by Jane Henry
It’s taken years for me to put to rest the self-doubt and recognize that I do the best I can. And there aren’t always perfect answers to things. Sometimes, life sucks, and sometimes, it beats you down. But you keep on going, and when you get something good, you hold onto it. You savor it.
I put my cup to my lips, swallowing the lump in my throat with a sip of now-tepid coffee.
Beatrice comes to me and reaches for my hand, squeezing. “Go to him, babe. Go.”
I nod. I don’t have a client today, and I’ve been so stressed with not hearing from Tobias that I’ve been staying up late working, needing to complete something and do it well. Needing to know I can do something right.
“Okay,” I say with a quick nod. “I’ll do that.”
And though my heart beats with a frenzy, my stomach churning with hunger and nerves, I get ready, and leave for Verge.
Chapter 20
Verge looks eerily empty now, like discarded packages after Christmas, and my gut tightens with the loss. I hate that the tragedy of violence has come on my own fucking doorstep. When Zack arrives, we walk to the back of Verge, now lined with police tape.
Seth hadn’t fought the closure, and he’s been with me day and night, trying to find something, anything, we can go on. We pour over member records and profiles.
The members of Verge contact us constantly, wondering what they can do, how they can help, the tight-knit community bringing me a sliver of solace. One wealthy member even offered to have a temporary meeting ground in his expansive townhouse, but it violates city ordinance, and we can’t take him up on the offer.
It kills me to step away from Diana. She’s on my mind constantly, everything I look at here a constant reminder of her. The very furniture in my office reminds me of her. So I do what I have to, and push the thoughts away. If I distance myself from her, I’ll forget.
I stare at the parking lot that refuses to give me clues.
Come and get me, fucker, I think for the hundredth time. Let’s see if you’re so big and bad then. I’ll rip his dick off and shove it up his ass. I’ll kill the son of a bitch.
Kill him.
“Tobias?”
No fucking way. I turn, startled to see Diana standing on the other side of the tape that loudly declares DO NOT CROSS.
But still. Seeing her here like this, her wild curls tucked at the nape of her neck in some crazy-ass bun with fetching curlicues haphazardly framing her face, dressed in knee high boots and dark-colored jeans, a long sweater-coat draped over her beautiful curves, drives me wild. Christ.
My anger simmers. I told her not to come. “What are you doing here?”
She draws in a breath, squares her shoulders, and her eyes quickly scan the lot before coming back to mine. “We need to talk.”
“We do not need to talk,” I contradict. “I told you not to come here unescorted, ever, and most definitely not when this place is a crime scene and under investigation.” Though it kills me to say it, I have to. “Go home, Diana.”
Her eyes turn stormy and her jaw tightens before she whispers a heated, “No.”
Zack clears his throat. “Gotta get back to the station for a few. Call me if anything comes up.” He waves, takes his leave, and she has the nerve to lift the police tape and walk across the line to me.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I ask. “I said go home.”
“No,” she says again, reaching me now and when she does, she put both hands on my shoulders and shoves me inside.
What the fuck?
“Swear to God, Diana, you leave now or I’m gonna spank your ass in a way you do not like and then make you leave and if I do, you will not like how that goes down.”
But the woman is determined. Though I’m bigger and stronger than her by a whole lot, she can still move. “I said no. And yeah, I hope to God you spank my ass before I fly out of my skin with this need inside me, so guess what, handsome, I’m not going anywhere.”
That does it. I wrap my hand around her bicep and practically drag her inside, yanking the door open. The door to the Smoke Shop next door opens before we set foot inside Verge, and one of the guys who owns it comes out, cigarette to his lips. He’s tall and thin, wearing just a t-shirt and jeans, so he shivers against the cold.
“Find anything new, Creed?” he yells out, his gaze quickly taking in my grip on Diana’s arm. He clicks his lighter and sucks his smoke.
“No, and even if I did I’m not allowed to divulge,” I tell him, impatient to get her the hell inside.
