by Sarah Morgan
Lucy swallowed. ‘You’re wrong.’
Tina frowned. ‘He didn’t say anything to you last night?’
‘No.’
‘What about this morning when you woke up?’
Lucy blushed. ‘You woke us up.’
‘Oh, no!’ Tina pulled an apologetic face. ‘And you haven’t even had time to talk?’
Why was everyone so obsessed with talking? She couldn’t see that there was anything to talk about.
Lucy put her coffee down and dredged up a smile. ‘Look—can we just leave it? Joel hasn’t led me on, Tina. I knew exactly what sort of man he was when I—when—’
‘When you let him make love to you.’ Tina nodded thoughtfully. ‘Well, don’t give up. If he hasn’t said those three little words yet, I’m quite sure he will. I’m sorry I came back when I did.’
After they’d finished their coffee Tina left, leaving Lucy to play with Sam.
But she couldn’t concentrate. All she could think about was Joel and the way he’d made her feel.
Even if she were to never see him again, she knew she could never regret what had happened between them.
How could she?
He’d aroused feelings in her that she hadn’t known she was capable of feeling. To have gone through life never knowing what true love felt like would have been incredibly sad.
But she knew now.
She knew exactly what true love felt like.
It was what she felt for Joel.
The asthma clinic was busier than ever, and Lucy saw a steady stream of patients right through until lunchtime.
‘I still can’t believe this is asthma.’ Mrs Lambert was back again, having had a bad attack the week before. ‘It’s just a chest infection.’
‘Has Dr Richard given you antibiotics?’
‘Two lots.’ Mrs Lambert sniffed. ‘The first lot didn’t work. Useless.’
Lucy gave a sympathetic smile. ‘And the second lot?’
‘Well, I’m feeling a lot better, but he insisted that I take steroids as well and increase my puffer.’ She looked appalled. ‘What do you think?’
Touched that Mrs Lambert trusted her so much, Lucy sat down next to her and took her hand.
‘The steroids are to settle the inflammation in your lungs,’ she explained. ‘It will help ease your breathing until the infection settles. Once your chest is better we need to look at you again and maybe decrease the amount you’re taking your puffers. But for now, keep doing what Dr Richard suggested.’
‘I tried to walk to the shops yesterday,’ Mrs Lambert told her. ‘I nearly breathed my last.’
‘The cold air will irritate your lungs. If you need to go out, wear a scarf over your mouth, and when you’re indoors keep the heating on so that you’re not breathing in cold air.’
Mrs Lambert frowned. ‘What? Even at night?’
Lucy smiled. ‘Yes, at night. It doesn’t have to be high, just enough to take the chill away from the air that you’re breathing in.’
‘I suppose you’re going to tell me not to go out next!’
Lucy shook her head. ‘I think while you have a chest infection and it’s this cold you’d be better off indoors if you can, but generally it’s good to exercise when you have asthma. Exercising regularly can actually help your asthma improve. Walking is great. So is swimming.’
‘Swimming!’ Mrs Lambert looked at her in horror and then started to laugh. ‘Have you any idea what I look like in a swimming costume?’
Lucy laughed too and gave her an impulsive hug. ‘I bet you look great, Annie.’
They talked some more, and once Lucy was satisfied that Annie understood why she needed to increase her puffers she walked with her back to the waiting room.
‘Results for you, Lucy.’ Ros waved a handful of forms and Lucy took them and wandered back to the treatment room, reading them carefully.
Halfway down the pile was Penny’s chlamydia result, and she noticed that it was positive.
Bother.
Worried that Penny might have been exposed to other infections that she hadn’t been able to screen for, Lucy made a mental note to have one more attempt at trying to persuade her to attend the sexual health clinic.
Knowing that she needed to discuss the case with Joel, she braced herself and tapped on his door.
She hadn’t seen him since Tina had disturbed them, and she was trying not to feel disappointed that he hadn’t tapped on her door. She’d known the score. There was no point in moping about it.
