“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He kissed the back of my hand. “I didn’t want you to sit here and worry.”
“But you’re my dad.”
Tears filled his eyes, but he smiled. “It’s my job to protect you. And I’ve done all I can to do that.”
“I’m an adult now. You don’t have to protect me anymore.”
“Yes, I do.” He tugged my hand, drawing it closer to his chest. “I called Grant.”
I frowned. “When?”
“A little over a month ago. I saw what was happening with the company, saw where we were headed, and I didn’t want to leave you with a company that was falling apart.”
“Daddy—”
He waved his hand at me, gesturing for me to wait for him to finish. I could see how tired he was, how hard this was on him. It made me feel stupid to realize this had been going on for however long and I’d been so wrapped up in my own stuff that I didn’t see it.
“I knew we would have to sell. And I’d been following Grant’s career in California. I knew he was in a position to come in here and take over. I knew he could take care of you now. And I knew he was the only one you’d accept.”
“Was there ever any other offers on the business?”
My father smiled. “We’ve had dozens of offers over the years. But Grant’s was the only one I considered.”
“And the money…”
“I wanted him to put all the money in a trust fund, because I knew you would have to replace a huge chunk of the employees in order to modernize our operations. I wanted you to be able to offer them early retirement and not have to worry about where the money was coming from.”
“Did Grant know you were sick?”
My father shrugged. “I didn’t tell him, but I’m sure he figured it out.”
He pulled his other arm out from under the blanket and I flinched at the thick tubes attached to it. There were bruises under his thin skin that looked terribly painful. I wondered again how I’d never noticed. He wore long sleeves often, even in the summer, so I didn’t think about it. But I should have noticed.
I should have known.
“I wanted you taken care of. I need to know you’re going to be okay.”
“I’m not the one who’s sick.”
He let go of my hand and reached for me. I moved close, let him run his hand over my face.
“I’m ready, Addison. When your mother died, she made me promise I would stick around until I walked you down the aisle.” He cleared his throat. “I probably won’t make that. But you kept me going. Now you’re grown and you’re not alone.”
I shook my head, choking back tears. “I don’t understand. You’re talking like it’s all over. I don’t even know what’s happening here. Can’t they do a transplant or something?”
My dad shook his head. “I have cancer, Addison. The kidney thing is just a side effect of the chemotherapy drugs they’ve been giving me. They won’t put me on the transplant list, or even consider it, because the cancer will kill me before the kidneys do.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around what he was saying.
“You can’t be dying. I just…I refuse to believe that.”
“Addison—”
“You’re the healthiest man I’ve ever known. You’re unorganized and you can’t remember things as well as you should, but you eat well, you exercise—”
“That’s not always enough.”
“We could find another doctor, get a second opinion.”
He smiled softly, a tired smile that did nothing to brighten his tired eyes. “I’ve been to half a dozen doctors. There’s nothing more that can be done.”
“But—”
“Addison, I’ve accepted this. You need to respect that.”
His tone was firm, a shadow of the tone he used with me when I was a child and I’d done something wrong. It was biting in this moment. I sat back and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, not caring about makeup or appearance or anything. I just wanted to make the tears go away.
“You’re giving up.”
“I’m not giving up. But my cancer is advanced. It was advanced when I was diagnosed. There’s nothing that can be done.”
“But you—”
“Addison, this is reality.”
“You are the only family I have.”
The grief was back in his eyes, if it had ever left. He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my palm. And then he closed his eyes and my heart began to pound.
What was I going to do without my dad?
I leaned close to the bed and took his hand, held it between both of mine and just watched him struggle through four hours of dialysis. I had to be strong. I had to be the one he could lean on now.
Chapter 22
I heard the elevator doors slide open, heard him walk through the tarp that still covered the floor in the living room. The painters had been at it for over a week, yet they still weren’t quite finished with the living room. Slowest painters in the world. If I were in charge of this job…
The things that go through your mind when you’re trying not to think about the elephant sitting across the room.
I took a long swallow of the smoky brandy I’d found in his stash in the kitchen.
“Where have you been?” he demanded. “I’ve been calling you all afternoon! We had a meeting at four that we were both supposed to attend. Do you recall that? I called Angela and she said you would be answering your cell phone, but of course you weren’t. When you didn’t show up at the office, I went to the project sites and your condo. Your landlord thinks I’m an obsessive boyfriend or something…”
He trailed off as I continued to stare off into the distance. I’d come out on the balcony to escape the smell of paint and to enjoy the view, but I couldn’t quite get myself to focus on that incredible view. The only thing I saw when I looked out there was darkness. Absolute darkness.
“Addison?”
