“Here, I’ll give you an example. I wrote a poem for English class when I was in sixth grade. My teacher liked it so she encouraged me to enter it in a local contest. I won. There was a big ceremony planned where they were going to read my poem along with some of the others. It was even going to be included in a book. I was so excited when my dad came home I forgot to wait for Mom to be with us before I told him my news. She walked in just as he was congratulating me.”
Abby swiped the tears off her cheeks in an angry motion. “She said she was sorry to admit I was her child and it was awful for me to make such a spectacle of myself. Dad stood up to her and she lashed out at him. She blamed him for my high and mighty attitude and said he’d ruined me and that she had her work cut out for her to make me into a decent person. He sent me to my room then, I think so I wouldn’t hear the rest of what she said.
“The next morning, she drove me to school so she could talk to my teacher. She said she was very sorry but her husband wouldn’t permit me to attend the awards ceremony and hoped it wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience. I was stunned but knew enough to hide it. My mom actually cried a little to help show her disappointment. The day after the ceremony, my teacher gave me a copy of the book. I had to hide it so my mother wouldn’t throw it away.
“They started fighting really bad right after school ended that year. I remember my dad waking me in the middle of the night. I was scared because he was crying. He sat on the edge of my bed and hugged me really hard. Then he made me promise to never forget how much he loved me. In the morning, my mother announced he was gone for good. She said it was my fault. Everyone felt so sorry for her.
“Do you know she was the one who introduced us? Me and Earl. He acted so interested in me that he completely ignored her when we were all together. Or he did at the beginning anyway.” Abby went back to snipping at her hair. “I think they planned for him to take me off her hands. She would pout and mope when he was with both of us but he would just laugh at her and keep his attention on me. The day after he tried to strangle me, I went to her house and showed her the marks on my neck. She asked what I’d done to provoke him and sent me right back to beg his forgiveness. She said she didn’t understand why such a handsome, mature man would want me and I’d better learn to behave myself.”
Abby stopped talking and concentrated on her hair. Jesse finally broke the silence. “So Earl’s good-looking?”
“In a too smooth, snake kind of way. He was always smiling when I first met him. God, how I hate that smile now. I started to as soon as I realized that it never made it to his eyes. When he looked at me, his eyes were always hard, judging me and finding me lacking.” Abby stared at her reflection. Her expression changed to horror as she covered her remaining hair with her hands. “Look at me. What have I done?”
“I think it’s called misplaced anger,” Jesse kept his tone light. “When I woke up and heard you in here, you giving yourself a haircut is just about the last thing I would have guessed that you were doing. Where’d you find those scissors?”
“I heard a maid in the hall and asked her for them.” Abby pulled the sides out straight. “I was watching you sleep and thinking about how much better I was feeling. I thought how nice it was to be in bed with your arm around me and I started getting mad at Earl for refusing to hold me. I didn’t want to wake you, so I got up and came in here. I flipped my braid back over my shoulder after I washed my face and decided there was no way I was marrying you with Earl’s hair. So I got the scissors and started cutting it.”
“Whoa, back up a second,” Jesse interrupted. “What did you just say?”
Abby turned away from the mirror and faced him, uncertainty written all over her features. “I said that I wasn’t going to marry you looking the way Earl always wanted me to.”
Jesse felt his smile grow. “You mean it? You’re really going to marry me?”
“If you’re sure you want to.” Abby dropped her gaze. “On the plane this morning I was thinking about how I should get married right away if I ever met a guy that I could trust, one who honestly cared about me. I decided that if it was right between us, he would agree to do that first and then date after. When you told me about that cosmic stuff and letting fate control our destiny, I don’t know. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe Earl caused me to lose my mind completely but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted you to be serious when you said you’d marry me tomorrow. I got to thinking. Maybe karma rewarded me with you for living through Earl. But I guess getting married is out now that I made it impossible to go out in public with this hair. They were right. I really am too stupid to live.”
Jesse lifted Abby’s chin with one finger and brushed her lips with a tender kiss. “Hardly. I think I’m the luckiest man in the world. Some days I’d get so down, thinking I was never going to find you. I watched my closest friends find their soulmates, one after the other, and I wanted the same thing for myself. My brother has been with the same girl since eighth grade. My cousin, Holly went after Dwayne her senior year of college. She always insisted she knew they’d stay together the first time she saw him, before she even knew who he was.”
He kissed her again, slightly longer this time. “Are you sure, Abby? I need you to think about what you’ve been through in the last five years with Earl. I want you to be very honest with yourself and decide if you want to marry me because I’m me or because you know I’ll protect you from him. You haven’t said anything and I should have asked sooner but I’m guessing he’s going to be coming after you. Even if you change your mind and don’t want to marry me tomorrow, I’ll still be with you, keeping you safe. I’m willing to wait until this is resolved and you have a chance to relearn who you are. I’ll be spending every moment you let me with you, so you can see how serious I am about wanting a life with you.”
“I already believe you’re serious,” she whispered, looking suddenly concerned that he was about to back out of his proposal.
