“But that will never happen to us, Nic. You and me, we understand that marriage is a team effort. Like a merger if you will. I’ll overlook Cody not being mine, and we can get to work giving him a few siblings. You know, produce some real James heirs. You’d have to take some time off from the business of course…”
I have to admit that this is the exact point I stop listening and have to work really hard to control the rush of immediate anger I feel. It’s an emotion I feel not only for the way he’s talking about my son, as if he’s a cross he’s willing to bear, but also because I am more than a little steamed at myself.
So fucking stupid!
To think that Lawson James, the premiere playboy and consummate liar, would ever be anything but the spoiled little asshole who’d all but broken me years ago…and I’d gone and freaking slept with him again!
You’re such an idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
He’s that same beast, that same heartless fool who wanted nothing more than to flit about, partying and living his life, the reason I had originally not told him about Cody when I found out I was pregnant.
I knew this would happen and that I’d end up being tied, in some way, to Law. And that’s if I’m lucky! If not, odds are he’ll take my son and get rid of me so fast my head will spin…Exorcist-style.
It’s definitely time to get myself out of this mess, only problem is I don’t know how to accomplish that feat without making things much worse for myself.
I can’t forget that I need my job, that to leave now would not only put us in severe financial distress, but we’d lose our medical insurance and all the other perks that come along with this job.
Plus, for some unholy, stupid reason, I don’t seem able to hurt the man, no matter how much of an ass he is, or has turned out to be. Where’s the guy I fell in love with? Where’s the guy who bought me a freaking yellow umbrella because I love yellow and he hated the thought of me getting caught in a rainstorm?
Where’s the guy who gave me all his red M&Ms and ate all the green ones because I hate that color in food?
I want that guy back. No, I need that guy back because I need to tell him that my son needs his dad, a good man who’ll talk to him and help him when he finally becomes a man.
And honestly, I myself want that man back because, dammit, I miss Law and I want him. But the old him who used to be worth knowing, not this soulless creature who’s willing to take my son on while he waits for his “real” heirs.
Damn bastard. I bet he’ll shit a brick and feel it when he finds out he’s being so dismissive about his own flesh and blood.
So yeah, okay…I want Law back before I tell him about Cody, and I feel not one scrap of guilt about my next plans f action.
“Let’s not get so serious when we’re on vacation,” I purr, sliding my hand down, down, till I get to the heated arousal beneath the covers.
His eyes heat and flare, and just like that, I find myself pinned under him, moaning as he thrusts home and takes me to heights I haven’t felt in ten years.
Law James the Playboy doesn’t know it yet, but his days are numbered.
Chapter Fifteen
Nico
Yesterday I managed to nab Law’s phone while he went to talk to the captain and made a call to Minnie and Jack. We’re leaving this morning so that was not only a stroke of luck for me, but something more than necessary if I’m to get my plans rolling along nicely.
See, the thing is that I’ve decided that Law and I are going to start dating and doing all that schmaltzy couple stuff that I missed out on while we were together—unless you count me going to hockey games on campus and watching him and his teammates get hammered after.
Yeah, I’m kinda digging the thought of dinners and movie dates, and be still my heart, maybe he’ll even wise up enough to buy me a frozen yogurt this time. (Long story!)
So yeah, I’d been lucky to get ahold of them and convince them to take Cody home to Jude before we arrived and Law saw him. Jack had been flat out pissed and refused so vehemently that I spent five minutes listening to him bluster.
And then I told them what Law said, and boy, wowee! Leave it up to Jack to come up with that many adjectives in one breath. I love that those two love their son unconditionally, but that they are and always will be in Cody’s corner, as well.
Jack and Minnie—God, I can’t believe I made them miss out on so much of Cody’s childhood. The only way for me to calm some of my shame is by repeatedly replaying that suck-ass conversation I had with Law the morning after our first sex, and even then, I still feel slightly shamed.
That’s why I’ve agreed to let them take my son on vacation two days after my return. They’ll have him for four weeks, taking him on some ‘educational’ trip around Europe.
Man, the kid is really going to enjoy having grandparents who are loaded and freaking in love with the ground he walks on.
Okay, so that’s taken care of. I won’t have to worry about Law and Cody running into each other, and I can make a run at Mr. Insensitive.
Here’s my plan. Due to circumstances being what they are, and Law and I having to work together at all hours, I’m going to bombard him with me. The quirky me he fell for. The brainy me who drove him crazy with random trivia. The sexy me who despite being a complete dork has absolutely no inhibitions.
And then I’m going to force him to change.
Wanna know how?
I’m going to inundate him with memories of all the things he used to love, like hockey and movies in the park. Riding the subway just because we liked to people watch.
Working at the soup kitchen at St Patrick’s. Hotdogs and beer.
Friends.
That’s the most important one on the list and something that I’ve already mapped and planned and set in motion with Minnie. I’ve enlisted her to set up a barbecue for the week after they leave with Cody and just spring it on Law.
The kicker is that every friend he used to have will be there to get reacquainted with him; most are big, badass hockey players, while the others are football greats and even just old friends who want to catch up.
