Tye hugged her arms around herself, her mind filled with lost dreams.
She hadn’t felt anything but a passing interest in other men since Jake. How could she, when a part of her always loved him?
Trying to ease the worry and old pain, Tye relaxed each muscle and concentrated on her breathing. She couldn’t get Jake’s kisses out of her mind. What did he think about them? It was no big deal: they were old friends, at least that’s what she told herself. But she was burning up inside, remembering the feel of Jake’s mouth on hers. She wanted more than kisses.
With a groan, Tye told herself such dangerous thoughts didn't bear thinking about. She'd get sidetracked. It was best to remember she had no home, that she was a roamer. She didn't belong here; she’d just taken a slight detour. Strangely, that empty stretch of rodeo road didn’t have quite the appeal it used to. The glory of rodeo palled when all you came home to were your horse and buckles.
She didn't know what lay ahead, but she was a fighter. Maybe she should start by returning her friends’ calls. Tye wondered if it was time to reconnect with her past.
She looked at her leg, the feelings of uncertainty insidious. It had healed fine, but inside herself she knew there remained a gaping emptiness, a fear that wouldn’t let go. Tye still felt as if she was in a dark tunnel. Would she ever reach the end? Would her life feel complete if she could return to rodeo?
She needed to recharge. Perhaps bringing her friends back into her life would fill that empty spot.
A party would liven things up and help her get back in the groove of things. Then life could resume some normalcy. Tye knew there was no going back, no fixing the life she had thrown away ten years ago. But how she wished time could be turned back! She wanted a second chance with Jake.
§ Chapter Nine §
Tye stood in the doorway of her apartment and watched Jake's black pickup truck disappear down the driveway. She rubbed her damp palms together. Her hands shook slightly. The time of reckoning, so to speak, had arrived. She had wakened early this morning and deliberately planned the day right down to the last moment of daylight.
That thought gave her a moment's pause. She had never planned anything to the minute in her life. She had always acted impulsively, not worrying about consequences or ramifications.
With a disgusted grunt at her own meandering, Tye walked to the door with determination. Jake was off to work. The ranch was her playground, and she intended to play.
In the small mirror beside the front door she caught sight of her own reflection and saluted herself. "Welcome back, Tye Jenkins, it's been awhile."
First stop: the barns. Today she would climb on board her baby, Pongo. She hadn't ridden in three months. Luckily, Ben had brought her favorite equine. Of her four horses, Pongo had the most patient and gentle nature. He could race and raise hell with the rest of them, but he would stand for hours, if that's what was asked of him. Only last year at the county fair he had been the center of attention, patiently allowing kids of all ages to crawl over, under and around him. Nothing riled him.
With a deep and quivering breath, Tye feared that's what she might need. Back to square one, as if she were learning how to ride all over again. Pushing aside the self-doubt before it could grip her, she left the house. She would allow only positive, upbeat thoughts today.
As she walked around the pool she looked longingly at its clear depths. Already the day held promise of being a warm one. Tye relished the thought of sliding into those refreshing depths after her ride. Lightly, she said, "I've got a date with you later."
She made her way to the barn, trying to walk without feeling awkward and ungainly. Her therapist had told her it might take time to move naturally and without effort, but she felt impatient with how slowly things seemed to be progressing. Some days went along fine, other days did not. She never knew when her knee would suddenly give way and she would fall down. It happened less frequently than in the beginning, but now and again she was caught off guard.
By the time she visited her doctor in two weeks, she wanted to be able to tell him she was well on her way to reclaiming her life.
Entering the barn, Tye found the stalls were empty. Jake must have fed the horses, hers included, and put them out in the pasture.
Standing at the edge of the pasture, Tye leaned against the wooden rail and whistled for Pongo. She would talk to Jake. She didn't expect him to take care of her horse as well as his own. For the short time she would be here she intended to pull her own weight.
Pongo whinnied low and cantered toward her. Tibald and the other two horses watched, but stayed where they were.
