Throughout the meal, Jason had to struggle not to stare at Annie. She sat across from him next to Stephen, looking so beautiful with the fire dancing highlights in her hair and gleaming in her eyes. The shy smiles she occasionally cast his way made his heart ring with joy as he realized that she was indeed very happy that he had come along. Meanwhile, Stephen, seated beside her, looked on broodingly and paid much more attention to his cider than to the meal.
As Mrs. Youngblood was serving up the dessert of mince and pumpkin pie, the Youngblood baby awakened, wailing loudly in her cradle across the room. Annie hastened to go get the child and rock her. Jason could not take his eyes off her as she rocked the infant and hummed her the sweet, lulling strains of “The Coventry Carol.” At that moment, watching Annie made him want desperately so many things that seemed forbidden to him here—a wife, a home, children of his own—the very things he had once scoffed back in the present. He realized that the spirit of Christmas, of family, hope, and joy, was in his soul tonight, even as his love for Annie was burning in his heart. And it seemed incredible to him that only two weeks past, he had been an unmitigated cynic who had greeted the 20th century Yule celebration with Ebenezer Scrooge’s typical “Bah, humbug.”
After the dishes had been cleared and the baby put back in her cradle, Mrs. Youngblood suggested that they all play games. The men arranged chairs in a circle, and adults and children alike played several riotous rounds of Hot Cockles and Hide the Slipper. The atmosphere grew really rowdy during the game of blindman’s buff. Jason was even impelled to spring up and grab a rambunctious, blindfolded child who was charging about dangerously close to the fire.
As the guests were laughing, taking a break from the games to sip berry wine, John Youngblood glanced at Jason and said, “Perhaps our guest from America would like to suggest a game.”
Jason pondered that a moment, then grinned and snapped his fingers. “How about charades?”
Several of the guests murmured their approval, while Stephen piped up in a slurred voice, “We do not play French games here, Mr. Burke.”
Mr. Youngblood waved Stephen off. “Oh, nonsense, Mr. Prescott. I think we need not tremble in fear of Louis-Napoléon tonight. Indeed, England may prove the emperor’s ally in his dispute with the Russians.” He nodded to Jason. “A game of charades sounds splendid, Mr. Burke.”
Oscar Simmons volunteered to be scorekeeper, and Jason suggested that the theme of the game be famous couples from history—an idea heralded with great enthusiasm by the others. Mr. Youngblood paired the guests off into two groups, and Jason was thrilled when he and Annie ended up on the same side, opposite the group that included Stephen.
Much fun followed. Two of the children did a splendid job of portraying Martha and George Washington—the boy pretending to chop down a cherry tree while the girl went through the motions of washing. Mr. and Mrs. Youngblood sent the guests into gales of laughter as they portrayed Antony and Cleopatra, especially when Mrs. Youngblood performed a wildly histrionic version of the queen’s death by an asp bite.
Jason’s group selected him and Annie to do the next charade. He whispered a suggestion in her ear, and she nodded happily. Taking her hand, he led her across the room to the Youngbloods’ candlelit Christmas tree, which sat resplendent on a small table near the window. He extended his arm as if to present the glittering, star-topped spruce to her. He then went down on one knee and kissed her hand, while she affected a pleased, if imperious, pose.
“Queen Victoria and Prince Albert!” one of the children cried.
Before Annie and Jason could even turn to confirm the correct guess, a red-faced Stephen came charging across the room and literally yanked Annie away from Jason.
“Keep your damned hands off my fiancée!” he blazed to Jason.
A collective gasp of horror rippled over the room, followed by a terrible silence. Jason shot to his feet and glowered at Stephen; this time the man had gone too far! When he glanced at Annie, he found to his dismay that she appeared mortified and very hurt.
Oscar Simmons rose and came over to join them. Seeming to recognize that Stephen was indeed out of control, he laid his hand on the younger man’s shoulder and said quietly, “Stephen, you are letting the cider speak for you. This is only a game. Mr. Burke meant no harm.”
