For days she’d walked around in a zombie-like half daze and when she’d not been sitting staring out of the window listening to the book singing to her, she’d slept like the dead. Eventually, she’d emerged from her cocoon, maybe not quite as a butterfly but her mind had finally cleared enough for her to rejoin the land of the living. The murmuring was still there, but no longer so loud and all consuming. It now seemed content to fall into the background, never fully retreating, instead it was just enough to maintain the contact between them. It was somehow comforting, the connection between them, and she found herself relaxing for the first time in months.
Ever since she’d returned to Mercy everything had happened so quickly. The wedding, the babies, her family, the book, Nathaniel; she’d felt like she was on a carnival ride she just couldn’t get off. She was still worried, not only was Nathaniel still out there somewhere being disturbingly quiet but she could feel the steady influx of creatures into town. The undercurrent of magic which had always pulsed beneath the ground was getting stronger, building towards something. What that something was she wasn’t sure, but she knew it couldn’t be good.
Still, during her strange dreamlike state she’d somehow come to a decision. Nearly a year ago she’d never even heard of the Hell book. She’d lived in blissful ignorance of its existence and her family’s centuries old obsession with it. But when knowledge of it had finally come to light she’d wanted nothing to do with it. It could stay hidden as far as she was concerned. Unfortunately, she now no longer had the luxury of ignoring it. If she didn’t find it someone else would and if that someone was Nathaniel then they were all in real trouble.
There was really only one choice, she needed to find Infernum. When she’d come to that realization her first thought was to destroy it, but that was before she’d really understood what it was.
They were all wrong. All those who wanted to possess it believed it would give them limitless power but they didn’t realize that it was alive. It wasn’t a fully sentient being but it had an awareness. It was lonely and it was reaching out to her. The book was meant to be hers. She couldn’t explain it, wasn’t entirely sure she understood herself, but she knew she had to protect it at all costs. She couldn’t let it be destroyed, or worse, allow it to fall into the wrong hands.
Theo wouldn’t understand, she sighed quietly. How could she explain to him that she needed the book without sounding like every other obsessed woman in her family? Not that she knew where to look for it. It was close by, of that she was certain, but where? Her mind kept drifting back to something Hester had said to her.
‘When you are ready, the book will find you…’
At the time she hadn’t understood but she was beginning to.
‘Hey,’ a soft voice broke into her thoughts.
She turned and looked up as Theo stepped out of the door and trotted down the first couple of steps, taking a seat next to her.
‘Hey,’ she smiled, leaning in for a kiss.
His fingers tangled in her hair as he lightly gripped the back of her neck, drawing her in close. They both sank into the kiss, needing the contact. Theo pulled back after a moment and studied her face, tracing her jaw lightly with the pad of his thumb.
‘You look better,’ he said finally.
‘I feel better,’ she let out a breath. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so out of it the last few days, I’ve had a lot on my mind and I’ve just been so tired.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked carefully.
She shook her head mutely.
‘Olivia,’ he sighed, ‘I’m worried about you. You don’t talk to me anymore.’
She looked up into his dark eyes, staring into the face she loved so much and her heart clenched. She still hadn’t told Theo about the man she’d met at the lake, the one who called himself Rhys, not that he was a man. To be honest she wasn’t entirely sure what he was.
He wasn’t a spirit, of that she was certain. He’d called himself an echo, but she wasn’t sure that’s what he was either. After all, echoes were a series of repetitions which could not deviate from their original set of actions. He had a consciousness, he was able to think, to interact, unless of course, the whole thing had been in her head.
Her uncle Davis who’d pulled her from the lake after she’d been thrown in, had told Theo he’d seen her standing on her own on the dock. It was obvious she was the only one who’d been able to see Rhys. Did that make her mentally unstable? Was she losing her mind?
‘I’m sorry Theo,’ she shook her head, deciding it was probably best not to mention the strange meeting to him. ‘I’ve had so much going on in my head it’s been hard to separate it all.’
