First published in Great Britain in 2011 by Simon and Schuster UK Ltd, a CBS company.
Text copyright © 2011 Tamsyn Murray
Cover and interior illustrations copyright © 2011 Lee Wildish
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
No reproduction without permission.
All rights reserved.
The right of Tamsyn Murray and Lee Wildish to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act, 1988.
Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
1st Floor, 222 Gray’s Inn Road, London WC1X 8HB
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
978-1-84738-729-5
eBook ISBN: 978-1-84738-830-8
Printed and bound in Great Britain.
www.simonandschuster.co.uk
www.tamsynmurray.co.uk
For Taz, my oldest four-legged friend.
Purr on, baby!
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Let me introduce myself. I’m Harriet Houdini – Stunt Bunny extraordinaire and all-round superstar. Once upon a time, I was an ordinary little rabbit in an ordinary little pet shop, but then eight-year-old Susie Wilson took me home and my life changed for ever. Before I knew it, I’d scooped first prize in the Superpets Search for a Superstar TV talent show and triple backflipped my way into the nation’s hearts. Suddenly, I was a VIP – Very Important Pet – and everyone knew my name.
Of course, you might think that being the star of Saturday night television means I’m one of those snobby celebs who owns a big mansion with twenty-four-hour security guards, but you’d be wrong. I live with the Wilson family, in a normal-sized house on a perfectly everyday street. OK, so maybe my hutch is a teensy bit posh, but I am Britain’s Best Loved Bunny, after all.
But when our new next-door neighbour moved in, our street became a little bit less ordinary. From the moment the mysterious Madame Belladonna arrived and fired a toothy smile my way, I had a peculiar, can’t-quite-put-your-finger-on-it suspicion that there was something fishy about her. You might think I’m being twitchy, but after two bunny-napping attempts by a mad magician called the Great Maldini, a girl can’t be too careful. He’d been after me ever since I won the village pet show and started on my rollercoaster ride to fame, but I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my days popping in and out of an old top hat in his rubbishy magic show. Luckily my Stunt Bunny skills had helped me escape his clutches both times.
But, even though I know I can be a bit suspicious, I still had a very funny feeling when our new neighbour arrived. I was sipping on a carrot smoothie while Susie read me some fan mail when I noticed a battered blue-and-green van pull up at the empty house next door. Susie had heard the noise too, so she lifted me up and carried me to the window so we could take a closer look.
‘It looks like someone is moving in next door, Harriet,’ she said, peering through the net curtains. ‘I wonder if they’ve got any pets?’
‘Huh,’ said Susie’s dad as he came into the room. ‘I hope not. One rabbit on the rampage is enough.’
Susie’s dad is the grumpiest person I’ve ever met. I call him Evil Edward, or EE for short. He doesn’t like me much and acts as though I’m always up to no good – even when I’m mostly behaving myself. He’s especially suspicious where his precious garden is concerned, but it’s his own fault really; if he didn’t grow the most delicious roses, I wouldn’t need to nibble them.
Susie’s mum and little sister, Lily, crowded around the window too, while the family cat, Smudge, jumped on to the window sill to see what all the fuss was about. We all watched as the new neighbour got out of the van.
‘Oh, it’s an old lady,’ Susie said, sounding a little bit disappointed.
‘What an odd-looking person,’ Mrs Wilson said, peering at the new neighbour uncertainly. ‘Is that a beekeeper’s hat she’s wearing?’
Sure enough, the old lady was wearing a big, broad-brimmed hat with a thick veil all the way around it. The rest of her appearance was just as strange: her dress was purple and flowery and didn’t quite fit her thin body, and sticking out of her pointy, high-heeled shoes was a pair of skinny, hairy legs. She was carrying a gigantic, empty birdcage. Smudge licked his lips and his tail began to swish from side to side.
‘Gosh,’ EE said as the lady tottered past our window towards the path to her front door. ‘I hope she doesn’t have a parrot to live in that cage. I don’t want to hear it screeching “Pretty Polly” at all hours of the day and night.’
