“I wish you would. I’m fighting this a bit, thinking it’s ridiculous, wondering what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.”
Despite that, she’d stayed in position. “I appreciate the way you’re working through your struggle.” He thumbed a piece of hair back from her forehead. “I stopped at the coffee shop and waited in line with about six thousand other people, a number of them girls from a softball team and their overwhelmed parents.”
“A Saturday hazard.”
“I didn’t mind at all. But it was more than that. Before leaving, I not only looked up your address but also the closest place that was actually on my way. I left early enough to ensure I was still on time so I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“I’m sorry.” She shifted restlessly, but she didn’t get up. “Maybe I’m missing your point, but I’m not following you.”
“I stopped because I knew it would please you. Today, everything is about giving you a memorable day. My point is this… In any successful relationship, D/s or vanilla, each partner makes tiny sacrifices, does small things, acts of service as it were, because it makes the other person happy. I didn’t have to bring coffee. You don’t have to look so ravishing. You don’t have to greet me on your knees, but it makes me happy, encourages me to think of even greater ways to show you my pleasure.”
She smiled. “This is definitely not worse than being with six thousand kids at the local coffee shop. And that location doesn’t even have a drive-through, if I remember?”
“I’d stand in the line three times to see that look on your face when you realized I was carrying a coffee cup. In fact, one day I hope that you will smile at me the same way.”
“The smile was for you,” she reassured him.
“Nice try.”
She grinned.
“Now, to greet me properly…”
“Yes?”
That was exactly the response he’d hoped for. “I’d like you kneeling up, not back.”
She’d been resting on her calves, and she straightened her posture.
“Nice. Legs farther apart.”
The dress constricted her a little, but she did as he asked.
“Within these guidelines, I’ll leave the rest to your discretion. Your hands can be by your sides or on your thighs, but with your palms up and gaze cast down.”
She nodded.
“Or, you can link your hands behind your back or neck. Either way, I want you to tip your head back.”
“So no direct eye contact.”
“Until I speak, no.” He heard her breath catch, which told him this was becoming more real to her. “At any rate, I always want your shoulders back. Now show me.”
Her motions were a bit unsteady, as if she were concentrating on his instructions, trying to remember and, if he was right, she also had a good deal of nerves mixed in.
She placed her hands on her thighs, palms up, shoulders back, gaze down.
“Couldn’t be any better. Now with your hands by your sides.”
Just as wonderfully, she did that, as well.
“And behind your back.”
It took her a few seconds to remember to tip her head back.
“And now behind your neck.”
When she did, he caught his breath. She’d moved aside her hair, and it cascaded down her back. It took every bit of control not to fist his hand in it and, instead, remain at a distance while he acquainted her to his form of Dominance. “What did I tell you about your gaze?”
“No eye contact. Sir.”
He walked around her twice, slowly.
Once, she turned her head to follow him, but when he raised an eyebrow, she returned to the correct position. “Good. Now look at me.”
She did. Her eye color appeared a bit lighter. Unless it was his imagination, they had a dreamy quality, perhaps meaning that she was surrendering to her internal battle. “You’ve done this correctly, and the last requirement is that you be nude.”
Lara sucked in a breath.
“Show me that.”
She blinked a couple of times, looked down at the floor, then back up.
“We can go in the living room if you’re more comfortable.”
“I’m not comfortable being naked anywhere,” she said.
“You’ll learn. And don’t tarry, otherwise I will take away your clothes when we’re at my house.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Oh absolutely I would. Your confidence is my aphrodisiac.” He offered his hand and helped her to stand.
He held her hand until they reached the living room. The blinds were closed, and it looked as if she’d prepared the house for her absence. The air-conditioning had been turned off, and a bag sat near the door. Fortunately, an overhead fan churned through the heat.
Connor sat on the couch and watched her twist her hands together. He waited, and he’d do so as long as it took.
“Am I allowed a rug or anything?”
“If you’re greeting me when I’ve been out, absolutely. If you’re kneeling for my pleasure, serving me perhaps, then no.”
“Right now, I mean.”
“You tell me.”
“Right. No rug.”
“Good girl.”
“I’ve never done a striptease before.”
“Don’t start now. Skip that and go straight to a strip now.”
Despite his urging, she took her time, exposing her skin a satiny inch at a time. Finally, when she’d pulled the dress over her head, she draped it over the back of a nearby chair.
Her champagne-colored bra was demure—understated and sexy because of it. Her thong was nothing more than a scrap of dark blue silk. Tonight, he knew, he’d make this woman his.
She reached back to unhook her bra then allowed the straps to fall down her shoulders. After shrugging, she tossed the bra on top of the dress.
“You’ve got great breasts, Lara. Have you ever worn nipple clamps?
“No.”
The way she’d responded to his touch yesterday, he’d bet she’d enjoy them.
She removed her thong and tossed it on the pile.
“Before you kneel, please turn. Slowly.”
