by Debra Holt
“Just how did you get to be such an expert?” Skepticism was clear in Clay’s eyes.
“I read a book. Okay, so maybe it was a couple of paragraphs in one of those women’s magazines that was left open one day on our department secretary’s desk. But it’s better than no advice at all, and more than I wager you ever studied.”
“Kaitlyn is different. Our situation… our history is different.”
Jace shot him a lazy smile across the table. “I never knew any woman who was worth going through this over. Why don’t I just drive you back to the ranch and you can sleep it off? Before too long, you’ll find another lady to tie you up in knots.”
“I don’t want any other woman to tie me in knots. This one is more than enough.”
“Well, I’ll have to take your word for that. It’s been my experience that most women are the same.”
“Then you haven’t met the right one. Believe me, when you do… you’ll be miserable too.” Clay finished with an ironic twist to his mouth.
Jace slowly shook his head, his mouth curving into a wry smile. “That’s one misery that I think I’ll put off as long as possible. Anyway, let’s get you back to the ranch. You can have a hot shower and maybe Edie will invite me to stay for some of her home cooking.”
Clay stood from the booth as his only response and headed toward the door. Jace made a quick grab for their hats, dropped some money on the bar for the coffee, and then followed. Clay was already slouched in the passenger seat of the big, black SUV with the New Mexico plates.
Backing the vehicle away from the curb, Jace headed it in the direction of the ranch. Two blocks down, he pulled to a stop at the red light of the intersection.
“Turn around,” Clay spoke up beside him.
Jace threw him a look. “Are you serious?”
“Turn around and head for the New Mexico border.”
“You want to go after this woman?”
“I have to stop her. I’ve got to explain some things. I can’t let her go until I do. It won’t make any difference to her but I’ve got to say it. It has to be said. Turn around. We can catch up to them.”
Jace shook his head but did a U-turn when the light changed. “You have it bad. You sure you want to do this?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything. You’ll understand one day. Some woman will turn your life upside down and you’ll understand.”
Jace threw a look at Clay. He slowly shook his head again. “Shoot me if that day comes. Put me out of my misery quick.”
*
The interior of the car had grown smaller. At least that was how it seemed to the occupants. It also seemed as if a month had transpired since their trip had been interrupted. In actuality, it was just little more than a week. Perhaps it was the silence that stretched for the first couple of hours that made the car feel even more confining. At any rate, both women were glad of a chance to stretch their legs. Pulling off the highway at a roadside park on top of the Caprock, they took a short break. Angie found a metal marker and read the brief wording. “It says this is a view of something called a Caprock.”
“That’s right. We just climbed it. The Caprock is a shelf of land that cuts through the upper part of this section of the Texas Panhandle. It’s part of the Great Plains which stretches from the middle of the country down into this area of Texas.” It also provided a high vantage point from which to look across miles of mesas and land that would soon be settling into purple shadows with the setting of the sun in the West.
“You do love your Texas history.”
“Yes, I do. It’s a rich land full of amazing facts and people.”
“And some of those amazing people you really love a lot.”
“Let’s hit the road again, Angie. I want to be in New Mexico before it gets really late,” Kaitlyn tossed over at her companion, choosing to ignore her comments. And out of Texas as fast as I can. Try as hard as she might, Clay Morgan would not stay out of her thoughts. Impossible. Every thought she had, somehow he forced his way into it… a smile, a remark, the way he had held her… touched her. She shook her head. There she went again; or rather there he came again. Either way she looked at it, it was infuriating and painful and only pointed out again how foolish she could be.
The man was not worth the pain that quickly ensued after each thought. He had allowed her to walk away not once, but twice. Only the second time around had been even more painful because he had made her think even for a little bit of time, that perhaps he wanted a second chance for them. Kaitlyn slammed her car door shut at the thought. They left a spray of gravel behind them as the Jaguar headed into the western sunset.
The more miles Kaitlyn could put behind her… and between Clay and herself, the better she would feel, right? She thought she had been so smart. She was in control and she would not allow herself to be caught in that same old trap again. A woman of the world. She should have known better. He had walked right back into her life and perfectly played it all. Clay had waited until her guard came down and then had taken advantage of it. Was she just a pleasant diversion? A waltz down memory lane? That was how it seemed.
The one thought that repeated more often than any other was the words he had spoken at the school. He had made it plain she was not someone he would want in his son’s life or his. She wouldn’t fit. Which was a cruel joke. Their life was just what she had wished for all those years before. Yet, no one had listened to what she wanted. And he had let her go then, too. She could not forget or forgive that detail. Because he had another woman he was seeing. Missy. She was the one he married. The one who had her dream come true. Clay had given his heart to one woman and lost her. There was evidently nothing left for anyone else… least of all her. Kaitlyn tightened the hold on the steering wheel, wishing it were his neck instead! Maybe then, her anger would subside and his memory would be banished from her mind.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Welcome to The Land of Enchantment.” Angie read aloud from the billboard that stood across the road from the motel lobby she had just exited, her breath hanging on the cold blanket of air. She looked around at the scenery visible from the parking lot… flat; brown, with some mesas in the distance.
