by Marla Monroe
Celina hoped there was. No one should have to exist without some form of passion inside of them. Even though a piece of her died with Roger, there was still enough of her left to care about these two men who had taken her in. Only time would tell if it was enough to form a bond or not. Until then, she planned to make sure they always felt cared for regardless of their feelings toward her.
* * * *
Russell stretched as he stood up from the chair. Immediately, cold air snaked around his warm back end, seeping beneath his clothes to bite at his skin. It had obviously grown colder since they’d finished dinner earlier. He knew it had felt colder that afternoon when they had returned outside to shovel the snow before it grew too deep to walk in. If he could feel this cold sitting in front of the fire, it was going to be bitter cold upstairs to try to sleep.
“Abe, it feels a lot colder than a few hours ago.” He eased closer to the fire.
“I was afraid it would get colder once the clouds were gone.” He bit off a curse as he glanced toward Celina.
Russell noticed she had fallen asleep curled up on the couch with a thick blanket covering her up to her neck. He looked back at Abe. The other man stood up and walked over to the window to look out around the foam-backed curtain. The man placed the back of his hand against the glass pane. He quickly removed it and returned to stand in front of the fire with him.
“It’s cold enough that sleeping alone upstairs isn’t going to work. We need to drag one of the mattresses down here in front of the fire. We’ll have to sleep together to share body heat.”
Russell could tell that the other man didn’t like the idea one bit. He wondered why it was so repugnant to him. Granted that he would rather not have to share a bed with them either, but it wasn’t a fate worse than death, and Abe seemed to be taking it that way. He nodded and followed the other man upstairs where they chose a room with a king-size mattress and helped him drag it, complete with bed sheets and covers, down the stairs to the great room.
“We’ll need to move the couch back and put the mattress in the middle close to the fire.”
Russell followed Abe’s lead as they gently moved the couch back so they could fit the massive mattress between the two recliners. They made sure to leave plenty of room between the bed and the fireplace so that they could tend to the fire during the night without falling over the mattress.
“What’s going on?” Celina’s sleepy voice stopped them as they straightened the bedclothes and added another blanket to the two already on it.
“The temperature has dropped enough that sleeping upstairs is out of the question now.” Abe didn’t look in her direction as he answered her question.
“Oh.” She didn’t expand on that.
Russell finished his side of the makeshift bed and collapsed on the couch next to her. The covers had slipped from her neck to pool in her lap. Despite the fact that she had on a couple of layers of clothes, there was no disguising her pebbled nipples. He found his eyes drawn to them despite his resolve to stop.
As if oblivious to the fact both he and Abe were staring at her breasts, Celina stood up and dropped the blankets back on the couch.
“I’m going to put on my pajamas. I’ll be back down in a few minutes.”
Russell watched her go, his need to follow her almost overwhelming him. Instead he pulled the blankets she’d abandoned toward him. Her scent teased him as he wrapped them around his body. She smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. Nothing she had fixed for lunch or dinner had boasted either one of those flavors that he was aware of. The scent had to be unique to her.
“This is going to be hell.”
He heard the words despite the fact Abe had pretty much whispered them. No doubt he hadn’t meant to say them out loud.
“Maybe, but she would end up sick if we don’t do this.”
Abe’s head jerked up to stare at him. No, the big man hadn’t meant to say them out loud. His eyes narrowed before he closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.
“I moved out here where there wasn’t anyone for a reason,” he said with a growl.
“I did the same thing. Looks like neither one of us got what we wanted, but maybe we got what we needed anyway.”
“The hell, you say. She isn’t looking for anyone for anything more than keeping her alive.”
“Are you saying you want more from her?” Russell knew he was pulling the tiger’s tail, but Abe needed to face the fact that he wasn’t alone anymore and like it or not, Celina was a woman.
Russell knew she had just lost her husband, but she was pregnant and he remembered how emotional his wife had been when she had been carrying their children. Everything would affect her stronger than usual, and Abe needed to tone down his standoffish behavior. Since he thought the other man was hiding his attraction to the woman behind it, that meant getting him to face some things.
“I–I didn’t say that,” he snapped back.
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over you when you look at her. Hell, you’ve had a hard-on almost since she arrived.”
“Doesn’t mean anything.” Abe turned away to face the fire.
“Right.” Russell shook his head. The man was nothing if not stubborn.
The sound of shoes coming down the stairs stopped him from saying more. Instead, Russell waited for her to join them. When she did, he had to swallow and will his cock to be still. She had let her hair down from the ponytail she’d worn it in all day. The golden tresses glowed in the firelight. She had on a pair of soft-looking pajamas with kittens chasing after balls of yarn and a pair of socks. She’d wrapped a blanket around her shoulders to keep her warm on the walk back to the great room.
“Ready for bed?” Russell stood up and took the lantern from her.
“Yeah. I’m really tired. I woke up too early this morning, I think.”
