by JA Huss
"I guess. I mean, you're the captain, right?"
"That's not how the 039 works, Junco. We're tight. Perfect."
"What do you want me to say? I forgive you? I do. I doubt I've ever had a real moment of privacy in my life. Why should I care about one more person watching me? It's absurd."
He pulls me next to him and wraps me in his wings. "I'm sorry, OK?"
I squirm in his arms but he doesn't let me go. "I was never really mad about you watching me, Ashur. It doesn't matter."
"Then what's your deal, Junco?"
I look up at him. "I'm not in control of anything. I mean, yeah, soldiering is something I can do. But no one asked me if I wanted to be a soldier here. Or on Earth for that matter. I get that I have to do the Fledge thing, that's not an option if I want to stay. But don't I ever get a say?"
"I never got a say. Tier never got a say. None of us did."
"Yeah, but maybe I'd rather be a woman than a soldier. Did you guys ever think of that?"
His eyes search mine. "Would you really? Is that why you're sleeping with that Kush guy?"
I laugh. "I'm not sleeping with Kush. Don't be ridiculous."
"There's been reports that you spent last night with him up in the observatory."
"Well, yeah. But I was sleeping. Not fucking him."
He chokes on his laugh. "Junco, soldiers talk like that, not women."
I shrug and chew on a fingernail.
He's silent for a few minutes and I wait patiently. "It's just a job, Junco. And compared to some jobs on this stupid habitat, it's a damn good one. Like I said when you first came out of morph, you can have it made here. You just have to give it a chance and try to follow some directions."
This, I think, might be the crux of the problem. "I want to go back to Earth, Ashur. The thought of staying here forever makes me–" I stop and shake my head without finishing.
He hugs me tighter. "I get it. We'll go back, I promise."
"How can you promise that?"
"Because we never finished our job. We still have four Siblings to find. Believe it or not, we spent a lot of time on you. Years, Junco – you and Moju both, actually. You two really sidetracked us big time." He stops and pushes me away, then pulls me up on my feet with him. "When Fledge is over we'll do something else, OK?"
I nod. "OK. Thanks. I'll see you later." There's just nothing good going to come of any of this and there's no room for regrets because I chose this path. It's move forward or die.
Chapter Twenty-One
I don't get more than a few paces inside Fledge before my com beeps. I pull it out of my pocket and stare at the screen. I don't get it. It doesn't say anything, just has some symbol flashing at me. I shove it back in my pocket and start walking towards the stairs when Lucan appears and scares the shit out of me.
"Jasus, Lucan."
"You will ignore my file?"
I stare at him. "What? File?"
He points to my pocket. "The file I just sent you."
I fish the com back out of my pocket and stare at it again. "I don't know how to use this thing. I never had my own com on Earth."
He reaches out and I hand him the com. "Come here and sit, I'll show you."
"I'm tired, Lucan. Can't we do this–"
"Sit."
I take a seat on the bench he's motioning to and he sits next to me, then his fingers move across the com screen and things move and flash and generally do all sorts of stuff. Then a hologram bursts into the air in front of us. Lucan's holographic head is rotating in the air. He's smiling.
I laugh and look over to him.
"What's funny?"
I laugh again. "That fake smile on your fake head."
He ignores me and his fingers begin interacting with the hologram like they were with the com. His head flashes and then eight more heads appear.
"These are my sitting Archers. The most important of which are Rache, the Archer of Justice. And Gib, the Archer of Clutch. Together the three of us run all the worlds in the Band."
"I thought you were the one in charge?"
"I am, but I am not a dictator. I can override them if they disagree with the actions I want sanctioned, but if they gather enough support they can override me." He looks over to me. "That has never happened. We work well as a team."
His finger sweeps around the circle of Archers and then a bazillion more appear, taking up space far out into the room. "There are many Archers and each runs something that keeps our worlds together and each reports to me." He removes the other less important Archers and only he remains. His fingers make Tier appear. "I have not updated this yet. Ashur is here now. The 039 is my personal team to use as I see fit. Each of the eight higher-ranking Archers has a team for this purpose." He taps Tier's head and then the entire 039 appears, including me. We all rotate in a small circle around Tier with a rank above our heads. Ashur, then Ryse, then Braun, Isten, Rikan, Mish, Arel, and me. There's a nine floating above my head.
"Huh."
"You have a question?"
"I just think it's," I stop and choose the correct word, "interesting that you updated my status on that little chain of command, yet you left Tier in place."
He smiles but doesn't address my remark. "You report to Ashur now. And if Ashur is not around you report to me. Or Ryse or your other team members. If you need something you come to one of us. No one else is above you. You cannot command the personal teams of other Archers, but if you command any of the regular military warriors, they will accommodate you, within reason. If they do not, they will have to answer for it. You speak for me."
"That's a lot of power for someone you barely know." I look up at him and study his face.
