by Sue Lyndon
He paused for a moment and stared out the window. He could hear the haunting sounds of a runaway carriage and his sister’s screams as they had often visited him in his nightmares, only this time the sound was muted and seemed to be fading away.
“One night she arranged to meet up with a gentleman, as one of the young ladies she had befriended later told me. I have no idea their specific plans, but I can only assume it was not for the best of purposes. Apparently they were to meet that night and when Gwen snuck away from the paid companion and left the ball to go to the area where the carriages were kept, she was careless and distracted…” his voice trailed off.
Daisy reached up and stroked her hand across his cheek. “Please, Papa, you do not need to tell me anymore. I think I understand what happened.”
He grabbed her hand and planted a kiss in the center of her palm, then tucked her hand back in her lap and pulled her close. “Thank you for that, my sweet Daisy. But I must conclude the story.” He took a deep breath and continued on. “As Gwen was on her way amongst the carriages, a noise spooked some of the horses and one team got away from their driver and took off at a frantic pace. She was trampled and died that evening. Someone sent for me and I managed to arrive at Bolton Manor where the incident took place in time to say my goodbyes. I am sorry to keep a secret from you, Daisy. I ought to have told you long ago.” When she did not reply, he tipped her chin up so he could look at her face.
“Oh, Papa. I am so sorry for what happened to your sister.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.
Chapter 18
Daisy looked deep into her Papa’s eyes and felt as if she could see all the way to his soul. For the first time, he had revealed himself fully and without pretense. The experience humbled her and also filled her with heartbreak knowing she would never have the luxury of being completely honest with him. Not about that one, most dreadful fact.
She crushed the thought away and focused all her love and attention on her papa. He needed her and Daisy would not fail him.
“Papa,” she said, forcing her tears away, “thank you for sharing this story with me. I am so extremely sorry I will not have the opportunity to know your sister. I can understand why you are so strict with me. I am like Lady Gwen in many ways, am I not?”
Papa stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, gathering up the tears which had settled there. “Yes, in the best and worst ways.”
“You must punish me, Papa. I was careless and reckless and I could have come to a bad end, just like Lady Gwen. Now that you have told me her story, I know I will be more attentive to your rules, but…”
“That does not mean you will still follow them at all times,” Papa finished her sentence.
“It is true. I am sure Lady Gwen did not mean to be so exasperating to you, just as I do not. I need your help to be better. I-I do not wish to end up as Lady Gwen did.”
Papa gathered her close to him in a hug so fierce it took her breath away. “After Gwen died, I never thought I would be happy again. Until I met you. You have brought joy back into my life, sweet Daisy. I do not know what I would do if I were to lose you.”
Daisy’s awful secret flickered through her mind and she shuddered to think of the ways in which she could be lost to Papa without the happenstance of death.
“Please, Papa. I feel horrible over the way I behaved today and the worry I caused when I ran off and then hid in this bedchamber upon my return. You must discipline me.”
“Yes, little Daisy, I must.” Then he stiffened for a moment before placing a finger beneath her chin to peer straight into her eyes. “Wait a moment. Did you just say you ran off and then hid in this bedchamber? Where, pray tell, did you run off to and why, young lady?”
She gasped and covered her mouth. Apparently Papa hadn’t realized she’d left the premises of his vast estate until she had opened her big mouth. This wasn’t the first time she had tattled on herself to her papa either, without directly meaning to. However, given the story he had just shared with her about his sister and how Lady Gwen came to a tragic end by being in a place she was not supposed to be, she supposed he deserved honesty. And Daisy indeed deserved whatever punishment he deemed fit.
“Oh, Papa,” she said, tears filling her eyes again. He did not look pleased in the least, and a shiver ran through her, for he appeared even angrier than he had when she’d looked up to find him standing in the doorway of Lady’s Gwen’s forbidden bedchamber. “I-I went to the fair today. I am so very sorry.”
His face reddened and his grip on her arms tightened, though he wasn’t hurting her. He blinked slowly and inhaled a deep breath, exhaling it just as slowly—as if he were trying to calm himself down. Guilt settled heavily upon her shoulders because it was all her fault. She had behaved poorly today, more poorly than he had initially realized.
“Young lady, I believe this is a discussion best finished in my bedchamber,” he finally said, and there was an iciness to his voice that left her positively chilled. He rose up and set her on her feet, then placed a hand to her lower back as he quickly guided her out of the room.
Papa led her to his bedchamber and opened the door, gesturing for her to enter. “Go inside and wait for me, young lady. I must find the butler and inform him that I’ve located you. My entire staff is out and about searching for you at this very moment.”
“Papa, I…”
“Inside,” he snapped. “I will return soon and when I do, we are going to have the discussion to end all discussions.”