The man’s eyes go back to my grip on Diana’s arm and his eyes narrow. “Everything alright out here?”
“We’re fine, thank you, now go have your smoke and leave us alone,” Diana snaps.
God, she needs a spanking.
I drag her inside, letting the heavy door slam behind us.
“You’re hurting me,” she protests, though I know I’m not. I’ve mastered the firm but painless grip.
“Am I?” I asked. “Or are you just trying to get away?” I let her go now that we’re inside, and she spins around to look at him.
“Just trying to get away,” she admits, her eyes narrowed slits. “You know, you don’t get to ditch me like this. I thought we had something special. I thought I meant something to you. I thought my son did? Then you just… just… take off? Don’t return my calls? What do you think I am, a fucking robot?” She reaches out to smack her hands on my chest, but I nab her wrists just before she does. I can hear her hurt, feel it in my gut, but she can’t do this. I drag her into the room. Our room, still untouched from the last night we spent here, since we closed our doors.
“Didn’t abandon you. God, it was a week,” I growl. “I needed to get my shit together. And woman, you do not talk to me that way.”
I push her up against the bed belly down while she fights me, but her efforts are in vain, and half-hearted at best. She needs this. My fingers nimbly push down her jeans, revealing nothing but the barest sheer thong and an ass that’s way too milky white. I’ll stripe that ass. Rearing back, I bring my hand down with a sharp smack. The breath hisses out of her.
“Fuck,” she chokes out, but another hard smack has her up on her toes, her hands clasping the bedspread.
“Tobias! Sir! God, stop!”
“You need me to stop,” I growl, spanking her again, feeling the sting in my hand as I slap her naked skin. “You fucking safeword. But you need this, Diana. I need this.” I spank her ass again, then push her legs apart and dip my middle finger between her legs. My dick hardens, finding her so damn slick with arousal. “Jesus, baby, you’re soaked,” I groan, before lifting my hand back and spanking her again. “I needed to step away. Needed to get my shit together. Texted you every day, and did not leave you.” I give her another sharp smack, then another, her ass a fiery cherry red now.
She barely struggles against me. She does not utter the safeword.
She needs this and she knows it.
I spank her until her ass glows red, before I grasp her hips and lean in, my mouth to her ear. “Gonna fuck you now.” My voice cracks. “Jesus, I missed you.”
She squeezes her eyes tight, tears leaking onto her cheeks. “Please,” is all she utters.
Unzipping my pants, I push them down, slipping my cock out and sheathing myself with a condom. Without another word, I push into her, groaning as her hot, wet pussy milks my cock and she groans deep, a sound of need I feel in my groin.
“Need to feel you in me,” she whispers. I wrap my hand around her hair and tug.
“Yessss,” she moans. “Fuck yes, sir.”
Every thrust brings us back together, as I pound into her, the bed squeaking with my efforts. I shove my hand to her front, stroking her clit. “Gonna come for me, Diana?” I growl in her ear, working her up until she’s bracing under me, her breath catching. She grasps the blanket and her back arches and her head falls back in a way that makes my heart twist. That makes me love her even more. The realization hits me ha
rd.
I love her.
I don’t stop stroking her until she’s holding her breath. She grasps the blanket with her fists, her back arches, and she screams my name at the cusp of my own shattering climax. I fall on top of her, careful not to hurt her, but hardly able to bear my own weight.
She sighs. “I needed that. Sweet Jesus, I needed that so bad.”
“Baby, we both did.” I pull out and quickly clean us up with a washcloth before climbing onto the bed and hoisting her up in my arms so she falls onto my chest. I kiss her hungrily, our lips brushing gently at first, then with intensity, needing more.
I pull my mouth off hers just long enough to whisper a heated, “God, Diana. Not too macho to admit I fucked up, baby.”