Tye unhooked the chain and went through the gate. Pongo stood patiently while she slipped the leather halter over his ears and adjusted the brass buckle.
Tye pulled several carrots from her back pocket. While Pongo munched them, she looked him in the eye. "Well, buddy, this is an experiment of sorts. You're going to have to be patient with me. Do you remember the first time we went riding when my ankle was broken a couple years back?" She grimaced as he dipped his head as if in understanding. "Well, keep that sloppy performance in mind."
Tye fancied Pongo was paying attention. "It's going to be a bit like that time, only probably worse. So if I kick you in the ribs or thump you on the butt, just be your usual good natured self and put up with it. I promise you some extra carrots." Pongo's ears twitched forward. "Carrots. The magic word. I knew you'd relate to that."
Tye led him into the barn. She had noticed earlier the cross ties hanging from the solid beams in the center of the barn aisle. She snapped the ties on either side of Pongo's halter to hold him in place.
Tye briskly rubbed the brush over Pongo's back and across his ribs, her mouth curving as she remembered the countless times she had ridden his wide barrel of a back without a saddle.
"No bareback riding today, my beauty. We’ll save that for another time."
Tye placed her cherry-red saddle pad and then her roping saddle on his back. Once the girth was tightened, she unsnapped the cross ties and slipped the bridle over his ears.
"Come on, old boy, here we go."
Taking a fortifying breath, Tye led him outside. It was now or never. She beat back the fear that she wouldn’t measure up, and placed her left foot in the wide leather stirrup.
Tye swung herself onto Pongo's back and settled in her familiar comfortable saddle. She had a problem picking up the right stirrup because she couldn’t angle the prosthetic foot. Impatiently, she leaned down and pushed her boot into the stirrup leather with her hand.
"Don't give up," she muttered, refusing to be daunted. "Let's walk, buddy. Just remember, if I fly past your head, don't let it bother you."
They walked along a dirt path that skirted the fenced pasture. It looked as if it went on forever through the short, stubby grass.
"God, I have missed this." Tye felt her confidence rise, and urged Pongo into a trot over the uneven ground. Almost immediately her body listed to one side. She stiffened instinctively and Pongo slowed to a walk. Tye wiped the moisture from her forehead. Leaning down again, she shoved her boot back into the stirrup. Damn! The last time she’d had a problem keeping her feet in the stirrups she’d been four years old. She could still hear her daddy yell, "Tye girl, put your weight in your heels!"
Now she knew for sure. She needed to work on the basics of riding. Her balance wasn't right.
Tye reined Pongo around, heading back toward the barn. God knows what would happen if she tried a lope or a run.
"I’d probably end up eating dirt," she muttered. Stubbornly, Tye urged Pongo into a trot once more, trying to put more downward weight into her prosthesis.
The second time went better. At least her foot didn’t slip out of the stirrup. But with mounting frustration, Tye realized she was tilting to one side.
She left the path and trotted over a bare, sandy area. She practiced circles to the right, then the left, determined to find her point of balance. Gritting her teeth
, she righted herself as she again slipped to the side. She couldn't feel her foot, so unless she kept looking down, she wouldn't know if it had fallen out of the stirrup.
The sun had grown warmer while they were out in the field. Tye glanced at her watch. Ten o'clock. Sweat ran from her hair, dripping down into her eyes. Impatiently, she wiped it away with an arm. Pongo was likewise streaked with sweat along his neck and shoulders.
"Okay, buddy boy, you know I've never been patient. Let's try one more. Just for the hell of it we'll do a short run. If I fall, I fall." Tye gently nudged the horse with her left heel. Pongo's ears perked forward and his front end lifted as his back legs settled into his rocking-chair-smooth lope.
As they moved across the ground, the warm breeze dried the moisture on Tye's face and neck. She felt exhilarated and confident. They had done it!
