Scarred

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  I got up and went over to him, kneeling down before him on the floor.

  “I know I have to tell Sean, Cooper. If there's any hope of fixing this, it lies with him.”

  I pushed up onto my knees and kissed his cheek, hovering beside his face for just a moment or two longer than expected, before getting up to retrieve my phone. Mentally putting on my big girl panties, I punched in Sean's number and held my breath.

  “Wait!” Cooper said, hopping over the back of the chair effortlessly. “Let me talk to him.”

  Suspicious of his intentions, I begrudgingly handed the phone to him and looked on. I didn't know what he was up to, but if he'd had some sort of epiphany, I was going to let him deal with the situation, because my game plan was a total Hail Mary. Hopefully his was better.

  “Hey Sean, it's Cooper,” he said, walking away from me towards his room. “Yeah, no, she's fine. She's right here.” He opened the door slowly, then slammed it closed in my face and locked it before I had a chance to stop him. “She wanted to talk to you,” he continued, voice muffled by the door that barred me from his room, “but I know why. Nope, it's not about that. It's something else, but I can't let her do it.”

  I pounded on the door for him to let me in, but it was plain he wasn't going to. He was up to something, and I continued to press my ear to the door to hear what exactly that was.

  “We have a situation down here. There's been an infection,” he started, but Sean must have cut him off quickly, silencing him for a moment. “No, he's fine. He made it through okay. That's all under control.” My heart pounded in my chest with every second that ticked past. “Well, that's the thing. She called to tell you what happened...because she was there.”

  Another long, long silence on Cooper's end.

  “Sean...Sean, calm down. Listen...just listen for a minute, will you! Yes, that's where she was the other night, and yes, that's why she couldn't tell you. She didn't want to put you in that situation or herself in harm's way. Can you blame her? If this is how you would have reacted, I sure as hell can't.”

  I couldn't breathe. Sean was furious—at me—because of what I'd done. Apparently none of the information was better received having come from Cooper.

  “Are you finished yet?” Cooper asked, sounding annoyed. “Good, then shut the fuck up and let me finish. It's Matty; he's the one infected. He called Ruby there because he was alone and he was sick. He thought something was wrong. She had no idea what was going on, and if it weren't for Scarlet, she'd probably be dead right now, so you should chill the fuck out about what happened. She's alive. Drop it.”

  More silence.

  “I know that, Sean. I'm well aware of how it all works, but it's a non-issue. You don't have to kill him if that's your only concern,” Cooper said, sounding far more calm. It didn't last long. “I'm telling you not to be concerned about it because he's not a fucking RB, Sean! I infected him, not her!”

  “NO!” I screamed through the door, but it was too late. Cooper had already hung up, and was unlocking the door. As soon as he emerged, I pounded my fists into his chest repeatedly. “What are you doing?” I yelled. “You've made it all worse now!”

  “No,” he shouted. “I've fixed it for the time being. Sean won't kill me for an accidental infection because I'm important to you. I can't make any promises about Matty, but as long as he weathers the Change well, we should be alright.”

  “But he's RB...,” I said, voice fading.

  “I know,” he replied, tight-lipped. “We'll have to keep a close watch over him for now. Hopefully he'll have the same control level that you do. If not, he dies.”

  I hated myself for being happy that I was off the hook, but it was true. It was a huge sense of relief.

  “Is Sean coming back now?” I asked, not ready to face him.

  “No. There's something going on down there. He sounded off. I don't know what it is, but it isn't good.”

  24

  I couldn't believe what had happened.

  I walked away from Cooper without another word, in a complete stupor. Not only did he throw himself on a grenade for me, taking the blame for Matty's infection, but he also pulled the pin, telling Sean off on the phone. It was beyond suicidal. It was like asking Sean to be creative with how he was going to torture and kill you. I hoped Cooper's confidence in the theory that Sean wouldn't kill him was well placed; I wasn't certain it was.