Hearing his voice, she lifted her chin and walked in, armed with Penny’s results.
He looked up from his computer, his expression difficult to read. ‘Good morning.’
‘I—good morning—Penny tested positive for chlamydia,’ she said quickly, and he nodded.
‘All right. Well, when she calls in for the result, ask her to make an appointment to see me. I’ll give her a gram of azithromicin.’
‘Do we need to swab her again to check that the antibiotics have worked?’
Joel shook his head. ‘Not unless she’s still got symptoms. But of course we don’t know what else the girl might have caught. When I see her I’ll try and persuade her to go to the clinic.’ He stared at her for a long moment and then he gave a hesitant smile. ‘Lucy, we really need to talk. About us being friends—’
‘It’s what we both want, Joel, you know that,’ she said quickly, backing towards the door and glancing at her watch. ‘Sam’s going to a friend’s to play after school so I’m working late today. Give me a knock when you get home.’
With that she left the room, uncomfortably aware that there was a tension between them that hadn’t been there before.
Friends.
Joel couldn’t believe that Lucy still only wanted to be friends after what they’d shared.
Had their night together really meant so little to her?
He’d made love plenty of times before, but he’d never experienced anything like the intensity of feeling he’d shared with Lucy.
So what did that mean?
He still wasn’t sure, but he knew that it had nothing to do with friendship.
Joel looked up in surprise as Nick stormed into the room without knocking.
‘Now what?’ He looked at his brother with a weary smile, guessing what was coming.
Nick planted his fists on the desk and glared at him menacingly. ‘Tina said you spent the night with Lucy on Saturday.’
Joel was silent for a moment and when he finally spoke his voice was soft. ‘That is none of your business.’
‘So it’s true.’ Nick shook his head in disbelief, a look of contempt in his eyes. ‘Dammit, Joel, we warned you! How could you, man? She’s a child!’
‘She is not a child.’ Joel remembered the soft curves and her incredibly excited response to his love-making. ‘Inexperienced, maybe. A child, most definitely not.’
‘Well, I hope you’re pleased with yourself.’ Nick glared at him. ‘What was she? Just one more notch on your bedpost? You make me sick!’
‘Hold on a moment.’ Joel shot to his feet in a lithe movement, his voice a low growl as he struggled with his temper. ‘She was not a notch on my bedpost.’
Nick lifted an eyebrow. ‘No? What was she, then?’
The two brothers glared at each other and Joel swore under his breath.
‘I didn’t do anything she didn’t want—’
Nick made an impatient sound. ‘But you made her want it, Joel! You can charm the birds from the trees. I can’t believe you used Lucy like that.’
Joel gritted his teeth. ‘I did not use her!’
‘You’re telling me you want a proper relationship with her?’
Joel stared at his brother and then sat back down in his chair with a thump, realising with startling clarity that that was exactly what he wanted.
‘There’s nothing I’d like more,’ he said wearily, a wry smile touching his mouth as he registered the astonishment on his brother’s face. ‘Ironic,
isn’t it? I finally meet Miss Right and she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Or, to be more precise, she just wants to be my friend.’
Nick was staring at him in stunned silence. ‘After what happened at the weekend, she just wants to be your friend? Are you serious?’
‘Completely serious.’ Joel ran a hand over his face and sighed. ‘And I don’t know how to handle it, Nick.’
The anger faded from his brother’s face, to be replaced by a hint of amusement. ‘Are you seriously telling me that you’ve finally fallen for someone?’
Joel gave him a resigned look. ‘Go ahead. Laugh.’
Nick shook his head slowly. ‘I’m not laughing, I’m delighted. You couldn’t have picked a better person to fall in love with—’
‘Hold it.’ Joel lifted a hand and interrupted him. ‘Aren’t you forgetting something here? I might be in love with her, but she certainly isn’t in love with me. She doesn’t want any more than friendship.’
