He wanted Josh to pull through this. To get better. So that he didn’t lose him.
He wanted to throw that ball for Harry, dammit, and see the grin on his son’s face. He wanted to take them both to that beach with the sand dunes and watch them run and play until they’d both had enough and then to go…somewhere. Home. With a soggy, sandy dog and a slightly sunburned small boy and have Sarah waiting for them with that look that women only had for the menfolk in their lives they loved. That tolerant ‘boys will be boys’ kind of look.
‘You guys should go home,’ he said a little while later. ‘Look after Mouse. And Harry. I’ll call if…if any thing happens.’
Which could be tonight. How long could a small, frail body hang on under the onslaught of infection?
And why was he sitting out here, for God’s sake?
‘I’m going in,’ Rick said, standing up. ‘I need to be with my…family.’
The word had come from nowhere, the hesitation barely perceptible.
Max and Ellie understood.
Would Sarah?
Sarah couldn’t feel her body.
An odd kind of numbness had crept in, due to exhaustion and sitting so still for so long. Her eyes could move normally, though, and she’d seen Rick come in and position a chair on the other side of Josh’s bed. She’d seen him take hold of Josh’s other hand and then he’d looked up and she’d met his gaze properly for the first time in what felt like for ever.
She found her head could still move, too, as she nodded slowly. Even her lips curled and it felt strange to be smiling, even this tiniest bit.
But this felt right. So right she overcame the numbness and stretched out her other hand over the top of the bed, towards Rick. He did the same and their hands touched, their fingers interlacing.
They became a small circle of humanity. Each adult touching Josh and connected to each other.
Sarah could feel Josh’s small hand enclosed within hers and her hand within Rick’s. It was so much more than simply physical awareness. Time—place, even—ceased to be relevant. The world was holding its breath, maybe pushing just a little, as something new was born.
Something that held all three of them. Sarah could almost hear the echoes of laughter and tears around them. She could feel the warmth of ultimate comfort and a bottomless well of strength.
Love.
In its purest form. Flowing from hand to hand in this precious circle. And when Sarah raised her gaze to meet Rick’s it seemed to flow faster. To make everything brighter. Clearer.
Part of it hurt. Maybe it was the truth she could see in the dark gaze cradling hers. She’d wanted Rick to be more than just involved by being the donor in this journey she’d been on with Josh. She’d pushed him into getting to know his son and having an emotional investment in the outcome. Well, she’d got what she wanted, hadn’t she? The love Rick had for his son and the pain he was experiencing himself was as solid as his presence in this room. And his pain was her pain.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
‘What for?’
‘I’ve put you through so much and it might be.’ The next words died on her lips.
Don’t say it, Rick’s gaze commanded. Don’t even think it.
‘I’m not sorry,’ his voice said. ‘Never think that.’
His gentle smile nearly undid her. He really meant that. Oh…dear Lord. Sarah had to look away. To focus on Josh again. She couldn’t fall apart now. She had to concentrate.
To hang on.
Rick could see exactly what Sarah was doing as she took what remaining strength she had and gave it to Josh.
It was in that precise moment that he realised how much he loved this woman.
Not that he could tell Sarah that. This wasn’t the place and it certainly wasn’t the time.
All he could do was try and show her that he was there for the long haul. For better or worse. By being here now. By holding her hand and trying to infuse her with some of his strength.
He had enough for both of them.
For all of them.
When Katie came in to check on Josh she worked quietly around his parents. The first few times they were sitting up and were aware of her taking Josh’s temperature and making notes of everything the bedside monitors were recording.
On her visit when a new day was almost breaking, she caught her breath on entering the room. Josh lay pale and still. Sarah had her head down on one arm, her face covered, and so did Rick. When she came closer, she breathed a sigh of relief and then found herself smiling. They were all sound asleep but they were all still holding hands.
She smiled again a minute or two later. Josh’s fever had broken. His breathing was a lot closer to being normal.
The crisis appeared to be over.