Not a single one of them will take any bullshit from Law—whether he’s a rich douche or not—so I foresee a lot of arguing, then competition, and finally just a jolly good time for my guy.
Worst-case scenario is that he’ll freak and come down on me like a ton of bricks. Best, he’ll enjoy himself so much he’ll get back some of that spark he’s missing, and I’ll be just that much closer to getting him back.
Because, yeah, ten years is a long freaking time to throw a man tantrum about losing his hockey career, and I’m sick to death of the bozo masquerading as the man I used to love.
“Hey, babe!”
I’m currently sunning on the deck, trying to soak up as much relaxation as I can before the chopper arrives and I have to leave this floating paradise.
“Here!” I yell back, not bothering to turn or open my eyes when I hear his footsteps.
“God, you look great in that bikini.”
“I know. That’s why I bought it. So you done?” I ask, barely cracking a lid when I feel the lounger dip beside my leg.
“Yeah. We still have an hour before we leave, and I’ve already packed us up…,” he wheedles suggestively.
I ignore him and keep my eyes closed, only barely registering the hand currently caressing its way up my leg and rubbing circles on the inside of my right thigh, so close to my sex the heat of his skin reaches me.
“Nic…”
“Hmmm?”
“Wanna go inside and fool around before we leave?”
“Nope.”
See, this is the thing; Law is way too used to getting his way in most everything. As a confirmed Lothario, I bet the guy hasn’t gone without sex since the moment he realized what his dick was for. And I, the sex-starved Sahara walker, made things oh so easy for him.
Well, no more, if he wants in the panties, he’s going to have to earn his shot, starting today since our vacay is officia
lly over.
“What the hell?”
Not having the option of just lying there and relaxing any longer, I lever myself up, twist and come to my feet, meeting his confused and irritated eyes dead on.
“I’m not going to be that girl for you, Law. Not anymore. I want more than a few casual hookups with you.”
“I fucking proposed!”
He’s on his feet and yelling now, and I can almost feel his emotions hit me in a wave. Yeah, I know that he’s been stewing about the way I dodged and deflected his marriage edict, and that it was just a matter of time before he brought it up again.
Thank God I’m not steeped in emotions and unprepared this time.
“Is that what you call that? Far as I could tell, you were laying down the law for me. You didn’t even ask, which is something you need to work on, because normally when a guy wants to marry a woman, he kind of asks first, instead of just telling her how it’s gonna be!” I hiss back, grabbing my cover and stalking inside.
“Oh, and another thing! No respectable mother would ever accept such a half-assed proposal coming on the heels of ‘I will accept your inferior offspring speech! Love me, love my kid!”
You didn’t think I was just going to let that go, did ya? I’m still pissed that he’d referred to Cody so…scathingly, and it doesn’t make one wit of a difference to me that part of that speech came from jealousy and his not knowing that Cody is actually his.
What if Cody was Brody’s kid? What if this situation was me marrying him and bringing another man’s kid into the mix? Would he resent my kid?
I’m not aiming to find out. I’m gonna make Law love my boy before he knows the truth—and that’s that.
He tenses, and I see a bit of the old Law trickle through his hard eyes for the briefest second before his expression smoothes and morphs back to that carefree charm I hate so much.
“Of course I will love your son—!”
“No! I’m not talking about accepting him and raising him as his stepfather; I’m talking about loving him like he’s yours, like you’re his long lost father and not some asshole who’s willing to put up with him because we’re a packaged deal and you want me. You love my kid. For him. Because he’s just too freaking adorable and smart not to love.”
I leave him standing there, stewing in his own juices, and pad to the bedroom to change and get ready for our flight.
Game on asshole.
Chapter Sixteen
Law
We’ve just landed and are on our way from the airstrip to Mom and Dad’s, and the closer we get to the house the more nervous I am. This is it, I’m about to meet the boy, and all I can think about are Nic’s snarled words to me on the liner.
And fuck me if I don’t know that she is totally serious. If I can’t get with the program here and be a real father to that kid, I know that all bets are off. She won’t accept grudging acceptance from me, and she most definitely will not accept a half-assed attempt at bonding like I was going to make with the hockey.
And who the hell can blame her?! I feel all kinds of shitty and proud right now. The pride comes from seeing the mama bear at her finest, demanding I love her kid just because…well…all moms think their babies are the epitome of perfection.
The shitty part comes in because I still feel a lot of resentment towards a little kid I’ve never met, and all because his dad tapped what I consider mine and got her pregnant.
Cody is—in short—the living, breathing, walking reminder that I had screwed up one of the best things that ever happened to me. Plus, I just hate the thought that Nic wasn’t pining away and waiting for my victorious return.
Harsh and dumb, but totally true.
Still nervous though—and getting more on edge—when we clear the gates of the estate and the house comes into view. What’s making it worse is that Nic hasn’t said one word to me. Not on the chopper, not on the plane, and not in the car.
I’m talking total freeze out, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m so used to women falling all over me and drooling on my wad—my cash wad that is—that I don’t know how to fix this without making the situation worse.