A gorgeous pink colored her cheeks.
“Think of me,” he reminded her. “Not yourself.”
“That’s not all that easy.”
“Think of the feeling of accomplishment, then.”
She shook her head but did as he said.
“Wait. Stop.” Her back was to him. “I’ve got to look at your ass.” He imagined her closing her eyes or sighing. But it didn’t matter since he couldn’t see her reaction. “Spread your legs a little farther. Then grab your ankles.”
“Maybe your other women were super flexible.”
“Do your best. Your knees or calves are fine.”
She managed to hold onto herself just above her ankles. Her hair touched the floor, and her pussy and ass were on perfect display. And yet, he demanded more. ”Reach back and spread your buttocks for me.”
Once she had, his balls pulsed. “You asked once if I ever had regular sex. This is why I don’t. The way you respond, the way you’re so gorgeously displayed for me… I would absolutely have no interest in having you just get into bed at the end of the day and lie there while you’re thinking of something else. I have no interest in just sticking my dick in you and getting off. I want this. I love seeing your body spread wide open for me. The sight of your asshole…”
Her knees wobbled.
“And I’m imagining fucking it.”
She released her grip.
“That’s what you want, too. What you’ve been looking for. You told me before that you were left unfulfilled, wanting might have been your word. This… This, Lara. For today, just today, don’t fight it. We owe it to ourselves before we sign the contract. Put aside your inhibitions, doubts, fear, and just go with the experience. Get everything possible out of it. Can you do that?”
Chapter Seven
Lara considered her answer
. His words—naughty and slightly dirty—aroused her, and that shocked her. He ordered her to do things she’d never done before, and they thrilled her. He was right. Until Connor, she’d been wanting more, wondering if her lackluster sexual experiences were typical. But now…
She had to know.
He was offering her the opportunity to experience things she might otherwise know nothing about.
So far, the things they’d done had turned her on, even the spanking, and the slight sting from the harder single tail strike. Even if they ultimately didn’t marry, she knew she’d be sorry if she missed this opportunity.
He was right that she wanted everything he’d mentioned, no matter how scandalous the suggestion.
He’d told her previously that being honest with herself might be her biggest challenge. She’d had no idea how prophetic those words were. “Yes,” she admitted aloud.
“Give me today?”
She nodded.
“Good. Now kneel as if you’re greeting me.”
Lara had to focus on his instructions and ignore her embarrassment. After what they’d shared and she’d just done, there couldn’t be anything more to worry about.
She knelt, spread her knees wide, put her hands behind her neck then tipped her head back. A bit belatedly, she remembered to draw her shoulders together.
“Very nice.”
Her hair flowed down her back and she stayed in position as he stood over her and looked down.
She avoided eye contact but not the awareness of his proximity and power…or that of her own arousal.
He slowly walked around her. Even though he’d done so in the kitchen, here, with her being naked, she experienced it in a whole new way.
When he was in front of her again, he stopped. “I like the way your body is open for me.
He crouched in front of her. Staying in position was more difficult than she could have imagined. Gently, he cupped her breasts.
She started to sway toward him, but caught herself.
“Damn.” He took hold of her nipples and rolled them gently.
“Mmm,” she said, the sound part moan, part plea.
Connor responded by tugging up on her nipples, pulling them away from her body.
It hurt, ached, but it also felt exquisite.
“You like that,” he said.
She closed her eyes, just allowing herself to enjoy the moment.
“I’m going to slap your cunt.”
In a moment of panic, she started to close her legs.
“What’s your word if you need me to slow down?”
The question jolted her out of her momentary fear.
“Bring your head to neutral and look at me.”
She took a steadying breath. He was right there, looking directly at her. At one time she’d thought his eyes were cold. Now the gray seemed molten. She drew strength from him as well as reassurance.
He stroked a finger across her cheekbone. “What do you say if you’re lost, need to connect, need a break?” he repeated.
“Yellow.”
“And if you need to stop immediately?”
“Red.”
“And where are you now?”
“I’m fine.” Her voice sounded surprisingly strong. “A little apprehensive, honestly. I know it will hurt. But I’m willing to try.”
“Have I asked you to do anything that’s caused you more pain than pleasure?”
Even the single tail had been enjoyable. The sting had faded quickly. “No, Sir.”
“Are you ready to continue?”
In that moment, she realized that he’d read her slight nervousness and had responded to it. He’d let her know what he was doing and made sure she was okay. “Yes.” She nodded. “Yes, Sir. I am.”
“Let’s go back to where we were. I want you to give yourself over. Keep your body as relaxed as you can. Great posture, please, so that you’re thrusting your breasts out. And tip your head back.”
Chastened, she returned to the correct, open stance, and he started to torment her pussy. She was beginning to really understand his version of Dominance and how he ensured her compliance.
His touches, squeezes, pulls and the strokes against her swollen clit all were starting to drive her mad. She could do nothing but endure. And, she admitted, enjoy.
