“Damned if I know. Never happened before,” he admitted. “I’ve heard it was possible but I haven’t shared the experience to date. I wish we hadn’t been interrupted.”
“M-me too.” Abby’s head lowered even farther.
“Hey don’t hide. Not from this. Gods, Ab! You’re already so much better than any of my fantasies. As you can guess, I have a bit of a thing for breasts. It’s not about size really, although I do love what you’ve got. It’s more about sensitivity. It’s such a turn-on when a woman responds to my touch. I could literally devote hours enjoying what we were doing but the women I’ve been with were unwilling to indulge me. Too impatient.”
“Oh my God.” She hid behind her hand.
“Damn, that was tactless of me. Poor taste, talking about former partners when one is beginning a new relationship. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. It just feels like I can tell you anything.”
“No. I mean, that’s not it. It’s just, ah…”
“I can barely hear you, precious. Please stop hiding from me.”
Timidly, she met his gaze, blushing furiously. “I was going to ask if you really meant that. When you said that you’d spend hours?”
“Hell yes!”
“It’s just that… I mean… Before Earl, I always wanted to be played with but the guys then had other things in mind.”
Jesse’s face split into a grin. “No fucking way. I’m in heaven! A super sexy outlaw with the most luscious breasts I’ve ever encountered and she wants me to give them unlimited attention. Christ woman, we were made for each other.”
“We could, um… After we eat… I mean…”
“We could pick up where we left off?”
“Yeah.” She was hiding again.
“As much as I would love to do just that, we have to put it on hold for just a little while. Does talking about this embarrass you?” She nodded. “Why?”
“Well, because, um… It’s not…”
“Earl thought it was inappropriate to express desire and refuse to discuss what pleasures you could share?”
Another nod.
“Please look at me. So you can see how serious I am.” He waited. “You never have to be embarrassed about anything with me. I want to know what you like and don’t like, what you want me to do, what you want to do. I’d hate to find out in ten years that you always wanted to try something and I never guessed it. I don’t want to hide my desires from you. I am not Earl. I think it would be sexy as hell to take you to dinner and spend the entire meal discussing what we’re going to do for our mutual pleasure once we left the restaurant. That’s another fantasy of mine. Finding a woman open enough to have verbal foreplay with me would be so hot.”
She sighed. “I wasn’t always like this.”
“Then this is another bit of Earl’s handiwork we’ll have to undo. Feel free to experiment any time.”
“Are you always like this?”
“No, can’t say I am. Must be you.”
“What do I say to that?”
“You don’t have to say anything. Or you can say lots of things. I’m extremely interested in your thoughts but don’t feel you have to make conversation. Somehow, I don’t think the silences between us are going to be at all uncomfortable. We won’t need to fill them.”
“Are you real?”
“Do you really need to ask that?”
“Maybe I’m unconscious and hallucinating and I made you up to keep me company before Earl kills me.”
“Then please don’t ever wake up. I could be wrong, Abs, but it sure felt like we were both real a few minutes ago.”
She smiled tentatively. “It’s going to take a while before I stop reacting like he conditioned me to, isn’t it?”
“Probably, but I’m not going anywhere. Might be fun watching you relearn yourself.”
“Why?”
“Because I already know you’re one hell of a woman inside that shell Earl forced you in to. The little glimpses I’ve had so far are fascinating. The relaxed, unguarded, confident version of you is going to be incredible. You just need to find a way to let that girl resurface from wherever she’s been hiding. I know you tucked her away to keep her safe until you met me and could let her out again. Well here I am. I’m looking forward to seeing you as you really are once you shake off Earl’s influence. I just became the luckiest man in the world, finally finding you. Or I will be if you’re still here in an hour.”
“Oh. Okay. I guess you’re ready to talk now.”
Chapter Thirteen
Abby’s composure faltered as he watched. She had been through so much already. It wasn’t fair of him to heap his own emotional baggage on top of hers. But she kept reaching for him. Thank God the waiter had arrived when he did. As much as he wanted to finish what they’d started, he couldn’t until she knew the worst about him. So far all she knew was that he installed warehouse security systems invented by his eccentric but brilliant cousin, that he came from a close family and that he believed in fate. How would she react when he told her of the violence he was capable of? More than anything, he wanted to deny that part of him existed. But it did and she had a right to know all about him before they got any more involved.
“I’m afraid so.” Jesse sighed. “I need you to know who I am. But first, promise that you won’t hide your reaction. I want to know what you’re thinking. If you have a question, stop me and ask.”
“Okay,” she agreed too quickly.
“I mean it.”
“Okay. All right. Jeez, you’d think you killed somebody or something with the way…” Abby’s sentence evaporated at the expression on his face. “Oh my God, you did kill somebody.” She seemed to shrink into herself even though she hadn’t moved.
“Two somebodies actually,” he said evenly. “But there’s a lot that led up to that point in my life. Will you let me explain?”
“Go ahead,” she said numbly.
