by Judi Lynn
“You know, I have a friend who tried and tried to have babies, but she and her husband couldn’t, so they decided to adopt. Now, they have two beautiful kids that they’re crazy about.”
His fingers drummed faster. “I could love kids who weren’t my own, but if I had a choice . . .”
She nodded. “Tessa’s brother and his wife don’t want kids, and they’re perfectly happy. They fill their lives with other things.”
“I suppose.” He didn’t sound convinced. He asked again, “You don’t think a time will come when you’ll regret you didn’t have a baby?”
“If a kid’s lucky, my eggs will dry up and die. I have a potty mouth and not all that much patience.”
“Kids can live with that. Do you know how many would pay money to have you for a mom?”
“If they’re smart, no one.”
He gave her a sideways glance. “Well, you’re wrong. You don’t realize what a great person you are. That’s why you push people away, but you don’t need to.”
What the hell was he talking about? “I don’t push people away. I have lots of friends.”
“But no one’s allowed to get too close.”
“That’s not because I underrate myself. It’s because friends are less stress.” On the defensive, she said, “I’m not cut out for family life.”
He sighed. “Maybe I’m not either. Maybe that’s what the Universe is telling me.”
“Bull crap! You’re the most wonderful man I’ve met.”
Shit! Shit. Shit. Did she just say that? Out loud? But he needed to hear it and believe it. “I mean, you’re going to make some woman super happy.” Any woman with a brain and a libido. “You just have to go out there and make it happen.”
Brody’s fingers quit drumming. He gripped the wheel. “You’re right. I need to go after what I want.” He gave her a look that sizzled.
Harmony shrank closer to the passenger door. That look felt like an assault. She played back their conversation and fretted. She’d only meant to encourage him. How could that go wrong?
Brody slowed to make the turn into Ian and Tessa’s driveway. Ian had cleared it, but its banks were almost as high as the road’s. Harmony felt like they were driving through wintry tunnels. She looked forward to seeing Tessa, though. She yearned for small talk and laughter right now. Brody sighed when he cut the car’s engine. “Thank God, we’re here. I need a distraction. How about you?”
Poor him, she’d infected him with her mood. She needed a glass of wine. Maybe the entire bottle. “My brain feels like a hamster wheel, spinning and spinning. Company sounds great.”
His eyebrow rose. “What were you writing today?”
A blush stained her cheeks. She could feel it. “A battle scene.” She wasn’t above a small lie.
He grinned. “On the field or under the sheets?” Damn, he read her too well. “I can’t wait to buy your book.”
She’d never considered that. Would he recognize himself as Luxar? She shrugged. “It takes at least a year before a book goes from manuscript to a book shelf. You’ll have a long wait.”
His smile grew wider. “I’m good at waiting . . . most of the time.”
Panic fluttered in her stomach, but then she realized he’d meet someone by then. Somebody beautiful and sophisticated, but warm and funny, too. Someone perfect for him. Her book would be the last thing on his mind. This time, she could return that smug smile. “Whatever, but I don’t think paranormal romance is going to do it for you.”
He reached across the seat to open her door for her. “This one might.”
Yeah, right. In a year, he’d be humping someone to make babies. That thought didn’t thrill her. What the hell was wrong with her lately? She’d never been this up and down before.
She got out and lifted one of the cardboard boxes loaded with food. Brody went to get the other one. As they carried them to the house, she bumped her shoulder against him playfully. “In a year, everything’s going to look different.”
“For both of us.”
Ian came out to greet them, but Harmony frowned up at Brody. What did he mean by that? Before she could ask, Tessa stepped out of the house’s front door, and Ian reached to take Harmony’s load. Then everyone started talking, and the moment was gone.
Chapter 19
The evening sped by before Harmony realized it. Tessa’s coloring had improved. “I can keep down food, now that I don’t cook it.” She patted her still flat stomach. “I’ll probably be fat before I know it.”
“Not fat.” Ian’s gaze shifted to his wife’s midsection, and he smiled. “You’ll look even prettier with a baby bump.”
They were so happy thinking about a baby, Harmony couldn’t imagine what they’d be like once they actually had one. “You two are going to be push-overs for a while. Talk about a spoiled kid.”
Ian shook his head in denial. “That feeling goes away really fast when the kid keeps you awake, night after night. Then you switch to survival mode.”
Tessa reached for the last molasses cookie. Her appetite had definitely increased lately. “I remember when Darinda had her boys. She was dragging.”
Outside the kitchen windows, Brody pointed at giant, white flakes that had begun to fall. “It’s snowing again. We’d better drive back before the roads get worse.”
He and Harmony didn’t talk on the way to the lodge, and she was grateful. She’d wrestled with enough difficult conversations for one day. The evening with Ian and Tessa had been pleasant, and she wanted to hug that feeling to her. He left her off at the door, as always, and after he parked, she watched him carefully cross the lot to the lodge. The pavement was slippery again.
He shook off snow when he entered the foyer. “I know it’s January, but the weather isn’t usually this bad.”
“We’re going to be lucky if we’re not snowbound tomorrow.” The flakes were flying harder and faster.
