She hoped not. Oh, she bloody well hoped not. She wasn’t sure that she could go back to that. She wasn’t sure that she could cope with that again.
Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Kendra instead concentrated on unbuttoning her coat and removing her shoes. As she was just about to head towards her bedroom her front door slammed open and she turned in surprise to see a furious looking Nick standing there.
“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?!” she screamed at him.
“We need to talk,” he ground out at her as he closed the door.
“Not bloody likely!” she retorted.
“Not only is it likely, it’s inevitable,” he said as he removed his own coat and gloves.
“You can’t just barge into my home like this!”
“You don’t want people barging in? Then maybe you should lock your door, sweetheart,” he said at her with a cocked brow, and Kendra clenched her teeth tightly together. “Now, you and I are going to sort some things out. First and foremost being what the heck has you so scared about that bar back there.”
“Scared?!” she said in shocked surprise. “What makes you think I’m scared?”
“The fact that I have eyes in my head, Kendra. You were scared. Now I want to know why,” he said sternly.
“It’s none of your business, Nick,” she said just as sternly.
“No? I happen to think it is. You tell me, Kendra, you tell me what happened there to make you so afraid of returning,” he said, and Kendra looked at him with wide eyes. He thought something had happened there? He was right that she was afraid, but not because of memories associated with it. She was scared that she’d end up getting drawn back into a world that she’d rather forget.
“Nothing happened at Lucky’s,” she said honestly.
“Don’t lie to me!” he yelled, and Kendra looked at him with wide eyes. “I thought you trusted me. I thought you believed in honesty,” he said angrily, and Kendra gritted her teeth while glaring at him.
“I’m not lying. Nothing happened at Lucky’s,” she said firmly and watched as Nick studied her.
“You were the one talking about trust being fragile. Talking about how easily it is to break. Why are you –,” he started but his words were abruptly cut off by the sound of his cellphone ringing.
With a muted and mild curse, Nick pulled the phone out of his pocket and checked the display. With another curse he looked up at her warily and mumbled that it was his boss, that he needed to take the call, but that they weren’t finished.
Answering the call, he stepped outside of her front door, and Kendra just watched after him in confusion. She didn’t know what to do. She knew that things with Nick didn’t have a future, but a part of her wanted to open up to him, to tell him everything. She was scared to though. Scared of what he’d think of her. If she told him and he walked out on her, she knew for a fact that she’d head on down to Lucky’s anyway, searching out that same comfort from what felt like another lifetime ago.
If she didn’t tell him though, she’d push him away. Did she want to risk doing that? Did she want to jeopardize whatever they might have by keeping this close? She’d already shared so much with him, why not this as well?
She couldn’t imagine that Nick would belittle or judge her harshly, but then again she wasn’t sure that he’d accept her either. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what the right – Her thoughts splintered as her own phone rang and she reached over for it.
Very few people ever called Kendra. Her mom was one of them but she never called if she thought that Kendra was at home. The woman knew that all that would achieve would be Kendra hanging up on her. Instead her mom would leave messages on her answerphone, or call Betsy for an update on Kendra’s life.
The only other person who regularly called was Betsy. Perhaps the woman was in trouble or needed something.
Picking up the phone, and trying to calm her jittery nerves, Kendra answered with a tentative ‘hello’ and waited for whatever bad news was bound to be imparted to her.
“Kendra,” a deep voice said, and Kendra found her brow puckering.
“Sheriff?” she asked in confusion. Why the heck was the Sheriff calling her? Unless it was to do with Joanie. “Is everything alright?” she asked worriedly.
“Um, not exactly,” he said, and Kendra’s breath caught.
“What’s happened? Is it Joanie? Or Betsy?” she asked breathlessly.
“No. No. It’s nothing like that.”
“I don’t understand. What is it then?” she asked with a puckered brow and noticed Nick coming back into her home from the corner of her eye. Obviously he’d finished with his own call and was waiting for their inevitable ‘talk’.
