"I hate unpredictability," Crispin hissed.
"Of course you do," Vasiht'h said. "Because you can't know that it won't happen to you again."
The D-per looked up.
"Your loss," Vasiht'h said gently. "You don't know how to stop it from happening again. None of us do, though. All we can count on is that loss is inevitable. It's the timing, though. Never knowing when."
"None of you are going to lose the way I am," Crispin said. "None of you are going to live forever."
Vasiht'h thought of Jahir, his heart twisting.
"What?" The D-per leaned over the table, eyes staring. "What is it? You thought of something and it hurt you. Tell me what it is."
"I'm mind-bonded to an Eldritch." Vasiht'h refreshed his tea to heat it up again and forced himself to sip. "And I miss him. I often think of what he'll do after I'm dead, since he's going to live... I don't know. A thousand years longer than me. Maybe more."
"He's your friend?" Crispin asked, puzzled.
"He's closer than my friend. He's..." Vasiht'h sighed, smiled. "He's another piece of my soul. And I'm another piece of his. That's why I spend so much time worrying about him having enough friends and family. He'll need people with him when I die."
"You're planning for it." The D-per sounded confused.
"Of course? I love him. I want him to be all right." Vasiht'h set his cup down. "Maybe that's the problem. Maybe D-pers need some longer-lived people to love, so you don't have to worry about them dying quite so fast."
"I don't love!" Vasiht'h chose not to disagree with that, and Crispin's uniform swarmed with writhing figures. "I don't!"
"Not since your first captain," Vasiht'h said.
Another long frozen moment. This one was so prolonged it made the D-per's origins obvious, because only a solidigraph could have remained so still for so long, like a paused projection. "You... you shouldn't know about that. You aren't allowed to know about that." Crispin leaned so close he was over the tea cup, his face only a few inches away from Vasiht'h's, and something about his body made it seem like he was extruding himself rather than leaning, profoundly unnatural, unsettling. "I want you to die."
"So you've said," Vasiht'h answered, trying not to tremble. He looked into the mad eyes of yet another of the Pelted's children and felt a pulse of remorse and pity. How could they keep making so many sentients, and getting it wrong? When would they learn the lessons of the humans who'd made them? Or was that fair? Was it better to be alive, with the potential for misery and sickness, or never live at all?
That, at least, was an easy question, if a poignant one.
"I'm going to kill you," Crispin whispered, which was far more disturbing.
"You've mentioned that too," Vasiht'h said, wishing he'd eaten one of the cookies he'd gotten from the genie, feeling absurdly that he would have liked to have had a final meal before dying.
"Why. Aren't. You. SCARED."
"I am," Vasiht'h answered, soft. "I'm just not only scared. I hope, just a little."
"That I'll change?"
"Until we die," Vasiht'h said, "we can always make different choices, alet. And you will never die."
The screech that came out of Crispin's mouth bled into an artificial noise that flattened Vasiht'h's ears and made him cringe away. When he looked up, the D-per was gone. With a sigh he cleaned up the table, drank the rest of the tea to settle his stomach, and padded to his nest beside the Chatcaavan Queen to lie down.
Qora opened an eye. "Not go well?"
"I'm still here," Vasiht'h said, and looked up at the ceiling, willing the D-per to hear him. "I'm here."
The Glaseah expected that to be it. For the night, if not the entire trip. Sometimes you gambled and lost, and the non-expression on Crispin's face hadn't mattered: that noise... Vasiht'h shuddered, remembering it. No, he was sure he was done with the D-per, no matter his regrets and his desire to help, and he put his head down on his pillows expecting to wake up in the morning and resume their unnerving routine.
But the D-per pounced him in his nest, and it was so unexpected Vasiht'h yelled and would have accidentally smacked Crispin in the head had the D-per chosen to be solid.
"What! What? Crispin? Are you all right?"
"You," Crispin hissed. "Are going to die. Today. With all your friends."
Vasiht'h froze.
"But not here," Crispin finished, teeth bared. "Because I don't want to see. Go to your little ship. Before it's too late. Now."