‘I know,’ he agreed. ‘I know how hard it was to hear what your mother told you about your grandmother the other night. I can’t pretend to understand how that feels, but don’t shut me out.’
‘I didn’t want to think about her,’ she replied quietly. ‘I didn’t want to feel anything but anger for my mother, but now…’
‘You sympathize with her?’ he guessed.
‘Not exactly,’ she shook her head, trying to align her thoughts. She looked down at her rounded belly and ran her hand over it softly.
‘I can only imagine how hard it was to have someone turn their back on you because you weren’t good enough, but then to have that person manipulate everyone around you, to take away everything you loved. I thought my grandmother loved me, but all she did was turn me away from my mother time and time again. It would kill me to see my children turn their backs on me and run into someone else’s arms.’
‘You didn’t know Livy,’ he soothed his hand over hers as they both cradled their children nestled safely and contentedly in her womb. ‘You were a child; she used you as part of her manipulation. It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Maybe not intentionally but I certainly played my part, we all did, me, my dad, even Aunt Evie. Whether we knew it or not, we all had our part in pushing my mom over the edge. I’m beginning to think my mom was right, our family is cursed.’
‘I don’t believe in curses,’ Theo smiled slowly as he felt the babies move beneath his hand.
‘Sometimes it just feels like this will never be over,’ she sighed. ‘I just want to live my life with you and our children.’
‘I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment,’ he soothed her as much as the babies, stroking her belly softly, ‘and you feel it more than anyone, the weight of responsibility, but we will get through this together. We’ll find a way to stop Nathaniel and we’ll find the book and destroy it, then we’ll be free and you will be safe.’
Olivia stared up into his eyes. She wanted to open her mouth, she wanted to tell him she couldn’t destroy the book and that she meant to keep it, but the words just wouldn’t come.
‘I’m going to head back in, the others will be here soon,’ he stood and whistled for Beau who’d been sleeping peacefully at the foot of the steps. He stood up and scrambled up the stairs to Theo, who leaned forward and dropped a kiss on Olivia’s forehead, picking up her empty mug. ‘Don’t stay out here brooding too long, the sun’s going down and it’s getting cold.’
Olivia watched silently as he climbed back up the stairs and disappeared through the door into the kitchen.
‘He won’t understand you know,’ a familiar voice spoke up from the lengthening shadows.
‘Understand what?’ Olivia’s gaze turned and fixed on her mother, not in the least bit surprised to see her standing there.
‘Your need for the book,’ she stepped more fully into the dying light.
‘And you do I suppose?’ she sighed.
‘No one outside of our bloodline can know the draw it holds over us. No one else has heard its siren song or felt that pull deep in their soul,’ Isabel replied.
‘What do you want mom?’ Olivia frowned, ‘my forgiveness? You want me to say I understand? That it doesn’t matter you killed those men, or hurt so many pe
ople?’
‘No I don’t want that Olivia,’ she stepped closer to the foot of the stairs looking up at her daughter. ‘I don’t expect forgiveness,’ her voice dropped low, her eyes distant, ‘there’s no way back for me now.’
‘Then what do you want?’
Isabel climbed up the steps and sat down next to Olivia on the step Theo had just vacated.
‘Time is running out,’ Isabel murmured looking out across the lake at the undulating gateway deep in the heart of the lake. ‘You don’t know it yet but we are all set on a collision course and it’s too late to change direction.’
Olivia frowned in confusion as she followed her mom’s line of vision and came to a startling realization.
‘You can see it, can’t you?’ she breathed slowly, ‘the Hell gate?’
‘I see a great many things,’ she replied turning her vivid lavender colored eyes on her daughter. ‘Olivia, there are some things I need to tell you, things I should have said a long time ago.’
‘Such as?’ she frowned.
‘There’s one thing I want you to know.’
Olivia stared at her mother expectantly.
‘I wanted you;’ she replied softly, ‘I always wanted you.’