He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself and drew back inside her shell. She isolated herself completely. It broke his heart, knowing that he might never see her unguarded smile. His history could drive an immovable wedge between them if her first reaction was also her final one. But still, he owed her an explanation. He only hoped that she would let herself see all of who he was, not just what he had been forced to do.
“I have to start long before that. So you can see how I got there. I promise I’ll get to the point as quickly as possible and I’ll be entirely honest about everything.” He waited but Abby didn’t respond. Her eyes were focused on his throat. Looking at him just enough not to appear to be hiding but not really seeing him at all.
“My whole life has revolved around family. We’re very close in a weird sort of way. We’re not exactly typical but it works for us.” He told her what it was like growing up with his brother and cousins.
“The things our parents taught us about being responsible as kids carried over into our lives as adults. I think that influenced Frank’s decision to join the army. I was a criminal justice major in college. Wyatt invents things that will probably save the world one day. Holly volunteers at the free clinic most Sundays while her husband is there, offering pro bono legal assistance.
“I lived in Frank and Shelby’s spare room for two years while Frank was in the army and Shelby and I were in college. He asked me to so I could take care of her while he was away. I think she did a lot more for me, though, than I ever did for her. She was the one who explained confusing girl issues to me. Gods, that woman has the patience of a saint! I don’t know how many times I’d come in after a date, mixed up as hell by things some girl had said to me. She’s the one who really made me see the importance of caring instead of merely lusting.
“I was very lucky to have Frank as my big brother. His example showed me so much about being a good man, even more than my dad did. Plus he shared the things he learned in the army too, how to shoot and have respect for guns, how to observe and get a feel for a situation. And watching him with Shelby h
ad been amazing since the very first day. I’ve always wanted the kind of relationship they have.
“And then there’s Wyatt. When I graduated from college, he invited me to work with him. I have no idea what he really does. I just know that, if it involves technology, he can do it. He invents things. He tweaks things. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t think I even want to know. I’m grateful that he is an honestly good guy and that he’s out there, taking care of the world for us. I’m sure I’d be scared to death if I knew all the details of his work.”
Jesse paused at the expression on Abby’s face. “Damn, I got sidetracked. I started where I did so you’d get a feel for the influences in my life. And I guess I was trying to show you the differences between me, Frank and Wyatt. If you’re in need of physical protection, Frank and I can stop just about anything. If you need technology or information to keep you safe, Wyatt will have it before you finish asking. Earlier, when he asked you to repeat your name he was starting a voiceprint file in case he ever needs to verify it’s really you on the phone. It’s part of his way of taking care of you. If you accept us as a group, no one could do better at protecting you than we could.”
“Wyatt said that,” she stated, surprising him. “Over the phone. He said I should keep it so he feels useful since he’s scrawny compared to you and Frank.”
“Ah, so that’s how he got you to agree so easily. If he’d given it to you in person, he would have added the sad puppy-dog eyes. Abby, will you let me ask Wyatt to do something to make it more difficult for Earl to trace you?”
“What?”
“Delete your name from the passenger list. You landed safely so it won’t cause any kind of repercussions.”
“He could really do that and they wouldn’t know?”
“Positively. Can I call him? I’m sure he’s wondering how you’re feeling but doesn’t want to disturb us.”
She hesitated. She had been listening to him speak with an accepting expression but she was back to looking confused again as if she wasn’t sure whether or not she trusted him to honestly help.
“I guess, if you’re sure Wyatt won’t get in any trouble.”
“I’d like to call him now, just in case Earl already knows you’re gone.” He didn’t dial until she nodded. “Hey cuz, got a sec for a little project?”
“Depends.”
“It’s for Abby, not me.”
“That’s different. What’s she need?”
“A little modification to the airline passenger list. To cover her tracks. Make it harder to trace her.”
“So he is going to be looking for her.”
“Probably sooner than later.”
“Consider it done. How’s she feeling?”
“Better. We’re talking at the moment.”
“Her life or yours?”
“Both.”
“Think she’ll stay?”
“Too soon to call it.”
“Damn. I liked the way she sounds. Need help?”
“Probably but I don’t know what to ask for.”
“Can I say hi?”
“Abby, Wyatt wants to know if you have a minute for him.” He was afraid she’d refuse but eventually she reached for the phone.
“Hi, Wyatt. Need me to say anything in particular or should I just talk?”
“Huh?”
“Jesse told me about the other ways you take care of people. What do you want me to say so you have what you need for that voice thing you make?”
“He told you?”
“Should I be afraid of you guys? I can’t tell who is okay to trust anymore. Are you and your cousins pretending to help me out of one mess only to coax me into a worse one? If you are, just do it and get it over with, okay? I’m too tired to fight back so if you’re someone evil, just get to the point and do whatever it is you have planned. You don’t have to waste your energy concocting some elaborate scenario to draw me in. Just go ahead and tell me how I’m going to end up so we can get on with it.”