  Cooper followed me to my room, but it was my turn to close the door on him and lock it. I collapsed onto my bed and buried myself in the covers, wanting to shut out the world around me. With Sean away, that was going to be easier to do, but when he came back, the shit was really going to hit the fan.

  I passed out for hours, until my bladder finally sent out a distress call around ten p.m., demanding that I get up and empty it before it relieved itself all over my bed. Dragging my weary ass down the hall to the bathroom, I took care of business. Once that necessity was met, I decided food was next on the list and prayed that Cooper had left me something to warm up. It was way too late for takeout.

  I was elated to see a plastic wrapped plate filled with grilled salmon and salad waiting for me on the top shelf of the refrigerator with a note that read: Eat this...you look like hell.

  “Thanks, Coop,” I said aloud to nobody but myself. He was always watching out for me, taking care of me.

  With a click of the remote, the TV came to life and I totally vegged out to it while I ate. Mindless entertainment was at a premium in my house, so I indulged in some ridiculous program on the Bravo network and laughed at the asinine people on it until my stomach hurt. I stayed on the couch, even as my eyelids started to get heavy. By then Pretty Woman was on, and even though I could practically quote the entire movie, I couldn't bring myself to turn it off.

  Cooper came home around one a.m. and silently made his way to his room. A few minutes later, he came out in scrub pants and a ratty old tee. I watched with eyes barely open as he came up beside me on the couch. He pilfered the throw blanket from the armchair and wrapped it around himself before elegantly stepping over me onto the sofa. He lay down, wedging himself behind me. As he snuggled in close, he arranged the blanket strategically over us both before kissing the top of my head.

  “I love this movie,” he said, resting his head down on the couch just above mine.

  “It really is the best,” I concurred sleepily.

  We watched it in silence before falling asleep together with the TV still on. It was our way of telling each other that things were okay, if only for that moment. As was often the case with Cooper, our conversation didn't involve words—it didn't need them. We had a connection that neither of us could explain, but the bottom line was it worked, so we didn't bother to question it. My cuddling back into him told him thank you and I'm sorry. His arm around me said he forgave me, but the subtle squeeze he gave right when it locked onto me told me to never do it again.

  And I wouldn't.

  No more running. No more lying. Neither had served me well in the past, even if I’d only just come to realize that point. Their absence in the future should prove quite the opposite. At least I hoped it would.

  * * *

  I walked downtown feeling refreshed after my early-morning-to-well-past-noon sleepathon. When I woke up, I called Ronnie, thinking it was time to have that talk she'd wanted, and the truth was I owed it to her. She'd stuck her neck out pretty far for me, and, regardless of the fact that she expected information in return, I was happy to give it to her. She had earned it.

  Entering Better With Age felt good—familiar. She was finally back to work, and I couldn't wait to see her in action. She hadn't been herself since the attack, and I hoped that returning to her normal routine would be helpful to the cause.

  “Hey Ronnie, I picked up some—”

  A man in his early fifties turned around slowly to face me. I noticed Ronnie standing behind the counter, slightly obscured from view by the formidable gentleman.

  “Oh, sor
ry,” I said, embarrassed for interrupting. “I'll just be over here.”

  “No, it's fine, Ruby. Come on over. I want you to meet someone,” Ronnie said, coming around to the customer side of the front counter. “Ruby, this is an old friend of mine, Malcolm Reed. He consulted with my husband when he first started at the CIA.”

  “Ruby,” he said, extending a firm handshake. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

  Ronnie went over to the front door and flipped the sign to closed, locking the door as well.

  “He's also a member of the Underground,” she offered, rejoining us. “Ruby knows about werewolves too.” I shot her a look of utter surprise, thinking she'd just outed me to a complete stranger. “Ruby's parents were killed by werewolves a couple of years ago. She managed to get away, and has been living here ever since.”

  “You got away?” he asked, his eyes raking over me. “Unscathed?”