"Tier gave you a rank of 039-9. I could undo it, but why? I don't see any reason to prohibit your rank. From what I've been told and what I've seen, duty is something you take seriously."
Every time I see Lucan his opinion of me seems to change. Which is funny, because I seem to be revising my opinion of him on a regular basis as well. Do I take my duty seriously? I have no idea to be honest.
His fingers move around once more and then the entire room is filled with avian warriors, they take up space in every direction, piled up to the ceiling, one on top of another. I look through the window and see them stretching far out past the train tracks. "This is my military."
I cannot even begin to think of the number represented by these floating faces. "How many?"
"Fifteen million active warriors. A third of which are based on the other tori below Amelia proper. But they are also spread out in the Band where they are needed. There are millions more. Inactive warriors who have moved on to something else, but are still available if necessary."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Do you have such a large military?"
"It is not necessary for you to have that answer right now, Junco, but they represent a very small percentage of our overall population. It is not that unusual. Do you have any more questions?"
"How many avians are there? In all?"
"Billions, Junco."
"Where do you keep them all?"
He smiles. "That is the central issue of these times. Where do we keep them all? The simple answer is we cannot keep them all. This is why we have Fledges. Any more questions?"
I look away. I'm not sure I like where this conversation is headed. "No, I guess not."
The military collapses back into my com and we sit there in silence for a few moments. "I'm sorry this has been hard on you." He stands up and I follow. "I am trying to make it as easy as I can."
I look up at him. "Why? You didn't even want me to stay."
"That's not true at all, Junco." He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Expect Ashur tomorrow. Goodnight."
And then he's gone.
I shake my head to clear things up, but I'm more confused than ever. I walk up the stairs slowly and then change into my bed clothes and fall asleep without speaking to anyone.
Something w
akes me. A small sound of feet on tile. I sit up and look around. Isec's bed is empty. Maybe he just went to the bathroom? Another noise out past the lounge area has my feet on the cold tile, covering the distance to the mast in my bed clothes.
I look up and see a flash, high up on the sixth level.
I hesitate because my skills are so raw, but curiosity takes over and my powerful new limbs carry me upward. It's not a snappy ascent, like Kush's was, and it's definitely not pretty or graceful. By the time I get to the fifth level I have to stop and climb up the ragged walls covered in relief art. Ultimately, I find myself swinging out under the sixth-level platform for several seconds before I force myself to let go and flap like mad just to make the landing. I lean against a large wooden door to catch my breath, and then look up. There's a symbol over it that leaves no mistake as to what is contained within.
It's a church.
I lean my weight into the door and it opens in front of me. There's a vestibule with a statue of some presumably important winged person. The door behind me closes with a shush of air and I push through the second one.
And stand there stunned. "Holy fucking shit," actually escapes my mouth as I take in the altar.
"Junco, what are you doing here?"
I whirl around and find Isec plastered up against the far wall. "I saw you."
"You scared me."
I smile at him. "Sorry."
"You're not supposed to swear at the syrinx."
I nod in the direction of the upside-down avian woman hanging on the crucifix at the far end of the church. "That her?"
He nods. "Yeah, you're not–"
"I get it, Isec, sorry. It's just – the whole image, from an Earth religious point of view is just – wrong."
He frowns at me. "Oh, how so?"
"The symbols, they're backwards. It's nothing, just cultural differences, but seeing someone hanging upside down from the crucifix just goes against the grain."
"What's that mean?"
I shake my head. "Wrong, is all."
He walks forward out of the little space filled with avian iconery and chooses a bench about halfway between front and back and takes a seat.
I slip in next to him. "So, what are you doing here?"
"Praying, Junco."
"What do you have to do to make her listen?"
He looks at me funny. "Pray, Junco."
"Oh. Well, does she have special prayers?"
"Yeah, but I'm not wasting my time teaching them to you, so don't ask me. They're printed on the cards in the back. Now leave me alone, I'm busy."
I get up and go back to the little nook he was hiding in and grab some cards, then slump down on the floor and pour through them.
Calm Ion Storms? I chuck the stiff little card at the wall next to me and move on to the next one.
Fledge Protection? Chuck it.
Fearlessness? Chuck it.
Clear Thinking? Chuck.
Acceptance of Fate? I look at the picture for a long time because it's the syrinx on the altar, then flip it over to read the prayer.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
It's a straight ripoff of Henley's Invictus. And yet so unquestionably appropriate it could have been written for me, for this very moment. I look up when Isec approaches.
"Did you find one?"
I breathe out my words. "Yeah. It's a poem from Earth, too. Isn't that weird?"
He smiles. "She sends you what you need, Junco. I'm going back to bed, you coming?"
"Nah, I'll be along in a little bit, OK?"
He nods and leaves me alone.