“Nic,” I say when the car stops and she moves to get out.
She pauses and looks at me over her shoulder, one brow quirked in question.
“I…I’m not good at this relationship stuff, and I think I’m even worse at the kid stuff so…give me some time? I’m pretty sure it’s impossible not to love a kid who came out of you; I just need a minute to wrap my head around more, which I really do want with you by the way. I just…it freaks me out that—”
“I moved on and didn’t pine away for you for ten years?” she asks with a laugh, her mouth twisting ruefully.
My face heats, but I nod, giving her a sheepish smirk.
“You know me too well.”
“No,” she says sadly. “I know the you I used to love. This guy who pretends not to care about anything is a total stranger. I’m hoping the old Law can shine through every once in a while. He would have been a great dad for Cody.”
She leaves me sitting in the car, flabbergasted and more than a little shame faced, because what she said is true. The old me, the guy who had goals and dreams and plans, wouldn’t have thought twice about being a decent human being.
The guy I am now, however, that bastard is so used to getting his own way. And now he’s standing in mine.
When I finally drag my ass out of the car, take a deep breath, and walk inside, it’s to see my parents and Nic cuddled up on a sofa in the den, my father laughing and giving my mom the eye.
“The three of you look cozy.”
Mom jumps guiltily before bustling over to give me a kiss and a bone-crushing hug for such a small woman.
“Oh you! How was your trip?”
“Great. We got everything set up. Nic did most of the work while I lounged around watching,” I say, going over to shake Dad’s hand before falling down beside Nic and pulling her close. “She said I can meet her kid.”
The room goes dead quiet for all of two seconds before she elbows me in the ribs and shakes her head.
“No! I said you can meet him when I meet the real you and not a moment before. Anyway, he won’t be here for the next four weeks because Jack and Minnie are taking him on a vacation,” she says, rolling her eyes with a shake of her head.
Dad chuckles and coughs, and Mom looks anywhere but at me.
“She’s right. You’re my son, and I love you, but you’re not exactly hitting for base right now. The kid is impressionable. He needs a father not a wingman.”
Ouch.
“Fine, fine, I get it. You all think I’m not a safe bet.” I grouch, feeling betrayed and not a little put out that they all have so little faith in me.
Nic sighs and retakes her seat beside me, her hand landing on mine with a squeeze.
“That’s not it, Law. I’m just not sure that meeting Cody now is a good idea. The old you would have taken him for burgers before you went to the rink and shot a few practices. This guy, the suave, footloose guy you are now…Cody won’t respond well to someone who he can tell isn’t all that interested in him.”
Mom is nodding her head vigorously, an indulgent smile creasing her face.
“The boy is exceptionally intelligent. Why, he even showed me how to prune the roses in the greenhouse for maximum growth.”
I want to be interested, really I do, but I don’t give a shit about Mom’s roses, and she knows it. However, my lack of answer also furthers the impression that I’m not interested in the kid, and when I see Nic frown, it just pisses me off even more.
“Uh, I need to get to the office.”
I practically run out of the house before anyone can say another word to me, or more importantly, before I can say something that I won’t only regret but that I’m pretty sure Nic won’t let me come back from.
Dammit! Why couldn’t she just wait for me?! I would have given her as many kids as she wants…why couldn’t
she wait?
Chapter Seventeen
Nico
Things aren’t going the way I wanted them to, and that not only makes me mad, but I am officially floating into fear territory.
He’s avoiding me, and the freaking barbecue is tomorrow. So what should I do? I’ve been vacillating between calling Jack and just letting him take care of things or calling everyone who’d been invited and just cancelling.
I won’t do it! I need Law to reconnect with these men and their families. I keep having this thought that if he just sees those guys…maybe he’d remembered the good times and the sense of belonging.
Law always thrived on that, knowing that he was part of something, that he belonged and that his friends counted on him and trusted him to have their backs.
It was only after he got injured that things started falling apart and the douche appeared. I saw it. Hell, I should have seen it sooner when I called and he wouldn’t answer, or his attitude the few times I just dropped by when my texts or calls didn’t get a response.
It had hurt, but I’d put it all down to him being bummed about stuff. I should have known that—even then—he was starting to withdraw. One time I’d shown up at his place and—after knocking for twenty minutes—I’d finally just slumped against the door and sat in the corridor, waiting.
It had been the middle of winter and so freezing that my legs were numb in less than an hour. I’d been so determined to see him after almost a week of nothing that I’d dragged myself there after a long day of work.
My biggest surprise was not seeing him stumbling drunkenly towards his door, because part of me had thought, or hoped, that he’d just been out getting hammered with his friends.
No, the surprise was when his door had opened from the inside, and I’d tumbled back, cracking my head on his hardwood floor and staring up at him.
He’d been pissed that I caught him, that I knew he purposefully ignored my knocking, and after helping me up—only to get me out of the way of the door—he’d closed and locked his apartment and wandered off.
LUCI (The Naughty Ones Book 2) Page 72