‘That’s not what you said last winter when you came to the house to steal Hester's Grimoire,’ Olivia replied stiffly. ‘You said you thought about killing me; that you never wanted to be pregnant.’
‘I lied,’ she glanced at Olivia her violet colored eyes deep with regrets. ‘I knew,’ she sighed quietly, ‘I knew the moment you were conceived. I felt you spark to life inside me, so powerful already. From the moment you came to be I knew you were special, I knew what you were.’
‘You said…’
‘I know what I said,’ Isabel shook her head, ‘but I’m asking you to hear me now. I knew I couldn’t hide my pregnancy from my mother, but for those first few hours, you were mine, all mine. It wasn’t about power, curses or Hell books. You were my daughter and I can’t even begin to tell you how that felt, knowing you were growing inside me.’
‘Nervous,’ Olivia whispered placing her hand on her own belly, ‘scared and excited but above all… filled with love.’
‘Yes,’ Isabel whispered in return, her eyes glistening in the dim light. ‘I thought, finally I have someone I could love without boundaries, someone who would love me unconditionally in return, someone who wouldn’t care about my lack of power.’
Olivia tried to swallow past the lump of lead in her throat.
‘I’m sorry,’ she breathed.
‘No I’m sorry,’ Isabel took Olivia’s face in her hands. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother you deserved, I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger, I’m sorry I let all my hate and rage and bitterness poison me. I’m sorry for what I became…but Olivia you have to know, that even in my darkest moments, even at my most cruel and selfish…I always, always loved you.’
‘Mom,’ Olivia choked, blinded by tears.
Isabel pulled her daughter into her arms and held her tightly wrapping her soft dark hair into her hand.
‘I love you Olive,’ she whispered in her ear, ‘I will always love you. No matter what happens in the coming days, I will always be your mom.’
Olivia held on to the familiar and comforting embrace; even after twenty years she still smelled and felt the same. She buried her face into her mom’s neck and cried. Cried for the child she’d been, for all the years that child had grown up desperately wanting her mother. She cried at the unfairness of everything that had been taken from both of them. She cried for the blood on both their hands, first for the men her mother had killed at the height of her madness and for the lives she herself had been responsible for when Salem had burned. She cried out her fear and uncertainty for the coming days and for the lives of her own children. It was a purge and for one precious moment, they were simply just mother and daughter again. She didn’t want to let go, the child in her wanted to shut out the world and hold on, but the woman in her knew nothing either of them had done could be whitewashed.
Finally she pulled back and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Isabel handed her a tissue, surreptitiously wiping away a tear that had escaped her own eye. She smoothed Olivia’s hair the way she used to when she was a child.
‘We can’t go back Olive,’ she murmured, ‘neither of us can change the past and this is far from over.’
‘I know,’ Olivia winced, stiff from sitting on the cold steps for so long.
Isabel stood and held out her hand. Olivia stared at it for a moment before finally taking it and allowing her mother to help her stand. They both walked down the steps slowly, stopping at the bottom. Olivia placed her hand on the small of her back stretching her spine.
‘Oomph,’ she clasped her stomach gently, ‘they’re restless tonight.’
‘May I?’
Olivia stared at her mother then slowly she nodded, watching as Isabel placed her hand on her stomach, smiling softly as she felt her grandchildren move beneath her palm.
‘You are going to be an amazing mother Olive,’ her eyes deepened to an incredible shade of lavender.
‘I don’t know about that,’ she murmured, ‘most of the time I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.’
‘Every mother feels like that,’ she replied.
They both turned, looking out over the lake at the giant gateway only they could see. Now that the sun had fully set and as night descended the gateway shone with a strange and eerie phosphoresce, giving it an ethereal silvery glow.
‘It’s weakening,’ Isabel spoke quietly, ‘the Hellmouth. If Nathaniel gets his hands on the book, he will unleash Hell on Earth and Mercy will be the gateway.’
‘I don’t know how to stop him,’ Olivia admitted slowly.