Vasiht'h didn't bother to ask, which was good because the D-per vanished. Lunging for Qora, Vasiht'h said, "Wake up! Wake up we have to go now! Go get the Faulfenza!"
Qora sat up, ears rising. "Trouble?" he asked, voice husky.
"It's now or never," Vasiht'h said. "I'll get Sediryl."
"I will carry the dragon."
Vasiht'h dashed into the bedchamber. "Sediryl! Sediryl, we have to go!" She didn't lift her head, and when he grabbed her arm, she twitched but didn't wake. "SEDIRYL!"
Jumping up, twisted in her blankets, she reminded him somehow of Jahir... were they both tossers? Their bed was going to be full of ropes by morning. If any of them survived. "What? Vasiht'h? What's wrong?"
"We have to go, now!"
"We can't do that," Sediryl rubbed her eyes. "Today we're dropping out of Well. I've got to stay. Lead... lead this fight. Or something."
"If we don't go now, we're going to die," Vasiht'h said. "Crispin promised."
"Crispin!"
"I know how it sounds. But trust me."
Something crossed her face then, like a shadow over a field. "So. The mutiny's started."
"He didn't say, but we have to go now." Vasiht'h grimaced. "Sediryl, we've gotten the fleet here. That's going to have to be enough, because I want to survive to have children and see yours. Qora's got the Queen and the Faulfenza moving. We've got to go. Crispin said we have a ship?"
"Y-yes." She thrust the blankets aside and wrapped a robe around herself. "It's in one of the holds."
"Then we've got to move. Before it's too late!"
Was it some new game Crispin was playing with them? Did it matter if it was? Vasiht'h had a point. Unless the fleet decided to turn around-
-what if the fleet decided to turn around-
"Come on!" Vasiht'h said.
Sediryl thought of the Chatcaavan Queen, and her choice to remain behind. Should she stay? What would that accomplish except her death, unless Crispin was on her side? And if he wasn't, wasn't it better to find out now, by dying with Jahir's partner and the Chatcaavan Queen, and what few Faulfenza she'd rescued? Rather than alone amid pirates, who would probably torture her before she died? Or sell her.... Or worse....
"If you don't come now I'm going to drag you," Vasiht'h snarled.
Startled by the menace in his voice, she jerked upright, after him, out the bedchamber. She left the pirate queen clothes and boots and lace behind, and didn't care if she never saw anything like it again. If heading for the hold in a nightrobe was going to get her assaulted, she'd take it, just to never play that role again.
I'm sick of this, she realized, and feeling it, was relieved. I would rather die than keep doing this.
"Where's the ship?" Vasiht'h asked. Qora was waiting for them with the Queen in his arms, and he fell in behind them as Sediryl strode from their chambers. She stopped in front of the pirate guarding her door.
"Where are the landing bays?" she asked.
"Ma'am?" he replied, startled.
"The landing bays," she repeated.
"Ah... the computer should be able to get you there, ma'am?"
But the computer was Crispin... or at least, he lived in the computer. She didn't want to see him again-what if he changed his mind? If this was an honest attempt to help them? Ignoring her trepidation, Sediryl addressed the corridor. "Show us the way to my personal ship."
A strip lit along the walls, all the way to the lift.
"That'll do."
"Are you leaving, ma'am?"
/> She stopped short. If she said ‘yes' would he stop her? Betray her to the mutineers? Demand to come with her?
One of the Faulfenza stepped behind the man and broke his neck with a sound that punched her gut with nausea. She stared, shocked, as he fell, and the sound he made hitting the ground...
"Don't," Qora said from beside her. "We don't have time."
"You... he...."
"You've done enough killing," the new Faulfenzair said, ears rolled flat. "It is our turn now." And with a courteous inclination of the head all out of keeping with the body at their feet, "Lead us, please."
No answer to that, because if she started talking she might vomit or scream and there was no time. She turned and headed for the lift.