Stephen hurled a contemptuous glance at Jason. “It is far more than a game to him and we all know it. He is playing for keeps!”
While Annie trembled with hurt and outrage, Oscar continued to speak to Stephen in low, firm tones. “This is not a matter to be settled here, in front of everyone. You will not embarrass us in front of our friends—nor will you humiliate my daughter this way.”
Stephen seemed to remember himself then. He nodded resignedly to Oscar, then turned to Annie. “I’m sorry. Perhaps this time I overreacted.”
Annie glared at Stephen and said nothing.
Oscar turned to address John Youngblood. “John, we’ve had a splendid evening, but we do have a long drive back to London.”
“You could stay the night—we have plenty of room,” Emma offered generously.
“Thank you, but we really must get back.”
The foursome rode back to London, again divided into separate companies—Annie, Oscar, and Stephen sitting across from Jason. The night had grown bitterly cold, with a thousand bright stars glittering in the clear black skies above them. All four passengers were covered with many layers of quilts. Soon, both Stephen and Oscar drifted off to sleep, and Annie and Jason were the only ones awake. They stared at each other achingly, their stark faces illuminated by the silvery light of the moon.
To Jason, it was as if no one else in the world existed but the two of them. He watched in anguish as a tear trickled down Annie’s cheek. The sight of her sorrow seemed to drive a lance deep into his very heart.
“Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he whispered tormentedly.
“I’m going to break off my engagement with Stephen,” she whispered back, choking on a sob.
Jason could not help himself then. Staring at her with his heart in his eyes, he said, “Darling, come here.”
Even as she was drawing back the quilts, Jason was reaching out for her, drawing her across the sleigh and into his lap. He covered her with the quilts, cuddled her close, and then his ravenous lips took hers.
Their kiss blazed like fire in the freezing cold night. Jason devoured Annie’s mouth, plunging deep with his tongue, possessing and savoring her. She clung to him and kissed him back with equal ardor. To Annie, the moment was pure paradise—this man was everything she wanted, her destiny. She felt a part of him, as if they were truly one, inseparable. Jason, too, felt the love, the deep bond between them, and only wished he could hold her this way forever.
At last their lips parted on a sigh. He kissed away the tears on her cool cheek and slipped his gloved hand inside her cloak, pressing it to her slender waist.
“You were right about Stephen,” she said brokenly. “He is shallow. He is a cad.”
Jason felt guilt assailing him. “He is a man who feels threatened on a very basic level. He fears that another man is trying to steal his woman.”
“Are you?” she asked achingly, lifting her brimming gaze to him.
“Oh, God, Annie, when you look at me that way…”
“Are you?”
A long, thorough kiss followed before he could answer. “I’m afraid I am,” he admitted with a groan. “And I can’t say I wouldn’t react much the same as Stephen under similar circumstances.”
“I know why Stephen got angry tonight,” she said poignantly. “He saw the way I looked at you.”
“Oh, Annie.” Jason’s voice was agonized. “Darling, you are making the right decision about Stephen. He is wrong for you. But please do not make this about me. It mustn’t be because of me.”
“But it is,” she cried. “How can it be otherwise?”
“Annie, please, I could hurt you,” he pleaded. “I may not be able to stay here
—”
“I don’t care! I want to be with you now, even if I must lose you later. I think I’m falling—”
“No, don’t say it,” Jason implored. “Please, you mustn’t say it.”
But she would say it—and thus Jason silenced her the only way he could, kissing her again and again and again, until both of them were feverish with desire.
CHAPTER EIGHT
A couple of days passed for Jason, and Christmas was now only five days away. Memories of the glorious time he and Annie had spent kissing and caressing in the sleigh continued to haunt him. He knew he was in love with her, and the anguish of his newfound love was tearing him apart. He kept telling himself that he had accomplished his purpose; he had convinced Annie to reject Stephen. Now he need not worry that Stephen might somehow hurt her on Christmas Eve, and thereby precipitate her death.
