by CR Robertson
My feet trailed across the runway, trying to drag out the last few moments on this island.
Nicklas wasn’t coming.
***
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sofia
Inside, my carefully constructed walls began to crumble and break. I could barely breathe the pain was so intense. Even my sister’s chatter didn’t numb the pain. No one knew that I’d changed inside. Nicklas had taken a scared little girl and gave me a life worth living. When I finally locked the door of the room in Xavier’s house, I shattered. Tears threatened to choke me, and agony ripped through me.
I loved him and he let me walk away.
He’d never said he loved me. Not once.
I rolled my body into a ball and cried until there was nothing left inside me but an empty void where Nicklas had resided. The woman who emerged from that emptiness no longer resembled me. All that was left was a shell.
Everyone chattered at dinner, but I sat there numb. Catarina talked about the new shoes she bought, Lucrezia discretely watched Ash when she thought no one was looking. Life was normal, it was only me that was different.
Xavier was married, and no one had bothered to tell me. His wife was pregnant, and she seemed to be one of the nicest people I’d ever met. She made him happy, and I watched the way he looked at her.
It was the same way Nicklas had looked at me, with a small smile playing on his lips.
I fucked up and didn’t know how to fix anything.
“I need to go back to finish my course.” I sat beside Papa after dinner.
“I’d rather you stay close right now.”
“It’s my final year. I was able to do bits and pieces while in Cuba, but I need to go back to finish my project and take my exams.”
“Don’t be difficult, Sofia.” He sipped on a glass of scotch.
He spoke to me like I was a naughty child that should be sent to her room. That mould had been broken, and I’d tasted freedom. I was no longer the child who could be commanded. Two months ago, I would have gone and hidden in my room. That was the old Sofia. The new one stole one of Xavier’s cars the next morning and drove to Edinburgh. I left it at Papa’s business and took the train back to Aberdeen. The cash was still in my escape bag, so I paid for a hotel room until I found somewhere to live.
I didn’t care about anything anymore, and that included whoever wanted to abduct me.
Colour ceased to exist in my life, I barely ate and felt sick all the time. The only thing that kept me going was my design project. Nicklas had put all the photographs I’d taken onto my laptop. I spent hours staring at the two of us smiling at the camera. I needed him with every beat of my heart, wanting to turn back the hands of time until his arms were around me again.
As a last attempt at normalcy, I accepted a date with a guy from my class who learned that Mario was no longer around. The dinner made me feel dirty, as if I was cheating on Nicklas even though we’d been apart for a few weeks. Nigel’s eyes were the wrong colour. His accent made me want to cry, and every time he touched my hand, he made my skin crawl. It wasn’t his fault that he was the wrong man sitting across the table from me.
“I’m sorry, Nigel. This isn’t working, I have to go.” I lifted my bag and put money on the table.
He grabbed my wrist. “You’ll only get over him when you find someone to replace him.”
“I don’t want to replace him,” I whispered.
Tears streamed down my face the entire way home. How the hell was I supposed to keep living when I was dying inside?
He promised me he would follow me. Time had shown that that was a lie. My personal phone laid dead in my drawer with the battery pulled out. Jordan had taught me to cover my tracks. I still attended the majority of my classes online, and by the powers of the techno wizard Kris, no one could track where my computer was when I logged in.
I’d never felt more alone in my life.
Five weeks after I left Cuba, I finally opened the bag Nicklas left for me one night when I was alone and desperate. It took a flippant comment from one of the girls on my course after our exam earlier to prompt a visit to the pharmacy. I didn’t know what to do anymore, and right now I needed to be as close to Nicklas as possible.
Inside were the details of an account with a ridiculous amount of money in it. There were keys for an apartment in Edinburgh, a phone, and a letter.
Anything happens, go to this address, and stay there.
No one knows it exists except me. Stay safe, N.
I stared at the letter and knew that all the decisions I’d made were wrong. He would never have done this if he didn’t love me. The small bedsit I rented was freezing as the heat wasn’t working again, so I crawled under the duvet. The phone only had one number in it.
Right now, I had two choices. I either pressed the green button to phone Nicklas or I phoned Papa from my personal phone and admitted what a disappointment I’d become.
My thumb hovered over the button for so long my hand got a cramp in it. “Fuck it,” I muttered, pressing the green button.
“Yeah?” He sounded sleepy or drunk.
Now I felt stupid ringing after all these weeks. Three in the morning wasn’t a good time for anyone.
“Sofia?”
Tears trickled down my cheeks and I pressed my lips together. “I just needed to hear your voice.”
He sighed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I…” How did you tell someone that you missed them like your next breath when you were drowning?
“Your father has already phoned me and demanded I send you home. Where are you?”
“I left them a few weeks ago. My course was nearly over, and they wanted me to stay with everyone else, but I don’t belong there anymore.”
“Where do you belong, Sofia?” Nicklas sounded exhausted.