“It’s … ah, heck, Kendra, I don’t how to say this without just blurting it out,” he said with a heavy sigh, and Kendra waited for the shoe to drop. “It’s about Nick.”
“What?” she said in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“Kendra, he’s … well, he’s not who he says he is,” the man said, and Kendra tensed while chancing a quick glance over at the man in question who was studying her intently. Keeping her face impassive and clear, she just listened to the Sheriff as he elaborated on the reason for his call.
“Go on,” she urged calmly.
“Betsy overheard him on a phone call the other day when he was at the diner. He was talking to somebody about a girl, a girl he was supposed to be working on, supposed to be getting cooperation from, a girl whose trust he was working at getting. Well, Betsy overheard and thought that there’s only been one girl that he’s been trying to ingratiate himself with.”
“I see,” she said calmly even as rage started to surge through her veins.
“Yeah. So she asked me to check him out.”
“And?” Kendra prompted.
“And you’re not going to like this, Kendra,” he said with a sigh.
“Probably not,” she replied in that same even tone.
“His name isn’t Nick Clifton. His name is Mitchell Astley. He’s not a travel writer. He works for Howard Powers,” the Sheriff said, and Kendra’s heart froze. Unaware of the impact that that piece of news would have on her, Bobby continued to recite all of the details he’d managed to find out about the man she’d foolishly given her heart to. “He’s one of the man’s top go-to guys. He’s well known for managing to get the job done, for being able to deliver on anything that the big man wants. I’m not sure why he’s here or what he wants with you, but he’s clearly up to something. Is there any reason you can think of that Howard Powers would be interested in you?” the Sheriff asked.
“I can think of one,” she said numbly.
“You be careful, Kendra. Alright? I don’t know what his motives are but he’s here under false pretenses, under an alias, no good will ever come of a man who acts like that. I have no idea where he’s at right now either to have a talk with him.”
“You can leave that to me,” she said and could almost hear the wheels turning in the other’s man head.
“He’s there with you, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you need me to come over? Do you want me to call Betsy for you? Even Mark and Joanie?” he asked, and if Kendra hadn’t been so busy with everything occurring in her own life, she’d have found herself incredibly pleased by the fact that the man had obviously finally accepted Mark into his and Joanie’s life.
“Everything’ll work out. Don’t worry,” she said with a smile as a plan began to formulate itself in her mind.
Mr Nick ‘Mitchell Astley’ Clifton wanted something from her, did he? He wanted her cooperation? Here as an errand boy for her absentee father? He’d been told to ingratiate himself to her? Work his way into her life and earn her trust? He’d been told to work on her, had he? Well, he’d certainly done that. He’d worked his way right into her heart. The bloody lying scumbag!
He’d made her fall in love with him, made her think that he wanted her. A
nd he’d done it all behind a mask and lies. He’d done it under false pretenses. She had no idea what he wanted, no idea what her father wanted, she could imagine though.
Howard Powers hadn’t bothered to contact her, he hadn’t sought her out. No, he’d sent his lackey instead to track her down. No wonder Nick had been there that first night; he’d been sent to keep an eye on her. And him reappearing two years later? Coincidence? Not bloody likely. Clearly he’d tracked her down. Though why it had taken so long she wasn’t sure.
Everything suddenly fell into place. Everything made sense. Even their very first meeting a couple of months back. She’d found it all odd at the time. He must have been feeling his way, trying to figure out how to play things around her.
He’d certainly done his job, hadn’t he? He’d definitely worked his way into her trust. He’d certainly ingratiated himself. How far would he have been willing to go, she wondered. What would he have done to make sure that he succeeded? What had his limits been? At what point would too much be expected of him? What lengths had her father ordered the man to go to in order to make sure that she did what was wanted of her?
What was wanted of her? Judging by the fact that she’d been assigned to his boy Friday she imagined that there was a reason that Howard Powers was keeping his distance. Probably to reduce the chance of anyone finding out that she existed. Suddenly Nick’s questions from the other night made sense to her.