Lara concentrated on her breathing and she closed her eyes. That seemed to help her stay focused.
He palmed her breasts again, teasing. He tugged on each nipple in turn, and he pulled them high. Little pulses of exquisite torture ran through her.
“Do you like that?”
“Yes, Sir.” And she did. She’d never known how much.
“Most times, if we’re having a scene, I’ll keep you tied. Right now, I want you to work on keeping your arms where I told you. Consider that you’re tied, by my will. More of a challenge, and you may have to fight your own reactions. But if you really can’t endure this, you can move.”
She felt him slide a dampened finger between her pussy folds and she rocked her hips forward a bit.
“That’s it.” In response, he moved his hand.
Lara groaned.
Her body began to shake as he brought her to the edge of an orgasm and kept her there.
“I enjoy playing with you, little Lara, learning about your responses.”
“This is incredible for me, Sir,” she admitted. Part of her wanted to hold onto him, look at him, but another part felt free to just savor, not worrying about what he thought or what his facial expressions meant. This was what she had been hoping for when she’d played with a blindfold, the ability to simply experience rather than anticipate what was next.
“Are you on the edge?”
“Right there,” she admitted.
“What would it take? A little more pressure on a nipple?”
She couldn’t give voice to the truth. That just a little more pain would tip her over the edge.
“Maybe my thumbnail across your clit?”
In response to his vivid description, she jerked.
“A finger inside you? Two? Three? Forcing your cunt wider, letting me feel your G-spot?”
Lara pursed her lips to hold back a whimper. Even the suggestion was enough to make her mad.
“Maybe one up your ass?”
All that. All of it.
He slapped her pussy, hard. She gasped, screamed, but no matter what, she stayed where she was, open, her arms behind her, available for his torment.
“I want your orgasm,” he ordered, words biting, as if sharpened by jagged glass. He slapped her again.
She screamed as she came.
“Gorgeous,” he approved, catching her body as she pitched forward. “In every way.”
“That…” Lara couldn’t think.
“Put your arms around me.”
She was only peripherally aware of doing what he said. As if it came from far away, she felt his soothing touch and absorbed his mumbled words of reassurance. He stroked her hair, then put a hand behind her head to hold her protectively against his chest.
There was nowhere she would rather be.
It took her a few minutes for her breathing to regain its normal pattern. The whole time, Connor held onto her. Part of her never wanted him to let go.
“I think I liked that,” she admitted. Eventually she pulled away. “When you first mentioned that you were going to slap me there—”
“On your cunt?”
“On my cunt,” she repeated somewhat hesitantly. “I wasn’t sure if I could take it. But it was amazing. You know, in future it may help me if you don’t tell me what you’re planning to do.” But she was greedy. Everything else he’d said, she wanted it, too. His words lingered and tantalized. Now that she’d discovered this side of sex, she was ravenous.
“It’s a balance,” he agreed. “To prepare you, let you know what to expect. But if you know something’s coming, your brain can supply the rest and fills in the blanks with fears.”
“I understand that.
”
“Fear is one of the most powerful of all emotions. To conquer it is to succeed in life.”
“You’re sounding a bit like a philosopher.” Or a man who’d been through a big test. She put her hands on his chest and pushed back a little so she could look at his face. He believed what he was saying, clearly. “Do you tell yourself that every day?”
“It’s a mantra.”
“Fear can be useful,” she argued. “Without it, you can behave recklessly.”
“Indeed. That’s where discernment comes in. But it’s easy to let fear keep us stuck where we are.”
“Sometimes the boogeyman really is out there,” she replied.
“Most times he’s in your head. Take the last scene, for example. In just a few seconds, you built it up to be something worse than the experience actually was. In fact, you could have said no and not had that shattering orgasm.”
And the after-effects still lingered.
“Let’s get you to my house.”
She nodded.
He stood and helped her up.
“I should take a quick shower.”
“Do you have a handheld showerhead?”
“Don’t get any ideas. I’ll be right back.”
He picked up her clothes and didn’t offer them to her. “Show me the way.”
His jaw was set, meaning that any argument would be futile. She sighed. Another thing she could learn from. The man didn’t waste time with disagreements. He just asserted his will until it became a force in and of itself.
Connor followed her as she walked toward the back of the house and into her bedroom. Being naked was beginning to feel more normal, but it was still a bit startling to know he was behind, watching her.
He deposited her clothing on the bed. “Through there?”
She nodded, and he led the way into the small master bathroom. Since the house was older, it had been an addition. Her space wasn’t luxurious, like his.
Maybe moving into his home would be better. She’d miss her neighbors and the backyard, but the soaker tub was an enticing trade-off.
He moved the shower curtain aside and reached into the stall to turn on the water. A few seconds later he said, “In with you.”
She moved past him. “You’re going to get wet.”
“I’ll worry about that.”
Connor directed the gentle spray just below her breasts.
Bind Page 13
