“Mine, Nic,” I grunt, flexing my hips in slow glide that amps her up slowly. When her hips start moving again, I renew my efforts and allow myself to feel the absolute bliss that’s taken over every cell of my being.
The more I go, the more I feel like this is exactly where I belong. She’s mine and I’m hers. The last ten years were a waste, my fault and something I will spend the rest of my life making up to her no matter what it takes.
When I can’t stand to hold back another moment, I reach down between our sweat slicked bodies and flick at her nub, sending her over. The tight contractions take me, and I let loose, filling her up with everything I am, stamping my claim on her body as ruthlessly and wholly as a man can on his woman.
She’s mine. I just need to make sure she falls for me as hard as I now know I’ve always loved her.
Chapter Twenty-four
Nic
“Mom!”
I feel my heart clench with such rush of love that it is a physical ache when Cody jumps out of the car and runs my way, leaping into my arms at the last minute with all the exuberance of a puppy, or a ten-year-old boy who hasn’t seen his mommy in a month.
My arms close around him, and I stumble, falling to my knees as I squeeze him back and let go of the happy tears that have been dogging me all morning since I woke up and remembered that today’s the day my baby is coming home.
Hot on the heels of my joy is the fact that it’s also the day that he’ll meet his dad for the first time, and the day that I have to sit him down and explain to him what an idiot I am.
He’s Law’s kid, so I know I’m gonna have a heck of a time trying to get his forgiveness. Cody is only a little boy, but his advanced intelligence means that he will know that I’d deprived him of his dad because I was being a spiteful wretch.
Thank God I told him that Brody wasn’t his dad when he was younger because if I had and now had to explain, the kid wouldn’t only see me as an asshole, but as a liar too.
“Hey Mom! We got you and Jack’s son a whole bunch of presents when we went to Italy. Granny Min said you like shoes, so she bought you these girly pink things, but I got you a little gondola.”
He keeps chattering, as I stand and turn to Law, his youthful enthusiasm only serving to make this whole ordeal worse than it already is.
Jack and Minnie finally exit the limo and come forward to hug both Law and myself. I hold onto Minnie a little longer for strength and almost start bawling when she gives me a tight squeeze and a look that is all motherly affection and reassurance.
“It will all be fine, Nico. I know it will,” she whispers quietly, as Jack ambles forth to envelope Law in a big, crushing hug.
Apparently, he believed my confessions because instead of laying into his parents, he’s been surprisingly calm about the whole situation. While I can’t exactly say he’s been nice to me these past weeks, he has been attentive. In his own way.
He doesn’t mistreat me or insult me, or anything of that nature. He just won’t let me talk to him about anything important. The one time I did try to apologize and explain that I understand what an idiot I am, he’d kissed me senseless and spent the next hour torturing me with his mouth and body.
Have I mentioned that Law seems to be very bossy in the bedroom? Revs my freaking motor every time he looks at me with that hard glint and tells me to drop my clothes.
He’s insatiable and doesn’t hesitate to take me. Anywhere. Everywhere. No asking, no apologies, just Law showing me, and oftentimes whispering into my ear, that he owns every part of me and that I mustn’t ever forget it.
“Well, ladies, let’s go in. I’m sure Law is impatient,” Jack says, slapping at his son’s shoulder.
Cody, of course, has spotted Law, and the boy is fascinated. He studies him like a bug under a microscope, even going so far as to wave him closer. Law smiles slightly and goes down on his haunches, his face so close to Cody’s that I gasp silently.
They’re exactly alike. Father and his son, a mini-replica of the man I know in my heart is going to be a fantastic father.
Law leans closer and smiles.
“Hey buddy.”
Cody’s own mouth doesn’t twitch, and I feel my heart sink before he does the oddest thing. He lays a hand on Law’s cheek and reaches a finger up to his eyes.
“You’re my dad, huh?”
My heart stills, like stops beating for a second before Law’s own mouth twitches into a large smile that lights up his whole face. He’s emotional, maybe more so than I am, and I hear him clear his throat once or twice before he takes Cody’s hand and presses it closer to his cheek.
“You’re a really smart little man.”
Tears. I feel tears coursing down my cheeks when Cody leans in and throws his arms around his neck, all but crawling on the poor man.
“Man! This is so cool! My dad isn’t old like all my friends’ dads. And you used to play hockey for NYU! They’re gonna be super jealous.”
Well, I guess that went a lot easier than I anticipated.
********************************************************************
I didn’t knock on a single scrap or sliver of wood. That’s why half an hour later I’m sitting on the sofa beside Law, getting the lecture of a lifetime from my son, as he patiently paces in front of us both reading me the riot act.
“Cody—”
“No, Mom. You know it’s not right.”
Why, oh why, did I have to have the one kid on the planet who understands every goddamned thing and is mature enough not to let me slide when I’m wrong?
It was cute when he was three and telling me that I was building his Legos wrong. This, however, is humiliating and if I didn’t fully deserve his anger, I’d probably send him to timeout for his disrespect.
