"Wow, you’ve got a real active imagination."
Carefully, Jake placed the now-dry prosthesis beside her.
"Believe me, I’m not about to go down that road with you again."
"Well, the whole institution of marriage is boring," Tye said rudely, trying to pretend his words hadn’t stung. She felt as if she was being torn up inside, but the words just kept coming. "I'm not cut out for sitting still or putting down roots."
"Maybe. Maybe not. I guess if you say it enough times you’ll take it as gospel."
"What makes you so smart? I don’t see anyone around here sharing your life. You haven’t done anything about getting married or having kids."
Jake went still, then he dipped his head in acknowledgment he turned and began to walk away. "Point well taken."
Ashamed of herself, Tye wondered for a moment if she had hurt him. With shaking fingers, she reached for the leg, then muttered an almost desperate, "Damn."
Jake looked at her over his shoulder. She couldn't read the expression on his face, but it seemed to be somewhere between indifference and mild curiosity.
"Need something?" he drawled.
Taking a deep breath, Tye realized she could hop all the way to her door or she could ask for Jake’s help. She wasn't sure which bothered her more.
"Yes. It's my socks ― the special socks for my leg. They're all wet. I need some dry ones."
"Where are they?"
"They’re in the bathroom on a towel on the counter. They should be dry. I'll need two pairs."
"I'll be right back." Jake pushed his wet jeans down and stepped out of them. Tye watched them fall to the deck, wondering if they would be ruined by the chlorinated water. Underneath he wore dark blue swimming shorts. Tye stared at the muscular length of his legs, his perfect legs, then hurriedly turned her head away. She felt as if she was on fire.
Jake entered her apartment and came back quickly. "I brought you some dry clothes, too."
Surprised, Tye looked up and saw the assortment of clothes in his big hands. "But . . ."
"Your suitcase was open, so I picked some stuff off the top." Jake dropped the pile in her lap and turned away. "I'll be in the pool." He dove into the water without saying anything more.
Tye sat and watched him for several moments, but he ignored her. Setting her teeth, she lay back on the chaise lounge and wriggled out of the cold, wet jeans, her eyes on Jake as he continued to swim.
Carefully, she pulled on the special sock for her leg, smoothed the wrinkles, then put on the second one. Sitting on the edge of the chaise, she bent her knee slightly and slowly pushed her leg into the socket of the artificial limb. She fastened the straps into place, all the while darting glances at the pool.
As quickly as possible, Tye lay down on the chaise and pulled the dry jeans up over her damp underpants. She whipped off her T-shirt and quickly pulled the dry one over her head. Her breath came fast and her heart pounded hard with nerves. Jake hadn't brought her any regular socks for her other foot, so she left her boots off.
Gathering up her wet clothes, conscious of her underclothes soaking through, Tye walked jerkily toward her apartment door, careful to stay well away from the edge of the pool this time.
The sound of her metal foot on the concrete sounded like an old peg-legged sailor she had seen on television as a kid. Tye wanted to laugh, but a deep down sadness was strangling her. Emotion gripped her throat, and something akin to panic swirled inside, trying to take over. She had to get inside and sit down so she could close her eyes until the feeling passed.
Before the accident she hadn't known about anxiety attacks. They had started while she was in rehabilitation. Apart from relaxing, there wasn't much she could do about them.
Her doctor had suggested some type of antidepressant, but the very idea scared the hell out of Tye, even worse than the attacks themselves. They usually lasted only a minute or so.
Entering the sanctuary of her apartment, Tye was glad to feel the beating in her chest ease. Damn Jake. Damn him and his accuracy about her fears.
§ Chapter Six §
Jake heard the door to Tye's apartment slam. He pushed himself another lap. Back and forth, he swam as hard as he could, another twenty strokes before he stopped to tread water, hearing the sound of his harsh breathing on the evening air.
He felt the anger pouring from him. If Tye expected him to keep his mouth shut, she was in for a surprise. He wasn’t a lovesick kid anymore. Jake closed his eyes, thinking about that kiss in the pool. It had been a damn fool thing to do. Why had he done it? It had just seemed so right at the time. Now, it kept coming into his thoughts, making him want more.
