It turned out that her new husband was attentive and noticed the change in her demeanor. “You’re awfully quiet,” he said, glancing over at her. “It’s been a long day. Are you tired?”
It was dark, and she could only see the outline of his profile, but his voice was kind and she could imagine that he was looking at her kindly too. It made her feel wretched. He was about to find out that she had once again kept pertinent information from him. No doubt he would see this in an even worse light than her less-than-upstanding method for finding a husband.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she lamented. She shifted in her seat and looked ahead, noticing that the cabin was fast approaching. She could already see the coal oil lamp that burned in the window.
“Tell me what’s on your mind when we get settled,” he suggested, slapping the reins on the horse to move her along at a faster clip.
“All right,” she agreed, feeling a measure of relief at the excuse to delay the conversation for a bit longer. “The barn is just past the cabin if you want to drive the horse straight there.”
The barn was dark, so Susannah lit a lamp when they arrived and showed Adam the tack bucket where the hoof picks and brushes were thrown together. She wondered if he would comment on the lack of organization, but he merely nodded and got to work.
She picked up one of the worn brushes, but he stopped her. “You go sit on the bench. I’ll take care of the horse.”
She bristled. He was in her barn, already giving her instructions, and even though the instructions were favorable, they felt strange. Once again, she had been expecting to instruct him and the opposite had taken place.
“I can help,” she offered. “The foreman does most of the work with the horses, but I’m not useless around them.”
He shook his head, and his tone brooked no argument when he responded. “You can help by pouring me some whiskey when we get inside. This here is men’s work.”
She slowly placed the brush back in the bucket. “As you wish,” she said with a shrug. Susannah sat on the bench and folded her hands in her lap. She could have argued with him. She could have informed him that she was perfectly capable of helping him with the horse—it was her horse, after all—but the truth of the matter was that in that moment, she felt happy to give up control and have someone else see to things. During the last year, she had felt every responsibility weighing heavily on her shoulders.
She watched Adam unbuckle the straps of the harness from the mare. He moved expertly around the horse and within ten minutes she was brushed, her hooves were picked, and she was relegated to a stall with fresh hay, water, and a bag of oats.
“I can see you know about horses,” she complimented.
“Yes, ma’am, I wasn’t just shootin’ my mouth off when I said I grew up on a ranch.”
“Seems I made a good choice when I picked you.”
He laughed. “Funny, I was just thinking the same thing, Mrs. Harrington. Well, I mean I was thinking I made a good choice accepting.”
She smiled, liking the sound of her new name coming from the lips of her new husband. “I hope you continue to think you made a good choice.”
“I will. Nobody is perfect. But the fact is, you have just made me the luckiest man on God’s green earth. A wife and a ranch—it’s just about all I ever wanted.”
She warmed to his words and wished she could bask in them, but there was still one important issue he was unaware of. Until he accepted the fact that she had a son outside of wedlock, she could not be at ease. “Is there anything else you want, Adam? Children, perhaps?”
He didn’t answer right away, which made Susannah nervous, and when he spoke his words filled her with fear. “No, I’ve never really wanted children. Do you?”
Oh, God. He doesn’t even want his own children? “Yeah, maybe just one,” she answered with wry despair.
“We can talk about that. I might be persuaded to change my mind. Now come along, darlin’,” he said, holding out his hand to her. “I’ll have that whiskey now and you can tell me what’s goin’ on in that head of yours. Then we have the rest of your spanking to attend to.”
She let out a small squeak of alarm. She’d forgotten about his promise to finish the spanking on her bare backside. She had convinced herself hours ago that he too would forget, but it seemed that was not the case. Strangely, the prospect of receiving Adam’s discipline appealed to her in that moment. If he spanked her after she told him about her son, she would almost be grateful. That would mean there was a chance he’d forgive her.
She rose, placed her hand in his, and allowed him to lead her to the cabin. He carried in his other hand his lone piece of luggage and set it next to the front door upon entering. The house was quiet, which meant Caleb was asleep in the back room. Betsy, the foreman’s daughter tasked with watching her son that day, was snoozing on the sofa and awoke when they entered the room. She gawked at Adam unabashedly before Susannah ushered her outside.
They spoke on the porch. “He’s awful handsome, ma’am,” Betsy exclaimed in a high-pitched, girlish voice.
Susannah felt proud upon hearing the girl’s compliment. Her husband was indeed handsome, and he was hers… at least for now. He might very well hightail it back to Texas after her big secret came to light.
“Does he have good table manners? That’s important, you know. You don’t want a man who eats with his knife.”
Susannah laughed in spite of her nerves. “There are much more important qualities to seek in a husband besides his looks and table manners. But yes, his manners are quite all right.”
Betsy shook her head stubbornly. “I couldn’t marry a man who ate with his knife. No, ma’am.”
“That’s fine, Betsy. That’s fine. I’m sure you will find a gentleman when you start courtin’.” Susannah shooed the girl along home so she could get the next part of the evening over with. She watched as Betsy trotted to her parents’ cabin that was just within view. With a sigh of relief at having her gone, Susannah gathered her courage for what lay ahead and walked inside.