“Cody, son, don’t be so hard on your mom,” Law says, startling me when he frowns at Cody sternly, stopping his already ten minute dress down.
“But Daaad!”
“No buts, boy. This is your mom, not some stranger you’re speaking to. She made a mistake, and she’s apologized. Accept it and start showing her some respect or you can forget about meeting my friends,” Law says as a warning, giving him another frown.
Cody finally relents and shakes his head before coming over and giving me a hug. I probably don’t deserve it, so I squeeze him a little tighter and whisper my apologies into his ear, letting him know that I’m not mad about his anger, that I understand and won’t judge if he’s still upset.
“Fine. But I want autographs, Dad.”
Law laughs, a full-bellied sound that reminds me of the old him that I’ve so foolishly been searching for. I realized sometime in the early hours of the morning a few days ago when I couldn’t sleep that I’ve been wrong yet again.
We all grow and change constantly. We’re never the same; we can’t stay the same; and I’ve been chasing a dream that no longer exists.
The man’s moody and can throw a fit about the smallest things, and he’s a lot more laid back about things that drive me nuts, but he’s not lacking the way I’ve been thinking.
No, I’m lacking because—instead of being an adult—I was a spoiled brat who wanted what she wanted. Not the truth. And know how I came to this startling conclusion?
I realized that I’m not that same weak, sad girl who almost died of heartache and would probably have been much worse off if not for Brody. He saved me from me.
I changed, and not because I consciously decided to, but because that is the evolution of life. Everything changes and grows. It’s nature. So, yeah, he’s not the man I loved when I was a young starry-eyed girl, but who the hell cares.
He’s still worthy of love just as he is. I just hope that one day soon he’ll forgive me for all my mistakes and think me worthy of loving in return.
Today, just minutes ago, was a first step in the right direction, I think, because I didn’t once think that Law would defend me to Cody.
He did though, and for that I will forever be gra
teful. It means I get to keep my infallible mom status with our son, and that whatever happens in the future, Cody will have a good man, a role model in his father.
“You’ll get your autographs, kid. Now go find your grandmother and tell her it’s time for those gifts you all bought on your trip. I love gifts.”
Cody sprints away with a grin, leaving me alone with Law and a hundred questions. Most of these thoughts are my need to confess all to him, but for some reason I hesitate to say anything.
Maybe because I don’t want to rock that boat yet.
“Thank you.”
It’s all I can say as he leans back on the sofa and regards me with a deadpan expression that makes me shiver with longing. I love it when he looks at me that way because it means he wants me again, and pathetic sap that I am, I want him too, even knowing that he doesn’t love me and part of him hates me.
Law shrugs and curls his lip.
“You’re his mom and soon you’ll be my wife. I won’t have him disrespecting my wife.”
No, we’re not married yet—and not because I said no or did anything to sabotage things, but because Minnie threw a fit when she heard we were eloping.
And then Law decided that he wanted Cody there, and he told me, didn’t ask, that we would wait and do things right.
“Either way, I’m grateful to you. He has every right to be angry and…just thanks.” I mumble, pasting on a smile when Minnie comes breezing into the room, followed by Cody.
Half an hour later I own more souvenirs and plastic replicas than I ever wanted to in my life, but we’re all laughing and smiling as Cody gets out some 3D puzzle of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and starts showing Law how to build it. Lunch passes with the two of them still at it, their heads together as they endeavor to put it together in one day.
I feel at peace and happy, just enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.
“Nico, dear, would you ask Rose to bring in the tea?” Minnie asks when I rise to excuse myself, in need of the bathroom.
I nod and leave them all together, laughing at Law when Cody tries yet again to drag a piece out of his hand. God, the two of them haven’t known each other a day and already they’re squabbling.
I stop by in the kitchen to tell Rose and end up spending a few minutes helping her ice cupcakes before making my way to the bathroom.
See Nic, everything’s going to be just fine. They’re all happy, you’re not being locked away in a dungeon while Law steals your kid, and if you play your cards right, he’ll be in love with you in no time.
I snort as I finish with the toilet and wash my hands only to come up short when a pain slices through my abdomen doubling me over. It’s so severe that I lose my footing and fall flat on my ass, my vision winking out for a few precious seconds.
I breathe through the pain, my breaths a huff of sound, and shudder in relief when the knot slowly releases. A few deep breaths in and I feel able to stand.
When another cramp tears through me I can’t hold in another scream, and I yell so loud the sound echoes off the walls, as I crash to my knees, curling into a ball.
My heart is pounding, ricocheting through my ears.
“Nic? Nic!”
Oh, not my heart, footsteps.
He’s by my side so fast that I almost giggle, thinking he must have followed me when his royal highness noticed me gone for too long. Bossy man.
“Jesus Christ! Dad! Call an ambulance.”
I pass out a second later, wondering why we need an ambulance and why his hands are shoving between my legs.
Chapter Twenty-five
Law
I’m pacing after what feels like hours spent in this goddamned waiting room. God, the blood…
Just thinking about what I saw when I barged into that bathroom after hearing Nic scream sends fear coursing through every vein I own because I know now that she was definitely pregnant and that chances are she isn’t anymore.