Maybe he should've kept his mouth shut, but Tye had gotten her licks in, too, and they’d felt like salt in a wound. Jake gritted his teeth. She was getting under his skin and he didn’t like it.
For all the women he had in his life, including his six sisters, Jake felt right now he didn't know squat about the gender. Tye had acted as if she thought he was a peeping Tom who wanted to sneak a peek at her leg. Why couldn’t she see he was helping her? He knew what an atrophied stump looked like.
Jake hadn’t wanted to see her leg. He had told her so, but he had lied. He had looked. He had seen the leg briefly when she’d closed her eyes. He had felt an aching twist of pain and fear ― her fear mixed with his own. His mind dwelled on the pain she had gone through. He didn’t want to think of the emotional stress she still obviously suffered.
Jake had a feeling he could tell her till he was blue in the face that her leg didn't matter to him, but he’d be wasting his breath. Perhaps he’d be lying too. He didn’t want it to matter, but it did. It was gone; that was a fact. At least the doctors had done a better job on Tye than they had with his father. Viewing it for the first time made it all very real. Knowledge was one thing, seeing was another.
Tye had made up her mind that it made her deficient in some way. She was doing her best to pick up the pieces and resume her life. That took courage and persistence. No easy task for a woman hell-bent on relying only on herself.
Jake knew this was something Tye had to resolve on her own. But the worst thing she could do was shut herself away from the very people who might help her, family and friends. Maybe in helping Tye, Jake could rid himself of the fascination still pulling at him. It was obvious she didn't think she needed anyone in her life. She had made it clear ten years ago she didn’t need him. This time around Jake wasn’t going to be a stop along the way.
He dove into the water and pushed himself harder, but the memories howled after him. At no time could he let himself forget he wanted her to get well and leave.
#
The next day, Ben showed up on her doorstep. Spotting her brother through her living room window, Tye opened the door with a squeal of delight and threw herself into his arms. Ben promptly dropped the bouquet of flowers he held and caught her in a tight bear hug.
"Ben, you’re back!"
"Glad to see you, too," he said with a big smile. "You look like your old self," he added approvingly, stepping back.
"I'm settling in, Ben."
He squatted to retrieve the flowers he had dropped. "I’m glad you’re getting along okay out here."
"I like it here," Tye admitted. "I’ll miss it when I find another place."
"Actually, I haven’t had much luck in finding anything yet. I was planning on tackling that next week."
"I’m looking, too. I don’t want to hold Jake up any longer than necessary." Tye stepped back and invited Ben into the house. "Come on, let me show you the place."
Ben held the flowers out to her and this time Tye took them. Lifting them to her nose, she drew in a deep breath.
"So Jake told you his plans for the apartment?" Ben asked.
Startled, Tye looked askance at her brother. "What are you talking about?" A sinking feeling began in her stomach.
"Never mind," Ben said, too quickly.
"Ben. Tell me what you’re tal
king about."
He grimaced. "I thought you knew. Jake’s going to be renovating the house. He’s making a combination showroom and workroom out of the area where you’re living, since it’s got the best lighting in the entire house. Don’t worry, though, he said a few month’s delay wouldn’t matter, since nothing’s been finalized with the contractor."
Tye gripped the bouquet to her chest. "He never said anything. Is that why he’s got boxes all over his house?"
"Well, he’s been in the middle of some general clearing out, what with Amy moving."
"Is the workroom going to be for his carvings?"
"So you know about that? Yes. He’s gotten a lot of interest in the last few years, and with the elk and moose antlers he’s carving now, he needs more display room." Ben was looking at her with a worried frown.
Tye pasted a smile on her face. "Maybe there’s other plans I’m messing up that I don’t know about." She felt pain jab at her heart. She might as well be a bulldozer wreaking havoc.
"I don’t know of any other plans, Tye. You’ll have to ask Jake."
"I intend to." With determination, she grabbed Ben’s arm. "Let me show you my place.