As for himself and Annie, as much as he missed her, he rationalized that it would be best if he put a halt to their budding relationship; otherwise, he might well risk becoming the man who would destroy her, especially if what he suspected came true, and he was somehow whisked back to the present on Christmas Eve. He had put into effect the delicate balance he had sought—now he had best leave well enough alone.
Only Annie would not give up on him. When she came by the newspaper office to invite him out for tea, it broke his heart to refuse her, to tell her that he was too busy. When she sent him a letter—a bewildered note asking him why he was avoiding her—he managed to restrain himself from rushing to her at once.
But then he came home from work one evening to find her sitting in his room!
Jason was mystified as he walked inside his room and saw Annie seated across from him in a chair by the window. A pale golden light spilled in from outside, outlining her lovely form. She had removed her cloak, bonnet, and gloves, and she looked so beautiful in her blue velvet dress, with her shining hair piled on top of her head. Her features mirrored a stark anguish that slashed at his heart, and it took all Jason’s self-control not to rush over and pull her into his arms, crush her to his heart.
“What are you doing here?” he cried.
She rose and came over to stand before him. “I had to see you again, Jason.”
“But how did you get in?”
She smiled. “I convinced the landlady that I am your cousin from Kent.”
Jason clenched his fists helplessly. “Annie, you shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t be here.”
An anguished cry escaped her. “Why are you treating me this way—so coldly, so cruelly? Ever since we went to the country, you’ve been like a stranger.”
He avoided her bewildered gaze. “Annie, I’m sorry, but I just feel that it is best if we don’t see each other.”
“Then why have you stolen my heart as you have?” she cried.
“Oh, Annie.” As much as Jason knew he was doing the right thing, the raw anguish on her face clawed at him and he could only hate himself in that moment.
“You have gotten your way now,” she went on in a tortured voice. “I have broken things off with Stephen. Yet still you are holding yourself apart from me! Why, Jason? Is it because you know you must leave?”
“Yes, I doubt I can even stay beyond Christmas.” He touched her cheek gently. “And I simply cannot face hurting you.”
“But don’t you know that you are hurting me terribly now, this very moment?”
When he saw her tears, it was more than Jason could bear. He pulled her into his arms. His lips took hers with ravenous need.
“Oh, Jason, Jason,” she whispered, kissing his chin, his neck. “Please say you are mine. Please love me, if only for today.”
Fighting for control, he broke away. “Annie…My God, we mustn’t! You simply don’t understand. What I feel for you could well doom you, destroy you.”
“I don’t believe that!” she cried, stepping forward and wrapping her arms about his waist. “I could never believe that your feelings could harm me in any way. And furthermore, I don’t care.”
He groaned in agony as her nearness battered his resolve. Helplessly, he stroked her hair. “You simply have no idea of the forces at work here. Somehow, I must make you understand.”
“Understand that you have my heart,” she whispered, staring up at him with tear-filled eyes. “That is all that matters now.”
When Annie stretched on tiptoe to kiss him so sweetly, so trustingly, Jason’s control snapped. His mouth ravished hers and his fingers pulled the pins from her hair. At the back of his mind, he knew that he was surely giving in to madness, but he didn’t care. All at once, nothing mattered to him but this moment, this woman he loved with all his heart. Surely what he felt could not hurt her—what he felt seemed so strong, so right. In his anguished soul, he knew that he would soon leave her, perhaps lose her forever. But they would be together now, today, in every way. And he would cherish that memory in his heart for the rest of his life.
He swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He fell on her, covering her face with hot kisses, and she laughed with joy, kissing him back and hugging his neck.
“Oh, Jason! I knew you felt as I do! I just knew it!” she cried exultantly.
“Oh, Annie, Annie,” he cried hoarsely, his lips against her lovely throat. “We really shouldn’t. But you are right, my darling—you truly are in my heart, and I cannot resist you!”
