Baker didn’t answer right away. Chu imagined him behind his desk absorbing the frustration. “We’re in a business that doesn’t have the luxury of right or wrong choices, Smoke. In times like this, we have to go with the best worst option. We can’t sacrifice thousands of lives to try and save one. That means she has to stay put and so do you. You do anything else and the whole trip goes sideways.”
Chu kicked back at the wall with the heel of his shoe. “I can’t accept that.”
“I know you don’t accept it. I know you better than that. I’m just asking you to do it and not take your frustrations out on my tech.”
“His ‘cultural perspective’ is not my problem.” Chu’s mind flashed back to beatings in his past.
“You’re right. Your problem is you’re trying to be Batman.”
“What? Listen, I don’t want to hear any of your stupid analogies right now--”
“OK, but this isn’t really about a backwards colleague, a brutal man or an abused woman. All this is about you.”
“Are you saying I don’t give a fuck about her at all?” Chu heard the echoes of her crying floating in the park breeze.
“No. It’s just the opposite. You need to save her because you’re trying to change the past. You want to get back what was taken from you. But you can’t fix what happened, Smoke. You couldn’t stop the abuse before and you can’t stop it now.”
Chu forced a laugh. “You’re not doing too well as an insightful comic geek. Batman lost his parents to a random mugger. Both my parents are still alive.”
Baker didn’t echo Chu’s hollow humor. “Maybe, but a stranger took away Bruce Wayne’s family. That might be easier than what you went through.”
Chu felt the convulsive spasms of pain in her broken body. “Look, I’m gonna go. I’ll smooth things out with your tech, but I need to make some other calls.”
Chu heard the sympathy in Baker’s sigh just before he hung up. “Understood. Say hello to your mom for me.”
Chapter Four: This Woman’s Work
In spite of her condition, Sunny Chu answered the phone with an enthusiasm worthy of her name.
“Hello beautiful boy. Why are you wasting time calling an old woman like me?”
“I just wanted to hear your voice, pretty lady. How are you holding up?”
“I’m perfectly fine my dear, but you don’t need to worry about that. I know you’re probably at work. You shouldn’t be calling me when you’re on a secret mission. Now don’t go and get yourself in trouble with Mr. Baker. You can’t take advantage of him just because he’s your friend.”
“It’s fine, Ma. He wants me to stay in touch with my mother.”
“He’s such a nice man. Do you know he sent me flowers on my birthday? I can’t believe he remembered my favorite kind. You always send roses, but he sent me the most beautiful cushion chrysanthemums with a personal card in perfect calligraphy. He’s so nice. How is Mr. Baker these days? Are you ever going to get together with him?”
“Hey! I thought you liked roses.” Chu smiled to himself. His mother’s infectious buoyancy lifted his spirits when no one else could. “Baker is fine, ma. And he has a wife, remember? Besides, I didn’t call to talk about him. I called to check up on you. Are you ok?”
“Oh, I’m perfectly fine. I spend most of my time rolling around the clinic. You know there’s so much to do these days. So many people need help, but it gives me something to do to keep my old hands busy.”
“I’m glad you’re staying out of trouble, but you’ve always been helping people. Who’s there to help you?”
“I don’t need any help. I’ve got two good hands and pretty good eyes. I still have my hair and almost all my teeth. Why would I need anyone to help me? A lot of people my age can’t even chew their own food.”
Chu laughed with her, but his response held more irony. “If you say so…”
“I do say so, but you don’t believe me. What’s wrong, my beautiful boy? What are you so worried about?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I like that very much. I appreciate the company.”
“So where’s Dad? What’s he been up to?”
“You know your father is down at the Blue Crane. He gets so worked up over his games. I hate to think about what the stress is doing to his heart. It’s just not good for him.”
“How good is it for you?”
“I’m perfectly fine, my dear. Your father wins quite often. He’s very good.”
“But what happens when he loses?”
The creak of slow spinning wheels harmonized with Sunny Chu’s sigh of resignation. “He has always been very passionate about his interests, my dear.”
Chu’s eyes burned. “That’s not passion, Ma. It’s anger, and whatever it is doesn’t give him the right to take it out on you.”
“It’s fine, baby. It’s fine. I spend my days at the clinic. He spends his nights at the Crane. I hardly get to see him much at all these days, except for church on Sunday…”
“So you spend your life running from your husband? You hide from him so he can’t hurt you?”