There was something about the way he said my name. The damn I’d shoved my emotions behind suddenly broke at the sound of it. I began to cry, tears falling in streams, hard little sobs slipping from between my lips unbidden and unwanted. Grant didn’t say another word. He just scooped me up out of the chair where I was sitting and settled in it himself, cradling me in his arms like I was nothing more than a small child.
He held me like that for a long time, never saying a word. He ran his hand over my back, over the top of my head, but he never tried to console me with words that were meaningless or with kisses I wasn’t ready for. He just held me as I cried into his shoulder, ruining the starched flawlessness of it.
When the endless well of tears finally dried up, I pressed my lips to his throat.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
He brushed one last tear from my cheek and kissed my forehead lightly. And then he waited. I closed my eyes and buried my face against him, breathing in the warmth of him, reveling in the safety of his arms. I could remember sitting in my father’s arms this way after my mom died. I remembered the smell of him and the feel of his arms around me. I remembered it so vividly that it might have happened yesterday rather than more than twenty years ago.
“We’re going to be okay, love,” he said. “Because your mom’s watching over us now. She won’t let anything bad happen to us as long as we’re together and we’re taking care of each other. She’ll keep us safe.”
“But I want her here,” I said.
“I know, baby. But she can’t. Not right now.”
“Why not?”
“She was sick. But now she’s all better as long as she’s gone. She won’t hurt anymore, and she won’t have to take that icky medicine anymore.”
“Is she happy without us?”
“No, baby. I’m sure she misses us as much as we miss her. But she doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“My dad is dying.”
I felt Grant’s body tense with my words, but his hand never stopped stroking my ha
ir.
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“Did you know?”
He shook his head. “No. But I thought something was going on with the way he handled the negotiations for the buyout.”
“He’s all the family I have. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”
“He’s not all you have, Addison. There are plenty of people who love you.”
“Are there?”
He kissed the top of my head. “I love you.”
I pulled back and looked at him. I needed to see his eyes, needed to see that what he’d said was true and not just words to make me feel better. He met my gaze without flinching, without turning away. He met my eyes with a steady gaze that was filled with all the things I used to see there. And that made it too easy to believe him—that he did love me, and that he wouldn’t disappear from my life again.
I kissed him, our lips touching gently. And then I curled up against his chest again, snuggling close as I tried not to think about a future without my dad.
“Move in with me,” he said softly.
“I think maybe you should move in with me until all this decorating business is over. It reeks in there.”
He chuckled softly. “Maybe.”
I closed my eyes and bit back another sob.
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for all of this.”
“You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”
“If you’re here, maybe.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
He lifted my chin and forced me to look him in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere,” he repeated. “You’re stuck with me.”
He kissed me and it was like always, one of those soul-crushing things. But there was also something different about it this time. A sense of security that hadn’t been there before. I felt safe in his arms. Safe and protected in a way I never had before. Not even with my dad, as much as I hated to admit that. This was all that mattered, all that I wanted, and all that I would ever want. I could survive as long as he was by my side.
Chapter 23
Four Months Later
“Yes, that is an amazing view,” I said as I watched John Lewis, one of the potential clients Grant had flown in from Dallas just for this party tonight. “And we can offer the same sort of views to your project.”
“I’m sure you could, Ms. Berryman,” he said, turning to me. “But can you also deliver the same quality that your competitors can offer?”
“We can offer better quality than anyone else in town.”
“She’s telling you the truth, John,” Grant said as he came up behind me and slipped a fresh drink into my hand.
“How can I not believe a face like that?” John asked. “But I have to say, this building is very impressive. Your company really built this?”
“Seven years ago,” Grant said. “I was on the drywall crew at the time.”
“Drywall? I would have put you down as the guy with the saw.”
Grant laughed even as I leaned back into him and took a sip of the apple juice he’d brought for me. My stomach was unsteady, as it had been in the evening for the last few weeks. The doctor promised it would pass, but it was taking its sweet time. I wasn’t sure I was in a hurry to move on to the next stage of this production, anyway. Swelling and weight gain and heartburn. Everything I’d read about pregnancy threatened to scare me to death. Grant was taking it well, but he wasn’t the one who would have to carry the kid to term.
“We’ll provide you the best you can get anywhere in the country, John,” Grant said, sliding his arm around my waist. “Now, if you’ll excuse us for a moment, I have a few other guests I’d like to introduce my beautiful business partner to.”
We moved into the living room, the blue walls made subtle by the artwork I’d brought with me from my apartment. Grant held me close as we moved from group to group, welcoming guests and offering any answers to any questions they might have. When Angela and Kevin walked in, Grant immediately called out to them, pulling me across the room to greet them properly.
