Ronnie swallowed.
Pay him back for what? would be Charlie’s first question. Funny, but she didn’t even have an answer. Not anymore. Not after months of lying in Charlie’s arms every night and experiencing for the first time what it truly meant to be loved by a man.
She’d acted on a stupid whim.
And now she was in deep shit.
With Gabe. But more importantly, with Charlie.
Ronnie grabbed the champagne bottle from the ice bucket. She didn’t even flinch when the cork made a loud pop. She reached for a glass from the table and filled it all the way to the brim. But she couldn’t keep her hand from shaking slightly as she brought the glass to her suddenly parched lips.
In typical hell-bent fashion, she’d screwed up. Only this time, she had everything to lose.
All because of blind ambition that made no sense whatsoever when she thought about it. Merging their two ranches had been a ridiculous idea from the start. Gabe would never leave the Crested-C any more than she would move off her land. The Flying-K meant everything to her. It was where she was born and the Flying-K was where she intended to die.
Gabe had never been the right man for her.
She needed a drifter like Charlie.
A man with no ties to pull him anywhere else.
Pouring another glass of champagne, Ronnie took a long sip as she carefully weighed her options. She could stay and apologize—definitely not her strong point. Or she could leave before Gabe got home and tell Charlie Sara simply got the wrong idea when she stopped by.
So? Why in the hell did you stop by? would be Charlie’s next question. And that brought her right back to where she started. There simply wasn’t any excuse that would ever be good enough to justify what she’d done.
Ronnie poured her third glass of champagne.
She might as well get drunk.
Drunk was the only state in which she could even imagine apologizing to Gabe.
“LOOKS LIKE you’ve got company, boss,” Slim said as they topped the ridge overlooking the house.
Gabe swore at the sight of the black Suburban. He nudged his spurs into Bruiser’s sides, forcing the big steed into a full gallop. A few minutes later he pulled Bruiser to a stop with a quick jerk of the reins, Slim on his horse right beside them. Gabe hopped off Bruiser, tossed Slim the reins and headed for the kitchen door.
He’d allowed himself to believe Ronnie had given up on her threat to cause him trouble. But now Gabe cursed himself for being that dense. If Sara found out Ronnie had shown up on their doorstep…
Gabe stormed into the kitchen and wasted no time yelling Ronnie’s name.
“In here.”
He found her sitting at his dining room table, pouring champagne into one of his mother’s long-stemmed crystal glasses. She smiled and held her glass up in a toast.
“What in the hell are you doing here?”
Her smile instantly evaporated.
Gabe glanced around the dining room for the first time. The elaborately set table had Sara’s name written all over it. Two place settings. The candles. The champagne Ronnie was drinking.
He took a threatening step in her direction. “What have you done, Ronnie? Tell me now.”
“I haven’t done anything,” she said, standing to face him. But the fear in her eyes called her a liar.
“Where’s Sara?” Gabe demanded. “Answer me, dammit!”
“To hell with Sara!”
She tossed her champagne in Gabe’s face, then threw her glass against the wall.
“Can I help it if that silly bitch you married got the wrong impression?” she yelled. “I only came by to ask you a favor. She’s the one who stormed out of here, mumbling something about being stupid.”
Gabe lost it.
He grabbed Ronnie by the arm so fast she stumbled, losing her balance. He pulled her to her feet, then dragged Ronnie across the dining room and into the kitchen. When they reached the door, Gabe opened the door and pushed Ronnie through it.
“If you ever come near Sara again,” Gabe warned, “I won’t be responsible for what I do. And that isn’t a threat, Ronnie. That’s a promise.”
“You go straight to hell, Gabe Coulter. Do you hear me? Straight to hell.”
Gabe slammed the door in her face.
He’d never been so angry.
Gabe also had the sickening feeling Ronnie wouldn’t be the only female giving him those same directions before the night was over.