Nick looked at him doubtfully. ‘Are you sure you’ve got that right?’
‘It’s been her most commonly used word since Saturday night,’ Joel drawled softly, tapping his fingers on the desk and trying to conceal just how unsettled and frustrated he was by the situation.
Nick frowned. ‘You told her that you love her but she said that she wasn’t interested in being anything but your friend?’
There was a long silence and then Joel cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. ‘Well, I may not have actually said that I love her. At least, not in so many words, but—’
‘OK, hold it right there!’ Nick lifted a hand and stopped him in mid-flow. ‘If you didn’t actually tell her that you love her, how do you expect the girl to know?’
Joel rubbed a hand over his jaw. ‘Well, I don’t know. I suppose—’
‘Joel!’ Nick’s tone was exasperated. ‘It’s just three little words. Are they really so hard to say?’
Joel looked at him. ‘I don’t know,’ he said softly. ‘I’ve never tried. And I don’t see the point now. Lucy’s made it clear that she just wants us to be friends.’
‘How can you be so totally blind?’ Nick looked at him incredulously. ‘Lucy Bishop is the kindest, most unselfish person any of us have ever met and she knows that you’ve got a serious problem with commitment. If you haven’t actually told her that you love her she’s assuming that she doesn’t mean anything to you, and she doesn’t want to put pressure on you by confessing her own feelings.’
‘But—’
‘When have you ever been seriously involved with a woman before?’
‘Well, never, but—’
‘And does Lucy know that?’
Joel thought for a moment. ‘Yes. We had a long conversation about love. I admitted that I didn’t know what love was.’
Nick rolled his eyes. ‘There we are, then.’
Joel frowned. ‘But that was before we—’
‘Before you made love to her,’ Nick finished softly. ‘But you still haven’t ever said those words, have you? It’s time to tell her how you feel about her, Joel.’
Joel’s shoulders tensed. ‘But what if she doesn’t feel the same way? She was badly hurt by Tim. I don’t think she’s keen to get involved with another man.’
Nick sighed. ‘Joel, take it from me. The girl is in love with you. She’s crazy about you, but she seems to have accepted you the way you are and she’s putting on a brave face.’
‘But—’
‘Listen—take some brotherly advice for once in your life, will you?’ Nick took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. ‘Think long and hard about whether you really want to lose Lucy, because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t act quickly. Is one night with a woman like her really enough? Or even a hundred nights? Think, Joel! Because if you don’t drag her into your cave quickly, someone else is going to do it. And they’re going to do it soon. That girl is special, Joel. Really special.’
‘I know that—’
‘So come to your senses and ask her to marry you,’ Nick said, his expression bleak. ‘Before it’s too late.’
With that he turned on his heel, leaving Joel staring after him.
Was Nick right?
Did Lucy really love him?
And was he ready to make a proper commitment for the first time in his life?
He was still mulling over his feelings when the door crashed open again and Michael dashed into the room, his face strained.
‘Get yourself up to the hospital. Sam’s had a serious asthma attack.’
Lucy hovered, white-faced and anxious, as the A and E team worked on Sam.
Seeing him struggling with his breathing so badly had left her shaking with panic. But she knew that there was nothing she could do except wait and let the team do their job.
‘His resps are 55, pulse 140,’ the nurse announced, adjusting the oxygen mask on Sam’s face as she spoke.
Lucy stepped forward, unable to stay in the background any longer, and the doctor glanced at her, his expression sympathetic.
‘This must be very distressing for you, Mrs Bishop. Why don’t you wait in the relatives’ room?’ he suggested quietly, but she shook her head, appalled at the thought.
‘I can’t leave him.’
The doctor hesitated and then nodded. ‘All right, but if you change your mind…’ He turned his attention back to Sam.
‘His peak flow is less than forty per cent of his best reading and he’s exhausted. I want to give him IV aminophylline over twenty minutes and then we’ll set up a maintenance drip.’ He looked at Lucy. ‘Is he taking oral theophyllines?’