‘There’s only one way to stop him,’ Isabel turned back to Olivia, grasping her arms gently. ‘Olive…he’s not who you think he is…he’s…’
They both looked up as the back door opened and her father stepped out onto the back porch. Olivia felt her mother stiffen next to her and watched curiously as her mom and dad stared at each other, their expressions unreadable. She would have expected him to go nuts and launch himself at her. Given the way he’d reacted the last few times the subject of her mother had come up she was astounded and more than a little curious to see them both regarding each other warily, the air filled with tension. It was obvious something had happened between them.
‘Olivia,’ Charles smooth voice filled the air, crossing the distance between them easily, ‘everyone’s arrived and they’re waiting for you.’
‘Okay,’ she nodded turning back to her mother. ‘Do you want to come in?’ she asked awkwardly.
‘No sweetheart,’ she shook her head, ‘you go be with your friends.’
Olivia watched as her mother ran her hands down her arms squeezing her hands comfortingly, before turning and walking away.
‘Mom!’
Isabel turned back and smiled, it was almost as if she could sense the conflicting emotions her daughter was experiencing.
‘Don’t worry,’ she whispered, ‘I’ll be here when you need me.’
Olivia nodded slowly, watching in silence as Isabel disappeared into the shadows. She turned and headed up the steps, her father watching her silently his expression guarded. She moved to pass him when his hand shot out and grasped her gently, stilling her movements.
‘Be very careful Olivia,’ he warned quietly, ‘things may not have been as we thought they were, but your mother still can’t be trusted. No matter what she says, she still has an agenda of her own.’
‘Who doesn’t,’ Olivia sighed looking up into her father’s eyes, ‘none of us have clean hands here dad.’
‘Maybe not,’ he rumbled, ‘it’s not a matter of blame but motive. I want you safe and alive above all else, can you say the same thing about her?’
‘Dad,’ she blew out a breath, ‘I love you but I just don’t have the energy
to keep arguing about this. We’re staring down the end of the world; all I want right now is something to eat and an evening with my friends. Now, you are more than welcome to stay if you can keep your mouth shut about mom otherwise you can leave…the choice is yours.’
Not waiting for his answer she stepped through the door and into the kitchen. Following the sound of familiar voices and laughter she headed into the living room. Theo looked and smiled, his eyes knowing and tinged with concern. He’d obviously seen her out there with her mom, but unlike her father had given her the space she needed to deal with it. He always seemed to know what she needed and she found herself suddenly swamped with a wave of love.
‘Love you,’ she mouthed to him and was rewarded with a blinding smile.
‘There you are,’ Louisa, looked up from where she was pacing the room, rocking her restless new-born son. ‘We were about to send out a search party, I’m starving.’
‘You’d think now she’s no longer pregnant her appetite would have returned to normal,’ Tommy laughed as he took a swig of his beer, ‘but she’s still eating for two.’
‘I’m breastfeeding,’ she stuck out her tongue, ‘it burns a lot of calories producing this much milk and your son is a guzzler.’
‘Stop bickering you two,’ Olivia laughed crossing the room and holding out her arms, ‘now give me that baby, he needs some love from his Aunt Olivia.’
Louisa smiled, handing him over and watching as Olivia settled him into her arms and laid a soft kiss on his forehead, breathing him in.
‘Hey beautiful,’ she cooed down to him as he watched her with serious denim blue eyes, ‘I’m working real hard here on growing a couple of playmates for you.’
He blinked and opened his mouth in a yawn.
‘He’s so gorgeous,’ she looked up at Tommy and Louisa.
‘Yes he is,’ Louisa smiled in return. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Good,’ Olivia nodded, ‘although I already feel huge and I’m only just over halfway through this pregnancy.’
‘Yes, but you have got two in there,’ Louisa reminded her, ‘and you won’t make it to what would be considered full term for a single birth, which means you’re further along than you think.’
The Guardians Complete Series 1 Box Set: Contains Mercy, The Ferryman, Crossroads, Witchfinder, Infernum Page 183