I get up and go sit down on a bench up front and stare at the sacrificial woman. Her left foot is bound to a vertical wooden post. The horizontal post is situated across the top of the vertical post, so it's more of a T shape than a cross. Her right leg is bent, splayed out behind her. Her arms reach back, touching her outspread wings, and her head is tipped so her eyes look down and not forward, exposing her throat. Her long red hair trails on the ground.
Syrinx.
I search my memory for a meaning and come up with two possibilities:
The voice organ of a bird.
A water nymph in ancient Greece.
I close my eyes and say the prayer out loud from recall. When I'm finished I add my own silent personal touch. Please let me accept my fate with courage. Let me be brave in the end.
My vision screen comes to life. Do you wish to accept the sacrifice?
I don't understand.
Do you wish, Junco Coot, Aves 039, to accept the sacrifice required to fulfill your prayer?
Who are you?
Is that a no?
Wait. I accept.
The screen blanks out and I have a bad feeling about what I just did. I stuff the card in the waistband of my bed shorts and leave the church, more unsettled than when I came in. I get to the ledge and realize I have to jump if I want to get down. Either that or wait until everyone wakes up and ask someone to come rescue me. I pull out the card and stare at the last part again.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
And I jump, Cygnus-style, into the pit.
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Get up now!"
Ashur's voice booms in my ears and I jump up with a start.
But he's not talking to me, he's talking to them.
Isten sits on my bed and pushes me back down. "Not you, Junco, you're with me today."
I watch as Isec is dragged up and pushed over next to the little girl. The tall girl I almost killed in the last fight is in line, as is the guy who reminds me of Tier and his friend who asked if I was a soldier.
Ashur is screaming at them from the front while Ryse, Arel, Mish, and Rikan lean in from behind to add choice words. The little kids stand there looking like they will piss themselves at any second. Ashur comes to Kush, who yawns with his eyes closed, and then pivots without saying anything and goes back to screaming at Isec and the little girl who has given up her name between sobs.
Kete.
"You are nothing! Nothing, do you understand?" He bends down to Isec and Kete and they step back with a start, but Rikan pushes them forward.
I make to get up, but Isten pushes down on my chest. "You wanted this, Junco. Now butt the fuck out."
"Isec," Ashur growls, "when you understand that your only reason for living right now is to make my nine happy, we'll get along and be just fine. Do you understand that?"
Isec, to his credit, looks up and meets his gaze. "Yes, sir."
"If you live through this Fledge and she doesn't – I'll kill you in your sleep. Do you understand?"
Isec swallows and nods.
"Your only purpose in life right now is to hope you have a chance to give up your worthless life for her promising one. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
He moves on to Kete, who breaks down and cries. "You'll be the next one to die if you don't stop that fucking crying. You think I'm your clutch mother, Kete?"
She can't answer and Ashur moves on to the tall girl.
"What's your name and excuse for being here, girl?"
She takes a large gulp of air. "Tes
sen, sir. I quit my Cluster."
Ashur scowls at her. "You quit? You're a quitter? I hate quitters. Junco's not a quitter, she talked the fucking President into making the 039 train you, you sorry excuse for a soul. If you quit on me…" He extracts his razors and they are as long as short swords. "I'll take you out to a docking bay and throw you into oblivion. Am I clear?"
Tessen nods. "Yes, sir."
He moves on to the boy who asked me if I was a soldier yesterday. He's older, not as old as Kush, but Ashur passes him by after getting his name, Joll.
The last boy is Wyrd and Ashur leans down into his face. "I don't think I like you, Wyrd. You look like you think you can take me. Can you take me, Wyrd?"
Wyrd squints his eyes. "No, sir. I don't think that at all."
Ashur paces back the other way and Kete starts to cry again. He stops in front of her, and then looks over to me and his voice is back to normal. "Junco, sorry – I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict this one will not make it."
He moves on to Isec. "I'd pick you to die as well, Isec. But since Junco always puts you first, she'll save your ass yet again."
He moves on to Kush. "You're the only one I'd take home."
He tracks back to Tessen. "You'd do if no one else was available." She looks at him and smiles, but he cuts her down. "That's not a compliment, Tessen."
He walks all the way back to Wyrd. "You come from Science?" Wyrd looks at him and nods. "We'd keep you for that and that only, then. But it's not a bad job, if you can get it."
He tracks back to Joll. "I don't see it in you, to be honest. Have you killed anyone in these fights, Joll?" Joll's eyes go wide and he shakes his head. "Well, at least you didn't lie."
Ashur walks over to my bed and rolls his eyes when the others can't see. "Is this it, then, Junco? Your team?"
I shrug. "Thank you."
He pulls me up from the bed and gives me a hug and leans down to whisper in my ear, "We're good now, right? You'll love us again if we do this?"
I push back and look up at him. "We're perfect."
Ashur looks to Ryse. "Take them up to training while I talk to Isten and Junco."