Judging by the expression in Jeremiah’s eyes, was he thinking that same thing?
“Seems I interrupted your work,” Lucas said, sliding his hands into his back pockets.
“Gotta take care of these two rows today before the weather turns nasty. Lizzy’s been after me.” A little smile crooked his mouth. “Harvesting for grain is usually her job—she likes it. But old Eliza Fisher put her on bed rest until the bobbeil comes end of November.”
“Baby?”
The wider Jeremiah grinned, the prouder the twinkle in his eyes. “Number four.”
“You have three kinnahs, one on the way?” Bewildered, Lucas wondered where the time had gone.
“All boys. Lizzy swears up and down this one’s a girl.” He paused to stroke his beard. “Imagine me with a girl.”
“I can,” Lucas said. He wished he could ask to see them. He wished his brother would give him permission to look in on them from a distance. They’d never know who he was or that he’d even been there.
But that wasn’t meant to be. He hated the wishes had even entered his head.
“Looks like you’re on your own right now,” he continued. “Would you like a hand?”
“You’re not at your clinic today?”
“Not until later.”
His brother’s eyes narrowed. “Still know how to work a plow?”
“I reckon I remember enough.”
“Well then, let’s set it up.” To his surprise, his brother stuck out his hand for Lucas to shake on the deal.
“Lead the way, bruder.” The lump in his throat returned, so grateful for Jeremiah’s kindness. For his brother had every right to ignore his very existence if he’d seen fit.
Instead, Jeremiah put a hand on his shoulder, and together they walked across the field toward the barn. “You’re dressed mighty plain,” he observed, eyeing Lucas’s outfit. He hadn’t changed his clothes from the night before, when he’d been with Esther.
“Never completely stopped, I suppose,” Lucas explained. “It’s easier to blend in around here. More comfortable, too.”
“Aye. Got a phone?” He eyed the square shape in his pocket. Lucas tapped it as acknowledgment, and Jerry smiled conspiratorially. “Me too.”
“Yeah?”
“Inside the barn. And a MacBook.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Pretty hard to do business with the English without one. Our produce travels over a hundred miles, peaches all the way to Texas. That would be impossible without the magic of the World Wide Web.”
“I’m learning just how much things have changed around here.”
His brother shot him a quick glance. “A lot has changed, Luke. Progress might feel like it takes a millennium out here in the middle of nowhere, but it does happen.”
Lucas had learned that the hard way at that first Q&A he’d done at the hospital. Seemed he’d been the one who was behind the times. Over the past few weeks, he’d been “catching up”…which actually meant he’d been simplifying his life, using his free time in more contemplative ways instead of watching TV, playing on his phone, and fussing over his car. He took in a deep breath, smelling good, turned earth.
There was no doubt that his life was changing. Lucas could only wonder how far that change would take him.
As they neared the barn, he noticed a woman open the gate and step into the field. “Jerry! Come get breakfast!”
“Okay, uh, in a minute!”
“Bacon’s hot now. Bring your friend.” She was holding her round belly as she took a few steps toward them. “Who’s that with you?”
Lucas felt his heart beat like a drum inside his chest—once again, torn between two worlds.
“I should go,” he said in a low, rushed voice. “I’ll go. It’s fine. She doesn’t have to see me.”
“Elizabeth,” Jerry hollered. “You’re supposed to be in bed! Remember what—”
“Lucas?”
The next moment was so quiet, Lucas heard birds flapping their wings a mile away.
“Lucas!” Elizabeth was running straight at them, faster than her pregnant body should move.
Lucas glanced at his brother for guidance, but all he was doing was staring at his approaching wife, shaking his head like she’d disobeyed him like this a thousand times.
“Oh my goodness—Lucas!” Like being hit by a runaway goat—or maybe three enthusiastic kid goats—Lucas felt Elizabeth slam against him then throw her arms around him in a lung-collapsing hug. “I can’t believe it’s you!”
“Elizabeth,” he said, unable to not hug her back. “How are you?”
She dropped her arms and stood back. “How am I? Well, I’m just wonderful,” she said, playfully swatting his arm. “It’s been so long, I must look like a dinosaur to you.”
“We’re the same age,” he said with a smile. “And you look great. Getting ready to pop, I’d say.”
She grinned and rubbed her belly. “I’ve never felt better in my life. This one”—she elbowed her husband—“expects me to sit around all day like a lump.”
“Yes, I do.” Jeremiah took her arm. “We’re going back inside right now. You know what Eliza Fisher told you.”
His sister-in-law struggled to pull away. “That old bat doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s been senile for years.” She inhaled a gasp, then bit her knuckle. “I didn’t mean to say that aloud. It’s the hormones.” She looked at Lucas. “I can’t be held accountable for what I say.”
“Inside, woman,” Jeremiah said, lifting her off her feet and heading toward the house.
“Luke!” Lizzy called to him. “Come inside. Please.”
When he hadn’t followed, his brother looked over his shoulder. “You heard my stubborn wife. Better come on in.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
For the next few days, Esther could swear she’d barely slept a wink, yet when she eyed herself in the mirror while getting dressed, she knew she’d never looked so healthy.