Lily took her dolly out of her mouth. ‘Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly,’ she squawked.
‘Me and my big mouth,’ EE sighed, folding his arms. ‘I suppose we’d better go and say hello.’ Then he looked down at me, a stern look on his face. ‘Leave that rabbit in here, Susie, we don’t want to scare the poor woman away.’
Huh, what on earth was he going on about? If anyone was going to put our new neighbour off, it was him!
Susie frowned. ‘Harriet wants to say hello too.’
EE made a tutting sound. ‘Oh, all right, but make sure she can’t escape.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be on her best behaviour,’ Susie said, clipping me into my sparkly silver harness and lead. Then we opened the front door to greet the new arrival.
“‘Hello,’ EE called out. ‘Welcome to the neighbourhood. We’re the Wilsons.’ The old lady didn’t stop, but waved a woolly-gloved hand and carried on wobbling her way along the path.
‘Do let us know if you need anything,’ Mrs Wilson added, her big, friendly smile fading a little.
The woman reached her front door. ‘’Ow lovely to meet you, my dears,’ she said in a squeaky, accented voice. ‘My name ees Madame Belladonna. I am sure we will be – ’ow you say – ze best bunnies.’
‘I think you mean best buddies,’ EE corrected with a chuckle.
The veiled hat nodded up and down. ‘Zat ees what I say.’ Balancing the birdcage on one hand, she opened her front door and turned around to stare at me. ‘She ees ze cutest leetle rabbit, no? I look forward to getting to know er much better.’
The door closed, leaving the Wilsons staring at each other and me frowning suspiciously. There was something weird about Madame Belladonna and I didn’t just mean her clothes. I wasn’t sure I wanted to get to know her at all.
‘Well, she seemed . . . nice,’ Mrs Wilson said as we trooped back into our own house.
‘Hmmm,’ EE said. ‘She’s a few bees short of a hive if you ask me.’
I could hardly concentrate on my fan mail after that. Something about our new neighbour bothered me, but I couldn’t work out what it was. One thing I did know: I’d be keeping a very close eye on Madame Belladonna. She looked like a crazy customer.
I try hard to be a friendly rabbit – a real you-tickle-my-tummy-and-I’ll-tickle-yours type. So when the director of Superpets, glamorous Gloria Goodwood, announced that there was going to be a new pet joining our one-off, Summer Special show, my ears pricked up straight away. People kept all kinds of unusual animals. The new addition might be a jellyfish who juggled or a piano-playing pig. But whether they were c
uddly or clammy, I really hoped we’d get along.
And, even better, Gloria told us that some of the pets who had been on the Superpets Live tour were now going to join the main cast of Superpets too. So not only might I make a new friend, I’d also be seeing my old ones too!
To be honest, though, I was a bit disappointed when I first saw the new pet. Tornado Taz looked like an ordinary, everyday cat, the kind you might see eying up the birds in next-door’s garden. But his tabby stripes hid a terrific talent, as I found out when I hopped over to say hello.
‘He might not look much now,’ Taz’s owner, Tim, was saying to the make-up lady, ‘but wait until he gets on to the obstacle course. You won’t see him for dust.’
‘Obstacle course?’ said the make-up lady, gazing down at the cat in confusion. ‘You mean jumps and tunnels and weaving in and out of poles? Like dogs do?’
Tim pushed his glasses up and beamed with pride. ‘Exactly right. Taz is the world’s first agility cat!’
I stared at Taz, who was perched on the make-up chair. He threw me an embarrassed look which said, ‘Owners – don’t you just love ’em?’
Then Gloria appeared. ‘It’s time for your screen test, Taz. Let’s see if the camera loves you the way it loves Harriet here.’
She led Taz and his owner across the studio floor to a series of obstacles. Susie and I followed, settling down next to the cameraman to watch. This was going to be interesting.