She smiles, our lips colliding, before she pulls back. “You did,” she says. “But I forgive you. I forgive you because… because I love you,” she says, her eyes showing that it takes effort to admit that. “And I don’t care that it’s not been long. Tobias,” she whispers, her hand now on my chest as she speaks with conviction. “Lives change in a matter of seconds. People get pregnant. Babies are born.” She pauses, her voice dropping. “People die. Words are spoken that change everything. So much can happen so quickly. And sometimes… sometimes you just know. And I just know about me and you.”
I close my eyes briefly, surprised at the vehemence of my reaction. I look into the depths of her hazel eyes and know.
I owe this to her.
“And I love you,” I respond. “And I feel like a dick now, but I pulled away because I love you. Because I can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. I feel responsible for the death of those women, and I can’t stand to think that anything would ever happen to you.”
She shakes her head. “Tobias,” she says, her hand splayed flat on my chest. “Just because you are strong and protective doesn’t mean you have to always be. You know? You don’t lose man cred because you sometimes can’t be the strong one. No such thing as perfect. And I love you the way you are, even if you’re not like Prince Charming and Superman and Christian Grey all wrapped into one.”
Jesus. I shake with laughter, but I not only know she’s right, but this confirms she’s the one for me because she gets that.
“You’re only human, honey,” she continues, shaking her head, her beautiful hazel eyes alight with emotion. “You know, all this time I’d decided that I’d never depend on anyone else to deliver me from all that fell on me. Never. I’d decided I’d bring myself out of whatever shit hole I found myself in. Deliver myself from the trials in my life. Then, for a time, I thought someone else could do it for me. Make me happy. Make me forget. But I’m changing that now. I am not going to deliver myself from the struggles I face. You aren’t going to fix all that weighs you down. But together? Me and you? We’re a team. And together, we can.”
Jesus, what she gives me is beautiful. “Gonna put a ring on that finger,” I whisper, my voice raspy. “But first, a collar on that neck, so any fucker who comes within ten feet of you knows you are mine.”
Her eyes warm, then widen, and she says, “Oh! Oh my… oh my God, Tobias.” The panic on her face makes the hairs on my arm stand on end.
“What is it, baby?” I ask.
She shakes her head, pushing out of the bed and dressing before I can stop her. I scramble to catch up, but she’s yelling over her shoulder. “At the smoke shop. When the guy opened the door? I saw something glittering in the doorframe. Looked like a woman’s earring? God, Tobias. When you said collar right now, it clicked. I remembered.” She turns to face me, her eyes glittering with tears. “It was hers. Claudia’s. It was her earring. And didn’t one of the victims say something about smoke? They—I’m afraid—God, the department needs to go back and investigate the smoke shop further.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, grabbing my phone out of my pocket to call Zack as she yanks open the door to the room.
“I don’t think so.” Standing right outside the door, gun poised to shoot, stands the man we’d seen from the smoke shop. “Should check those locks better, chief. Been out here the whole time, waiting for one of you to fuck up. Suspected one of you’d noticed something, thought I’d listen in.” He grins in way that makes my stomach churn. “Got more than I bargained for.” He turns the gun to Diana. “Make a move, sweetheart, and I’ll shoot your brains all over his goddamn wall. Got to listen to you beat her. They like that, don’t they?” He stalks toward Diana, gun aimed at her. “They like it rough. They like to be punished. And you know what? They deserve it, sick fucks. So I punish them.”
I’m torn between blind, red hatred that makes me want to hurt him, and fear for what he’ll do to her.
He comes in the room and slams the door behind him, locking it with one hand, the other still training the gun on Diana.
My gut tightens and my mind races with possibilities. How can I stop this guy? How will I keep her safe? For now, we have to do what the bastard says before he hurts her. God, I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him.
“Let her go,” I say in a tight voice. “Take me.”
The man laughs mirthlessly, pushing Diana to the bed. He waves a gun at her. “Take ‘em off,” he growls. “All your clothes. I heard him fuck you, damn near stroked myself off in the hall listening to you come. But you had yours. Now it’s my turn.”