* * *
Edward climbed the stairs two at a time, anxious to return to his naughty little bride. He still could not believe she had not only entered Gwen’s room against his orders, but apparently before she’d engaged in a bit of breaking and entering, she had also left Kensington Manor without telling him or any other members of his staff.
Unacceptable.
And the fair? It was not exactly a short walk from this neighborhood. He raged at the thought of harm coming to her. She was not familiar with London and could have easily become lost or found herself in a dangerous part of town. He had heard tales of gangs of pickpockets and thieves recently, particularly a gang of thieves known as The Weasels that had become a menace on some of the most traveled streets of London. He paused at the door of his bedchamber, realizing he needed to calm down before he disciplined his bride. He did not wish to frighten or truly harm his sweet Daisy—yes, despite her naughtiness he still thought of her as sweet—and so he remained in the hallway outside his bedchamber for a couple of minutes as he composed himself.
She was his little girl and he was her papa. It was his duty to provide her with proper, loving guidance. And yet, he could not let her off with a warning. She had disobeyed his rules and put herself in danger at the same time. He sighed heavily.
It was going to be a difficult afternoon for them both.
He entered the bedchamber and his gaze swept around the room for his naughty wife. She was seated on a chair by the window, her trembling hands resting in her lap and her face pale as a ghost. He shut the door behind him and engaged the lock, even though he trusted his staff would not interfere if they heard Daisy’s distress—he was her husband and it was within his rights to physically punish her—but he did not want her to fret over whether or not anyone would enter, nor did he want her thinking she could call out for help. He was about to be quite strict with her.
He strode to the center of the room and removed his jacket, followed by his neckcloth, and then he proceeded to roll up his sleeves. Daisy watched him with wide eyes, but she remained silent, no doubt realizing she could not talk her way out of this punishment.
He walked to a dresser and retrieved the item he had decided to use on her backside—a well-crafted and sturdy leather strap. He had purchased the implement while he was making preparations for his wedding, with the hope that it would remain hidden away forever and he would never have cause to use such a harsh implement on his bride. As he had anticipated the various reasons he might ha
“Daisy, you will stand up and remove every last piece of your clothing. Right now,” he said quietly. He would not shout at her, though she seemed taken aback by his calmness as she peered at him with a startled expression. “It would be wise of you to comply without hesitation. I am not in the mood for impertinence, I can assure you.”
She all but jumped to her feet and with shaking hands started to undress herself. The gown he’d selected for her this morning was one she could easily remove without assistance, and he watched as she stripped off the dress, followed by her slippers, stockings, and chemise. He had not allowed her to wear drawers today, which left her entirely naked the moment she slipped the chemise over her head. She left the garments in a pile on the floor and stepped away from them, bowing her head as a lone tear trickled down her cheek. She clasped her hands together in front of her and lowered her head even further, appearing exceedingly repentant.
His arms ached with the desire to hold her, but he could not offer her comfort yet. He had to extract the truth from her and then see to her punishment. Comfort and forgiveness would come later, once she paid her penance. He clutched the strap in his hand and stared at her.
“I love you, Daisy. I don’t want you to forget that, even as I do what must be done.”
She sniffled and cast a wary glance at the leather strap. “I-I understand, Papa.”
“Have you ever received a strapping before?”
“No-no, Pa-papa,” she said, her voice breaking.
“It will hurt. Badly. But it will cause you no lasting harm, my sweet,” he said, unable to keep the endearment from rolling off his lips. “This is the harshest implement I will ever use on you and it is intended for the most serious of offenses, such as running off and leaving Kensington Manor without telling your papa where you are going. Tell me, young lady, when you snuck off to the fair, did you understand what you were doing was wrong?”
She nodded and sniffled again. “Yes, Papa, I knew it was naughty and unwise.”
He took several steps closer to her, until she was only an arm’s length away. “Did you consider the fact that I might discover you were missing and worry about your welfare?”
Her face crumpled as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “Yes, Papa, I thought you might worry about me. That is why-why I tried to hurry back. But Lady Miselda was reading someone else’s fortune first, so I had to wait for her to finish so she could talk to me.” She reached for her face to brush some of her tears away, and it was then Edward noticed a golden bracelet she was wearing that he had never seen before.
“You went to the fair to look for the same fortune teller you saw on the morning of our wedding? And did she give you that bracelet? You had mentioned she wore such bracelets when you described your first visit with her.”
“Yes, Papa, I saw the same fortune teller, Lady Miselda, and yes she did give me this bracelet today.”
“Why? She already read your fortune once, and you told me she said we would find happiness together. Why would you need to visit her again? Is something amiss that you are not telling me? Keep in mind that I expect nothing but complete honesty from you. I will not tolerate untruths of any kind.”
* * *
Daisy’s heart was breaking.
Papa wanted to know why she had visited the fair and he expected the truth. But she could never confess her reasons for sneaking off to visit Lady Miselda.
