by Simmons, Pat
His mind drifted to his personal life. The fear of his boys getting hurt was the very reason Hershel didn’t date much, and when he did and things went wrong, he nipped it in the bud before Harrison and Brandon could become attached. But the attraction between him and Solae drained Hershel of all his common sense. It was something about her smile that was magnetic, yet he held back as much of himself for as long as he could.
Solae blindsided him with her charm, beauty, and genuine Christian walk. She was an unbelievable giver to those around her—friend or foe. Hershel had convinced himself that Solae not being able to have children didn’t matter. Then it did the more he gazed into her face. She made him want a beautiful little girl that looked just like her.
Trent’s smartphone chimed. He answered, “Yeah, we’re almost there,” then ended the call. He veered off of I-170 to the flyover to I-40. They would be on Oakland Avenue shortly.
Hershel was amused. If his brothers were going for some type of “wow” factor or a surprise, they would be disappointed. His birthday was in the spring. He wasn’t up for a promotion on his job and his sons were too young to get married, so there wasn’t anything that was so earth-shattering that a simple phone call couldn’t accomplished. It was a good thing he was off for another day.
When Trent pulled into the sports bar’s parking lot, Hershel saw Royce’s car. The place didn’t appear packed, judging from the number of vehicles.
Once inside, Royce popped up from a table near the windows and waved them back.
Trent led the way and when Hershel got close enough to Royce, he gave his brother a once over. “You don’t look like you’re dying.”
“Believe me, you’re killing me.” Royce didn’t explain the meaning behind the same statement Trent had said to get him there. He signaled for a server. “We’re ready to place our orders.”
“I just got here, dude.” Hershel frowned. His brothers were on the fast track of irritating him.
Royce grunted. “You like steak, so I ordered all of us six ounce rib eye steak sandwiches.” He turned to the server. “Will you add three large Cokes to that? Thanks.”
Drumming his fingers on the table, Hershel eyed Royce, then Trent. Their expressions gave away nothing. “Look, I just came off of a long four-day shift and have one more day before I begin another. So what is going on?”
His brothers exchanged glances before Royce nodded for Trent to do the honors. Folding his arms as if he was Hershel’s father instead of baby Ariel’s, Trent cleared his throat. Hershel had enough of the theatrics and was about to say so when the first sucker punch came to his stomach.
“What are you going to do about you and Solae?”
“Excuse me? Is this what this whole showboat is all about? There is no Solae and me.” Hershel snapped.
“And whose fault is that?” Trent didn’t back down as Royce shot darts his way. “Look, we’ve always been honest with each other, so it’s time you’re honest with yourself before it’s too late.”
Hershel never recalled getting such fast service as now when their food arrived before he could respond. He waited until they were alone again, then opened his mouth.
“Hold that thought,” Royce said, holding up a finger. He bowed his head and Hershel closed his eyes and did the same. “Father, in the name of Jesus, we come boldly before Your throne in thanksgiving for Your salvation, blessings, and wisdom, which my brother needs big time right now…”
Hershel popped open his eyes and squinted at Royce who was still praying.
“Lord, thank You for saving us and the women You have brought into our lives to be our helpmates…”
Hershel exhaled loudly, but Royce kept praying.
“Jesus, I thank You for giving me brothers so that we have each other, and now I ask that You please sanctify our food from all impurities and bless it for our nourishment and enjoyment. And please guide us to be a blessing to others in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
“Amen,” Hershel mumbled, allowing himself to calm down. “Okay, what is this—”
“Wait, bro. Let us get our first bite.” Trent did, chewed, and closed his eyes as if he was savoring his ingredients.
Hershel had no choice but to pick up his toasted French roll and sample it, then he wiped his mouth. “I love you two because you’re my brothers as Royce so eloquently said, but I settled for a woman before and I lived to regret it. Whether you know it or not, Trent, Solae can’t have children and I wanted more children, especially a daughter. Rita robbed me of that.”