I shake with rage, but control it, watching Diana’s eyes come to mine. If I tell her no, she’ll refuse, and he’ll shoot her. But Jesus, I have to stop him.
“Now!” the man shouts. “You have until the count of ten before I shoot your overgrown boyfriend over here. One.”
Panic fills her eyes as she grasps the edge of her sweater and yanks it over her head.
No.
“Two.”
She looks at me in panic. Stay calm. I’m not gonna let this happen. Just do what he says until I can stop him.
But how will I stop him? The guy has a gun.
“Three. And you’re too fucking slow.” He points the gun at my foot and pulls the trigger. Diana screams, but he misses, the shot hitting the floor and embedding in the gleaming hardwood.
“Want me to shoot him again? Would be a shame. Need him to watch you as I fuck you, and so much of the joy in this would be lost then. I won’t miss the next time.”
“No!” Diana screams.
“You motherfucker,” I growl but another bang sounds and Diana screams again. She falls to the floor and for one brief moment I’m afraid he’s hit her. My vision is blinded with rage, I try to see why she’s fallen, but I can’t see. I focus hard, and from the corner of my eye I see her push something on her wrist, then tuck her arm under the pile of blankets on the floor.
“Get on the bed!” the guy screams.
“I can’t believe you’d do this to him in his own club! This is our room!” she shouts, louder than necessary. “You hurt those women and you’ve got the nerve coming in here?” She’s trying to distract him. Why?
The guy reaches her in two steps, rears back, and backhands her. I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him for hurting her. She screams at the blow, and the guy turns the gun on me, knowing I’m ready to hurt him.
“One more word, I shoot you between the eyes,” the guy growls.
The guy shoves Diana onto the bed. “Everything off. Jewelry. All of it. You do it in ten seconds, or your boyfriend gets it.”
Diana fumbles with the clothes, shoving them off, when a noise sounds outside the bedroom.
“Motherfucker,” the guy mutters, but the momentary distraction is all I need. I shove the chair next to the guy, hard, so that it topples into him. I pounce, tackling the man to the floor, a shot ringing out in a deafening roar. I grab the gun and throw it inside the bathroom, then turn and hit the man with my fist, the man’s jaw snapping back. The sick fucker threatened Diana and hurt three other innocent women. He’ll fucking pay.
I hit him again, and again, until the man’s eyes are swollen shut and his body slumps onto the floor. At the same time th
e door to the room crashes open, but I see nothing, blind to everything around me but punishing the man who hurt us, who humiliated my woman.
I give him one vicious blow after another, wanting to maim the man, tempted to kill him for what he’s done. He needs to feel the pain he inflicted on others. He isn’t good enough to breathe the same air Diana does.
“Tobias, enough!” My vision momentarily clears to see Zack, pulling out a pair of handcuffs before he pulls me off the bloodied, unconscious body beneath me. “You got him. Jesus, brother, you got him. You don’t want his blood on your hands.”
With herculean effort, I sit back and allow Zack to cuff the man. I look to find Beatrice with Diana, rapidly dressing her. Diana’s shaking. I go straight to her.
Chapter 21
“Brilliant,” I say, holding Diana against my chest and running my hand along her crazy curly hair. “Using your watch like that to call Beatrice.”
“I knew she’d be with Zack and when she heard my call, she’d know where I was and why I was calling. Thank God they were already on their way to Verge, or I’m not sure they’d have made it in time. Actually… no. You nailed that guy before they arrived. I’m not sure they’d have arrived in time from stopping you from killing him.”
I just grunt.
We sit on a little loveseat in her living room. After a full check-up we were given leave to come home. And I didn’t hesitate to come home with her, the two of us are now waiting for Chad’s bus. It seems like it should be days later, everything happened so quickly.
“You okay, baby?”
She exhales. “You know,” she says. “That was terrifying. Horrifying. And just plain creepy as fuck. But me? I’m better than I’ve been in a really, really long time.” She closes her eyes and burrows onto my chest. I hold her close, kissing the top of her head.