The trip to the Visionary should have been fraught. Her group didn't fit into one lift, so she had to wait for it to disgorge her Faulfenzair honor guard, because that's what it became once they started moving: three preceded her and three trailed behind, forming a globe around her, Vasiht'h, and the Queen in Qora's arms. When the Faulfenza found pirates, they killed them, disarmed them, kept moving. One of them died; none of them let Sediryl stop to mourn. They simply picked up the body of their comrade and resumed following the computer guidance toward the landing bay.
The doors to that bay opened just as something changed-some sound, or lack of sound, or vibration-and Sediryl paused, all senses jangling.
"The ship is dropping out of Well," the Faulfenzair who'd broken the guard's neck said, resting a hand on Sediryl's back. "You can open this ship? We need to leave."
"Yes," Sediryl agreed. Pulling herself together: "Yes." She jogged toward the Visionary, the robe flapping around her ankles, and found her eyes watering. Had she truly believed she'd never see it again? She must have, because the sight of it was miraculous, more so than any theophany she'd ever imagined. It dropped its ramp and all the Faulfenza followed her inside, and Vasiht'h, and Qora with the Chatcaavan Queen, and the lights came up....
Maia didn't speak. Sediryl had held out hope. "Come on, quickly. The sooner we're out of here, the better."
The last Faulfenzair was already closing the hatch while the rest vanished down the corridor, leaving her to the bridge. It felt like an eternity since she'd sat in the chair before the control panels, and watching them wake for her was gratifying even as the sight of them arrested her.
"What is it?" Vasiht'h asked, joining her, looking nervous. "Is something wrong?"
She ignored him to call into the corridor. "Anyone back there a pilot?"
Some talk in their language. A few raised voices. Someone left the group, joined her: a striking female, black and ginger and cold white with orange eyes. "I can fly Alliance ships."
"Then fly this one," Sediryl said. She looked at the doors barring their way to freedom and swallowed. One more task. She opened the intership comm channel. "Crispin."
No answer.
"Crispin, I need you to open the bay doors."
Nothing.
Leaning toward the console, Sediryl said, "Crispin, I killed Kamaney, if you'll remember. That makes me your mistress. Open the bay doors."
Another voice, intruding. "Actually, I'm Crispin's master now. And I think you can stay right where you are until I send some people to get you. ‘Mistress.'"
"Nolan, is it?" Sediryl asked. "Took your time, didn't you?"
"What are you talking about? Took my time?" A laugh. "I've been in charge since you sent this fleet off, ‘Mistress.' You've been hiding in your quarters for so long people have forgotten what you look like."
"I doubt that," Sediryl answered, dry.
"Fine. If they remember it, it's because they want to rhack you, or sell you for a few hundred million fin on the slave market."
"Only a few hundred million?" Sediryl asked as the Faulfenzair next to her woke the engines and began preflight checks. "Seems low to me. I know what I look like."
"Yeah, but you're no virgin, are you."
Sediryl wrinkled her nose. "Tasteless, Nolan. You could do better."
"I'm about to, by raping these Chatcaavan planets and setting myself up as the man in charge. But you're not going anywhere."
"Thanks for the heads-up." Sediryl closed the channel.
"Now what?" Vasiht'h asked, fretful.
What had Maia said? She wouldn't take the Visionary into a fight, but... "Weapons online."
To her surprise-and gratification-the computer murmured, "Weapons systems initializing."
The intership clicked back on. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making myself a door," Sediryl answered, examining the new virtual panel the ship was now floating in front of her.
"There's no way that ship has weapons big enough to bore through a battlecruiser's armor. You're going to waste all your ammo trying."
"Oh, I don't know," Sediryl said. "The doors have to be able to open, and that means there's a seam somewhere. Seams are weak."
"You're crazy. Power those down now."
"Or what?" she asked, interested.
"Or I'll evacuate the air in the compartment."
"Mmm-hmm," Sediryl said, setting the computer on calculating the best shot. The interface was complex, but it had an expert system-did all such ships have one? Had Maia written it and left it behind? "Fortunately for us we're all sealed up in this ship with our own air supply."
"But for how long?"
"I don't know," Sediryl said. "But since you're about to be very busy with the Chatcaava you're here to steal from, I figure you won't be paying much attention to me."