If she stood before him and confessed to being Lord Hamilton’s bastard daughter, she could only imagine his reaction. She loved her papa and thought he was patient and understanding, however she could not risk his rejection. Not just because she loved him and would miss him if he sent her away, but because he loved her and for the first time in a long time he was happy and starting to heal from the darkness in his past.
She could not add to his darkness. She simply could not.
So she lied. She opened her mouth and told the most painful lie she had ever told in her entire life.
“Lady Miselda was so kind to me on the morning of our wedding, Papa, and when I saw an advertisement for the fair in London this morning, I wished to go see her again. I picked a bouquet of flowers from the gardens to give her as a thank you present for how kind she was to me, and we had a lovely chat and she then gave me this bracelet for good luck. Anyway, when I saw the advertisement, I knew you would not approve of me going there by myself, however I was afraid if I asked you to take me that you would be cross since you had planned to spend most of today catching up on the managing of your estate and its holdings. You made it sound as if you had most important business to attend to over breakfast and I didn’t wish to make you cross or take you away from your duties, Papa, and that is why I ran off to the fair alone without asking you or telling you where I was headed. I am sorry.”
As she finished telling her lie, she did not even care how hard and long Papa strapped her. She certainly deserved every searing blow he planned to give her for all of her untruths, not to mention making him worry and also breaking into the forbidden bedchamber. She had committed a shameful number of infractions today.
Papa stood in front of her for a long moment, and she felt the heat of his gaze burning into her. Her heart hammered as she prayed he believed her and hoped she did not have to tell her caring papa any more lies. “Daisy,” he finally said, “you are the most important person to me in the entire world. I would be devastated if any harm ever befell you. I am extremely disappointed that you did not consider the ramifications of your behavior and simply ran off to do as you pleased. You are a married lady now and my little girl. You ought to be deeply ashamed of your behavior today.”
“I am ashamed, Papa,” she said, and this, at least, was the truth.
He took a firm grip of her arm and led her to the bed, only to release her to grab a pillow and place it over the footboard. Then he gave her a pointed look that sent a quiver through her whole body. “Bend over, young lady. This must be done.” His eyes had never looked so dark and her papa had never appeared so serious before, and she had no one to blame for his rigid demeanor but herself.
He helped her assume the proper position, guiding her to lift her bottom high and part her legs slightly. And to think—she had once doubted that some papas had naughty chairs and spanked their little girls. How very wrong she had been, at least about the spanking. She wondered if her papa would ever procure a naughty chair for her, but her musings were soon cut short as she felt Papa drawing the length of the leather strap over her behind, as if preparing his aim.
“Hold onto the covers tight, little miss, and do not let go until this is over.”
She obeyed and grasped onto the covers with all her strength, dreading what was to come even though she had brought this punishment upon herself. But worse than anything—the strap or a scolding from her papa—was the disappointment she had seen reflecting in his gaze. She hoped to never give him cause to be so disappointed in her again.
Without warning, a lash of fire caught both her bottom cheeks in one resounding blow. She cried out, taken aback by the immediate blaze that erupted on her flesh, and before she had time to inhale he struck her again with another stinging slap.
It wasn’t long before she was openly sobbing as she continued to clutch the covers. At least concentrating on not letting go of the covers gave her something else to focus on other than the searing pain on her bottom. She uttered apology after apology as he lashed her with the strap, promising to be a good girl and never run off again or open locked doors or cause him to worry for her safety. Sorrow consumed her and she hoped and prayed Papa truly forgave her—and soon.
After some time, she realized the sound of the leather impacting upon her flesh had ceased. She gulped in a few steadying breaths and then wiped her face on the covers, trying to clear the tears from her vision. Papa had stopped strapping her.
A moment passed, and then his hands closed over hers as he gently pried her fingers off the covers. She realized he had been speaking to her and must have told her to let go, but the meaning of his words had somehow not penetrated to her conscious.
He lifted her up and carried her around the bed, only to place her down upon the mattress on her stomach. She felt relief that the strapping was over, but she could not manage to move just yet. Her limbs ached, perhaps from tensing so during her punishment, and exhaustion was steadily weighing her down. She heard Papa’s footsteps as he shuffled away from the bed and opened a drawer on the other side of the room. Her stomach flipped as she wondered what he might be retrieving, but she then thought perhaps he was just putting the strap away.
To her surprise, he returned to her side quickly and started rubbing a cooling salve onto her flaming bottom cheeks. He massaged the salve in with gentle caresses, and the tender care he was showing her in the aftermath of such a serious punishment was a testament to his love for her. As well as his forgiveness. Her eyes burned with fresh tears.
“Daisy.” He brushed her hair from her face. “You took your punishment well, and I am proud of you for enduring. I…” His voice trailed off and she turned slightly on her side to look at him.
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