Trent took a long sip from his soda. “Dude, children are not only a gift from God, but they’re a loan. They grow up and go away.”
“Whether God gives me a long or brief life, I want to spend it with Mrs. Candace Kavanaugh. Trent’s right. Lindsay and any children we have are on loan…but Candace,” Royce paused and looked away, “it’s ‘til death do we part, so I’m enjoying my life with her until God parts us.”
As if they were a tag team, Trent picked up the dialogue, “I’m not a preacher, but I’m wondering if God allowed Rita to come into your life to give you my nephews. Once her job was done, she walked out, so Solae could walk in to complete your happiness.”
Royce choked. “That was bad, T. Don’t put God’s stamp of approval on that. Rita was wrong—period.”
“Okay, bad example. Hey, work with me. I’m building up to the climax of the story.”
“I’m getting bored and tired. I want to get my boys and go home. Solae and I haven’t seen each other in weeks.”
“Try two months,” Royce corrected. “My wife is keeping track.” He scowled.
“So, why are we talking about her now?”
Trent and Royce exchanged another one of their looks before facing him.
“She’s leaving,” Royce said.
“Moving to Chicago,” Trent added. Both waited for his reaction.
Hershel’s appetite was zapped. His sandwich became tasteless and he was speechless.
“This is the moment of truth, bro.” Royce lowered his voice, “If you really love her, you better convince her so I can have peace in my home. Candace is beside herself.”
Pulling out his wallet, Hershel pulled out two twenties and slapped them on the table. “I got this.”
“What about Solae?” Trent looked dumbfounded.
“I got that, too.” He stood. “Let’s go.”
Chapter 9
As Solae sat in the pew next to Desiree, waiting for Bible Class to start, she was surprised when her friend pointed out a certain man in attendance.
“That’s Michael over there, looking pitiful,” Desiree whispered with a shaky voice.
Following the direction of Desiree’s manicured finger, Solae spied the back of a nicely built guy’s head. What kind of man was he to propose, only to cheat?
As if Michael knew he was being talked about, he glanced over his shoulder. Searching the crowd, he seemed to make eye contact with Desiree.
Solae gave him points for being handsome, not as fine as Hershel, but definitely handsome enough for another woman to want to get her claws in him. Hussy—her grandmother would say.
It was evident that Michael’s presence, albeit on the other side of church, made Desiree uncomfortable.
Desiree had Solae’s allegiance of friendship, but Solae kept many of her opinions to herself. She and Candace never held back their viewpoints from one another—maybe that was the benefit of being childhood friends. The rapport with Desiree was mainly that of a prayer partner and a sounding board.
Solae studied the emotions that played on her friend’s face, and she had her own questions, like why is Michael here? Was he repenting? Did you know he was coming? Did you two set up a consultation with the pastor? Basically, what was the latest on their separation status?
One thing’s for sure. Desiree hadn’t quite figured out how she would proceed if her estranged husband was truly remorseful. “But to forgive him would suggest our marriage meant nothing to him…my love wasn’t
worth keeping,” she had confided in Solae once before meeting with him.
And Solae had listened. Who was she to tell Desiree to hold onto her anger as long as she didn’t sin like the Bible said, or kiss and make up, forgiving seven times seventy as the Bible also said. She was a recovering Hershel-holic.
Solae felt sorry for both of them. She squeezed Desiree’s hand. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll get there….Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Desiree’s eyes watered as she cleared her throat. Her pain had to be unbearable.
Jesus, please help her to get through this, Solae prayed.
Pastor Reed walked into the sanctuary, carrying his Bible and a notepad. He rested them on a small table, more like a portable desk, in front of the pulpit and adjusted the microphone. “Good evening, everyone, and praise the Lord, saints of God. Shall we stand for prayer?”