She circled and trotted past the barn. To her surprise out of the corner of her eye she saw Jake standing in the doorway. Something in her faltered, hesitated. Mentally squaring her shoulders, Tye said to the horse, "One figure eight, Pongo. We've done it hundreds of times." The horse never hesitated. Smoothly, they circled to the left. When it came time to circle to the right, Tye abandoned leg aids and used neck-reining alone, placing the reins flat across his mane. Pongo responded beautifully. Triumph filled Tye like sweet success. Grinning, she reined Pongo over to the barn where Jake stood.
"Looked pretty good from where I'm standing," he said encouragingly. He shaded his eyes with one hand and stared up at her. Tye could see the tiny lines beside his eyes and read the pleasure on his face.
"Thanks." she felt uncharacteristically shy, her insides tightening in reaction to his nearness. Into her mind flashed the remembrance of his body against hers. "My trot's a little rough ― my balance is off."
"I was watching. I thought you did great for the first time out. Maybe if you used a breakaway strap on the stirrup leather to keep the boot in position ―"
Tye clenched her jaw, her fingers tightening on the leather reins. "I’ve been riding long enough to know how to keep my feet in the stirrups. I can do it without straps."
"All I'm saying is if you use a strap until you figure out your balance, it would be one less thing to worry about."
Freeing her boots from the stirrups Tye let her legs hang down. "Do I look worried, Jake? I’m just a little rusty. I don't need straps. I said I would ride again and I'll do it my way."
Tye turned Pongo and urged him into a trot, away from Jake. She blinked hard, telling herself the glare of the sun combined with some dust had filmed her eyes with moisture.
What did Jake know, anyway? He rode for fun. He’d never been interested in entering a riding competition in his life. If you wanted to win in rodeo, you had to be better than the competition. How would he know if she was doing it right or wrong? Tye resented the fact that he was supposed to be at work, yet was here intruding on her private time.
Having worked herself into an irate frame of mind, she was determined to find her center of balance at the trot. She and Pongo did circles, serpentines and figure eights. Finally, feeling satisfied and knowing they had both done enough in the rising heat, Tye stopped the horse in front of the barn. She didn't see Jake anywhere. She swiped the sweat from her forehead, annoyed that he hadn’t stuck around to see what she’d accomplished.
"The second half of that went much better, Pongo." Gripping the saddle horn in case her leg buckled, Tye threw her leg over Pongo's hindquarters and dropped to the ground. Quickly, she unfastened the girth and placed it on top of the saddle. "I think I saw a hose somewhere. I'll give you a cool reward for that wonderful ride."
Tying Pongo to the rail with baling twine, Tye pulled the saddle from his back and turned to carry it inside.
Jake was suddenly behind her, making her catch her breath in surprise. "What are you doing?" she gasped, her glance straying to his mouth. He stood very close. A fluttering began in Tye’s stomach, her stray thoughts heating her cheeks. Would Jake kiss her again? Maybe she should kiss him. Tye felt an unfamiliar softness creep over her.
"I’ll take that." Jake reached for the saddle.
Almost instinctively, Tye jerked it back. "I can handle this myself." She shook her head in exasperation and turned away from him. Didn’t Jake know she could take care of this on her own?
#
Jake, seeing the residue of temper in Tye’s eyes, let out a laugh. "Lighten up, Tye. Before you get a notion to tear into me, let me make it clear I've got other things to do then follow you around." He took a step back. "I'm working on a commission piece, and my workbench is out here. I'll take the saddle while you hose him down." Jake pulled the saddle from her hands before she could protest again. He stared at her, daring her to argue.
A frown appeared between her brows. "I'm not trying to be difficult, Jake, but it’s been frustrating, having to start riding all over again. Besides, I'm used to doing things on my own."
Jake nodded in agreement. "Yeah, so what? Is there a rule somewhere that says you can’t have help once in a while? If you’d told me you were going to ride I would have stuck around earlier."
"The last thing I need is an audience," she muttered, slapping the dust from her jeans.
Amused, Jake lifted a brow. "Do you know something? I think you just like to jump on anything I say. I was going to suggest we take a ride together."