"I'll send people to the bay-"
"Do that," Sediryl answered, her voice growing cold. "I'll turn these lasers on them. I can't wait."
A long pause. Then: "Crispin, stop them."
"Yes, Master," the D-per said.
Vasiht'h leaned over Sediryl's shoulder so abruptly she twitched. "Crispin! Don't! Please!"
This pause was even longer, so long Nolan snapped, "Crispin!"
"Please, Crispin," Vasiht'h said. "Remember, you can always make new choices-"
"Stop them!"
"And if you ever need someone to help you," Vasiht'h finished, to Sediryl's astonishment, "Come find me. Please. I'll help you. You know I will."
"I'll handle this," Crispin said, and the intership shut down as Vasiht'h cried, "Wait!"
Sediryl's shoulders were so tense they radiated pain up through her neck to the back of her skull. The weapons panel flashed a firing solution at her, and it wasn't a good one, but she started to reach for it anyway.
The bay doors gapped open.
"Goddess and Lord," Sediryl whispered, stunned. "Did you... did he..."
"Engaging," the Faulfenzair beside her said, and the Visionary rolled toward the doors, much faster than Sediryl would have thought safe given the size of the egress.
"Don't you think-"
"Strap in," the Faulfenzai said, absent.
Behind Sediryl, Vasiht'h sat with a thump; she heard him scrabbling for the restraints. She pulled hers on as the doors continued to slide open, wider, wider...
...until they stopped.
And started closing...
Before Sediryl could cry out, her pilot-her insane pilot-spurred the ship forward, off the deck, and gunned for the gap. Sediryl covered her face, felt a terrible shudder and a scraping noise that would ring in her nightmares, and then...
"Free!" the Faulfenzair said. "Where now?"
"Home," Sediryl said. Except these were aliens, and home to them was somewhere else. "The Alliance. We need to tell someone-"
The ship shivered again, and alarms sang out.
"That was a proximal hit with a targeting laser," her pilot said. "Evading-"
Sediryl dug through the armament panel, looking for defensive anything. The ship didn't have real shields, not like a battlecruiser's. It barely had armor, as far as she was concerned, because when she looked through the viewports and saw the size of Kamaney's flagship her fingers went cold and started shak
ing. Then, remembering, "We have a Duster!"
The Faulfenzair eyed her askance. "So why are we still visible?"
Sediryl scrambled, looking for some way to activate it, gave up. "Computer, Duster up."
"Duster engaged."
That simple? Were they invisible?
"They're still shooting," the Faulfenzair observed. "Near us. I will creep away."
Sediryl could see the course the pilot was plotting. "The Alliance is the other way."
"Of course it is. They expect us to go there. Or go to Qufiil. They don't expect us to go toward the planet. So we are going toward the planet. Do you understand?"
Sediryl rubbed her face. "Yes. I'm not an idiot."
To her surprise, the female chuckled. "Know you're not. Got us free, this far. Good trick. Lodii Jediize Qualoon."
"Sediryl," she answered. "Just... Sediryl is fine."
"Well, Just Sediryl. You may call me Just Lodii, because we are going to be in this cockpit long enough to grow well acquainted."
"All right, Just Lodii."
The Faulfenzair snorted.
Sediryl shoved her armament panels away and pulled up the sensor display, missing Maia and trying to ignore it. Instead, she concentrated on breathing-breathing, and non-essentials, like, "Vasiht'h? Did you really promise a criminal amnesty?"
"I just offered to help him," Vasiht'h said, twining his fingers together. "That's not the same thing."
Sediryl glanced at him. "You can't help a criminal. That would be abetment."
"They found him not-guilty!"
"Of inducing his superior officer's suicide," Sediryl replied. "But everything he's done since?"
Vasiht'h's wince was almost audible. "Fine. But he saved our lives. Just now."
"Not safe yet," Lodii muttered.
"We're safer than we were," Vasiht'h said. "And we would never have gotten out if Crispin hadn't warned us, and then opened the doors for us."
"Because you asked him to," Sediryl murmured, wondering about that now. "I thought he didn't like you."
From Ruins Page 14