She came to a dead stop as soon as she entered, and her mouth fell open. Adam was sitting on the sofa with a bewildered expression focused on Caleb, who had plopped down next to him and was chattering about his day.
“I stacked the blocks this high,” Caleb said excitedly, holding his hand in the air to demonstrate.
Adam raised an eyebrow. “Is that right?”
Caleb nodded and then noticed she was in the room. “Hi, Mama!” he exclaimed. “Is this my new pa?”
Adam’s eyes widened with shock and the blood drained out of his face. It would have been funny if it weren’t so tragic. Susannah swallowed hard. She didn’t know what to say and felt her nose burning. She was close to tears and feared that speaking would release them. She knew she had to say something, but she struggled to sort through her emotions. She found it touching to see Caleb with Adam. It was close to the most beautiful thing in the world to behold. Intermixed with those soft feelings was one of sheer terror. How would she ever explain this?
Before she could find any words, Adam cleared his throat and answered Caleb. “Yes, I reckon I am your new pa, kid, and you and me have lots to talk about. But your mama and I need to talk right now, so get yourself back to bed. You can tell me more about your toys when the sun comes up.”
Adam didn’t know how difficult the child was, or else he may have been more forceful in his command. Rather, he instructed him as a man would to a child he was certain would obey him.
Susannah held her breath and willed Caleb to do as he was told the first time, for once. Please, please be good, she said to him silently.
“I can stay up a little longer,” he informed Adam cheerfully. “I’m not sleepy at all.”
Susannah groaned to herself, and Adam glanced at her with a questioning look.
“Caleb,” she said, trying to hold her voice steady. “It’s past your bedtime. Go to your room and I’ll be there shortly to tuck you
in.”
Caleb’s smile faded. His hands balled up into fists and his face reddened, indicating he was moments away from bursting into angry tears. Not now, not tonight, she despaired.
“It’s not fair, Mama! I want to stay up and talk to my new pa. Why do you get to talk to him and I don’t?”
She didn’t know how to proceed. Normally she would wait for him to be through with his tantrum and then try to reason with him, but now that her parenting skills, or lack thereof, were being scrutinized by her new husband, she felt unsure.
It was Adam who took control of the situation. He stood and held out his hand to the angry little boy. “It’s time for bed, Caleb,” he said in a firm voice that made the boy’s angry expression disappear as quickly as it had arrived. He stared up at the big man before slowly placing his chubby little hand into Adam’s large one.
Caleb continued to gape until Adam said in mock impatience, “You’ll have to lead me to your room, kid. I don’t know where it is. Chop-chop.”
Caleb let out a delighted giggle and then tugged Adam toward the back of the cabin. Susannah followed along behind them, a silent witness to the whole exchange.
“This is my bed,” Caleb told Adam proudly.
“It’s a very nice bed,” Adam said, apparently hearing the pride in the child’s voice. He unfolded the quilt and motioned for Caleb to get in. Much to Susannah’s surprise, Caleb obeyed right away. Adam tucked the covers around him and tousled his hair. “Goodnight, kid.” He moved aside and glared at Susannah. If looks could kill, the look he leveled at her would have struck her dead right then and there.
She managed to go through the motions of saying goodnight to her child by habit. She bent and kissed his forehead, then followed Adam, who had already stalked out of the room and was waiting for her just outside of the door.
Chapter Five
Adam closed the bedroom door softly behind her and walked to the sitting room, where he paced and jerked a hand through his hair. “What in the blazes, woman?” His voice was low but filled with heat.
Susannah burst into the tears she’d successfully held back until that moment. “I know I should have told you.”
“You don’t say?” he hissed. “Where’s his father?” He approached her and stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. His glower felt like a slap in the face.
“I don’t know!” she moaned. “He up and left before Caleb was even born. I haven’t seen him since.”
“You didn’t get a divorce? You’re still married?” Adam exclaimed, his voice becoming louder.
“No!” She felt herself swaying on her feet, like she might very well pass out. “His father and I were never married.”
A long silence followed, during which Susannah felt utter despair. She covered her face with her hands, unable to bear looking at him.
She started when he took hold of her wrists and pried her hands away from her face. The touch was gentle despite him being obviously angry. She kept her eyes downcast.
“You should have told me,” he growled. “Anything else I should know about? Do you have a body buried in the cellar? Have you robbed a bank or stolen a horse?”
She worked up the courage to look at him. Staring pleadingly into his flashing eyes, she said, “No, this is the last big secret. I promise. You wouldn’t have married me if I told you. I couldn’t take the chance that you would change your mind if you knew I was a fallen woman.”
“I still would have married you,” he snarled, dropping her wrists.
She didn’t believe him. “I doubt that very much!” she said, feeling a rush of anger. “After you spanked me for being dishonest, here you are lying to me.”
“I guess you’ll never know, will you?” he said tersely. “You didn’t give me the chance to prove what kind of man I am. I’m not the kind to go back on my word. You really are something else.” He shook his head and stormed to the sofa, where he sat down. Silence filled the room until he bellowed, “Now would be a good time for that whiskey!”
