As they rode, Tom told her about his time in America. She was most impressed by how well he had done in his business dealings. However, if he thought she was fooled into thinking he had led a life of innocence and purity, he was mistaken.
They came to a clearing by the river that ran through the estate. It was beautiful, with a weeping willow kissing the babbling water and the sun glinting off the surface of the river. Deciding it was a good time to rest the horses, they made their way toward it.
Tom jumped down and led his horse to the water, tethering him at a branch, then moved to Caroline. Without a word, he held his arms up and she leaned down to grasp his shoulders, delighted in the feel of his muscles bunching as he lifted her to the ground.
He lowered her slowly, as if relishing having her in his arms. Though perhaps that was just wishful thinking.
"So, this plan of yours," Tom said, and the glint in his eyes coupled with his firm hold on her waist was enough to shorten Caroline's breath dramatically.
Caroline did her utmost to appear aloof, alluring, and altogether sophisticated. Which was more than a little difficult since she couldn't even breathe around the man, let alone think.
"What of it?" she asked flirtatiously, though her voice was far squeakier than she would have liked.
"I think it's high time you let me in on it. Especially since I can think of nothing else. I'm intrigued," he finished, his eyes boring in to hers.
Alright, Caroline. This is it. Take a deep breath and tell him. And stop being distracted by how blue his eyes are and how wonderful he smells and—
"Caroline?" Tom prompted her.
"I have decided," she blurted out before he could distract her again, "that before I settle into my life as a boring Society wife, I should treat myself to a little fun."
His eyebrow rose, causing a lock of his dark blond hair to fall across his brow and Caroline resisted the urge to brush it back into place
"Your reputation from America has become quite the talk of the ton, and since I already know that you kiss very well—" here she felt her cheeks flame but carried on regardless— "I have decided that I would like to have that fun with you. If you are agreeable?"
Caroline took in a huge breath, her heart racing as if she had run a mile, and waited for his answer.
She watched the play of emotions across his face — surprise, what looked like anger, and then something she did not recognise before he once again became a total rakish predator.
This was what she had wanted.
Her skin heated in response to that smouldering look. Her knees weakened deliciously.
Tom stepped forward until their bodies were fused together. With one hand he cupped her chin and tilted her face up.
Caroline licked her lips nervously and saw his eyes darken in response.
He has not answered me, she thought distractedly before his lips dropped to claim her mouth in a searing kiss.
This was all the answer she needed.
His kiss consumed her from the first touch of his lips. She pressed against him, her hands tangling in his hair, knowing that she must seem like a total wanton but she could not bring herself to be sorry or even to care.
On and on it went until Caroline felt as though she had died and gone to heaven. Surely heaven itself would not feel so wonderful.
After what seemed like hours and mere seconds all at once, Tom pulled back and set her gently away from his body.
Caroline opened her eyes, knowing her own were probably glazed with passion and not caring a jot.
They gazed at each other for what seemed like an age.
Finally, he spoke.
"My answer," he said, his voice rich and deep, "is no."
Caroline felt as if she had been slapped.
She reared back in shock, the haze of desire doused as if she had been showered in icy water.
"What?" she sputtered. It made no sense. Not after that kiss.
Tom looked down at her, his expression a mask, his jaw clenched.
"I said, no."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
TOM TURNED AWAY because he could not bear to see the look of hurt in her eyes.
But more than that, he did not think he had the strength to refuse her a second time.
Where he had found the strength to say 'no' in the first place, only God knew.
He had been completely taken aback at her bold request and was not ashamed to admit it had been incredibly flattering and had filled him with raging lust.
He could not help but kiss her.
"No?" she screeched. "Why the hell not?"
He nearly fell over hearing her swear. But he stood his ground.
Drawing himself up to his full height, he turned back around and uttered rather piously, "I am not a piece of meat, Caroline."
Her mouth dropped open at his set down but he ignored her and turned away to tend to Brutus.
He knew Caroline Carrington, knew how proper she was, knew how much pride she had. It would have taken a lot of courage and a very real desire for scandal to have said what she did.
And in the face of such boldness, which he found completely irresistible, he had kissed her.
He could no more have kept from kissing her than he could keep the sun from setting.
But what she was asking? It was madness, utter madness. And it was something that neither one of them would come away from unscathed.
When he had played along with her joke about plans, he had no idea what she was going to ask.
There had been a part of him that had thought, hoped even, that she was going to say—
Well, it mattered not. He had been foolish to entertain thoughts of the impossible.
He was a confirmed bachelor anyhow, wasn't he?
And that was the problem.
Caroline wanted a taste of scandal before she found herself someone appropriate. Someone like the men Rebecca had forced him to invite next week.
So Tom still wasn't good enough to be a husband.
And though he had told her that he had no intention of ever marrying again, it still hurt that she would not see him as worthy.