Jason’s mouth claimed hers voraciously, while his fingers worked at the tiny pearl buttons at her bodice, then undid the ties of her corset and camisole. She responded with equal fervor, pulling loose his cravat and undoing the studs on his shirt. He moaned as her warm fingertips caressed his muscled chest; she sighed as his hand cupped her firm, warm breast. When his lips and tongue followed to tease her nipple to unbearable taut-ness, she cried out with delight and dug her fingernails into his strong shoulders.
Again, they kissed ardently, making love with their lips and tongues until their mouths felt melded. Jason pulled off Annie’s dress and petticoats, then pulled back to stare at her in her lacy camisole and bloomers. Desire roared through his veins, settling in his loins with tortured intensity. Never had she looked so irresistible, so adorable! Her honey-brown hair cascaded in lush waves about her face and shoulders. Her eyes were dark, large with passion, her cheeks hotly flushed, her lips wet and bruised by his kisses. Her breasts were bared, the beautifully rounded globes rising and falling so sweetly as she sucked in her breath in ragged gasps—gasps of desire for him!
The sight of her—wanting him, open to him—excited him beyond reason. “Oh, Annie,” he whispered with rough ardor. “I wonder how I have ever managed to resist you!”
She smiled and stretched upward to press her lips to his chest, and violent spasms of need consumed him. He covered her breasts and her stomach with kisses, then raked his hungry gaze lower, reaching down to untie the ribbon at the waist of her bloomers. He felt her trembling and pressed his hand to her belly, caressing gently as he stared into her fevered eyes. He burned to join himself with her, but first took a moment to kiss her tenderly as he slipped his fingers inside her bloomers and stroked the warm center of her.
When he heard her soft cry of passion, when he felt her wetness, it was more than he could bear. His heart was pounding with his obsession to possess her, and he was aroused far past endurance. He positioned himself over her, pressing the heat of his chest to her warm breasts, and the hot steel of him to her tenderest parts. She moaned and arched against him eagerly.
Jason’s control broke. His mouth took hers, smothering her low sob as he moved to embed his rigid length in the warm tightness of her. The fiery rapture of possessing her was like nothing he had ever felt before—exquisite pleasure. All of him became a building explosion centered in her heat. He felt her tense with pain as he broke through her maidenhead, and he murmured an apology into her mouth. When he felt her relax to take his deep thrust, he could have wept with joy.
Indeed, Annie was heedless of the pain as sh
e felt Jason move deep to possess her. Her heart was brimming with the overwhelming joy that at last, he was hers. Never had she known such shattering, beauteous ecstasy as she did with his hard, hot body crushing into hers, his mouth fusing with hers, and the solid length of him at once tearing her apart and making them one. When he began to move gently within her, she encouraged him with wild, wanton kisses. He quickened his pace, impelling her to cry out and arch upward to meet him, until both of them were hurled into the searing cataclysm of rapture. They clung to each other as the powerful waves of ecstasy propelled them ever closer, ever deeper into each other’s bodies and hearts.
A long moment later, Jason gently withdrew from Annie and stared down at her with concern. “Are you all right, darling?”
“Wonderful,” came her joyous reply as she kissed him.
Though he kissed her back with equal fervor, inwardly, Jason was already feeling bedeviled by guilt and doubt, especially as Annie lay beneath him—so beautiful, so vulnerable, so fragile—and bound to him by the wondrous joining they had just known. Releasing her, he sat up in bed and raked his fingers through his hair.
Oh, Lord, what had he done? He had placed his own needs, his passion to possess her, over her best interests. He feared that Annie was falling in love with him. He knew he was in love with her, and he had no way of knowing whether that love would bless her or doom her. What if they did become involved in an intense love affair and then he was whisked back to the present on Christmas Eve? Would he be the one who would end up hurting her badly, and even causing her death? He had to consider what was best for her and act accordingly—as painful as it might be for him.
She sat up next to him, touching his shoulder. “Jason, what is it?” When he didn’t answer, she added, “Don’t tell me you already regret our lovemaking?”
At once he was contrite. He pulled her into his arms. “Of course not, darling. Get dressed now. We must talk.”
After both were dressed, they sat down across from each other at the window, both wary as strangers.
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