Relieved to have an opportunity to please him in a small way, Susannah rushed to the kitchen’s keep, where she pulled out the half-full bottle. She could use some bottled courage herself. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if she shouldn’t drink in front of Adam. After all, it was unladylike and vulgar for a woman to drink a man’s brew, but she shrugged and poured herself a glass. Might as well, since he already thought lowly of her.
She returned to the sitting room and handed Adam his glass, her hand brushing up against his as she did and sending tingles throughout her body. He raised an eyebrow at the glass of whiskey she’d poured for herself. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Mrs. Harrington?” His voice was no longer angry, which filled her with relief. If anything, his tone was lighthearted.
She sat next to him gingerly and was glad when he accepted the nearness of her body without recoiling. “Are you still glad you married me, even after knowing this, Adam?”
Adam swallowed his sip of whiskey. “Yes, Susannah.”
It was just two simple words, but they were spoken honestly and they meant more to her than he would ever know. Good feelings warmed her insides along with the whiskey. She felt the muscles in her face relaxing and easing into a smile. “Thank you.”
“You deserve the spanking of your life for not telling me about your son,” he declared, tossing the rest of the whiskey back. He set the glass on the table next to the sofa with a clink. “If ever a woman deserved a walloping, it would be you right now, but I feel more inclined to explain something to you.”
She took another sip of liquor and fastened her eyes on him. She felt her stomach somersaulting at the prospect of being bare-bottomed over her husband’s lap and feeling his discipline once again. She wasn’t sure if it was more anxiety or arousal that was causing her body’s reaction, but the feeling was strong, whatever it was.
Scrubbing a hand around his face, he said, “I never understood it, why folks look down on a woman who gets in the family way without a husband. Folks never blame the man, and I reckon that’s mighty unfair.”
She swallowed, marveling over his compassionate logic. She hadn’t heard that kind of acceptance from anyone, and instead had been going through her days feeling defensive and constantly judged.
“I thought Caleb’s father loved me, but he left me all alone. The townsfolk have had little to do with me because of my indiscretion. The women don’t like me being around their husbands, and the men don’t want to draw their wives’ ire.”
Adam shook his head. “So you’ve been alone. Has anyone watched out for you and Caleb since your father died?”
“The foreman, Timothy. He keeps the ranch going.”
“Well, that’s something. I reckon I’ll be meeting Timothy tomorrow, when I’ll be going to the range. I hope we get along.”
“I think you will,” Susannah assured him. “But…” She hesitated before continuing. “The plan was for him to stay in charge and for you to just kind of follow his directions and mine.” She looked down at the empty whiskey glass in her hand.
Adam reached out and took her glass away slowly. “I’m not the kind of man you intended on picking, am I?” He set her glass down next to his on the table and studied her, waiting for a response.
She shook her head and answered honestly. “No.”
“You wanted someone weaker-willed, who would be swayed by your feminine charms and do your bidding. That’s how you’re used to getting your way with men.”
Her mouth fell open and she stared at him, shocked at how bluntly he had put it. Of course, that was exactly the setup she’d envisioned, but she didn’t think she’d made it quite that obvious. And it sure made her sound like an awful person.
His mouth quirked up to one side, revealing his dimple. “The look on your face answers my question. It’s all right. You aren’t the kind of woman I intended on marrying either, but here we are. We will make the best of it.”
She felt a sinking in her gut. �
�Not the kind of woman… Because I’m not an innocent?” she inquired.
He nodded. “That, and I didn’t plan to have a child. This isn’t at all what I had in mind.” He swept his hand in the air.
A rush of anger flowed through her. “Well, at least you have a ranch now,” she snarled, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “Sorry you have to put up with me and my son along with it, but seems to me you were in need of a place to hang your hat, and—”
“Hey!” he said sharply, cutting her off. “Hold your tongue.”
She bit her lip and stopped talking, but her anger remained.
“I like children, but I never wanted any because I watched my brother and sister die. Bein’ responsible for the life of a little one… well, it scares me. That’s all.”
“Oh,” she said, feeling instantly regretful.
“Yes, ‘oh’,” he mimicked in a slightly mocking tone. With a raised eyebrow, he added, “You’d best learn to control that temper of yours around me. Your pa should have curbed your impulsive behavior a long time ago. Life would be going better for you if he had.”
His scolding made her feel very young and very naughty. She’d felt that way more than once while in his authoritative presence. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but it was a new experience and she found herself wishing for more praise from him and less disapproval.
“I’m looking forward to getting to know Caleb better tomorrow,” Adam said, his voice gone back to friendly. “I’m sure it will all work out just fine.”
“I know he will love having a man around to talk to,” Susannah said with a hopeful smile.
He smiled back at her, and she watched with a fluttering heart as his eyes slowly changed from light to smoldering. “First things first,” he said, his voice deepening. “Tomorrow is still a fair bit in the future, and I have a naughty wife to attend to tonight.”
Mail-Order Grooms: The Complete Boxed Set Page 4