Ben pulled her back around. "We can do that later, Tye. I have a surprise that has first priority."
Tye looked at her brother, narrowing her gaze. Placing the bouquet on a small table, she asked, "What kind of surprise?"
"Don't look so suspicious. Come outside," was all he said.
Once outside, Tye looked toward the driveway. She caught her breath and gave Ben a disbelieving look. She moved carefully down the ramp toward his truck and the familiar fire-engine-red horse trailer hitched behind. Her horse trailer.
"Jake figured right about now you'd be missing your babies," Ben said, following her to the back gate of the trailer. "So I stopped at Mom's place first and brought you ―" the horse inside the trailer whinnied loudly.
"― Pongo," Tye finished excitedly, immediately recognizing her Paint's voice. As Tye moved toward the back of the trailer, steel shoes moved restlessly on the wooden flooring. Tye unlatched the back gate with trembling fingers. She wanted to cry and run away at the same time. It had been an eternity since she had ridden.
"Pongo!" she called. "Hello there, you black beauty." Indescribable joy filled her as she looked through the metal slats and saw Pongo's wide black hindquarters with their splash of white. She swallowed the tightness in her throat, emotion very close to the surface. She almost couldn’t control the urge to cry. Ben had caught her totally off guard. Tye blinked rapidly as she swung the back door open.
"Here, let me bring him out." Ben moved past her and pulled the quick-release knot on the lead line where he had tied the horse to the front trailer rail.
Tye held the door open as Ben backed Pongo down the ramp. Once on the driveway, Pongo turned toward her and softly rumbled a greeting. Immediately, she slung an arm over her gelding's neck and buried her face in his smooth black coat. Tye inhaled deeply the lingering smell of hay and the warm scent of horse. How had she stayed away from him so long?
"You remembered me, Pongo. I've all but ignored you and you forgive me, don't you?" Tye whispered into his neck, stretching her arm to stroke lovingly under his jaw.
"I see you didn't come alone, Ben," Jake said from behind Tye. Tye didn't move her arm from her horse's neck, but turned her head to look at him. Some of her excitement dimmed.
"Why did you do it, Jake?" She felt her hackles rise, disrupting her previously excited mood.
"I think you need him."
"Since when do you know what I need?" she blurted, unable to still her tongue. All these years Jake had never questioned her decision to leave, yet now he suddenly knew what she needed! Tye looked away from Jake as Pongo nickered softly, standing perfectly still as she leaned her weight against him.
For a moment a wild urge took hold of Tye. She wanted to jump on his back and ride off. There was a small hedge at the end of the drive. Pongo loved to jump; he could clear the hedge with room to spare. Tye grabbed a handful of black mane and her gaze met Jake's. She hesitated, her fingers gripping the long hair tightly. Fear sliced into her.
If circumstances had been different, that's what she would have done. It's what she had done countless times in the past ― jumped on a horse's back when the urge struck her. She had been riding bareback since she was four years old.
Now, things were different. Uncertainty stabbed through her, attacking her confidence in her riding skills. With Ben and Jake as witnesses, she could do nothing but stand beside Pongo. Tye loosened her grip on the gelding's mane and smoothed the hair with shaking fingers. Apprehension she didn’t want to acknowledge twisted through her. She could no longer measure up to her own standards. What was happening to her?
When she rode her beauty, she’d have to be by herself. If she was going to humiliate herself, she wanted no witnesses. Still, the urge to run was not easily suppressed, and Tye fought an inner battle for several more moments.
Jake, as if guessing her thoughts, gave voice to the desire riding her so hard. "You look like you want to jump on Pongo. Come on, I'll give you a leg up."
"No!" she said sharply. Tye took a jerky step away from Jake. "No." She lowered her voice. "Pongo hates to be trailered and I want to give him time to settle down. I'll take him over to the barn. He might as well get introduced to Tibald right away, since Tibald's top horse in the pecking order here." Tye knew she was talking too fast, but she felt mortified at her cowardice. She put her shoulders back, trying not to let dejection override her initial joy.