“No, no it’s not like that at all.” Sunny spoke with the smooth soothing tones of a mother trying to protect her son from the evils of the world. “I’m not afraid of your father. I’m not afraid of anyone. I know I have a strong son who looks after me.”
“But I’m not there for you, and I wasn’t there when you really needed me.”
“Beautiful boy, you have been running to my rescue from the day you started to walk. I still have your protection bottle. You saved me more times than you can ever know. And now, you’re keeping people safe all around the world. You make me very proud.”
“I’m sorry, Ma---”
“It’s perfectly fine, baby. You can’t be everywhere at once. You have to protect the people who need you most. You’re doing just fine.”
“Do you need me to be there for you more?”
“I’m an old woman. You shouldn’t waste your time with me.”
“Does he still hit you?”
“I told you I hardly see him.”
“Because he still hits you, even with all he’s done to you already?”
Sunny Chu didn’t have a cheerful response. She didn’t have any response at all. The wheels stopped rolling and the silence told Chu all he needed to know.
“I’m coming to get you. I’m coming over right now.”
“No baby. You need to work. You have a life to live. You can’t sit around to take care of me.”
“You can stay at my place. You’ll be safe there.”
“Your apartment is too small and it doesn’t have a ramp. I can’t get into your place and I couldn’t move around in there anyway.”
“I’ll get a new place, something bigger and--”
“Beautiful boy, I need to be here. This is my home. I have a life. You have a life. I know you are there for me, but I don’t want you to change your life for me.”
“Then I’m going to the Crane. I’ll make sure he never touches you again. I --”
“You will do no such thing, Hamilton Chu. You promised to never try that again. He is your father. I’m not asking you to love him, but you have to respect him. If you can’t do it for him, then please try to do it for me.”
“Respect him? Why? Where was his respect for me? Where’s his respect for you?”
“We don’t respect him for who he is, my dear. We respect him for what he has given us.”
“What has he ever given us?”
“He gave me you.” The words spilled out without any hesitation. “Without Wei Chu, I could have never known Hamilton Chu and I wouldn’t give you up for anything. You are my perfect prize.”
Sunny’s words brought tears to Hamilton’s eyes. He didn’t try to talk. He just admired his mother’s strength. She tried to whisper soft words into his ear to comfort him, but the more she spoke, the more he cried.
“Your father will be your father as
long as he can still walk and talk, baby. It’s who he was, who he is and who he’s going to be. You can’t live in anger because of him. That’s worse than anything anyone can do to you. Live your life the best you can and nothing else will matter. Do you understand me?”
“Yes Ma.”
“That’s my special boy. Now go to sleep. You probably have to wake up early to go on a secret mission. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok. I love you.”
“I know you do baby and I love you too. Everything will be fine. Just remember what I said.”
Hamilton Chu didn’t stop crying when he hung up the phone. He sat in the dark as confused and helpless as a small child.
Chapter Five: The War of Chu
Hamilton Chu didn’t remember his first experience fighting Wei Chu. The encounter couldn’t really be called a fight. Wei was a thirty year old enraged dock worker. Hamilton couldn’t have been more than four. But the difference in age didn’t prevent the youngest Chu from throwing a bottle of formula at the back of his father’s head.
Hamilton had no concept of age or fighting when he attacked. He didn’t understand family social constraints or the financial pressures of immigrants. He only understood pleasure and pain. So when Dad threw Ma against the wall of their little apartment, Hamilton waddled over on pudgy little legs and hurled his afternoon bottle in retaliation.
He missed.
Wei Chu cursed and swatted his son with a backhand, dropping him to the floor. Sunny Chu fell on her son without hesitation, shielding his body with her own. On that day, mother and son became inseparable.
Sunny taught Hamilton to ride a bicycle when his father spent his time at the gambling hall. Hamilton wiped the blood away when Sunny’s husband came home and smacked her in the mouth. As he got older, Hamilton stood up to his father when he got drunk and tried to rape Sunny. Sunny begged her husband for peace when he beat Hamilton and tried to throw him out into the street. Wei Chu held his family together by being a brutal monster. Sunny and Hamilton clung to each other in codependent survival and support.
So Hamilton had no intention of going off to college after high school. He couldn’t leave his mother alone. When she insisted he apply to the best schools around the country, he resisted. He had the size and the strength to keep Wei Chu in check now. The beatings had dissolved into hollow drunken tirades. The tiger lost his claws. The young man planned to maintain the uneasy peace. He would live at home to watch over his mother and remain a constant threat to his father.