She shook her head and he turned back to the nurse. ‘So we’ll start with the loading dose and give him IV hydrocortisone as well. Have you called paeds?’
The nurse nodded. ‘They’re on their way.’
Lucy was shaking so badly she felt sick.
She could see just how severe the attack was. What if he didn’t survive?
She understood better than most that asthma could still be a life-threatening illness.
‘Lucy?’
She turned at the sound of her name and sagged with relief when she saw Joel standing in the doorway. He was out of breath and the expression on his face told her that he knew what had happened.
Michael must have told him. Dear Michael, who’d been by her side in the surgery when she’d taken the call from the mother of the friend that Sam had been playing with.
‘It’s Sam,’ she told him, choking on the words. ‘He’s—’ She broke off as tears clogged her throat, and Joel swore softly and strode into the room, pulling her against him and giving her a hug.
But he released her almost immediately and strode to Sam’s bedside, his blue eyes sharp.
‘What’s the situation here?’
‘Hi, there, Joel.’ The casualty officer gave him a brief smile and Joel’s face cleared.
‘Harry? God, I’m pleased it’s you.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘What’s happening?’
‘Well, he’s having a pretty severe attack.’ Harry handed Joel the chart, obviously not wanting to say too much in front of Sam. ‘I’ve just given a loading dose of aminophylline IV and we’re setting up a drip now.’
Joel looked up from the chart. ‘What are his sats like?’
‘All right, actually,’ the nurse said, checking the monitor. ‘Ninety-six per cent now.’
‘He’s responding to treatment,’ Harry murmured. ‘Keep up the high-flow oxygen—great.’
Two more doctors bustled into the room. Harry introduced them as the paediatricians and then discussed the case with them while Joel listened.
‘Do we know what caused it?’
They all looked at Lucy and she shook her head. ‘No. He was playing at a friend’s house.’
She couldn’t imagine what would have triggered such a severe attack.
They all worked together and finally they announced that he was well enough to be transferred to the ward.
Still desperately worried, Lucy caught Joel’s arm. ‘Will he be all right?’ She bit her lip. ‘I’ve lost track of what they’ve been saying.’
He slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. ‘He’s stable now and he’s improving all the time. They’re going to measure his peak flow every fifteen minutes for the time being and measure his sats. They’re trying to keep his oxygen saturation above ninety-two per cent, and so far it’s fine.’
Lucy tried not to look at Sam’s pale little face—or the oxygen mask—as they wheeled him to the paediatric ward.
As they settled Sam into a bed, she turned to look at Joel. ‘Thank you for coming.’
He gave her an odd look. ‘I came as soon as I heard. I’m sorry I wasn’t with you from the beginning. It must have been a nightmare.’
She nodded her head and then moved forward to hold Sam’s hand as they made him comfortable.
Joel crouched down in front of her and lowered his voice. ‘You’re as white as a sheet, Lucy. Why don’t you go and get yourself a coffee and I’ll stay with him?’
Lucy shook her head immediately. ‘I can’t leave him,’ she said firmly, and he gave a sigh.
‘In that case, let me bring a cup of coffee to you.’
Lucy looked at the nurse. ‘Is coffee allowed on the ward?’
The nurse hesitated. ‘Not generally, but you look as though you need one so I’ll turn a blind eye.’
Over the course of the evening Sam continued to improve, and when the lights went out on the ward Lucy stroked his arm gently.
‘What happened at your friend’s house, darling? What games did you play?’
He mumbled something and she moved the oxygen mask slightly so that she could hear him.
‘I said we didn’t really play a game. I cuddled the dog a lot.’
Lucy gasped and she and Joel exchanged glances.
‘A dog.’ The nurse came up behind them and nodded. ‘All right, now we know what the little chap has to avoid in the future.’
‘None of his friends in London had a dog,’ Lucy said. ‘I didn’t even know it was a problem.’