She stopped slapping at her jeans and straightened. "Ride together?" She made it sound like a foreign notion.
"Why not, if you feel like having company sometimes? I don’t ride as much as I used to. But I have these horses here and all they do is eat."
Tye lowered her gaze and bit her lip. "Oh."
Jake carried the saddle into the barn and dropped it on the saddle tree. When he walked back outside he handed her the hose. As she began to hose down the horse, Jake gave her a hard stare. "Why in hell are you so ready to jump down my throat? If everything I say rubs you wrong I'll make sure I stay out of your way." Exasperated, he spun around and walked away from her. It was either that or kiss her, and she didn't look like she was in the kissing mood. Not like last night, when she’d been all soft, warm and willing. He muttered under his breath.
"I guess it’s my natural reaction when someone tries to tell me what to do," Tye called after him. "Daddy always said I had a problem with authority figures."
Jake threw a glance over his shoulder at her. She stood with one hand on her hip, the hose in the other hand. "Do you see me as an authority figure?" he asked incredulously.
Tye looked startled, then a wash of color flooded her face. Watching her with interest, Jake wondered what her thoughts were.
"I’ve never seen you in that light," she said in a husky voice. Tye bent over and directed the hose through her hair. "Mmm, this water is icy. It feels good."
Jake felt his stomach muscles tighten. Was she doing it deliberately? Damn! Tye still had the power to excite him.
"Jake." She had pushed her hair back and now it dripped onto her shoulders, soaking into the white fabric. "I'm sorry. I would like to go riding with you sometime, if ― if you've got time, that is," she stammered. "I just feel really inadequate right now, and I'm taking offense at every gesture. It stinks to have been riding all these years only to find out I have to relearn it. I apologize for laying that on you. I'll try to keep my temper under control."
Jake took her apology at face value, pretending he didn't see the trembling of her lips. He tried to ignore the heat pooling in his stomach as he stared at her. She looked damned vulnerable, but he knew she wouldn't welcome him saying that. He wanted nothing more than to step close to her and pull her into his arms. Man, that would feel great, and he’d probably get a punch in the gut for it. Jake had the notion it would be worth it.
"There's no reason you should feel inadequate, Tye. You’ve always been a good rider. Maybe I'm easily impressed, but that last bit of riding you did without your stirrups wasn’t bad. In time, you'll get your brash nerve and confi
dence back. When that happens," he drawled, "look out." Jake knew that, at that point she’d leave.
As if she took pleasure in his compliment, Tye smiled tremulously. Jake let his gaze hold hers steadily until she looked away.
"I appreciate you taking care of Pongo, Jake, but I want to help out with the feeding. I can't let you take that on. Also, I need to work out a board fee for keeping him here. It’ll be extra cash, and surely everyone could use extra cash."
Jake saw the determined line of her jaw, and once again her eyes seemed to challenge him. He remembered that was a lure he had thrown out that first night to keep her here. He’d said he was strapped for cash.
Slowly, he nodded his head. "Sure," he said easily. "If you want, you can feed the horses at night. I'll take care of the morning feeding. As far as the board, we'll work something out."
"Good." Some of the tension seemed to ease from her. Jake knew she had been ready for a fight, but he was determined to avert it. It was no sweat off his back, feeding one more horse, but he could understand her need to pay her own way.
"I was surprised to see you back so soon," Tye said slowly, spraying the water over the horse’s back. "I thought you’d left for work."
Jake looked away from her vibrant face, gazing instead at the distant, orange-brown hills. "I'm taking some time off work this week. I have a few carvings that need to be completed." He began to think that if she didn't take those blue eyes off him, he was going to do something stupid, like grab her. He hoped Tye didn't have an inkling as to his thoughts. He wanted to pull her against him and kiss the hell out of her. He wanted their closeness of last night all over again. Only more. They could make love in the straw.
Impatient with himself, knowing it was years too late, he grabbed a plastic scraper and started removing the water and sweat from Pongo.
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 9