  “Amazingly, she did,” Ronnie said, answering for me.

  “Fascinating,” he said with a true sense of awe. “So you weren't bitten?”

  “No,” I said. “No scratches, no bites. Somebody seemed to scare them off before they got to me.”

  “Well, I'm sorry to hear about your parents,” he said, his face scrunched with concern. “Has Ronnie talked to you about joining the movement?” he asked, eying me with curiosity.

  “Kinda. She's hinted around at it a bit,” I said, totally unsure of what to say. “But I'm one who likes to keep my head down and stay out of trouble as much as possible. I don't want to go looking for it.”

  “That's too bad,” he said with a frown. “We could use all the help we can get.”

  “So what exactly would I be helping with, if I did join you?” I asked, trying to put a game face on.

  “I can't really go into detail if you're not committed. I'm sorry, but I'm sure you understand.”

  “Yeah, sure...no problem,” I replied with a fake smile. “If this is a bad time, Ronnie, I can come back.”

  “No reason for that, Ruby,” Malcolm said. “I'm headed back down to Boston for business. I just wanted to check in on Ronnie. I'd heard she'd had a health scare, and I wanted to see how she was faring.”

  “I'm doing well, Malcolm. Thanks for the drop in,” she said, giving him a hug. “But next time, you call ahead so we can actually spend some time together. It's been way too long.”

  There was something in her eye when she spoke to him that I'd never seen before. She liked him, that was apparent, but there was something else, something I couldn't place. Something like admiration. I was instantly curious as to what kind of history they had.

  “Nice to meet you, Ruby,” he said with a pat on my shoulder. “I hope you reconsider joining us. Ronnie has such wonderful things to say about you. You're exactly the kind of recruit we need.”

  “I'll think about it.”

  “Well, ladies,” he said with a brisk nod. “Until next time.”

  After Ronnie walked him to the door and let him out, we watched him leave. I gave it a solid minute before I turned on her with crazy eyes and started my rant.

  “What the shit was that?” I asked, moving towards her. “I thought you were going to blow the whistle on me!”

  “Why would I do that?” she said, walking around to the counter. “I thought by doing it this way I wouldn't have to explain anything to you later, and I could speak about you more freely to him, excluding the furry parts, of course. Keeps the secrecy to a minimum.”

  “He doesn't need to know anything about me!” I said, grabbing her arm.

  “No, but I need him. I thought by dangling a new recruit in front of him he might be a little more forthcoming with his information.”

  “About what?”

  “About Keith!” she exclaimed. “I want to know what happened to him...how he got to be what he was.”

  “And this guy knows that?”

  “I don't know, but he's the only one that I know of who could possibly find out. He's one of the founders of the Underground, Ruby, and he's affiliated with the CIA somehow. He's got connections.”

  “But why now? Why after all this time—after the whole thing has been laid to rest—do you care?”

  “He was my husband,” she said, looking mournful. “I loved him once. I owe him that much.”

  “I thought he was randomly attacked?”

  “He was attacked, yes,” she said, biting her lip, “but I'm not sure how random it was. After all these years, the whole thing still doesn't sit well with me.”

  “You think he was targeted?” I asked, thinking of how Gregory had handpicked Cooper for his menagerie.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, if you think he has answers, then by all means use me as leverage, if you think it'll get you somewhere. I can play the eager beaver.”

  “Thanks,” she said, dodging behind the counter. Part of me tensed, thinking of her handy Glock that lay dormant back there. She saw me flinch and laughed. “I've retired that for a while, Ruby. You can ease up.”

  Instead of her hand cannon, she pulled out a tiny box with a ribbon around it.

  “It's a little thank you of sorts.”

  “For what?” I asked, taking it from her.

  “Everything,” she said, looking down. “But mainly my peace of mind. I don't have to look over my shoulder anymore. You have no idea how good that feels.”

  I didn't—I looked over mine constantly.