This was ridiculous. He was halfway across the world and I was hiding in a crappy bedsit. He didn’t need my troubles to add to his own. “I’m sorry to bother you. I’m sorry about everything.”
I hung up before I made an even bigger fool of myself.
My head throbbed, and I found myself crying uncontrollably again. I needed to get my life in order because I was falling apart and had no way of pulling myself back together. Why did Papa phone Nicklas? In my head, he’d already have a security detail assigned to me.
What the hell was I going to do?
Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I never answered my door since I didn’t know anyone well enough for them to visit.
The phone in my hand rung. “Hello?”
“Open the fucking door, Sofia.”
My legs were shaky as I padded across the one room. He looked tired and pissed as hell. My knees nearly gave way as his arm wound around my waist.
“Nicklas?”
“What the fucking hell, Princess?” His eyes took in my living conditions.
“I…” Yeah, there was still money in the bag, but I refused to touch any of my bank accounts. This was my own form of penance.
“It’s colder in here than on the street.” He kicked the door closed behind him. Nicklas was dressed in a black polo-neck jumper, dark jeans, and a black woollen coat. He hadn’t shaved in days and looked like he’d lived through a war, but my heart finally remembered how to beat.
I sank into his arms, not caring if I had zero self-respect left. He tugged me closer to him and just held me like I’d fantasised about. All the broken pieces started to stick together in his presence.
“What are you doing here?” I muttered, burrowing deeper.
“The better question is, what the fuck are you doing here? It’s fucking freezing cold. I’m not used to this weather anymore.”
I leaned back to stare up at him. “You promised to follow me,” I accused, sniffing even as the tears continued to fall.
He tucked my hair behind my ears. “I’m here, aren’t I? You were the one who walked away, Sofia. A man is allowed a certain amount of self-respect.”
Something was defective in me because I couldn’t stop crying.
“Pack your bags, you’re not staying in this fucking place.” He pushed me away and gathered my stuff, throwing it on the bed for me to pack.
I’d bought a few basics, but all my stuff was still in my apartment and I declined to go there in case it was being watched. Nicklas felt distant, his reactions restrained. Did he hate me for leaving? I shoved clothes into a bag without folding them, wiping away the tears that refused to stop.
When there was nothing else, he did a final walk through and returned to me.
“I’m not going with you if you hate me,” I said in a low shaky voice.
He crouched in front of where I sat on the bed. “If I hated you, I wouldn’t have followed you halfway across the world. I refuse to speak to you in a room that hasn’t been swept for devices. Let’s go.”
His hand felt warm and strong on mine, guiding me from my own personal hell. Papa would kill me, and Jordan would be angry, but for the first time in over a month I felt safe. Nicklas was the only person who made me feel that way. I refused to let what others expected influence me anymore. If Nicklas still wanted me, I was willing to follow him wherever he led. Everything was as simple and complicated as that.
***
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nicklas
A week after she left, I finally crawled out of an alcohol-induced coma and back into the real world. I tore her letter in half before deciding to read it.
You promised to follow me.
Make me believe in the power of love.
Lucas Black had been furious when she disappeared and phoned me constantly since the tracker he put in her was in a jar in my desk. My tracker was working perfectly in her ankle and it showed her to be in Aberdeen. I should have known my little bookworm had returned to finish her course.
I was on the next plane out of Cuba and in an apartment in Aberdeen in less than twenty-four hours. Sam could hold down the fort in my absence, and technology meant I was only a call away.
Four weeks she wandered around like a ghost, jumping at shadows and getting paler and thinner by the day. Lucas might not know where she was, but I had eyes on her constantly. All she needed to do was pick up that fucking phone and call me.
Now she was sitting on the sofa staring at her hands as if she was waiting for the executioner to arrive. To be honest, I wanted to strangle her, but what I saw in that bathroom left me confused and terrified in equal measure.
I handed her a glass of scotch and she shook her head. “Do you have any tea?”
Shit. I should have realised she wasn’t drinking. I downed the amber liquid in one gulp instead. “Are we gonna talk about the stick in the bathroom?” The words popped out before I could stop them.
Her teeth bit into her bottom lip and her eyes were huge and filled with tears. Every single one of those salty drops of water stabbed into my chest. “I don’t know what to say.”
That made two of us.
“Come here.” I opened my arms, and she wandered into them as if she’d never been gone. “Let’s get some sleep and we’ll sort this in the morning. Okay?”
“I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks.” The bruises under her eyes were a testament to that. I knew exactly how she felt. My bed had been too big and empty without her. I was fucking exhausted and needed to sleep.
She curled herself into a ball with me around her. She trembled for ages until she finally relaxed, her hand grasping mine to hold it tight against her stomach. What the fuck were we supposed to do? War was at our doorstep, and this was a complication that none of us needed.
“Sleep, baby.” My head rested on her shoulder.
“I love you,” she muttered.
“I know, Princess. I love you, too.”
She stiffened for several seconds before tightening her grip on my hand.
