fast, isn’t he? Who knows? I think one day we could see him in the Olympics. Then we three can say we knew him when he was just in elementary school. You must be proud to be his friends now. Would you like some drinks to go with that popcorn?” She held up the drink carrier.
They found their voices. “No… no, ma’am. We have to go find our group for the next event.” That was the bigger of the two boys. “Olympics? Really?”
“Yes indeed. He has a real talent. I bet he can do anything he wants to do. Like I said, you’re lucky he’s your friend.” She kept them both under her direct gaze.
“Yes, ma’am.” The smaller one nodded. “Have some popcorn, Josh?” He offered to share his bag. Smart kid.
Kaitlyn looked down at Joshua and he looked up at her. They shared a grin. He reached for a handful of popcorn. “Thanks, Jimmy. Good luck this afternoon in the hurdles. I bet you’ll win.”
“You think so?”
“Yep, your legs are long and you’re fast. You’ll do it.”
“Thanks, Josh.”
“We got to go.” The older one spoke up, possibly feeling moved to the outside circle if the uncertain light in his eyes was any indication. “See you later.” The pair took off in a run.
“That was nice to meet your friends.” Kaitlyn smiled as she watched them leave.
“You know they aren’t really my friends.” Joshua looked up at her.
“I think Jimmy might well be one after today. The other one… well, it’s his loss. I think you’re probably a very good friend to those who you care about.”
“Hey, Dad! Were you looking for us?” Joshua was the first to see the man step around the corner, two drinks in his hands.
“Georgia decided she was thirsty after all. How about you take her drink to her for me?”
“Sure.”
“We’ll follow shortly.” The boy was out of earshot before Clay turned to Kaitlyn.
“Thanks.”
“Excuse me?”
“I heard what was going on… what the boys said to Joshua and then what you did. You handled it probably better than I would have.”
“I doubt that. But then you’re his dad and can be forgiven for wanting to keep hurtful things away from your child. Those boys were just being typical bullies. I’m just sorry they said such a hateful thing to Joshua.”
“It’s not the first time. He’s had to listen to remarks like that from kids since he started school. He knows the truth. That his mother loved him more than anything and her heart was just too weak to allow her to stay and take care of him. So she went to heaven where she could be strong and always watch over him. He’s held on to that truth but it doesn’t keep the arrows from drawing pain.”
Kaitlyn’s heart twisted at the sad words. “It must be hard being a single parent with a career and a ranch to run, too. I don’t know how you manage it all.” Of mutual accord, they turned to retrace their steps, slow and matched, to the viewing stands.
“Through a lot of trial and error,” he admitted with a slow shake of his head. “I couldn’t have made it without Edie and Seth. And the other rangers and friends. They all were understanding and ready to help out however they could. In fact, I’ve been phasing out my cases. I’ll do special assignments on a limited basis but I’ll be staying around the ranch more and more as much as I can. I remember how hard it was for me growing up with no real man in my life. I don’t want that for Joshua.”
“What about a mother in his life?” She spoke the words and then regretted them. But it was too late. “Boys do need that female figure in their lives, too.”
“I’m aware of that. But it’s better to not have one than to just place someone in our lives that wouldn’t be there for the right reasons for both of us.”
“Right reasons?”
“Someone who could love Joshua as if he were her own. And someone who I could love, as well. A child needs two parents who love and respect each other or you just have another problem to deal with. I don’t want that.”
“I totally agree. But you have to open your heart and put it out there in order to see if there is such a woman.”
His steps stopped and so did hers. He looked down at her with a darkening thoughtfulness in his eyes. “It can be dangerous and painful putting one’s heart ‘out there’ as you say. What if you find the one you want but they can’t be the right one?”
She met his gaze with her own steady one. “Why couldn’t they be the right one? What would stop you?”
“Trust issues maybe? Distance? Joshua doesn’t need to have either parent be an absentee. For example, someone with a career of their own and focused on that wouldn’t be a right fit in some instances. It’s hard for a lot of people to place family before career. So you see why I’ve been guarded on this subject. Joshua and I do well enough on our own. We don’t need anyone tampering with what we’ve built.”
All of the things she was… and he just put it as plain as possible for her. She was the wrong fit… and always would be. How many hits could a heart stand? Hers had been battered enough in coming back to McKenna Springs and seeing Clay Morgan, having old wounds open again. And now she had asked the tough questions and had gotten the truth that was hard to hear, much less deal with. Her last shred of self-preservation fought back.
“Well, there aren’t many women in this day and time who want to give up a good career and live in a small town for the rest of their lives… not on a full-time basis. So good luck on finding such a person.” She left him standing there, a look of surprise on his face evident before she turned away. She didn’t care what he did after that.
Chapter Nineteen
“That was so much fun today. You should have seen Joshua running like the wind.” Gran informed Edie later that evening at the dinner table. “He made quite a showing… two blue ribbons, one red and a medal. I think you best start building a trophy case in the hallway, Clay. Your son will fill it up before he’s done. Mark my words.”
“I’ve already been working on that,” Clay responded. “Jace Blackhawke’s father is an expert wood craftsman. I asked him to draw something up for me.”
“Really, Dad? But I only have a few things. What if I don’t get any more?” Joshua beamed excitement from his eyes but then a hint of uncertainty dimmed it a bit.
“I think you’ll have more,” Kaitlyn spoke.
She had sat quietly in her chair since dinner began. The fact this was their last dinner in the house she had dreamed would be hers one day, and that she might not see her grandmother for a while
, and add the fact that she had been told basically by the man who still held her heart that she would never be considered for a wife or mother in his mind, then that pretty much made it a heck of a day all around. But she wasn’t going to let Joshua see anything but her confidence in his dreams and ability.
“That is if you really want them. What is your dream for when you grow up? Sometimes people forget to ask the person what his or her dream is for their life. So, Joshua Morgan, what do you want for your future?”
Joshua looked around the table, considering something in his mind. “Well, right now, I can’t quite decide if I want to be a baseball player or if I want to build big buildings… maybe even houses, too.”
“I never knew you wanted to build things like that,” Edie remarked from across the table.
“Well, I knew he might.” Seth spoke up with a grin. “He’s been following me and helping with some of the rebuilding of the sheds and the hay barn. He took right to it.”
“Both those are admirable dreams, Son. I’m glad you shared them.” Clay spoke to his son and then dropped a glance on Kaitlyn but she kept her eyes on the boy.
“When you choose what you want, you go after it one hundred and ten percent. Never let go of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Kaitlyn said, standing from her seat, laying her napkin beside her plate. “I need to finish packing. Tomorrow comes early and we have miles to cover.”
She didn’t venture a glance at anyone in particular, she couldn’t. She kept her head held high and shoulders squared until she reached the darkness of her bedroom. Latching the door, she moved to the bed and curled up on it, drawing a pillow to her chest. For the first time in a long time, tears flowed down her cheeks and the awful part was she had no idea why. There was just an infinite sadness squeezing her heart until she couldn’t breathe without a sob rising in her throat. She buried her face into the pillow to keep any noise from escaping. She stayed that way for a long time. When a soft knocking came at her door, she remained still. Angie spoke her name just above a whisper but still Kaitlyn did not reply. Finally, the girl’s footsteps could be heard moving away. Kaitlyn could only pray sleep would come at some point.