The day before, she’d finished four triple batches of soap, ready to take to Leah. She’d picked an afternoon when no one else was at home, that way no one would be around to make her feel guilty. Even she had to admit the cassia leaf oil was a bit strong. And Leah will love it, she’d thought after filling the final mold.
Sarah’s wedding dress was also nearly done, and because her sister was busy organizing living arrangements with Amos’s family, as well as where all the extended family would stay for the wedding, she’d barely had time to bug Esther.
While smoothing out one of the back hems, Esther thought about Lucas. Before she’d left his house the other night, she’d copied down all the scriptures they’d discussed. Since then, every night and every morning Esther had read through each of them, feeling their meaning deeper in her soul each time.
Because of his dedication to study and his good example, he’d changed her life, helped her get a grip on the worries that had been plaguing her heart for years.
Why was she blessed to have such a dear friend? Somehow, Lucas Brenneman had become one of the most important people in her life.
He isn’t Amish, though, she reminded herself before she had to visualize another Jacob memory. And he’s frightfully stubborn about reaching out to his family or even letting anyone know he’s in town.
Oh, but the thrill she’d felt right after the buggy crash! The accident had caused their bodies to jostle against each other, and then when the falling buggy had finally settled, she’d opened her eyes to find Lucas lying directly on top—
“Why are you smiling?”
Esther gasped and opened her eyes to find Evie standing in the bedroom doorway.
“Because I’m happy!” she exclaimed, not needing to fib even the slightest. “Aren’t you?”
Eve tapped her index finger to her lips. “You were da
ncing, too.”
“No, I…” Esther quickly dropped the sides of her dress that she’d been holding up as she’d swayed before the mirror.
“And singing. Maam said you never sing anymore.”
“I was not.” Esther cleared her throat and smoothed the front of her dress. “Must’ve been the pigs you heard.” She made the most unladylike pig-type snort.
Eve giggled. “That’s definitely not what I heard, but you sound just like one.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Esther turned back to the mirror. She shouldn’t be pleased with how she looked, but she couldn’t help noticing how bright her eyes were and the healthy glow to her cheeks.
“Where’s your bonnet?” Eve inquired, pointing to the empty hook on the wall. “I haven’t seen it in days.”
“I lost it the other night, er—day. When I was in the buggy.”
“Bishop Abram tells us to keep it tied tight, but none of the girls ever do. Not even Maam.”
“I know.” Esther nodded. “It was an accident, and it was very windy.”
“Then why were you outside?”
Esther adored her little sister, but she was growing weary of all the questions. “Maam said I should go into town for material to make a new one. Want to come?”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, yes! Please!”
Esther laughed and reached for her thinner kapp. “Go tell your brothers.”
Eve whipped around. “Oh, no. Not them.”
“Whyever not?”
Her sister blew out a long, dramatic sigh. “Because they’re bugging me to death.”
“Evie, you know you shouldn’t say things like that. It’s a sin to even think it.”
Another weary sigh. “But they’re so embarrassing in public.”
Esther laughed as she tied the strings of her bonnet—tightly, ignoring the Lancaster County fashion. “They’ll grow up soon enough. You’ll see.”
Without much more of a fuss, Esther gathered Abraham and Benjamin, and together with Eve, they set off to town. With all the afternoon chores done, they could take their time.
A few weeks ago, while visiting an English neighbor, Benjamin had seen a baseball game on television. Since then, he’d taken it upon himself to pick up any baseball-size rock or clump of dirt and attempt to pitch a strikeout. Abraham, of course, was his batter.
This slowed their pace dramatically, but Esther didn’t care. She enjoyed the smells of fresh earth, the green rolling hills, and the sunshine on her face whenever it peeked out from behind the clouds.
When the redbrick building came into view, however, she felt anything but calm. It was strange, the physical reaction caused by just seeing the building. Her heart beat fast, while her stomach filled with butterflies, and the autumn sun felt awfully hot, didn’t it?
“Who’s that?” Eve asked. “He looks like the man from the goat—”
“Where?”
Her sister was pointing directly at the med clinic. To her shock, Lucas stood outside, one foot propping open the glass door. Tall and broad-shouldered, his body filled the doorway. For some reason, she couldn’t make herself look away.
“He waved at you,” Eve said.
Esther felt a tingle at the back of her neck and wondered if she was blushing. “He’s just being friendly. Everybody, wave back,” she said to the kinnahs, attempting to play casual.
“He’s staring like the other Englishers,” her sister observed. “That’s all they ever do. Only now it looks like he wants to say something. Esther, why’s he staring at you?”
Esther felt herself smiling—just slightly—as his gaze settled on her. Shame on Lucas Brenneman for being so bold. He should go right back inside and stop embarrassing her.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” he said as they passed by.
Just as Esther opened her mouth to reply, Eve grabbed her arm and yanked her to a faster stride. The familiar sound of his laughter followed as they entered Kings.
“What’s the hurry?” Esther said, panting for breath. “You nearly pulled my arm out of the socket.”
“That Englisher was bugging me,” Eve said in Pennsylvania Dutch, voice low.