“Funny, it still looks like Texas to me.” She spoke to no one in particular. Of course, conversation had still been limited of late so she might as well have a conversation with herself. “There really are mountains somewhere around here, right? We didn’t take another detour and miss them? I would have put on long sleeves this morning if I had known we were getting up before the sun and in frigid temperatures. I might even find those purples and pinks and oranges quite inspiring in the sky right now. But I’ve grown used to having my eyelids closed at such an unholy hour of the day.”
*
“You were up early in the morning at the ranch. What happened to Miss Cheerful Rise and Shine?”
“The sun was already up. Here I am up before it is… that is wrong.”
Kaitlyn wanted to be on the road early and early she had meant.
“I know you said early but I just had barely enough time to grab a cup of coffee to go and something that resembled a Danish roll although it definitely was almost at the end of its shelf life. I took one bite and deposited it into a trash can. Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but how long before we reach Santa Fe?”
Kaitlyn placed her own small bag in the trunk beside Angie’s, and shut the lid. “Three hours or less. The finish line is in sight, believe it or not! We’ll have a nice lunch to make up for that pastry.”
Once again the car was headed toward their original destination.
Angie took out the folded paper from her tote bag, opening it first one way and then turning it around.
“What’s that?”
“I found this map in the hotel’s information rack. I thought it might come in handy in case we find ourselves faced with another scenic road.”
“You aren’t going to let me forget the fact anytime soon tha
t I took a wrong turn last night, are you?”
“Nope,” Angie shook her head. “I think you’ll hear me mention it at the most opportune times in the days ahead.”
“It was dark. I missed the exit. Anyone could do the same thing. At least we’re on the right road again.”
They had crossed the New Mexico border just after sunset the previous evening, made a wrong turn in the darkness, found an alternate highway, and finally stopped for the night at a small motel. Not exactly five-star rated, it had a couple of beds and indoor plumbing so Angie had been grateful.
“I see you didn’t get much sleep last night,” Angie ventured. “Want me to drive for a while? Then you can catch a few.”
A frown creased her brow as Kaitlyn shot a glance at her companion.
“I slept fine. What makes you think I didn’t?”
“Oh, nothing in particular, except those dark circles under the eyes or maybe the fact you tossed and turned all night causing your cheap bed springs to squeak… effectively keeping me awake, too.”
“Sorry, I kept you awake.” Kaitlyn apologized. “At least we’ll have a two-bedroom suite in Santa Fe. You won’t have to lose sleep then.”
“I don’t mind. What are friends for? Except to have excellent adventures together?” Angie’s jovial tone brought Kaitlyn’s glance her way again. She really was trying to make things as normal as possible.
A lump formed in her throat. She quickly looked back at the road. “I haven’t been a very good friend of late,” Kaitlyn admitted. “However, I promise I will make it up to you. You’re never going to forget Santa Fe. I guarantee you that.” She finished on a stronger note than she actually felt.
Kaitlyn had made it through one night. She would get through the day ahead of them. That would be how she would continue—one day at a time until Clay Morgan became just a bad memory to be ignored and forgotten. She had done it once before. It could be done again. Kaitlyn was really afraid this time though; it would take a lot longer to forget him.
At that point, she just got angry all over again—angry at her own gullibility, her own stupidity. She had fallen right back into the same old trap of his smiles, his voice, and his body. Of course, he had been quite eloquent with his talk of second chances and his addition of heated kisses had been ironic. Ha! It was lucky she had escaped again. The fact she had been more than a willing participant in the kissing was a memory that still made her cringe in retrospect. Clay Morgan had not even had the courage to face her as she left. He had sent her off without an opportunity to tell him what she thought of him.
“Hey, you might want to back down on the speed a little.” Angie’s voice broke through Kaitlyn’s mounting anger.
When she looked at the speedometer, Kaitlyn instantly eased up. “Sorry about that, guess I was daydreaming.”
“Right. Either that or planning a homicide by the look in your eyes and the grip you have on that steering wheel.” Angie came back with her shrewd and, as usual, right on the mark observation.
“Homicide would be too simple.”
“I see. Perhaps something more along the lines of excruciating torture might be better.” Angie warmed to the subject. “Or maybe even… oh, great.”
Her sudden comment and change of tone brought Kaitlyn’s gaze across to her.
“You might want to check the rearview mirror. I think we’ve been here before.” Angie deadpanned, eyes locked on the side mirror.
She did just that. There they were—flashing red and blue lights in the distance behind them. Not again. Kaitlyn kept her eyes on the road ahead while Angie gave her updates from the side mirror.
“Well we lost them maybe… no; nope… he’s still back there, and he is really flying. This guy’s got a lot more lights on his big black truck than the trooper did.”
“He’ll go around me.”
“And I suppose if he’s flashing his high beams at us that must mean ‘have a nice day’ in New Mexico lingo?”