Everybody was exhausted.
Josh continued to improve steadily physically but he was miserable. Too weak to do anything remotely interesting. Even concentrating on watching a DVD was too much, days later.
‘I hate being sick.’
‘I know, hon, but you’re getting better every day.’
‘I’ll just get sick again.’
‘Maybe not.’ Sarah’s smile was full of genuine hope. ‘Your blood count’s getting heaps better. Dr Mike was pretty happy this morning, wasn’t he? He says the new bone marrow is starting to work and that’s why you’re getting better.’
But Josh wasn’t listening. He had his hands on his head and tears welled in his eyes. ‘I’ve got no hair. I’m a freak.’
‘It’ll grow back.’
‘No, it won’t,’ Josh sobbed. ‘I want…I want my mum.’
Sarah’s heart squeezed painfully. ‘I’m here, short stuff.’
‘You’re only pretending to be my mum.’ Josh was in a darker place than Sarah had ever seen him. It terrified her.
‘And Rick’s not really my dad.’
‘Yes, he is.’ At least Sarah could sound completely sincere about that. He was there for Josh, a hundred per cent. The joy she had seen in his face when they had woken to find Josh was winning the battle had told her that. He loved his son.
‘He just didn’t get the chance to be your dad before this,’ she told Josh. ‘He really does love you.’
And out of all the reasons she loved Rick, this was one of the most important. It was enough for now. They had a bond through Josh that meant that his father would always be in her life. Maybe, when all this was really over, there would be a chance to be close to him again for herself, but it was Josh who needed him most for the moment so Sarah was content to have him focused only on this brave little boy.
He’d been a constant visitor these last few days. Quietly supportive. Positive. Doing everything he could think of to try and cheer Josh up. Yesterday it had been a photograph of Harry, wearing a brand-new collar. He’d brought a matching lead in and hung it over the end of Josh’s bed.
‘Waiting for you, buddy,’ he’d said. ‘For when you’re ready to take Harry on his first walk.’
But Josh had barely looked at the photograph, which was now pinned beside the first picture of the dog on the corkboard. The contrast between this pristine print and the first one with its curled edges from being held too much was horribly poignant.
Josh noticed what Sarah was looking at.
‘He doesn’t want to live with us,’ he said sadly. ‘Or with Harry.’ He was crying again. ‘I’m too sick and. and I’ve got no hair.’
Rick turned away from the door.
They hadn’t heard him open it or seen him—stopped in his tracks by the sound of his son crying. He’d been shocked enough to wait, trying desperately to think of what he could possibly do to make things better.
He needed to find the right thing this time but he couldn’t think straight. He needed to be somewhere he couldn’t see the bowed shoulders of the woman he loved or feel himself being torn apart by the sound of a small boy’s sobs.
The shower was the best place to cry.
Even though she was
only a few feet away from Josh in the en suite bathroom, Sarah could let herself go and Josh wouldn’t know how miserable she was. She could have a good cry and then patch herself up and carry on being strong and cheerful.
She’d done it before, many times, so why did today feel so much harder? Maybe she was just too tired. Or perhaps letting go of that dream she’d had about her future was taking away too much joy. Sarah gave herself a stern talking to as she dried herself and got dressed again. She’d only postponed the dream, hadn’t she? Not given up on it completely. She should be over the moon that Josh was really getting well this time. That the bone-marrow transplant had been pronounced a success. There was every chance that Josh was now on the road to complete recovery.
His hair would grow back and he’d be able to go to school and be with his friends and she’d find somewhere they could live and keep Harry. And Rick would visit them and they’d be almost—but not quite—a family.
And that was almost—but not quite—enough.
The murmur of voices came through the door of the en suite. Sarah turned the handle carefully and opened it quietly. Josh didn’t notice because he was staring, open-mouthed, at the visitor who sat with one hip perched on the end of his bed.
Who was it?
The adult figure in the gown had a completely bald head.