Besides the fear I feel at just the thought of losing her I feel a sorrow so vast that my chest is raw inside. A baby, our baby could be gone before we even knew it existed, and the knowledge breaks my heart.
I want a family with Nic and everything that goes along with it. If she’s—
“Mr. James.”
I look up to see a middle-aged man coming my way, his tired face wreathed in a smile that eases my pain a little, not much, but enough that I am able to answer him and shake his hand.
“Nic…?”
“Is doing just fine, Mr. James.”
“There was a baby?” I ask, already knowing the answer before he says it.
“No. Miss Sharp had what we call a Molar pregnancy, which is a growth...”
He keeps babbling on and on, medical terms and lingo flying from his mouth, but I stop listening after I get the gist. Nic was never pregnant and so…I feel a little better.
I’m still sad though because I’d needed her to be, but knowing now that we haven’t lost a kid makes me feel so relieved that I have to sit down when my knees wobble and threaten to dump me.
“That’s not to say that you can’t try for a baby. Miss Sharp’s uterus looks good, and as far as I can see the contraception that she was on—”
“Contraception?” I interject, feeling my temper rise swiftly.
If she was on something to stop conception, knowing that I want more children, then I swear to God we’re done. I can’t—no, I won’t—be with a woman who refuses to be honest.
The part that hurts the most though? Did she do this because she doesn’t want another child with me? I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and it hasn’t escaped me that Cody was an accidental miracle. Though I can see that Nic adores that kid, I can’t help but wonder if she was upset, maybe even a little resentful.
“Yes, Mr. James. Although from what I read in her doctor’s report that was faxed through, she was scheduled for another injection in two weeks, which she cancelled recently.”
The news eases the knot in my stomach, and I breathe again, knowing that I haven’t just lost my girl.
“Thanks, Doc. Can I see her now?”
“Sure. She’s still sleeping, but I see no reason you can’t sit with her. Your parents might want an update though; they’ve been calling non-stop. Your phone seems to be off.”
I wince and pull my phone free, cringing at the amount of missed calls as I follow the doctor down a long corridor and into a dark room with beeping.
Nic is a tiny lump beneath the snowy white covers, and I stop, closing my eyes before thanking the doctor and approaching the bed. My first reaction is to comfort her, take her in my arms and reassure her that everything’s going to be okay and that I’m here, that I love her…a million things that I know I can’t say.
No, a million things that I won’t say because—at this moment—I need control, and I’ll only get that if I establish our boundaries. Part of me wants to break her. Hurt her the way I’m hurt—because no matter what I know, she still lied.
She never once mentioned being protected when I told her what I intended, and though she couldn’t have done anything about it, I hate that she’s so distant that she didn’t tell me.
See, I want every part of her. I want to own her mind and body—and even her soul. I want her to wake and breathe for me. I want to be everything to her, and if I’m to have that, I need to ensure that she surrenders first.
“Law?”
Her voice comes out on a husky moan of pain, and I look over, forcing myself to remain in the chair I’ve taken and look at her coldly.
“You’re in the hospital, babe. You were bleeding.”
God, all that blood. Even now, after the nurses had forced me to scrub my hands, I can still see, smell, and feel the blood coating my hands when I shoved them between her legs, trying stupidly to stem the flow.
Her brow crinkles, and she groans, her hands going to her abdomen.
“Was it my appendix or something?” she asks, still confused and obviously struggling to remember anything other th
an the pain that must have gripped her.
I can’t think of that now and stay calm, so I push it all away and focus on what I need to get out of this exchange.
“You were on birth control?”
She blanches, her face losing what small amount of color it had, and closes her eyes briefly before meeting my eyes and nodding once.
“I was.”
Honesty. I didn’t realize until this very minute how much I needed her to lie and tell me that it’s not true, that once again she’d tried to cheat me out of something that is mine, and I can honestly say that I hate her as much as I love her in that minute.
Taking a deep, calming breath, I keep our eyes locked and cock a brow, not wanting to speak before she tells me everything.
Nic fiddles with the blanket at her hip for a bit before twisting her mouth in a grimace and shaking her head on a puff of laughter.
“I wasn’t going to tell you, and at first, I was going to just get the next shot and keep it quiet. Part of me resented you for wanting something more from me and…just taking it as you always do…but…”
I can breathe again, as she continues, renewing my hope that there’s more still to come for us instead of me throwing her out and moving on. It would hurt, but I would have done it if only to keep what little I have left of myself.
“But?”
“But I rethought it and cancelled. See, I know how much this means to you, and no matter how at odds we are Law, you are probably it for me—and I know it. So I’ve decided I’m just going to give in and do what needs done, and hopefully, you and I come out at the end still in one piece.”
She sounds so dejected at the thought of being with me that it hurts a little before I realize what she’s just said.
I’ve won.
Chapter Twenty-six
Nic
Turns out that I didn’t have an infected appendix and that the pain had been my body’s way of saying, “Listen up, woman. Something ain’t right.”
LUCI (The Naughty Ones Book 2) Page 77