But Sunny Chu wouldn’t hear of it. She had dreams of her son becoming a lawyer, then a politician and then who knew how far he could go? She wanted him to help other people and have a life beyond what they called the Little War of Chu. Hamilton told his mother he could do all those things and still live at home. Her response ended the conversation.
“How are you going to go out and find yourself a nice boy if you waste all your free time with me?”
Hamilton never came out to his mother. He never came out to anyone. He wasn’t willing to put another burden on her. He didn’t want her to have to choose between her son and her church. He didn’t want her to feel guilty or ashamed of her son, especially in the face of her husband’s constant cruelty. He didn’t want her to feel alone if she decided to reject him. He didn’t want to be alone, either, so he kept his sexuality to himself. But Sunny Chu knew her son, and she loved him more than the church or her husband or her own safety.
The new dimension to their relationship made it even harder for Hamilton to leave, but Sunny insisted on his happiness through tear soaked eyes. Hamilton applied to the best schools and got himself a scholarship. He left for orientation on a Saturday in early fall, with a promise to see his mother again as soon as he could.
Hamilton came back to Queens the following Tuesday to visit his mother in the hospital.
Wei Chu told the paramedics Sunny fell down the stairs. He told the doctors she hit her head during the fall. He told the police they had no history of domestic disturbance. Wei Chu didn’t tell Hamilton anything. He wouldn’t look his son in the face or even stay in the ICU when Hamilton arrived. Hamilton didn’t care about his father. He just wanted his mother to wake up so he could see her again.
Sunny woke up. She blamed the slippery stairs for her fall. She chastised herself for hitting her head. She apologized to Hamilton for revealing his secret. She didn’t mean to tell Wei Chu anything. She made a terrible mistake in a moment of pride and begged her son for forgiveness. Hamilton didn’t care about his secret. He just wanted to be close to his mother.
So Hamilton Chu stood by her bed when the doctors explained her injury. He held her hand when they told her about the damage to her spine. He held her close when she found out she’d never walk again. Hamilton heard their words, but he didn’t listen to them. He focused his attention on Wei Chu.
Hamilton knew what happened. He saw it play out in his mind. Wei picked a fight with her without realizing she felt stronger and more confident than any other time in her life. Her perfect prize had escaped the War of Chu. Sunny finally stood up to her husband. Maybe she even blurted out Hamilton’s secret to punish Wei’s distorted image of manhood. Whatever his mother said and however she said it, Wei Chu responded with renewed violence. All the months of uneasy peace exploded into a single act of rage. Wei Chu grabbed Sunny by the hair. He threw her down the steps. The man crippled his wife and Hamilton couldn’t think about anything else.
He didn’t say what he planned to do about it. He didn’t talk about going home to look for the hammer in Wei Chu’s tool box. He didn’t explain how he planned to confront his father and break all the fingers in the hands Wei used to grab Sunny’s curly hair. He didn’t mention smashing his father’s kneecaps as he dragged him to the staircase. He didn’t say he wanted to crack the back of his father’s skull opened before throwing him down the stairs. Hamilton sat next to his mother and kept it all to himself. But Sunny Chu knew her son, and she wouldn’t let him go.
“Please don’t hurt him. Please promise me you’ll stay with your auntie while I’m here and you’ll go back to school when I go home.”
“You’re not going back home while he’s still there. But he’s not going to be there by the time you get out.”
“Don’t hurt him. I don’t want you to suffer anymore for this.”
“He’s going to suffer for what he did, not me. I don’t care who he is. He can’t do anything to me.”
“If you hurt him, you won’t be able to finish school.”
“I don’t care about school.”
“I care about school and I care about you. I need you to get out of this. He has ties to the Hip Sing. If you go after him, they will come after you. They will come after me. The police will get involved. Your life will be over. Everything I did for you, and everything we did together, will be for nothing. Please don’t do that to me. I need you to get out of this life. I need one of us to escape this war. School is your escape, so promise me you’ll go back there soon.”
Hamilton never faced his father or his brothers in the Tong. He never spoke to Wei Chu again. He went back to school after pushing his mother home in her new wheelchair. He learned how to channel his rage into skills and training he could use to protect people who couldn’t protect themselves.
Hamilton sat in the dark, remembering the War of Chu and wondering if the fate of Sunny Chu would become the reality of Maria Maas. Then a flash of inspiration brought a smile to his face and movement to his body. Hamilton walked out of his apartment and into the night to give fate a little push.
Smoke and Shadow Page 7