Most of the audience got to their feet and bowed their heads as pastor began: “Lord Jesus, we come boldly before Your throne of grace where Your mercy is plentiful. We need You today in our lives. We know Your Word is not politically correct. Your truth will hurt our feelings, shame our lifestyle, and call it as You see it. We thank You for Your forgiveness and blessings without batting an eye…God, You called us out of a world of darkness; help us tonight to follow Your light as we study Your word in Jesus’ name. Amen. You may take your seats.”
Solae loved to listen to others pray and was a bit disappointed when he concluded. It had such a soothing effect on her spirit. Even Desiree appeared to be more in control as she whipped out her note pad; others pulled out their iPads. Solae actually preferred to jot down the highlights in her Bible’s margin.
Pastor Reed scanned the auditorium before opening his Bible. “I want us to continue our study of what it takes to live righteously in a wicked world. Let’s go back to Ephesians six. As previously discussed, there’s only one way to dress for God. Just a reminder, this is not about the outer garment. The Bible instructs women to dress modestly, and let me add men, too. I’ll let your own Holy Ghost convict and guide you on that one.”
Some chuckled, a few “Amens” circulated among them, and Solae heard one or two claps.
“Jesus is concerned about your spiritual dress. A shield of faith is part of your gear, but have you thought about its purpose? Remember those Galactic shows where the soldiers are advancing toward their enemies and using their shields with great force to push them out of their path? A shield can save your life if you know how to maneuver it. It’s not meant to stay at one position, but to be flexible and to move quickly whenever necessary.”
Solae broke her concentration to glance at Desiree who seemed to be half-listening and diverting her eyes to where her husband was sitting. Jesus, please mend her hurting heart.
“Saints, pay attention to this,” Pastor Reed said, causing Solae to sit up straighter. “Your shield of faith is equipped to guard your mind, body, and soul. For example, say the devil aims a dart of cancer at your body; block it with the shield of faith to stand on whatever Word God has given you about your condition. The enemy sneaks up behind you to seduce you. Turn around and resist him with your shield…”
Pastor gave more illustrations, and then moved on to the helmet of salvation. “It’s not manmade. It’s sturdy with invisible strength to take the hits. To walk with Jesus, you’ll take hits from scoffers, those committing immoral acts, which include anything from infidelity to homosexuality, backsliders, and the list goes on. Their job is to remove your helmet and injure your mind where you will begin to believe good is evil and evil acts are “okay” or good. Wrap your mind around God’s Word. That is your helmet...”
Too soon, he opened the floor up for questions. Checking the time, Solae hadn’t realized forty-five minutes had sped by so quickly. Her pastor was a man of God who could break down the Word of God. No doubt when she relocated to Chicago, he would be another wonderful memory she would miss.
She had sought God’s direction on the move, but the Lord had been silent. Solae took that to mean proceed with caution. Life was about advancing to the next level. It was time. She had no husband or children to keep her there. Her parents were alive and well. Candace and Lindsay were in good hands. Hershel…he would go down in her history book as the first man she truly loved and the only one to break her heart. She had bounced back after the other two losers’ rejections. However, Solae didn’t see a Hershel-recovery in sight.
As Pastor Reed made the call for salvation, two repenting souls walked to the altar. After the ministers prayed for them, both requested the baptism in Jesus’ name. Another twenty minutes later, the offering was taken and the benediction given.
Usually after the class, Desiree would be upbeat and would talk Solae into grabbing a sandwich or something before going home.
“Are you going to be okay?” Solae asked her friend who appeared to be distracted while purposely ignoring her estranged husband. Solae glanced in Michael’s direction. He was standing rooted in his spot across the sanctuary as if he was waiting for Desiree’s signal that it was okay to approach her.
Lord, is marriage really worth all this hurt? Seeing this ugly side of it, Solae was beginning to see the blessedness of singlehood.
Marriage is honorable in ALL! God’s voice seemed to come swiftly out of nowhere, stating Hebrews 13:4.