He grinned. “When we were kids, Ian and I always stayed up late, watching trashy, old horror movies when we thought school would be canceled the next day.”
“And if it wasn’t?” she asked.
“Mom had a hard time getting us up.” He smiled, remembering.
“Want to look for some old, trashy movie tonight instead of French Kiss?” she asked him.
His gray eyes sparkled. “Are you up for it?”
“No blood and gore, not something like the Chainsaw Massacres.”
He shrugged. “We’ll look for something classy, like one of the Scream movies.”
She laughed and started to the kitchen. “Popcorn?”
“Pajamas first, you can’t watch trashy horror without PJs.”
“If we’re staying up late, I’m washing my face, too. You’ll have to look at me with no makeup.”
“That could be scary, but I’ll brave it. Meet you back here in a few.”
When she came back down, he was already in the kitchen. She could smell popcorn popping, so she wandered in to help him. He’d poured her a glass of wine and had a cold beer on the tray for him. When he noticed her, he stopped to study her.
“You don’t need makeup. You’re pretty, as is.”
“You need to get out more. Anything female is beginning to look good to you.”
He laughed. “Come on. We’re ready.” He heaved up the tray and started to the library. She carried her wine and followed him.
They flipped through channels before they found an old classic—Seven—with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. The seven deadly sins, and their punishments, were enough to set a creepy mood. Then Brody found The Shining, and you’d have thought he hit the jackpot. “One of my favorites!” he told her. Jack Nicholson doing crazy pushed creepy to its limits. Harmony’s eyes were getting heavy when he found The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. The movie was scary enough, but Harmony couldn’t help it. She fell asleep.
She half woke as he carried her upstairs to her room. He turned down the covers and gently laid her in her bed. She remembered smiling up at him, a
nd then he bent and his lips claimed hers. Damn, the man felt good. She reached her arms around his neck and made the kiss last. But then he pulled away, touched her cheek, and left.
Her dream started with a warm, fuzzy feeling.
She strode through a meadow filled with blooming wildflowers. A beautiful, white building with columns and green shutters sat on a knoll in the distance, and she walked toward it. When she stepped inside, the bright sunshine disappeared. A forbidding gloom filled its shadowy spaces. There was a mystery she must solve here, she knew. A spiral staircase led to the second floor, and she climbed it, calling to see if anyone was home. On the second floor landing, red smears covered the flowered wallpaper. REDRUM. Chills shivered up and down her spine, but she started down a long, narrow, white tunnel to a room at its end. The temperature dropped the farther she walked.
When she reached the double doors, she pushed on them, and they swung open to a huge nursery. Every cradle held a crying baby. She ran to the first and bent to pick it up to comfort it, and Cecily’s face—the way she imagined Brody’s ex—stared back at her. She recoiled and went to the next cradle, then the next, and the one after that. Every cradle held an infant that looked like Cecily. This was where Brody’s ex and her old, rich husband deposited their many offspring. A baby, wrapped in tapes like a mummy, cried to her, “Only the first son is allowed to live with Mommy.” Then every baby jumped out of their cradles, grabbed gleaming butcher knives, and chased her out of the room and down the hallway.
She woke when she tugged on the front door and it wouldn’t open. Her eyes did.
She lay in bed, her heart thumping, and vowed never to watch three horror movies, back to back, ever again. She finally left the comfort of her blankets and walked to the window. It had quit snowing. No canceled schools today. She thought of Brody and smiled. He’d have to wake up to his alarm clock. For that matter, she should, too. She was reaching the last fourth of her book. No muse fairies would write her next scene in the morning. The half-moon winked at her. It turned the blanket of snow bone-white. She shook her head. Her vampires were all snug in their fortresses for the moment. No battles tonight.
She returned to bed and slept solidly until her phone alarm woke her. Stretching and rubbing her eyes, she pushed out of bed. This had the potential of being a long day. She was probably going to drag herself through most of it.
She was drinking her third cup of coffee when someone knocked on the door, and Brody poked his head in the room. “Toast and jam?”
She looked at him. He looked tired. “We shouldn’t have stayed up quite so late.”
He put the plate on the side of the desk and studied her. “For me, it was worth it.”
She smiled. “Me, too.”
His gaze lingered on her lips. “The kiss was nice.”
She felt herself blush, but she nodded.
He bent and grazed her lips again. “Yup, you’re definitely worth kissing.” He started for the door.
“You’re turning into a tease, but we both have work to do.”
He paused. “I’ve never been called a tease before. If you’d like, I could stay and follow through.”
Would she! But that wasn’t smart. If she had him today, she’d want him tomorrow, and the day after that. “Oh, brother! Have one great tumble with a guy and he wants more. Get out of here. I’m busy.”
He chuckled and left, but Harmony’s hormones went into overdrive. Her gaze strayed to the unmade bed and thoughts of Brody flooded her mind. She could have him. Right there, in between her sheets. Why hadn’t she wrapped her legs around his middle, knocked him flat on the mattress, and had her way with him? Because she was one big chickenshit, that’s why. Brody came with an emotional attachment, and she wasn’t brave enough to see where that led.