Kaitlyn squeezed her eyes shut for a second. She opened them to look in the mirror. There he was… a large black SUV with grill lights and overheads flashing red and blue. She had probably blown through radar when she had been deep in thought about Clay. One way or another, that man continued to cause her no end of grief. She eased up on the gas and placed her blinker on.
Angie’s head swung around. “We’re going to stop again? If you remember, it didn’t work out too well last time we did that.”
“The sooner I let him give me a ticket with a huge fine for his little speed trap, the quicker we can be out of here.” Kaitlyn brought the car to a halt on the shoulder of the road.
“Well, from now on, promise that you are not going to listen to me when I say ‘let’s drive’. Instead, you will say, ‘No, Angie, we are taking the plane.’ Got it?”
“Got it… next time,” Kaitlyn agreed, and then something caught her attention. She looked a bit longer in the rearview mirror. The driver wasn’t getting out of the vehicle but the front passenger side door had opened. Her sharp intake of breath was matched by an almost simultaneous one from Angie. Clay Morgan, dressed in his usual ranger gear with cream Stetson pulled low on his forehead, was slowly approaching their car. By the set of his jaw, he meant to conduct serious business with someone.
What the hell does he think he’s doing? Why here? Why now? Kaitlyn wasn’t prepared for this! Her pulse raced a mile a minute. Her heart pounded so loudly it had to sound like a bass drum in the small car. Angie was right. Why hadn’t they taken a plane?
Suddenly, Kaitlyn flashed back to twelve years ago and how she had prayed and begged to have this very sight happen. She had prayed he would come after her, but that had been different because she had thought he would come because he loved her. She was a lot older and wiser now. This might be her one and only final opportunity to let him know just what she thought of him. Kaitlyn threw caution to the wind. She undid her seat belt in a flash and pushed open her door just as he reached it.
All the anger and pain she had tried to bottle up the last twenty-four hours, in fact for the last twelve years, came boiling to the surface. She drew herself to all five feet, six inches and she flew into him, one hand balled into a fist at her side and the other used one long finger to make jabbing points in the middle of his chest.
“You really have some nerve to show up now. How dare you have the guts to show up at all!” Kaitlyn’s body kept moving forward, forcing him to take a step back. She had clearly caught him off guard, and she wasn’t backing down. “You call yourself a ranger? You are nothing but a lying, two-faced, coward, Clay Morgan and it’s time someone put you in your place. If I were a man, I’d knock you on your butt all the way back to Texas, to the rock you belong under.”
“Well, now, this was worth driving all night just to see.” Those deep tones came from Jace Blackhawke, lounging against the front of the SUV, arms crossed and an amused smile on a face half hidden by his own Stetson. “Yep, just to see this little lady take you down a peg or two is well worth it.” The amused sarcasm was directed at Clay who remained stock still, his eyes never leaving the woman standing in front of him.
Angie stepped out of the car and threw a quick look to the tall man as she heard his words.
“Nice morning.” He sent the words across to her, his gaze landing briefly on her.
“If you say so. Bit cold… and flat.”
He made no reply just kept a stone-faced countenance, which he returned to the quarreling couple. She watched from her own stance by the car, both of them witnesses to the scene playing out on a lone stretch of highway somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
It was clear by the twitch at the top of his jaw, Clay had been silent long enough and was through being the object of amusement to the captive audience. He took matters into his own hands—literally. His right hand reached out and took Kaitlyn’s elbow in a firm grip. He threw a coarse directive at the amused pair.
“This is a private matter, so excuse us.” Brooking no arg
ument from a now squirming Kaitlyn, he half led, half pulled her to the side of the road, out of earshot of the others.
“Let… me… go!” Kaitlyn ground through clenched teeth, and effectively jerked free of his grasp. He let her go but stood his ground.
“You dare to come after us and…” she began but was not allowed to continue.
“I dare anything I want. I have listened to you, and to everyone else for far too long. It’s my turn to speak and you’ll listen.”
Kaitlyn raised her chin in defiance at his words. High noon. Time to finish it. If this was how he wanted it, then so be it.
Crossing her arms tightly across her chest, she challenged him. “Well? Now what lies are you going to try and sell to me?”
The thunderous look in his eyes should have been enough to silence her. “Please do make it fast. I have wasted too much of my time already going down memory lane.”
This scored a hit and brought a pause from the ranger. Years of training himself to remain stoic in crises had certainly paid off for Clay since she had come back into his life. He had taken note of that fact often in the last few days. This moment was no exception. He flinched away the pain in the region of his heart that only she ever had the power to inflict upon him.
“You left without saying goodbye.”
She blinked at the surprise of his words. They were clearly not what she expected. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
“Goodbye? Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?” She threw the words back, obviously trying hard to maintain control of her voice. “You were the one who left, remember? Without even a backward glance—not once, but twice. And you accuse me of not saying goodbye to you?”
“I’m here now,” Clay said. “I can’t change what happened twelve years ago.”