I wasn’t the only one who wanted to see what Taz was made of. I spotted Lulu the chimpanzee lowering her hula hoop and Spike-tacular, the hedgehog dance troupe, piling on top of each other for a better view. Everyone held their breath as Taz padded up to the start line and crouched down, his tail sticking straight out behind him and his ears laid flat against his head.
Gloria held up her hand. ‘On your marks . . . get set . . . go!’
Before you could say ‘super speedy’, Taz was off, streaking towards the first jump so fast that his stripes became just a blur. He cleared the sticks with ease and shot like a bullet through a long, black cloth tunnel. Then he was weaving in and out of a set of tall red-and-white poles and over another jump, before zooming up a thin plank of wood to a balancing bar high above the ground.
Next to me, Cherry the counting kitten lost track of the number of obstacles and covered her eyes with her paws. Even Spike-tacular, who do some pretty acrobatic dance moves, looked nervous. But Taz was a cool cat. He was across the bar and down the other side without even a hint of a wobble. As he raced over the finish line, Gloria clicked the stopwatch in her hand and smiled.
‘Less than one minute,’ she said to Tim. ‘I can see why you call him Tornado Taz. Our viewers are going to love him!’
‘I don’t call that much of a talent,’ a voice behind me drawled. I didn’t need to turn around to know it belonged to Miranda, the snooty owner of Doodle the opera-singing Poodle. The only bad thing about the Superpets Live pets joining the cast was that Miranda and Doodle were now on the show too. We’d been enemies ever since I won Superpets Search for a Superstar instead of Doodle and the two of them were always on the lookout for ways to cause me trouble. They’d sunk to new dastardly lows while we were on tour and I suspected they’d even been in cahoots with the Great Maldini, but I’d outsmarted them all. Today, though, their attention was fixed on Taz.
‘Surely any animal could jump over a few sticks and run along a pole,’ Miranda went on, looking down her nose at Gloria fussing over Tim and Taz. ‘It’s nowhere near as difficult as singing.’
Sam, the nine-year-old owner of Spike-tacular, sniggered. ‘If you call what Doodle does singing.’
Miranda scowled at him. ‘Opera is very hard to perform, I’ll have you know. Doodle is the most talented pet this show has ever seen.’
Gloria came towards us. ‘It’s funny you should say that, Miranda. I don’t want any one-trick ponies on my show so I’ve decided that, apart from Taz, each pet has to learn a new talent, which they’ll perform on the live Summer Special. With all the new animals joining the show we need to have a real shake-up. So anyone who doesn’t knock my socks off . . .’ She paused and looked around at us gravely. ‘Well, let’s just say they won’t be part of the Superpets crew.’
Everyone looked suddenly nervous. Cherry stopped counting the number of pets crowded around Gloria. Spike-tacular froze mid-pyramid and I saw Trevor and his tumbling terrapins gulp anxiously.
‘I’ll be watching you all very closely over the next few weeks,’ Gloria went on. ‘I do hope none of you will be leaving Superpets.’
With one final glance around, she disappeared around the back of the camera. As the other animals and their owners wandered away, Susie reached down to give my grey fur a soothing rub. ‘Don’t worry, Harriet,’ she whispered in an uncertain voice. ‘I’m sure you’ll be OK.’
EE appeared next to us, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. ‘Do you know, they have the most marvellous cakes in the studio canteen?’ He patted his tummy in satisfaction. ‘I could have stayed there all afternoon.’
Then he noticed Susie’s worried face. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Gloria just announced that all the pets have to find a new talent,’ Susie said, her bottom lip wobbling like jelly. ‘Or they’ll have to leave Superpets.’
EE frowned. ‘If anyone has to go, it should be that silly poodle and her owner. She could sour milk with that voice and that doesn’t count as a talent.’
Susie’s blue eyes swam with tears. ‘But what if it’s Harriet? She’s only ever done bunny backflips. What if that’s all she can do?’