Russell lifted one side of the covers so she could climb on the mattress. She smiled her thanks and dropped her blanket to crawl across the mattress.
“Stick to the middle, Celina. We’ll sleep on either side of you.” Abe finally spoke up from the other side of the bed.
She stopped and moved around until she seemed comfortable. He caught a fleeting expression slide across her face before it disappeared and was replaced with a serene smile. For an instant, uncertainty filled her eyes. He hoped she would be able to fall asleep fairly quickly. Otherwise, they would all feed off of each other’s nervousness and none of them would get any rest.
Abe peeled off his jeans and shirt until he stood in a pair of thermals. He too left his socks on. Russell began removing his jeans as the other man climbed under the covers, turning his back to them. Once Russell was down to thermals, he slipped in, turning his back to them as well. He doubted any of them touched at all. Hopefully the body heat would still combine to keep them all warm.
As he lay trying not to think about Celina just a few inches behind him, Russell allowed his thoughts to drift in hopes he’d fall asleep soon. They had a long, hard day ahead of them the next day, since the frigid cold would turn the snow to ice, making it much harder to walk in and shovel. Even as that thought kicked in, his skin began to warm to a more reasonable temperature. Together with an uncensored image of Celina lying nude beneath him, his cock grew hard and he drifted off into sleep to dream about the woman and different ways to keep her warm.
Chapter Eight
Celina opened her eyes, filled with the need to get up and start breakfast. Immediately she remembered that they were all sleeping downstairs in front of the fire. She became aware that she wasn’t on a soft mattress anymore, though. A muscular shoulder pillowed her head and her body was wrapped around Abe’s body. She knew it was Abe because of the sheer size of the chest she was hugging.
Dear, God. One leg was thrown over his and she had her knee close to his groin while she seemed to be pressed tightly against his leg with her crotch. To say that her underwear was soaked was an understatement. What in the world had she been dreaming about?
She closed her eyes and relaxed once again. She would enjoy the closeness and feeling of belonging while she had it. In reality it meant nothing to anyone, but she would take advantage of the illusion that everything was fine for now.
“Uh, Celina?” Russell’s voice whispered in her ear. “Are you awake?”
Her eyes popped open. “Yes, but I’m scared to move.”
She felt him slowly extract himself from around her before he scooted over in the bed. She sighed and started to move away from Abe, but his arm around her upper back and the one holding her hip tightened.
“Where are you going?” Abe’s voice sounded husky.
“Abe, it’s Celina.” She figured he was thinking about his wife and not her.
“I know. Where are you going?” he asked again.
“I was going to start coffee and something to eat.”
“Too early. We can’t go outside yet anyway. Rest a little longer.” He tightened his hold on her.
Mortified by the fact that her wet crotch lay against his thermal-covered leg, she almost insisted he let her go. Before she could open her mouth to tell him she needed to get up anyway, Russell returned to his position at her back. She was trapped between them now. Somehow it didn’t make her nervous as much as uncomfortable. Their positions were much too suggestive for her peace of mind.
“Sleep, Celina.” Abe nuzzled her hair before dropping a kiss on her forehead.
She lay there wondering what to make of everything. Why was he okay with their close proximity now when before he’d done everything he could to avoid her? Even the way he spoke had acted like a buffer between them. Confusion swirled in her head and heart. She was old enough to know that her obvious arousal didn’t mean she was being disloyal to her husband’s memory. She had loved Roger. What worried her about it was that Abe didn’t really want her.
The big man had made it obvious that he barely tolerated her presence there in his home. Why would he want to hold her and be near her now? A sickening thought filled her mind. He might be pretending to himself that she was his dead wife. She immediately chastised herself. So what if he was. Hadn’t she been taking advantage of it just a few seconds ago? Who was she to begrudge him comfort if that was what it was to him?
Yet for some reason, it hurt just a little bit. She wanted him to like her and relax some around her. She didn’t like feeling like an imposition or a burden that he had to bear. She was afraid that no matter how much she might help around the house and later, in the garden, he would still see her as an added responsibility that he hadn’t asked for. What could she do to alter his perception of her presence there?
Several minutes later, Abe sighed and released his hold on her. It was obvious that he wasn’t happy—as usual.
“Might as well get up. You’re thinking so hard over there I can hear the wheels turn.” He moved as soon as she moved off of him.
When she started to scoot across the mattress to stand up, he stopped her.
“Stay there until I get the fire built back up. It’s too cold for you to be out from under the covers right now.”
She didn’t argue since he was right. It was colder than anything she’d ever felt before out from under the covers. She pulled them back up to her neck and waited for the room around her to warm some.
“I’ll get the coffee started,” Russell said.
She watched him pull his jeans on over the thermals before buttoning up a long-sleeve shirt. He winked at her then walked toward the kitchen. She turned to watch as Abe added logs to the fire. Once he had it like he wanted, he turned back to look down at her.