“YES, SARA’S HERE, Gabe,” Betsy said into the phone. “But maybe it would be better if you wait and come over tomorrow.” She sent an apologetic look in Sara’s direction. “I’m sorry, Sara. He hung up on me. I’m sure that means Gabe is on his way over here now.”
“It’s okay, Betsy,” Sara said with a sigh. “The sooner we get things settled, the better it will be for all of us.”
Betsy shook her head sadly. “You’re really scaring me. You’re much too calm about this whole thing. I can’t imagine how I’d be reacting if Ronnie showed up at my house when she thought I wasn’t home.”
Sara didn’t answer. But she was relieved her demeanor was calm and collected on the outside. She’d had a lifetime of hiding her true feelings. She was a master at it. And she needed to appear in control when Gabe arrived.
How funny that a visit from Ronnie Kincaid had finally opened Sara’s eyes. Her only hope now was that Gabe would listen to what she had to say and understand why she’d left the ranch instead of asking Ronnie to leave.
“I’ll go up and check on the boys and give you and Gabe some privacy,” Betsy said when the sound of a vehicle in the Grahams’ driveway snapped Sara from her thoughts.
Sara thanked her then headed for the door. She opened it the minute Gabe stepped foot on the porch.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked.
Sara nodded.
He reached out and pulled her to him in a full embrace. She refused to sink into him, to let his strength soothe her. Eventually he released her.
“We need to talk.”
He let out a long sigh, but he followed her into the living room. Sara took a seat on the sofa, while Gabe remained standing.
He raked a hand through his hair, looking at her with a worried expression on his face. “I can only guess what happened before I got home,” he said. “But you have to believe me, Sara. I didn’t invite Ronnie to the ranch tonight.”
“Give me a little credit, Gabe,” Sara told him. “I know you didn’t invite Ronnie. I know you wouldn’t do that.”
He sat beside her, obviously puzzled. “Then I don’t understand. If you knew I didn’t invite her, why didn’t you tell Ronnie to leave?”
Sara prayed he would understand. “I didn’t have the right to ask her to leave.”
Gabe frowned. “Of course you did. It’s your house.”
Sara shook her head. “No, Gabe. The house belongs to you and Ben. Just like the ranch belongs to you and Ben. Gabe Coulter and Ben Coulter, the two owners of the Crested-C.”
He looked even more confused.
And Sara couldn’t blame him.
She knew she was rambling. She kept grasping for the right words to explain. But sitting this close to Gabe was distracting. She stood and walked away. And when she turned around, Sara crossed her arms, hugging herself tightly as she gathered the courage to say everything she needed to say.
“You know I’ve been holding back, Gabe. But I honestly didn’t know why I wouldn’t move into your bedroom permanently until Ronnie walked through the door tonight. The minute I couldn’t ask her to leave, I knew. As much as I’ve tried to convince myself it doesn’t matter how we got together, it does. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if you truly love me, or if you just settled for loving me because it was best for Ben.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “What am I supposed to say to that, Sara? I can’t change how we got together. And neither can you.”
“Say we can start over,” Sara told him.
<
br /> Hope flashed across his face.
Then Sara said, “Have the marriage annulled like you promised.”
The hope was replaced by anger. But Sara knew she couldn’t back down now.
“And that’s your idea of starting over?” he mocked. “By putting an end to our marriage?”
“Our fake marriage, Gabe,” Sara reminded him. “I want the real thing. And if you decide to ask me to marry you again, I want you to ask me for one reason and one reason only. Because you love me. Not to fulfill your obligation to Ben.”
He kept staring at her as if she were crazy. She clenched her fists to stop their trembling.
“I’d never take Ben away from Redstone, Gabe,” Sara said softly. “I wouldn’t do that to Ben or to you. But I think Ben and I should move into town and give you some time to think things over and decide what you really want.”
He frowned. “I already know what I want. Do you?”
Sara nodded. “I told you. I want to start over.”