Tye saw the stiffness on Jake’s face and felt ashamed of her churlishness. "Thank you," she muttered, still stinging over his interference. She was acting illogically, but it was all she could manage.
Pulling the lead line from her brother's hand, Tye walked toward the stables with Pongo following behind. When she was several feet away, Tye turned back to her brother and flashed him a bright smile.
"Thanks for bringing him, Ben."
"It was Jake’s idea," Ben repeated, narrowing his eyes. "I agree with him that it’s a good idea. You could be a little more gracious," he chided.
Tye shrugged a shoulder, hating the feeling that her life was moving beyond her control. She looked up at Jake and met his gaze. Some of the tension eased from her body. "Ben’s right. I’m sorry. I love having him here."
"There's plenty of room," Jake said flatly. He turned to Ben. "I told Tye her horses were welcome if she wanted to move them out here."
When she moved out of earshot, Ben said, "I apologize if that’s how Tye’s been acting toward you. I’ve never seen her so disagreeable, to say the least."
"We seem to hit the wrong chords with each other."
"Also, I thought Tye knew about your plans for the house. I let it out of the bag."
"A few months makes no difference. I’ve converted a big box stall in the barn as a work area."
"It must be kind of crowded with all your tools." Ben’s gaze strayed to his sister, who’d stopped to give her horse another hug. "So you and Tye aren’t hitting it off so good?"
"Sometimes yes, sometimes no."
Understanding lit Ben's face. "You don't have to tell me, I know how difficult she can be."
"Well, this time it’s my fault. I probably stuck my nose where it didn't belong when I had you bring the horse. I still think it'll do her good to have Pongo to fuss over. Maybe she'll start riding."
Ben nodded his head slowly. "You might be right. Sometimes Tye needs time to cool off and think things through. I hope she doesn't get it in her head to go too fast and hurt herself. Not that I dare tell her that. Mom and I have tried to steer her thoughts away from rodeo, but she's got her mind set on it. Have you tried to discourage her from going back to the circuit, Jake?"
Jake laughed, feeling hollow inside. "Me talk Tye out of rodeo? That’s a joke in itself. No, our disagreements are nothing like that. She's let me know in no uncertain terms she doesn't want
me looking out for her in any manner." The words cost Jake, pulling at that empty spot deep down inside him. He didn’t want to be affected by anything Tye said, but it bothered him nonetheless.
Ben looked at his friend speculatively. "Tye doesn't take kindly to any curb on her independence. It must be eating the hell out of her to have to go easy. I hope you’re right that having Pongo here will make her happy. I want my sister back."
"I haven't got a clue, Ben, what makes your sister happy." At one time Jake had thought he knew. He’d been wrong. He reminded himself it didn’t matter in any case.
"She likes it here, but we all knew up front it was only temporary. I apologize, Jake, for tying you up like this. I’ll keep looking for another place."
Jake didn’t answer. He was watching Tye, and that tightness in his throat wouldn’t ease up. His head was telling him not to let her leave again ― that she wasn’t ready to be on her own. But Tye had always been independent. She hadn’t listened to him the last time he had begged her to stay. He’d never beg her again.
§ Chapter Seven §
Tye introduced Pongo to the horses in the large pasture. After the first initial kicking and squealing, the horses went back to grazing and ignored each other.
As she walked back toward the house, Tye noticed cars in the driveway. Apparently Jake's football enthusiasts had arrived while she was occupied at the barn. The air carried the tantalizing scent of barbecue, making her mouth water, reminding her she hadn’t eaten. Nevertheless, Tye skirted the pool and headed for the door of her apartment. She was curious about Jake's friends, but she wouldn’t intrude, even if Jake had extended an open invitation. Tye knew it was probably unreasonable, since she was happy to have Pongo here, but she resented Jake taking the decision into his own hands.
"Hey, hang on a minute!" a female voice called out.
With her hand on the door latch, Tye turned to see a slim girl in her late teens hailing her. She wore tight jeans and a bright pink halter top. The girl vaulted the steps to the pool area easily. Tye felt a brief envy. At one time, she had taken such effortless movements for granted.
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 6