“Abby.” Wyatt sounded almost panicked. “I’m sorry you’re worried about the possibility that Jesse isn’t what he seems. I’m a little surprised he told you about the voiceprints I keep and that it makes you suspect me. I guess he told you because he wants you to know him. I assume that means he also outlined his cosmic plan theory. And that he thinks the two of you are linked by fate.”
“You got it. So what’s it gonna be? If you’re considering using me for spare parts, you may as well just forget about it. I’m not in any condition for that sort of thing.”
“Spare parts?”
“For whatever you’re experimenting with. I’m only a little above average IQ-wise so you don’t want my brain. I get colds every year so my immune system is nothing special. I’m overweight so my body probably won’t cooperate if you want to tack parts of it onto someone else’s. I’ve taken so much medication for my migraines that my organs must be damaged to some extent. Let’s face it. I’m not what you’re looking for. I wouldn’t even make a good stew.”
“Jesse told you that I’m a mad scientist?”
“Of course not. He said you’re a genius who is going to save the world, if you haven’t already and that you’re also a sweetheart but you don’t let it show. And that you can change the plane list so I’m not on it. He thinks you’re already hooked up and waiting for him to ask you to erase me. Tell me, Wyatt can you erase the last five years of my life too? Can you push a button and get me back to where I was before I let myself get into this mess?”
“I wish I could. Sorry but I haven’t mastered time travel yet.”
“Well now there’s a possible use for me. You can build some sort of gizmo and I’ll hop in and see if it works.”
“No can do. Might backfire and I’m not willing to risk you. Got other plans for you anyway.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Gonna make my cousin keep you so I get to talk with you. Your thought process is unusual.”
“Hey that’s a line I never heard before. Does it work for you?”
“Never tried it on anyone else. Think I should?”
“I’m the last person you should be asking.”
“What’s his name? The guy who messed you up so badly.”
“Gee, I figured you already knew that. Or are you just humoring me by asking?”
“I’m humoring you,” he admitted.
“As I said, you’re wasting your time beating a dead horse. You going to tell Earl where I am?”
“Never.”
“You going to steal my identity? Not that it would do you much good. I doubt if I could even get a credit card at this point.”
“Want one? It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
“No thanks. Couldn’t pay the bills anyway since I’m currently unemployed.”
“Want a Swiss bank account to go with it?”
“Um, maybe some other time. Wiping out my name is more than enough. We done here? Have I rambled enough so you have me identified?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Bye, Wyatt. Don’t forget about me when you have that time machine ready. Here’s Jesse.”
“You should feel flattered. You got to be a mad scientist capable of perfecting time travel. I was only a serial killer who served his victims at the soup kitchen.”
“She’s interesting. Got spunk. Feisty. She’ll fit with us.”
“That’s what I think too.”
“Did she pick a password? She had me so distracted I forgot to ask.”
“Wyatt wants to know what you want to use as your password.”
“You pick it,” Abby muttered.
“She says I should choose for her so let’s use outlaw.”
“Not very original.”
“Is if you look at it the right way. I stole her ride at the airport and she stole my heart in Henderson’s office. No matter where we go from here, there’s no way for me to reclaim it. Nope, Wy. It’s hers forever.”
“Christ, I hate you guys when you g
et like this. Not an original thought from any of you. Why can’t you be more like the girls and interact better instead of regressing?”
“Guess we all have a one-track mind at this point. Later.”
“Yeah, yeah. Have Abby call if you need anything else.”
“I’m impressed. You managed to charm Wyatt,” Jesse declared. “He thinks you have spunk and would make a good addition to the family.” He realized she had been staring at her hands since her conversation with his cousin. “What’s wrong? What did he say to upset you again?”
“Nothing.” She sniffled.
“Then why are you back to not looking at me?”
“Didn’t you hear me? I was such a bitch.”
Jesse chuckled. “If that’s what you consider being a bitch, you really are the perfect woman. Abby, he enjoyed your comments. You just talked to him like Shelby does. You teased him instead of treating him like his mind makes him a freak. Wyatt makes most people uncomfortable. They know he’s different even without being told. They don’t know how to act around him so they either patronize him or stutter so much you can’t understand what they’re saying. Hell, he’s probably trying to come up with a time machine as we speak.”
“He knows all about me. He knows about Earl. How did he figure that out?”
“You told him your name and he knew what flight you were on. He really can access anything. But he will never use what he learned to hurt you. I’m sure he initially checked on who you are because he was protecting me.”
“Protecting you? From me?”
“Sure. What if you’re the one with the secret plan, out to get me? I haven’t told you about any of the jobs I’ve done for him but there might be someone willing to use me to get to him. The only way to harm Wyatt would be to hurt one of us.”
“Oh.” Abby wiped her eyes and glanced at him. “So who did you kill?”
“I’m getting to that. I need to finish telling you what led up to it if that’s okay.”
“As if I have a choice. You know I have to hear the rest of this.”
“Only if you want to. If you want me walk away this second and never bother you again, I’ll go.”
“I thought you said you were going to keep me safe.”
Karma Page 12