For good reason, she told herself. Emotional attachments made you vulnerable. And she’d promised herself she’d never be vulnerable again. She bit into a piece of toast. Calm down, girl. Just thinking about Brody got her all hot and bothered. But Serifina would have a happy-ever-after. She wouldn’t. She’d finish her book and go home to her little apartment. And life would go on as always. That’s what she wanted. Right? When there was no resounding yes, she frowned at her laptop. Someone was going to die today, she could tell. Someone would walk onto the battlefield and wouldn’t walk off it. A nice, dramatic death scene would make her feel better.
But that damned, gorgeous, female vampire proved more resilient than Harmony realized. By lunchtime, Harmony still hadn’t found a way to kill her off. The character just didn’t want to die. Harmony stalked downstairs and plopped on a chair opposite Paula.
Paula stared at her. “The writing’s not going well?”
“It’s flying off my fingers.” Harmony drooled at the stromboli Paula had made. “But the characters aren’t doing what I want them to.”
Ian shook his head. “Tessa’s having trouble controlling her protagonist, too. You were right. There’s going to be more sparks in this book.”
Harmony gave a knowing nod. “Real life creeps into your stories.”
“What’s happening with yours?” Paula asked.
Brody leaned forward, all interest. “What are your characters up to?”
Harmony tossed him a sour look. “There are more subplots than usual. I think this book is going to have more layers than my other books, but it makes it a little more challenging to write.”
Brody shook his head in sympathy. “Too many struggles. Your books always mix romance and battles, right?” He locked gazes with her. “Maybe the heroine should give in to the hot guy so that she can concentrate on defeating the villain.”
Smart-ass. What did he know about romance novels? “That’s not the way it works,” she told him. “The hero and heroine never get together until the end of the book, and then we fade to happy-ever-after.”
“But they always get together? No matter what?” His stare was a little too intense.
“For romance, always. That’s what readers expect. No, demand.”
He relaxed back in his chair. “Then it’s worth waiting for the end.”
She blinked at him. “In fiction. In real life, things don’t always work out.”
His gaze held hers. “Then life should imitate fiction.”
She looked away. Something had gotten into Brody. He was more assertive than usual today. Maybe he was only mellow when he got enough sleep.
Ian cleared his throat. He looked at Paula. “Were the kids disappointed there wasn’t a snow day today?”
His change of subject could never be called subtle.
“No, they both love school. I have to admit, I was a little let down, though. I love having a free day with them.”
Brody pinched his lips together, serious. “It has to be hard, being a single mom.”
“It’s not for sissies.” Paula nodded toward her apartment in the east wing. “It’s a lot easier now that we’ve moved here. We live where my job is. I know where they are. When we get busy, I hire a girl to keep an eye on them while I work, but they’re here, so if something goes wrong, I can deal with it.”
“There aren’t many eligible men around here, though,” Ian said.
Paula snorted. “Doesn’t matter. I’m already juggling too many things. I don’t have time for one.”
“Don’t be like me,” Brody warned. “Don’t wait too long.”
Harmony sighed. She didn’t need another day of intense give and takes.
Brody reached for a sandwich and shrugged. “Valentine’s Day’s coming up. Maybe Cupid will take mercy and shoot someone special for us. If not, we’ll have to make do.”
Ian snickered. “Cupid? Really?”
Brody licked sauce off his lips. “Hey, it makes as much sense as anything else about romance.”
They made small talk after that, and by the time Harmony and Brody headed to the kitchen to make shepherd’s pie for supper, Harmony was in a better mood. So was Brody. He looked more relaxed again. While she bro
wned the ground chuck, he chopped sweet potatoes to boil.
“Why sweet potatoes?” he asked. “Isn’t that different?”
She shrugged. “They’re Tessa’s favorite. You can use any mashed potatoes to top the meat and vegetables.”
When they finished, Ian promised to pop into the kitchen and put the casserole in the oven at the right time, and Harmony went upstairs to wrestle with her story line. In a more benevolent mood, she decided Luxar’s ex-lover could live, but it was time to raise the stakes in the battles. Serifina lost one of her friends and fellow witches to Torrid instead. As an added bonus, Serifina was bereft and Luxar showed his tender side to comfort her.
By the time Brody and the kids filed in for story time, Harmony had finished the scene and was feeling pretty happy with herself. She picked up Harry Potter and started reading, looking forward to what Aiden thought about the new chapter, but the boy never interrupted her. When she finished, they still had ten more minutes before the kids had to leave. “Want to start the next chapter?”
Aiden shook his head. “That’s okay. I can wait till tomorrow.”
Brody frowned at him. “Is everything all right?”
Aiden shrugged and reached for Bailey’s hand. His little sister jumped off Brody’s lap and gave him a quick hug. Aiden grimaced, but tolerated it. Then they turned to Brody and waited for him to lead them back downstairs.
Harmony brooded. For heaven’s sake, she was starting to be like Brody, but something was bothering Aiden, and if he was upset, that bothered her. She shook her head. Hadn’t she just read a quote on Twitter, something like “a mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child?” She wished she could remember the source, but it was gone. She understood now how that could be true.
She went downstairs to find Brody. He was looking out the window in the kitchen. He turned when she came in.