“Do you really? You won’t look me in the eye so I can’t see if you’re being honest or not. Logically, it’s wrong of me to want to do this so quickly for so many reasons but I’m not feeling very logical. I’m following my heart. I’m handing it over to you, asking for yours in return. I know I’ll cherish yours and treat it as the precious treasure it is. I won’t ever break your heart if you open it up to me, Abby. Can you honestly promise me the same thing? I don’t want you to marry me because you see me as the easiest solution to your problems. If you become my wife tomorrow, I’ll expect everything a marriage should be even though I know we have a tremendous amount of issues to work through. We’ll make the decisions about our future together. We’ll share both good and bad days. I won’t settle for anything less than total commitment from both of us.”
Jesse was petrified she’d decide she wasn’t ready for all he’d just said he wanted from her so he prevented her from answering immediately. “Think you’re up to Milo? I’m willing to bet he knows someone who can fix your hair. Want me to call him?”
“You don’t think he’d mind?” she asked.
“Nope. I think he’ll be honored to have us ask for his help.”
“Okay.” She turned back to the mirror. “What the hell was I thinking? I guess I shouldn’t be a bit surprised you don’t believe I’ve thought about my decision to marry you enough to be sure I’m doing the right thing. Go call him, Jesse. This discussion is far from over but we’ll finish it later.”
Jesse felt like a coward, hiding behind the excuse of her hair to delay her comments. Instead of letting himself dwell on it, he called Milo. “Hi, it’s Jesse from this morning.”
“Well hello, handsome. How’s our girl? I’ve been so worried since I left you earlier. I was hoping to hear from you.”
“Abby’s feeling better, thanks. We need a favor and I won’t beat around the bush asking for it.”
“Oh please, ask away. How can I help?”
“Well, it might be presumptuous of me and I don’t want to offen
d you but I was hoping you’d know someone who could fix Abby’s hair.”
“I’m sorry, what did you just say? Her hair is perfectly lovely. And why are you calling her Abby?”
“Because Jessica is her middle name. Her first name is Abigail. She used Jessie because she recently ended a relationship with a man who might not be willing to accept that it’s truly over between them. Traveling as Jessie will make it more difficult for him to locate her. She decided to change her appearance for the same reason and attempted to cut her hair herself but she isn’t satisfied with the results. Do you know someone, Milo?”
“Of course I do. I’ll just give him a jingle and see if he can squeeze her in.”
“Any chance you could persuade him to come here? Abby’s much better but not one hundred percent. I think she’ll stay more relaxed it she doesn’t have to get dressed and go out.”
“Be still my heart. I’m hoping that means that you’re not dressed either.”
“Behave yourself.”
“Oops. Sorry. Can’t blame me when you’re the one who sent my imagination into overdrive. Give me five minutes and I’ll get back to you with an answer.”
“Thanks. We appreciate this.”
“It’ll be my pleasure. After all, I’ll have to come along to show him where you are. Don’t feel you need to put on clothes on my account.”
“You’re impossible.” Jesse had to laugh.
“I know. It’s all part of my charm. Bye-bye, sweetie.”
Abby had listened to Jesse’s half of the conversation. “Is he bringing someone?”
“He’s going to call and see if he can arrange it. I hope you’re ready to defend my honor. I’m afraid Milo has a bit of a crush on me.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. He tried to pick me up in the airport this morning and has been persistent even though I said I’m not interested.”
“Can’t blame him for trying,” Abby declared. “Even though my head was making it impossible for me to think and that guy had me terrified I felt it too when you touched me this morning. I’m not surprised a gay man would think you’re hot, just like I do.”
“You really are feeling better, aren’t you?” Jesse liked the way she was teasing him.
“Yeah. It’s not completely gone but I can see and think again. It moved to the back of my head. I feel like it’s deciding if it wants to go away or is only giving me a break.”
The phone rang. “Hi there, gorgeous,” Milo greeted Jesse. “How’s half an hour for you? Petey said he’d be glad to sort out Abby’s hair. He even promised to keep his hands off you. I told him it was okay to look though. I hope that’s all right with you.”
Jesse groaned. “I suppose so but I’m trusting that you’ll keep both of you under control.”
“If I must.” Milo gave an exaggerated sigh. “Harry wants to know if you want some dinner.”
“Let me ask. Abby’s been sipping a Coke all afternoon.” He relayed Milo’s offer. “Any chance of getting a couple plain grilled cheese sandwiches? You know, wheat bread and American cheese? Unflavored butter on the outside?”
“I’m sure Harry can manage that although he had something more tasty in mind.”
“Me too, but, for now, we’ll go with something Abby will be able to keep down. Tell Harry we’ll be in to see him as soon as she’s up to it.”
“Can do, hot stuff. Be there in a jif. Smooches.”
Abby was giggling at Jesse’s expression. “I take it Milo’s friend is only cutting my hair so he can meet you.”
“You guessed it.” Jesse was fascinated by the difference in her.
“You’re so sweet, sacrificing yourself like this. I hope they won’t be too disappointed when they hear you’re already spoken for. You are spoken for. I know we’re going to spend a lot of time on this after they leave but I’m positive I made the right decision. Promise to let me say what I need to say later?”