Then there was her reputation which she seemed not to care overly much about. But he did not want to see her hurt or to see her reputation stained in anyway.
That was why he had taken such pains to smooth over her night of drunkenness and that was why he would not agree to her crazy scheme.
If word got out amongst the ton, all of those men she deemed worthy would deem her to be unworthy.
All for the sake of a couple of weeks' mischief.
No, he would not be a party to her ruin. She would only come to regret it.
And Tom had lived with such overwhelming regret and pain for the last two years that he would never wish the same on anyone.
Especially someone he l— cared for.
A sound drew his attention and he turned to see Caroline trying to get herself back onto Fortuna.
No doubt she was trying to storm away. But since Fortuna was far too large for Caroline to be able to reach the stirrups alone, all she had managed to achieve was to be halfway up the horse, with one foot in the stirrup and the other dangling uselessly as her arms clearly did not have the strength to continue pulling.
"Er—what exactly are you doing?" he asked politely.
"Minding my own business," she snapped back, "you should try it."
Ah, she was still upset.
He didn't think he'd ever seen her in a rage before. It was most amusing.
"Let me help you," he tried again.
With a huff, she gave up on the frankly impossible task of mounting her horse alone.
She whipped round to face him, her face red from the exertion of scaling a horse, her eyes flashing fire.
"Oh, now you want to help?" she drawled sarcastically. "Well, no thank you. You have made your feelings on helping me perfectly clear."
Tom felt his temper rise to match her own.
"I cannot believe that
you are angry with me for trying to preserve your reputation."
"Hang my reputation!" she shouted now.
"Hang it, indeed. You forget I know you Caroline, and I know that you may speak as if you do not care, but I was there the night you decided that your reputation was more important to you than anything else in the world, remember?"
His outburst brought an abrupt stop to her ranting and there was a deadly silence between them both.
Had he thought that his words had taken the sting out of her mood? That she would apologise and say that he was right?
He watched as she bowed her golden head and he waited for her to lift it again, to see her eyes filled with contrition.
Lift her head she did, but her eyes were glinting with determination now. Not contrition.
He was immediately suspicious.
"I have told you before, I am well aware of what I did two years ago. And what it cost me."
His heart slammed at her words. Was she saying that she regretted it? That she felt she had lost him?
When all it would take was a word from her?
Before he could speak, however, she continued.
"I am prepared to live with the choices I have made. And live with them I will. I will become everything I thought I wanted to be and I will do so with good grace, as all ladies do."
She sounded now much more like the Caroline of old and he felt a certain relief at it. This new Caroline kept him constantly wrong-footed and it wasn't a feeling he liked.
"However," she continued, a hard edge to her voice now, "I am still absolutely determined to enjoy a little scandal before that happens. And if you won't help me I will find someone who will."
A rage such as Tom had rarely felt burst through him at her words. The thought of her kissing another man as she had been kissing him just moments before was enough to make him want to hit something.
"Like hell you will," he growled.
She raised a disdainful brow.
"And who will stop me?"
She was goading him. He knew it. He knew that he should not rise to it. Knew that she was probably calling his bluff.
And yet…
What if she were true to her word? What if she meant to give another man her smiles, her laughs, her kisses?
He'd be damned to hell before he allowed that to happen.
Looking her dead in the eye, he reached out and grabbed her to him.
Her eyes widened but rather than fear, they held unbridled passion and excitement. And it was his undoing.
"Me," he finally answered before once again crushing her lips beneath his own.
Caroline felt a burst of pride that her machinations had worked before her thoughts were flung every which way by the feel of his lips once again upon hers.
She had been so shocked when he had refused. So sure in his agreement that he had taken her completely by surprise.
The hurt had been swiftly followed by anger, anger at him for saying 'no' and anger at herself for putting herself into such a vulnerable position.
But she had been so sure of his attraction!
And then, a memory of a previous conversation with Rebecca had popped into her head.
Though Caroline had doubted it, Rebecca had told her there were a few sure-fire ways to get a man to do exactly as you wanted. Most of them, she refused to discuss with her unmarried sister. One of them however, had been to make him jealous. To make him believe that another man could fill his shoes.
Well, Caroline thought, she might as well try since she had nothing to lose. And though she had no intentions of or desire to kiss another man, Tom did not know that. Nor did he need to.
Surprisingly, it had worked. And now here he was, giving her exactly what she wanted.
This time Caroline was the one to end the kiss. Not that she wanted to. But she wanted to make sure he wasn't trying to trick her.
"So you will help me?" she asked him, watching closely for signs of trickery.
Tom sighed in resignation.
"If helping you means keeping some other bast— man's hands off you, and getting to do this, how can I refuse?"
Caroline smiled in triumph.
But rather than smile back, Tom frowned.