Confused, Sarah stayed where she was.
‘So…what do you reckon?’
‘No.’ Josh shook his head firmly but he was smiling.
Smiling.
And Sarah had recognised the visitor’s voice. How could she not, when that deep rumble was so familiar now? So beloved she could feel it in every cell of her body? The knowledge that Rick had shaved off his gorgeous hair, presumably to convince Josh that he wasn’t a freak, undid any resolutions she’d made to present a cheerful face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Sarah had to hang on to the door handle and struggle for composure.
‘He wouldn’t mind,’ Rick was saying. ‘Dog’s hair grows back too, you know.’
‘He’d look silly.’
‘But we’d know he was still the same Harry. It wouldn’t matter what other people thought. Do I look silly?’
‘No-o-o.’
‘He’d get a bit cold, though, so maybe you’re right. We’d better not shave Harry. How ‘bout Sarah?’
Josh actually giggled.
‘No.’ It was Rick who dismissed this new suggestion. ‘I love Sarah’s hair just the way it is.’
‘Me too.’ Josh was still staring at Rick. ‘Do you love Sarah?’
There was a hesitation. A silence in which Sarah stopped crying. Stopped breathing even.
‘I do.’
It was a wonder they didn’t hear the ragged breath Sarah took then. Maybe they did and turned to look at her but she had closed her eyes and was hanging on to the door handle for dear life, letting a wave of pure joy course through her, body and soul.
‘She’s pretty special,’ Rick continued. ‘You’re very lucky to have her for a mum, Josh.’
‘She’s not really my mum.’
‘Isn’t she? What do mums do that Sarah doesn’t do?’
Josh thought about that for a few seconds. ‘Nothing, I guess.’
‘And she loves you to bits, doesn’t she?’
Josh nodded.
‘So you’re lucky. If Sarah loved me, I’d feel like the luckiest man on earth.’
She couldn’t stand here and eavesdrop a moment longer. Sarah opened her eyes to find that Rick had known she was there all along. He was watching her.
Her breath caught again, somewhere in her throat. Without his hair, he looked so different. His eyes looked bigger. Darker. He looked vulnerable.
Heroic.
Two sets of dark eyes were fixed on her and the room was so quiet. They were waiting for her to say something and there was only one thing she needed to say.
‘I do love you, Rick.’
‘He’s got no hair,’ Josh said happily.
‘I can see that.’ Which wasn’t entirely true because right now Sarah could see nothing but Rick’s eyes and what they were telling her.
She could see so much love in them. They drew her closer. She had to touch him.
‘It’ll grow, you know.’ Josh sounded supremely confident.
It would. Like the love. Sarah was very close to Rick now but they weren’t touching yet. They didn’t need to. The connection in the smile and gaze they were sharing was strong enough to feel physical.
‘Are you going to get married, then?’ Josh asked. ‘And be like a real mum and dad?’
‘I hope so,’ Rick said softly.
‘So do I,’ Sarah whispered.
‘When?’
‘Maybe when you’re completely better,’ Sarah said.
‘When our hair’s grown back,’ Rick added.
‘Can Harry come?’
‘Of course. He’s part of the family too.’ But Rick’s attention was elsewhere now. He was leaning closer, intent on kissing Sarah.
Josh made a disgusted sound. ‘You can’t do that in front of me,’ he said. ‘It’s gross and I’m just a kid.’
Rick had Sarah in his arms now. She knew she was still standing on the floor but she had the oddest feeling that she was flying.
‘You’re our kid,’ Rick said firmly. ‘So you’ll just have to get used to it, buddy.’
And then he kissed her.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
® and TM are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
First published in Great Britain 2011
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Alison Roberts 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-92438-9
Table of Contents
Cover
Excerpt
Title Page
The Honourable Maverick
Dear Reader
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Epilogue
The Unsung Hero
Praise for Alison Roberts:
About the Author
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Copyright
;
The Honourable Maverick / The Unsung Hero Page 29