“I’ll always listen to you.” Jesse couldn’t contain his smile. This time, she returned it. He was about to kiss her when his phone rang again.
“If Earp thinks I’m coming back here again, he’s out of his fucking mind.” Frank didn’t bother with a hello.
“Finally,” Jesse stated. “Someone gets it. So how bad is he?”
“He is undeniably the biggest asshole in the world. If this is his good behavior, I’m honestly surprised you haven’t killed him. Hell, I’m ready to and I was only here three hours. I even have a plan on how we can get away with it. Are you in?”
“That’s so tempting. But I’m a little tied up at the moment.”
“Too bad. Maybe I’ll do it on my own anyway. How’s Abby? Judging by the sound of you, she’s got to be feeling better.”
“Pretty much. She got some sleep after you left. Are you on your way back?”
“Soon. Need something?”
“Nope, we’re set. Stop in before you head for your room. The guy who helped out this morning is bringing Abby a grilled cheese and I think you should meet him.”
“Will do.”
“You are so bad.” Abby wrapped her arms around Jesse’s waist.
“Yeah but it’ll get their attention away from me.” Jesse grinned wickedly. “I need to get dressed for real before they get here.”
“Think you’ll be too distracting? I doubt if my hair could look any worse than it already does.”
“I don’t know. It looks kind of bohemian like this. Maybe you could start a new fad.” Jesse ruffled her hair, amazed she was joking like this.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” She turned serious. “Thanks for not laughing at me. I think I went a little nuts for a few minutes there.”
“And I think you just needed to get rid of some of the anger that you were feeling.”
“Maybe. If you weren’t such a honorable guy, we could have used up that energy having sex.” Abby ran her hands up his chest and looped them around his neck. “But I do agree with why you stopped us. I should thank you for doing that. You were right.”
“Abby, if you really mean that, why are you teasing me?”
“Because,” she said, nibbling on his neck, “I can see again and I’ve noticed how sexy your chest is. So you know, we may not have sex tonight but I’m not going to sleep tonight without exploring you.” Jesse groaned. “Of course you’re welcome to do the same with me. If you want to.”
“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? You want me to be hard when Milo and his buddy show up. You want them to see me like this.”
“Why is them seeing that you desire me any different from what you said about Alyssa earlier?”
“I guess it’s not really but Alyssa isn’t interested in me. If Milo’s not putting me on, they are.”
“Oh. I didn’t think of it that way.” She shrugged. “They’ll just have to be jealous of me then, won’t they?”
“I’m sure they will be.”
Abby had her hand on his cheek. “When did you shave?”
“The first time you fell asleep. I didn’t bother this morning and I know I scraped you earlier. Your skin is so delicate.”
She finally realized he meant the skin on her breasts. “Does that mean you were planning on resting your head against me again?”
“No. Your face is just as soft. I thought you might let me hold you again and I didn’t want to scrape you there either.”
“Hmm, thanks, I guess. Maybe I should mention that I think the slightly rugged look is as hot as the clean-shaven look.”
“Stop teasing me, Abby.” He pulled a pair of jeans from his bag. “I’m going to have trouble zipping these if you don’t.”
She watched openly as he stepped out of his sweatpants. “I’d offer to help but I already know your answer. Why did you let me touch you earlier?”
“Because I was so surprised when you did it that I wasn’t thinking,” he admitted honestly. “And I liked the feel of your hand covering me.”
“That’s not fair. You know
I didn’t really know what I was doing so I didn’t get to enjoy it.”
“Don’t pout, Ab. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to touch me all you want. Maybe it’s my turn to mention something to you. The way you described Earl. I’m nothing like that. I’m more of an any time, any place, any way you want kind of guy. After today, I can guarantee I won’t stop you ever again.”
“Good to know. Same goes for me.” Abby giggled nervously. “God I can’t believe this. I didn’t think I’d ever be horny again. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life the way the last few years have been. I used to feel desirable, before Earl, and I’m amazed that one day with you woke that part of me up again.”
“I’m looking forward to getting to know that side of you much better,” Jesse stated as he pulled on his shoes. He didn’t want either man to get the impression that he was teasing them in any way. Milo seemed bold enough but Jesse couldn’t tell if he really was or if it was an act. Either way, he didn’t want any hurt feelings. If Abby decided not to marry him and took the job in Harry’s restaurant, he didn’t want it to be uncomfortable for any of them since he would be visiting often. He had been thinking of looking for a place in the little town near his friends but he was willing to move here if this was where Abby was. He had to agree. The changes that today started were truly amazing.
Chapter Nine
“This’ll be Shelby,” Frank said when his phone buzzed. He stopped scowling at Jesse as he answered. “Hey, Shelb, how’s Pop today?”
“Cheerful.” Shelby’s voice echoed her comment. “He got such a kick out my column. I think he’s enjoying the celebrity status it earned him in the home. He’s not so anxious to get out right away.”
“Great. That has to have eased some of Nana’s worries.” Frank could hear her relief.
Karma Page 7