“Are you kidding me? You go your way? I’ll go mine? And if we happen to meet up again along the way, you’ll be satisfied we were meant to be together?” His laugh was bitter. “Why don’t you just come out and say what you really mean, Sara? You’re not sure you love me.”
“That isn’t true,” Sara protested. “I do love you. I love you with all my heart. But I want it all, Gabe. I want to be wooed first, like any other woman. And when you propose, I want you to do it because you can’t live without me. I want a real wedding, not a fake one. I want to wear your mother’s wedding dress. I want to ride up the driveway to the Crested-C in a horse-drawn carriage filled with roses. And I want the whole town standing on the front lawn when you tell the world I’m the one you want for the rest of your life.”
When he kept staring at her, Sara said, “I’m sorry. I want to be wanted for me, for who I am. I want a real marriage. Not a marriage of convenience.”
“A marriage of convenience?” He laughed again. “Don’t you have that backward? If anything, this has been a marriage of inconvenience for both of us. I wasn’t ready for a wife. And you weren’t looking for a husband. But somehow through all the insanity we still managed to fall in love. And if that isn’t good enough for you, Sara, then I’m the one who’s sorry.”
He stood, and the look on his face said she’d hurt him deeply.
“I’ve tried to prove I love you every way I know how. But if you expect me to jump through hoops like some trained poodle, you’ve picked yourself the wrong damn cowboy.”
“Obviously, I have,” Sara snipped. She couldn’t help it, she didn’t like his tone. And she sure didn’t care for his superior attitude.
“So?” he said. “Where does that leave us?”
He kept staring at her.
Sara kept holding his gaze.
“If you aren’t willing to start over,” Sara said, “I guess that leaves me no choice but to move to Redstone.”
“Dammit! I didn’t say I wasn’t willing to start over.”
“As long as we start over on your non-poodle terms, you mean?”
“Now you’re twisting my words around,” he accused.
“Is it really too much to ask, Gabe? Can you really not understand why the relationship we have now isn’t going to work for me long-term?”
“Stop beating around the bush, Sara. Is it over between us, or isn’t it?”
Sara wasn’t ready to give up. “We started out trying to do what was best for Ben, Gabe. All I want is to do what’s best for us now.”
“What’s best for all of us is for you to go upstairs and get Ben and come home with me,” Gabe shouted.
Lord, that was the one thing she couldn’t do.
“No,” she said. “I’ve told you how I feel. If you can’t understand that, then Ben and I will move.”
She’d never seen him so angry.
Not even at the Founder’s Day kissing booth.
“Then you do what you have to do, Sara,” he said, his jaw set and rigid. “And I’ll start the divorce proceedings. But it isn’t fair to spoil Ben’s Christmas. At least stay at the ranch until Christmas is over.”
It isn’t fair to spoil Ben’s Christmas.
His words hit Sara with the force of a tidal wave.
She’d gambled that Gabe loved her—and she’d lost.
It had been all about Ben in the beginning.
It was still all about Ben now.
She was standing here, pouring her heart out, and begging him to save their relationship. And all Gabe cared about was not spoiling Ben’s Christmas.
But damn if she’d let him see how much he’d hurt her.
“You’re right,” Sara said, her voice so calm she scared herself. “It isn’t fair to spoil Ben’s Christmas. We’ll stay at the ranch until after Christmas. That should give me enough time to find a place in town.”
Gabe walked out of the Grahams’ living room.
He never looked back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE SHORT DRIVE from the Grahams’ house back to the Crested-C was only five miles. But it was the longest trip Gabe had ever made. He arrived home to an empty house, except for the smoke-filled kitchen that greeted him the minute Gabe opened the back door. Gabe waved away the heavy smoke, grabbed an oven mitt from the counter and managed to pull Sara’s surprise dinner from the oven.
He threw the burned pan out into the yard.
The same way Sara had thrown away their future.