“Take her upstairs,” Grant said to Angela in a low tone. “She’s exhausted.”
“I’m fine. And I can speak for myself.”
“Like when you told me this would be okay?” Grant looked at me, concern written all over his face. “You’re pale and the circles under your eyes are so dark, you look like you have black eyes.”
“They are not,” I said, glancing at Angela, who discreetly shook her head.
“Go upstairs for a little while. Indulge me.”
“Tell him women have had babies for centuries, Kevin,” I said.
Kevin held up his hands. “Don’t get me in the middle of this.”
“Come on,” Angela said. “You can show me the new dresser.”
Grant kissed my temple, whispering “love you” against my skin as I moved away. I glanced back at him, a smile I couldn’t hide on my lips.
“If our rivals could see him like that, they might not be so intimidated by him,” Angela said as we pushed through the door of the master suite.
I collapsed onto the loveseat and sighed. “He’s right about the exhaustion. I feel like I haven’t slept in months, even though he let me sleep until nearly noon this morning.”
“I’ve heard that passes after the first trimester. But then it comes back in the third.”
I groaned. “Gee, just what I wanted to know.”
Angela sat beside me. “How’s your dad?”
I shrugged, leaning back and closing my eyes. “The same. Agnes says he’s had more good days than bad ones lately.”
“That’s good.”
I peeked at her. “I suppose so. I’m just glad that she’s been able to be there for him.”
“It’s nice of her, what she’s doing.”
“They worked together for nearly thirty years. He’s known her longer than he knew my mom.”
“Strange how things like that happen.”
I shrugged.
“Is everything ready for tomorrow?”
I nodded. “You’ll be here at nine, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’m going to need lots of help getting ready. I thought doing it this way would be quick and easy, but I keep thinking about everything we have to do—”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
I held out my hand to her and she took it as she settled down on the loveseat beside me. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“We’ve sure been busy lately. I don’t know how Grant could think we need more clients. We have more projects going on right now than we’ve ever had.”
I laid my head down on the back of the loveseat again, watching her through half-closed eyes.
“Grant thinks we can handle twice as many projects. He says the new digital system he put in place makes it easier to keep track of everything. And he’s hired some good foremen.”
“I heard he promoted Billy.”
I smiled. “You’d think he was threatening the guy with prison the way he took it. Billy really doesn’t want to be a foreman.”
“I guess when you get accustomed to something…”
“Daddy’s really impressed with what we’ve done. He told me he knew he was doing the right thing bringing Grant in, but he didn’t expect the turnaround to be this quick.”
I closed my eyes for a minute, the desire to sleep so strong that I almost let myself drift. But then I forced my eyes open and focused on Angela.
“How are things progressing with you and Kevin?”
A blush darkened her complexion. “We’re talking about moving in together. He hates that his schedule makes it so hard for us to find time to be together. He thinks if we live together, we’ll have more time together.”
“He might have a point.”
“But we’ve only been together six months. I’m a little worried that it won’t last once we move in.”
“He spends most nights at your place already, doesn’t he?”
She nodded, a smile that told a story slipping over her lips. “He does.”
“Then you’re practically living together already. He just wants to make it official.”
“I suppose.” She wiped her hands on the front of her dress as though they were sweating or something. “I just don’t want to do anything to mess this up. I really like him.”
“Everyone can see that every time you’re together.”
She glanced at me, that smile growing. “Yeah?”
I touched her arm lightly. “If you’re happy, be happy. Don’t worry about what might happen sometime in the future because you never really know what might be around the next corner.”
Her smile died a quick death. She took my hand. “I’m sorry. I know with your dad and everything…”
“But I’ve also got a business that’s doing really well, a man who loves me, and a baby on the way. So I can be still be happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
The door burst open then and Kevin stuck his head inside.
“So it’s really boring down there. Can I come hide out with the two of you?”
I laughed. “Don’t let Grant hear you say that. He worked hard on putting this thing together with Rebecca. Very impressive, really.”
“Oh, I’m sure it is. For a business party. But this isn’t my kind of business.”
I held out my hand to him. “Come join us. We’ll have our own little party.”
He climbed onto the narrow loveseat behind Angela, and that’s how Grant found us over an hour later. Laughing and sharing a bottle of apple juice—the only fluid that didn’t make me want to throw up in the evenings—and stories about Grant when he was a child.
“Hey, we’ve got a houseful of potential clients downstairs,” he said in a loud whisper.
I laughed and his expression softened. I got up and moved up against him, wrapping his tie around my hand. “There’s more to life than business.”
“Yes, well, business pays for the rest of it.”
LUCI (The Naughty Ones Book 2) Page 96