EE put his arm around her. ‘Don’t tell anyone I said this, but Harriet’s got star quality. I’m sure she’ll come up with something fresh to impress Gloria.’
Any other time, I would have been amazed to hear EE say something nice about me, but I was distracted by Miranda and Doodle huddling together in a corner. Miranda whispered into the poodle’s ear and then they both looked over at me and grinned unpleasantly. My whiskers twitched with anxiety. They were plotting one of their evil tricks, or my name wasn’t Harriet Houdini. Watching them, I came to a fast decision; I’d show them exactly what a show-stopping performance was made of. And this time, there’d be no more Miss Nice Bunny.
Our neighbours at number fifty-three were Mr and Mrs Green and their son, George. For as long as I could remember, George had been on the lookout for the perfect pet. He’d tried several, including a goldfish who’d accidentally been flushed down the loo, a hamster who sneaked into his rucksack and got lost at school, and a budgie which had flown out of an open window when Mrs Green was cleaning out its cage.
So, when Susie told me that George had bought a pair of guinea pigs, Salt and Pepper, I was curious to see how long they would stick around. Then the Greens went on holiday and the guinea pigs moved into our garden for a couple of weeks. Suddenly, the chances of an escape attempt went through the roof. For one thing Susie’s little sister loved anything furry and there was no way she’d be able to resist the guinea pigs. Once she’d smuggled them up to her bedroom to play with her dollies, they’d be goners for sure. And if Lily didn’t get them, Smudge would. I’d already spotted him sitting on top of their cage, staring downwards in a hungry way.
Ever since Gloria had told us the least-talented animals would be leaving Superpets, I’d been thinking like crazy about my new trick and had tried backflipping on to anything bouncy I found lying about in the garden. My favourite was Susie’s red-and-yellow striped beach-ball. I wasn’t so keen on EE’s deckchair, especially after I’d accidentally boinged off his tummy when I’d forgotten he was there. I kept up the hard work, though. I wasn’t ready to give up my position as Britain’s Number One Bunny, no matter what Doodle and Miranda had planned.
But Salt and Pepper weren’t exactly quiet guests. EE had put their cage facing mine and every time I practised a bounce, the two of them let out a chattering ‘meep’ noise that sounded like they were giggling their heads off. It drove
me mad and I wasn’t the only person they were getting to.
‘What is that noise?’ EE said, one Sunday afternoon when Susie was sitting in the garden watching me hop around the flowerbeds. He lifted the newspaper from over his face and glared around. ‘Can’t a man rest his eyes in the sunshine without a racket breaking out?’
Of course, Salt and Pepper thought this was hilarious as well and their giggling got louder.
EE scowled. ‘Shut them up, please,’ he groaned at Mrs Wilson. ‘I’m trying to read the paper.’
She carried on hanging out the washing. ‘Mrs Green did say they were quite high-spirited,’ she said. ‘I’m sure they’ll settle down in a minute.’
I was just hopping nearer to the rose bushes, wondering if I could use the distraction to chomp a petal or two, when I caught a movement in Madame Belladonna’s garden. Looking over, I blinked. Hovering above the top of the fence was a gigantic pink pom-pom. Smudge spotted it too. He watched it for a moment and then leaped up on to the fence and sank his claws into the pom-pom.
There was a high-pitched yelp and Smudge let go. He jumped down from the fence and hid behind EE’s leg, hissing. On the other side of the fence, Madame Belladonna shot upwards. We all stared. Even though it was a warm and sunny afternoon, Madame Belladonna had a yellow scarf wrapped around her neck right up to her nose and she was wearing a pair of swimming goggles. The pink pom-pom that Smudge had attacked was attached to a woolly, lime-green hat.
‘Lost something, Madame Belladonna?’ EE called.
‘Signor Wilson, you give me ze frights,’ she said, in her funny voice. ‘’Ere I am, looking for . . . ze chicken eggs and zat pussy cat attacks me like I was ze mouse.’
EE looked puzzled. ‘I didn’t know you had chickens over there?’
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