“Stay there for another fifteen or twenty minutes. The room should warm up enough for you to be able to stand it. I’m going to go find some jeans and a shirt for you. You should bring your clothes down here to dress in the mornings.”
“Thanks. I didn’t think about that.”
“Guess you wouldn’t have if you haven’t lived in this climate before.” He walked off before she said anything else.
She heard his heavy tread on the stairs as he climbed to the second floor. A few minutes later, she heard him return down the stairs. She looked up when he stepped into view. He didn’t say anything, just dropped some clothes on the couch and headed toward the kitchen. She hoped he’d gotten something that would be warm enough and look decent together. Even if they were the only ones who would see her, she liked to at least not clash if she could help it.
Everything was different now, not only was the world she had grown up in gone, but so was everyone she had ever loved. She had found herself among strangers who had taken her in and offered her safety and even friendship. All she had to offer was her ability to cook. Looking decent seemed trivial when all was said and done, but it gave her some sense of control over her life when she felt as if she had none. It reminded her that she was a woman and not just a burden.
After a while, she decided it had been long enough. There was no way to tell time without a working watch. Self-winding watches were hard to come by, and those that required batteries were a waste, since she couldn’t get a replacement battery.
Celina took the chance that the men wouldn’t venture back into the great room and quickly stripped and dressed once again. Her outfit that Abe had picked out was indeed warm and looked fairly good together. She straightened the bed and hurried into the kitchen to start breakfast. Abe was still inside when she walked through the door. He nodded as he drank his coffee, looking out the window.
When she pulled down a cup to pour her own coffee, Abe stopped her with a hand on her arm.
“Best not to be drinking coffee. The caffeine isn’t good for the baby. Should have said something before now, but I didn’t think about it.”
She scowled at the big man. Deep down she knew he was right, but she really could use the coffee to help stay warm. She sighed and put the cup back before diving into preparing breakfast.
“I’m heading out now. One of us will be back in with the milk and eggs as soon as we can. It’s going to take some work to get the doors open with the snow frozen now.”
“I think that while it’s so cold and hard to get to the milk and eggs, I’m going to keep moving breakfast foods to lunch time and make soup and sandwiches for breakfast.”
Abe nodded without saying anything more. He strode through the door into the great room to dress to go out in the frigid cold. Celina worried about them out there so much, but there were no other options. The work had to be done or they would starve. She was thankful that she had a warm place and a roof over her head. She owed Abe a lot and needed to constantly remind herself of that. There were few men out there now who wouldn’t have taken advantage of her situation. With one more glance at the coffee, she gritted her teeth and got to work on the meal. They would need a hot one when they returned.
* * * *
Abe stretched out in the recliner in front of the fire, relieved that they hadn’t lost any of the cows to the bitter cold so far. He and Russell had worked hard all day making sure the herd had plenty to eat and were staying close together so their body heat would help keep each other warm. The deadly cold had been hell to work in, but thanks to Celina, they had a constant supply of hot coffee and hearty meals. He had to admit that finding the thermos and those travel mugs had been a godsend. Knowing that she worried about them and had tried to find a way to make them more comfortable said a lot about her personality and innate compassion and thoughtfulness.
He opened his eyes to look at her as she sat bundled up on the couch. She hadn’t complained about being cold even though he knew that despite the warmth from the stove, the kitchen wasn’t as warm as the great room was in front of the fire. He needed to double-check
the bedrooms for thermals that would fit her. She could use them under her clothes. Of course, as she grew, they wouldn’t fit anymore. He frowned. He didn’t like thinking about her being pregnant. It reminded him of what he’d lost.
Let it go, Abe. It’s been over eight years. Time to move on.
Still, a part of him didn’t want to forget his family. They deserved to be remembered. They’d loved him as much as he had loved them. He wiped a hand over his face. Dwelling on it wasn’t healthy, though. It occurred to him that maybe he didn’t have to forget about them, just keep them as a memory without letting it drag him down.
Waking up to Celina wrapped around him had felt so good at first. Then he’d realized that she wasn’t his wife and guilt tore into him. After a few minutes he managed to climb out of that hole and appreciate having someone close again. Letting himself enjoy the companionship and closeness having her there had given him went a long way to reminding him that he was human and needed it to remain sane. Eight years of being alone had almost taken his sanity from him.
“As cold as it is, I think we need to forgo bathing until it warms up some. We can suck it up and deal with the body odor for a few days.” Russell’s voice held humor in it.
“I usually don’t bathe unless I have to when it’s this cold,” Abe said. “Think you can handle the stench, Celina?”
She chuckled. “If you can handle mine, I can handle yours. If it gets too bad, there are clothespins in the pantry we can use.”
Russell laughed along with Celina. Abe could feel the beginnings of a smile curve his lips. He relaxed against the chair once again and closed his eyes. It felt good to have others to share the hardships with. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until first Russell then Celina showed up. Yeah, the added responsibility was difficult to accept at times, but he thought that maybe the benefits outweighed the pitfalls.