For the first time in years, I had no clue what the fuck to do. My problems couldn’t be fixed with a gun or dealt with by a knife. This was unchartered water for me, and I was slowly drowning.
***
Chapter Thirty
Sofia
It was still dark outside when I woke up disorientated. The heavy arm across my waist reminded me where I was and who was here with me. I laid there for ages with the clock ticking in the background before I sneaked out to the bathroom.
Nicklas found me standing with my hip against the window, staring out at the lights of the city. “Are your exams over?”
“There’s one left.”
“As soon as it’s done, we’re out of this freezing place.”
I met his eyes in the window which had become a mirror in the darkness. My stomach was tied in knots with apprehension. “What about us?”
His hands landed on my hips. “No more running, Sofia. If we’re together, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says.”
My head pressed against the cool glass. “No one ever paid me any attention unless I was Sofia Black and heiress to Papa’s throne.”
“I never touched that money. Ask Lucas for access to the account and look for yourself.”
“I know.” I did know without even having to ask anyone. “I knew it as soon as you walked out of that room. I don’t need to see any accounts.”
“Shit’s about to go down, baby, and I need to get you somewhere safe. Sam has Maria and her girls in a secret location on the island after Dahlia was abducted.”
“What?” I spun to face him, and the room swam around me.
He held me steady. “It was the reason I had to leave that day. Darius retaliated after losing his men in that attack.”
“Is she okay? Did they?” I knew what my fate was supposed to be that night I killed those men.
“She’s fine. Sam activated her tracker, and we got there before anything happened to her.”
“Tracker?” My brow wrinkled in a frown. “Why did she have a tracker?”
Nicklas sighed. “You have my tracker in your ankle. It’s how I knew where you were. I had Lucas’ tracker removed when you collapsed after you arrived in case someone knew the code to activate it.”
“That’s why he phoned you when he couldn’t find me.” Everything was starting to come into focus.
“Yeah, he located you in a jar in my office.”
I returned to watching out the window. “So, no running away?”
“Probably best not to under the circumstances.”
“What do we do now?”
Nicklas’ lips tipped up into that smile that always made me make stupid decisions. It was the smile that made my panties melt and me to open my legs. “I have a few things on my list, but considering it’s the middle of the night, some of those will have to wait.”
His hand slipped into my leggings and I shivered. It had been too long since I felt his touch. Goosebumps erupted on my skin in response to his proximity.
“Nicklas,” I whimpered. My hands braced me against the window even as my leggings descended to the floor, accompanied by my lace panties.
His fingers skimmed under my top. “Not gonna lie, Princess. I’m pissed at you for walking away.”
The angel on my right shoulder screamed to run, but that bitch that lived on my left shoulder practically purred at his words.
“Up.” He pushed my arms up to haul my sweater over my head, leaving me naked.
“Nicklas, I’m naked in front of a window,” I pointed out.
“Hmmm.” His lips pressed a kiss to the top of my spine. “Better put in an epic performance then.”
My mouth dropped open, and I watched his reflection as he got rid of his clothes. He was rock hard and ready to go. My core clenched at the thought of him back inside me again. Arousal dampened between my legs in anticipation.
“Hands on the window and spread your legs.”
Oh shit.
His hard length rubbed between my thighs and I pursed my lips together to prevent the moan that wanted to escape. His hands slid down my stomach
until they reached the apex of my thighs. My head fell back on his shoulder when he touched me, rubbing that bundle of nerves in a small circle.
“Good?” He sucked my earlobe.
I nodded, gasping when he pinched and massaged my clit. “Nicklas.”
My eyes had been closed, but they flew open when he thrusted hard and deep into my core without warning. I wasn’t anywhere near ready for his size or the stretch that accompanied it. Our gazes clashed and his eyes burned with anger. I was beyond full and it was too much after several weeks of abstinence.
“I saw your little date, Sofia. I wanted to rip his fucking throat out every time he touched you. The only thing that saved his life was the fact that you walked away, and I knew it was me you were thinking of as you cried on the way home.”
“Please,” I begged when he drew back and thrusted back in even harder. My breasts pressed against the window and the chill made my nipples tingle.
“You’re mine. Every part of you. Say it.”
My mouth opened, and I groaned when he pushed me into the window again. “I’m yours, Nicklas. I always have been.”
“Damn right.”
This wasn’t about love or emotion; it was a primitive claiming to ensure I remembered where I belonged. My fingers splayed across the window in an attempt to steady myself as he rode me hard, his forehead pressed to my shoulder.
My core clenched and spasmed around his pulsating cock. It was supposed to be a punishment, but the sensation of him moving in and out of me was divine. His fingers on his right hand caressed my clit as his left hand held my hip. I was on my tiptoes to try to get as much of him as possible, my ass pushing out to meet his every thrust.
“Nicklas.” His eyes met mine in the window, both of us staring into each other’s souls. The pressure in my stomach detonated until my orgasm danced along my nerve endings and throbbed in my muscles.