Holding the kitchen door open wide, Gabe let the smoke clear for a good ten minutes. The frigid Colorado night air didn’t even faze him. Sara’s words had already left him too numb inside to feel a damn thing.
What a fool he’d been. He’d opened his heart again. And love had brought him right back to his knees.
But he’d never make that mistake again.
Finally closing the door, Gabe turned off the oven and started in the direction of the back stairs. He stopped when he remembered the dining room and the intimate dinner he and Sara should have shared.
The thought should have saddened him.
Instead, it only made Gabe mad as hell.
He spent the next hour in a full-blown fury removing all signs of the private party that would have been a magical night for both of them. And only after everything had been disposed of and put away did Gabe feel that some semblance of order had been restored to his life. He switched off the light the same way he intended to switch off his feelings. He only wished he could dispose of other reminders of Sara as easily.
But the next few weeks were going to be pure hell.
And Gabe knew it.
He’d put on a good front for Ben’s sake. But if Sara had any sense, she’d stay out of his way. He’d handed her his love, his heart and everything else he owned on a goddamn silver platter. And tonight she’d thrown it all in his face with the flimsy excuse about wanting it all.
Well, he had news for Sara.
He’d given all he had to give her.
And if that wasn’t enough, to hell with her.
He was going get a good night’s sleep. And he was going to be out on the open range where he belonged when Sara came back to the ranch tomorrow.
In his bedroom Gabe jerked off his shirt and his thermal undershirt and threw them to the floor. He kicked off his boots, and he pulled off his jeans. But instead of sleeping nude, waiting for Sara to come warm his bed for a few hours, Gabe told himself with certainty that having nothing but his thermal underwear bottoms to keep him warm in the winter would suit him fine.
Hours later as he tossed and turned in bed, however, more serious thoughts began running through his mind. Like maybe it would be better if Sara did move on. Let her find a man willing to ask How high? the minute she said Jump. That wasn’t the kind of marriage he wanted. Marriage was a fifty-fifty deal, dammit. And by God, he’d done his part.
Sara was the one who wouldn’t commit.
Rolling over on his side, Gabe punched his fist deep in
to his pillow, more convinced than ever that he was right and Sara was wrong and that any man willing to go along with her ridiculous demands was a damn idiot. Ben certainly didn’t deserve such a roller-coaster ride—married…not married…married again.
Bullshit. That’s what it was.
The whole point in bringing them to Colorado had been to provide some stability in their lives. He thought he’d done that—until tonight.
Gabe rolled onto his back again, staring at the ceiling. Of course, now that he and Sara wouldn’t be trying to juggle a romance, at least Ben would be their main focus again. So maybe all hadn’t been lost. Ben would still have his mother’s love and support. And Gabe would still be here to give Ben the direction any young boy needed.
They’d just do it separately.
“I’m fine with this,” Gabe told his empty room.
Liar! the four walls yelled back.
SARA PURPOSELY WAITED until she was sure Gabe had left the ranch before she headed to the Crested-C the following morning. And thanks to Betsy’s generous offer, Ben had stayed behind to play with Junior. Betsy would drop Ben off later, giving Sara a little more time to regroup and pull herself together.
She drove up the driveway with a heavy heart. She spied Bandit hovering near the back porch, his head bent over a scorched baking pan lying in the yard.
“My crown roast!” Sara groaned.
In all the confusion, she’d forgotten the oven.
Rattled at the thought of how easily she could have burned down the whole house, Sara jumped out of the Jeep and shooed Bandit away from his findings. She hurried into the house with the seared pan under her arm, relieved to see that other than the stench of stale smoke, everything in the kitchen seemed intact.
She stopped dead still, however, when a trip to the dining room found no remains of her preparations. In an instant, Sara knew it was Gabe’s way of telling her he’d wiped the slate clean. He wanted no reminders of what might have been. No telltale signs that the previous night could have been special. His actions had made everything crystal clear. Gabe wasn’t willing to give her anything more than he already had.
A Ranch Called Home Page 15