“Evie, we must be kind to everyone—everyone. Just because he doesn’t go to our church or live plain like us doesn’t mean he’s less than us. Gott loves everyone no matter who we are, where we come from, or what we’ve done.” She put a hand on her shoulder. “He loves us so much that He made a plan for us to follow, and He’s with us every step of the way.”
For once, the words weren’t just platitudes. Esther felt the truth of each one down to her bones. She couldn’t have meant such a thing a week ago, not until Gott reminded her—with Lucas’s help.
“Benji’s making a mess.” Eve’s voice snapped Esther out of her daze. She looked to see her brother unraveling a spool of thick red ribbon.
“Benjamin,” she snapped. The boy squealed, tossed the ribbon into the air, and then ran away, hiding behind an aisle of wool fabric. “Here.” She handed Abraham a five dollar bill. “Take your brother across the street for a piece of candy.” Before the words had completely left her mouth, the boys shot out the door.
“See what I mean?” Eve said, shaking her head. “Maam has no idea how naughty they are when she’s not with them.”
“Maybe you can be a better example for them to follow.” She smiled at her sister, who was growing up way too fast. “Come help me find what I need for a kapp. Maybe there’ll be enough left over for two.”
Eve grinned, clapped her hands, then rushed off in search of the perfect fabric, leaving Esther alone with her thoughts.
She could practically feel him next door, still smiling at her—which was not helpful. How was she supposed to live a normal day when he was so near? She couldn’t help recalling the poem he’d recited to her the other evening. The one by Elizabeth Browning. “How do I love thee…let me count the ways…”
The lyrics ran a circle around her heart, leaving behind a funny sort of perplexity as she and Eve settled on a sturdy black cotton fabric. It would make a fine, sensible, proper Amish kapp. It would keep her hair hidden as it should be, keep her modest and humble, and under the protection of Gott. It would also remind her of the kind of life she’d always wanted. Right there in Honey Brook.
“Let’s fetch your brothers,” she said. As they exited Kings Mercantile, Esther couldn’t help shooting a lightning-fast glance at the clinic to see if Lucas was outside.
He wasn’t. He had more important—English—things to do than flirt with her. The heaviness of disappointment made her shoulders slack but, since that was utter nonsense, Esther quickly knocked it away as she entered Yoder’s Home Goods. The store was bustling with business. Esther spotted her brothers at the candy counter, meticulously deciding how to spend their money.
“Speak of the devil!”
Esther nearly jumped out of her skin but then settled when she realized the shout had come from her cousin.
“Es,” Eve whispered. “Why did Leah call you the devil? That’s not nice.”
Esther laughed. “She didn’t mean it like that. It’s an expression.”
“Does she think you need to pray?”
“No, sweetie.” Instead of taking the time to explain, she added, “Why don’t you pick out a treat? It’s on me.” Eve grinned and dashed away, Leah quickly taking her spot.
“You can’t be here,” her cousin said. “Word’s spreading like wildfire.”
Esther took a step backward, not knowing where to look. If a rumor about her and Lucas had already started, was she supposed to hide in Leah’s back room?
“You’ve sold out again—your soap.”
“Oh. Oh!” Esther wrapped her arms around her body and gave a squeeze, almost wanting to laugh-cry in relief. “I’ve got some at home. I’ll just—”
�
�That’s what I mean,” Leah said. “I posted pictures and reviews on the website. People are freaking out over it. Do you understand you’re in high demand?”
Esther did laugh this time. “I am?”
“Stop being so modest.” Leah rolled her eyes. “I’ve read articles on commerce and product fads. For whatever reason, your homemade scented soaps are the ‘it’ thing right now. Fads don’t last forever, though, so if you want to make a real mark, we have to strike now.”
“Gracious. Sounds so frantic.”
“It is!” Leah heaved a sigh, fisting the back of her bun. “That’s why I’m saying you can’t be here—you have to go home right now and bring me everything you have. Everything, Esther. And I need you to make more. As much as you can. Seriously.”
Esther made herself blink a few times. “I’m really a success?”
Leah actually snorted a laugh out her nose. “Huge, honey, huge. Look at my face. Do I look intense enough for you?” Her eyes were wide and steady, unblinking. In fact, it seemed as though her cousin wasn’t even breathing.
Esther lifted a shaky hand to her forehead. She knew her soap was selling unusually well at the moment, but she never expected to be this successful or for such secular news to feel so…rewarding.
Bishop Abram’s sermon about modesty tickled the back of her memory, but Esther didn’t allow it to take root.
“It’s unbelievable,” she said, watching Benjamin drool over the long red licorice whips. “But I can’t just go; I’ve got the kinnahs with me.” She pointed at Abraham filling a baggie with rock candy.
“Hey, boys,” Leah said, calling over the children. “Who wants to take a ride in Alex’s truck?”
Their eyes lit up immediately. “Me!” shouted Abraham, as his other siblings echoed enthusiastically.
“Oh, Alex?” Leah called out to one of the English teens who worked at the store, not moving her smiling gaze from Esther. “Can you run the Millers home, then bring back a few boxes?”
“Twenty boxes,” Esther said under her breath.
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