"I hope you realise what you're asking, Caroline. You are an innocent. I do not want you getting into something that is too much for you. And I do not want anyone finding out about this. If you do not care enough about your reputation, I do. And I will not see you throw it away on a whim because you—"
"Tom—" Caroline put her fingers to his lips and felt immediately the now familiar tug of attraction— "you worry too much. Who is there to know? I shall not tell and nor shall you. And besides, it is you. I trust you. I know that you will take excellent care of me and give me memories to last a lifetime."
She saw him frown again.
"Caroline," he spoke with tenderness now that tore at her heart. How she loved him! "When you marry, you will make beautiful memories with your husband. Those are the memories that will last a lifetime. Not two weeks in the country living on the edge of propriety a little."
Did any part of him know? Did he have any idea how much it hurt to hear him talk about her husband? To know that it would not be him? To know that she had no desire to make memories with anyone but him?
But now was not the time for such maudlin thoughts. She had precious few days with him and she did not intend to waste them by bemoaning what she had done to herself.
She knew that she should agree with him but part of her, her insane heart most likely, could not bring itself to do so.
Confessing her love for him would put them both in a situation that neither would want to be in.
So instead, she smiled and said, "Tom, I know that the memories we create here at your beautiful home, for these wonderful days, will be the ones I treasure most for the rest of my life. I'm quite sure I shall have a pleasant life but I am equally sure I shan't ever be as happy as I am right now."
He said nothing in response. Not that she expected him to. Perhaps she had frightened him with her words. After all, he had made it abundantly clear that he was a confirmed bachelor and one who would never love. At least, not again.
But words were not necessary.
She had her agreement and that was what she'd wanted for today.
Silently, he helped her onto her horse and then mounted Brutus.
As they turned to leave the clearing, he reached out and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
Caroline looked at him enquiringly, and was stunned and touched when he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, just once, before pulling away.
"Whoever he is," he said softly and almost made her want to cry, "He'll be the luckiest man in the world."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
THE NEXT FEW DAYS passed in a haze of pure and utter bliss for Caroline. Apart from one rather important detail, Tom was being the perfect gentleman.
Every day he found a way for them to be alone. Whether it was a walk in the gardens, a ride in the woods nearby, a trip to the village where he was obviously admired. A little too admired by some young ladies, in Caroline's opinion.
But he had not kissed her. Unless you counted the fleeting kisses to her hand, her cheek, even her nose for heaven's sake, as if she were a sister or matronly aunt rather than a desirable woman whom he had promised to scandalise.
She could not say that she did not love their time together, because she did. She got to know this new version of Tom. The one who had left for America and made a gargantuan fortune. The one who had been born to a cruel father. She wept as he told her the stories of his beatings and of the cruel words that had rained down upon his head. Then she had cried tears of joy as she heard of the dowager and Edward's father taking Tom under their own roof and raising him as their own as his father slowly drank himself to death.
It was a tragic start to be sure and Caroline wondered at the courage and determination of a boy who grew into a man, not adver
sely affected by his father's treatment but rather one of good humour, intelligence and kindness.
It had made her love him even more, which she had not even thought possible.
For her own part, she had felt able to open up to him about the pressures on her shoulders, her feelings of fear that she would not meet the expectations her family had of her, would not make them proud.
By unspoken consent, they did not speak of their own past together. They did not mention the night that ended what had blossomed between them.
They laughed together; they shared hopes, dreams, and fears.
And yet, he did not kiss her.
The day had come for the guests to start arriving.
Caroline was worried.
Although she had spent a wonderful week with Tom, their opportunities to be alone were sure to dwindle if not disappear entirely with the arrival of more guests. Guests who would be sure to notice should they spend time alone together and these people were not going to turn a blind eye the way Rebecca, Edward, and the dowager had been.
She had come down to breakfast that morning determined to speak to Tom to find out why he had distanced himself right when he had promised to do the exact opposite.
Upon entering the room, Caroline was surprised to see it filled with Tom, the dowager, Rebecca, Edward, and even Henry.
"Good morning, dearest," called Rebecca from her seat by Edward's side.
The dowager sat opposite with Henry on her knee, the picture of a doting grandmother.
But although Caroline greeted them all, her eyes were inevitably drawn to Tom seated at the head of the table.
"Good morning, Caroline," he said softly, his words like a caress, his eyes filled with delight at seeing her.
But Caroline was too determined to learn why he was being so polite when she wanted passionate, friendly when she wanted fire, to allow herself to be side-tracked as usual.
Nodding politely she responded, "Good morning, Mr. Crawdon," and was well satisfied with the look of confusion that past over his features.
Rebecca too looked confused. Since she was privy to everything that had transpired between Caroline and Tom, Rebecca was sure to be just as surprised by her cool civility as Tom himself.
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