Although Solae trembled, she asked for understanding. But God, her marriage bed was defiled.
Whoremongers and adulterers, I will judge, God’s voice began to fade.
Desiree shrugged and exhaled. “As long as the prayers of the saints continue,” then she shook her head, “I can’t look at him without imagining…I can’t talk to him right now without thinking about… I just can’t do it. It hurts too bad.”
“It’s going to be okay. God knows and He cares.” Solae wrapped an arm over Desiree’s shoulder and steered her out the church to the parking lot, all the while praying, Lord, please don’t let Michael make a scene; let him respect her time of healing in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Solae waited as Desiree got in her car and started the ignition. She still looked frazzled. “Call me when you get home and let me know you made it.”
“I will. Love you, my friend.” Desiree slowly backed out of her parking space, then drove away.
“Love you, too,” Solae mouthed as a tear fell from her eye. Crossing the aisle, she waved at a few church members, then got into her car. She locked her doors and put her key into the ignition, but didn’t start the motor as the tears flowed. She sat and cried for her friend, wondering if Desiree and Michael would ever have a happy ending. Then she recalled a portion of Psalm 37:25: “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread.”
“Lord, for Desiree’s sake and mine, I’m holding you to that.” The confidence Solae had in God made her smile. Starting her car, she backed up and drove home, seemingly without a care in the world.
Chapter 10
I know you are going to be at Lindsay’s birthday party. Can we talk? Hershel texted Solae a few days later after digesting and accepting the news Royce and Trent had delivered. Since then, Hershel had done some serious soul searching.
He acknowledged that a well-respected fire captain who was fearless when it came to rescuing others in a life-or-death situation couldn’t get out of the scorching flames of the past to move on to the future.
A woman like Solae had no shortage of male admirers with her wit and beauty, so she didn’t have to give him the time of day since he let her walk away months ago.
Her swift response jumpstarted his heart to a pounding beat.Sure.
Hershel would have preferred a more personal message, but that one word was encouragement enough as he counted down to his new niece’s birthday party.
Between sleep, work, and his boys, Hershel’s time was short as he entered Lordo’s Diamonds in Ladue. Jim, the owner, welcomed him back with much fanfare.
“Captain Kavanaugh, g
ood to see you again. Wanting to add another piece to your collection?”
“Yes.” Hershel exhaled. “The ring.” He had eyed the white-gold engagement ring since December and every time he thought he was ready, another piece of jewelry strayed him from his purpose—but not this time.
He blamed himself for not proposing sooner. God knew he loved her and he knew Solae loved him and the boys. It was his hang ups that got in the way.
Jim unlocked the glass case that held the uniquely twisted-shaped ring that reminded him of a basketball player safeguarding the ball as if he was cradling it with both arms. “This beauty is a fourteen carat, white-gold engagement ring embellished with thirty-six stones...”
Hershel politely listened but already knew the design details. He had seen others more or less expensive, but he did a double take with this piece. “When can I pick it up?”
The owner told him later in the week. Thanking Jim, Hershel headed home to get some rest. Despite his exhaustion, he had trouble sleeping, knowing that Solae could have been his a long time ago.
In the beginning, while Royce and Candace were deciding if they were going to go out, he had already taken Solae on three incredible dates where it seemed that they had always been together.
At home, before his head hit the pillow, Hershel ordered flowers to be delivered to her job and prayed, “Lord, I never wanted to hurt her. Please let Solae forgive me in Jesus’ name. Amen.” Moments later, he rolled over and heard himself snore as he drifted off. He didn’t wake again until the sun shined the next morning.
Not wanting to chance oversleeping on the day of the party, Hershel had taken off work that day and the day before. Well rested, he arrived early to his cousin’s ranch and nervously waited. Almost a year earlier, he had been the one hosting a birthday party for Brandon at the ranch because Terrence had horses and a couple of ponies. Always a big hit with children.