  I opened the package to find an ornate rhinestone hair clip from the forties. It was a large fan of feathers, much like a peacock in its full glory. It was exquisite.

  “Ronnie!” I gasped, fingering it delicately. “It's amazing.”

  “I thought maybe it would help tame down that fro of yours,” she said with a chuckle.

  “Thank you,” I said, putting the clip gently back into its box. “I love it.”

  “I knew you would.”

  I paused for a minute, not wanting to ruin the moment between us.

  “About the other night...,” I began, unable to look at her.

  “Leave it be, Ruby,” she said softly. “I don't need to know any more than I do. I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright with it and that Sean was...understanding.”

  “I don't know if he is or not,” I replied, unable to look at her. “I didn't tell him. I was going to, but then Cooper hijacked the phone and told him that he infected Matty and that I was there on the full moon, but I got out alive and that's what he should focus on,” I rambled. “I never heard his reaction, but judging by the long stretches that Cooper couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and Sean not answering any of the texts I've sent him since, I doubt it was good.”

  “Well, I can't say that's unexpected. Just be careful. There's a reason why there are so few female wolves out there,” she said, eyes serious. “They tend to be collateral damage.”

  “I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.”

  “No problem,” she said, feeling the awkwardness in the room as much as I did. We both paused, unsure of where to go from there. “Hey!” she shouted, turning to enter the back room, “I've got something else you're going to love. But this one isn't on the house.”

  When she emerged through the beaded gateway to the stockroom, she held a vintage leather jacket so worn-in that it was hard to tell what the original color had been. What was left of the hue was a purplish-brown, and the suede was so soft you could have rolled it up and used it for a pillow. She slipped it on me from behind and smoothed the back out as I arranged the front. It was beyond perfect.

  “You're truly evil, you know that, right?” I said, walking over to the mirror.

  “Nope, I'm just a matchmaker of sorts.”

  “What's it going to set me back?”

  “More than you want to know,” she said with a grin.

  “Ugh,” I said, knowing I'd pay whatever she asked for it. I couldn't not have it. “I don't have my card with me,” I told her. “I'll have to come get it later today.”

  “Ju
st take it,” she said, writing something down on a card for me. “Have Peyta bring me a check for this amount.”

  “Jesus, Ronnie!” I said, looking at the figure she'd jotted down.

  She turned up the wattage on her smile and laughed.

  “Hey...business has been slow with me gone. I have to make that back somewhere.”

  “Well, I'm glad to know that the Royal Bank of Ruby is here to help,” I said sarcastically.

  “So am I. Now get out of here before I find a few more things to strong-arm you into buying.”

  “Good advice.”

  “From me? Always,” she said, eying me thoughtfully.

  “Agreed,” I replied with a smile. “The best.”

  * * *

  I had dreaded it all day, but inevitably evening came. I still hadn't heard back from Sean, and, unfortunately for me, when it came to him, no news was not good news. At minimum, I was hoping to find out when he was coming back so I could mentally prepare myself for the hatred I was going to see in his eyes. I had betrayed him, and he now had that fact confirmed. To make matters worse, I was off to see the person I'd betrayed him with.

  I played with my platinum ring as I drove down to Boston, thinking it was so strange that such a small thing could control something so powerful. Not that I wasn't thankful for it. That slender band was all that kept me from being forced into a broom closet in my mind and locked away indefinitely, while Scarlet and her soul mate did their thing.

  My stomach tightened instantly when I didn't see Matty's car as I pulled up. I was ten minutes late as it was, and he was always on time. I waited for another five minutes to see if he would show up before texting him repeatedly.

  Nothing.

  I sighed as I got out of my car and started to text Cooper to alert him to the problem. He needed to know that I'd be late if I had to drive around Boston in search of a neowere. I was actually surprised that Matty hadn't come, since he'd been so jazzed about seeing Scarlet. In truth, I’d half expected to see him waiting for her out front, but no such good luck there.