What did she want from her father, he’d asked. Was she planning on contacting him? He wanted to make sure that she was out of the man’s life. That she wouldn’t be asking him for anything. He was probably supposed to be making her sign some sort of papers relinquishing any rights she had on the man, relieving him of his parental responsibilities. There were probably papers for her to ensure that she wouldn’t go to the press, that she wouldn’t divulge her true paternity.
No wonder he’d wanted to know about her relationship with her mom. He probably wanted to know what she thought about it as well. Whether she was going to blab to somebody about it all, thereby dragging the man’s name through the mud. No wonder he was pressing her to get back in touch with her mother again, he was probably ready to kill two birds with one stone.
Well, he had nothing to fear. She didn’t want anything from Howard Powers. Nothing at all. Not his money. Not his name. Not his DNA. And especially not his number one man.
Chapter Eleven
“Yep. See you later,” Kendra said into the phone before finally replacing the handset. Mitchell had no idea who she’d been on the phone to and had no idea what the call had been about, but right now he was more concerned about getting her to open up to him.
“Who was that?” he asked as she continued to stare at the handset.
“Just a call from Betsy,” she replied with a flash of smile which didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“A problem?” he asked with a furrowed brow. Something was wrong. Something was off but he didn’t know what.
“The Sheriff called, worried about Joanie. He thinks she’s run off with Mark. Personally I think that she’s just hiding somewhere with him out of her dad’s view. Bobby hasn’t been too accepting of their relationship. They’ll turn up in a couple of hours. Everything’ll be fine,” she explained with another of those overly bright smiles.
“I thought that the Sheriff was softening towards it all,” Mitchell hazarded.
“There’s softening, then there’s trust,” she said with a piercing look at him. “Bobby doesn’t quite trust him yet. Trust’s a tricky thing to earn. Some people find it hard to trust easily, especially if they’ve had reason in their past to be leery of giving it out too freely,” she said almost cryptically, and Mitchell stared at her in confusion.
“It’s a precious thing,” he ventured.
“It is. To be handled carefully as well,” she mused. “So easy to give it to the wrong person,” she said before shaking her head and looking back at him with a smile. “Can I ask you a question, Nick?” she asked, and he looked at her suspiciously.
“Of course.”
“Do you think that once somebody breaks your trust that you should give it to them again? Do you think that there’s any way to repair it once it’s been broken?” she asked sincerely as she stared at him, and he felt a flutter of hope. She was referring to her mom. Obviously the call had her thinking about her parents, and it was just the opening that he needed to address the issue again.
“I think that anything can be fixed if you really want to,” he said sincerely.
“Hmm,” she mused. “You think so, huh? Even if somebody completely destroys it?”
“Of course. Nothing is ever truly hopeless,” he affirmed.
“I’m not so sure about that,” she said with a rueful smile. “Imagine that somebody’s been lying to you for as long as you’ve known them. Lying about something fundamental. Could you ever trust that person to tell you the truth again? Wouldn’t there always be some sort of doubt in the back of your mind whenever they told you something?”
“That’s why trust needs to get rebuilt, to remove that doubt.”
“Even if you loved that person so entirely and they had the nerve to stamp on your heart and break it, at the same time as they shattered your trust?” she said, and he heard the emotion in her voice as she did so. Her eyes were perfectly dry though. Dry and angry. She was hurting, but the anger was winning for the moment.
Her mom had definitely hurt her daughter, damaged her in a way.
“People make mistakes, Kendra,” he said.
“Yes. They do. Don’t they, Nick?” she said, and he frowned. Clearly they were heading into some sort of territory regarding them.
“We still need to have that talk about earlier,” he said, thinking to get that part out of the way. Maybe then he could steer the conversation back to the avenues that he needed to.
“Do we?” she asked. “Why?”
“Because you still haven’t told me what had you running scared from Lucky’s,” he said.
“And why do you care, Nick?” she asked, and he watched as she moved closer to him. “Aren’t you happy that we ended up back here together? All alone?” she added huskily as she started to move her fingers slowly up his chest while staring at him with those beautiful blue eyes of hers. Beautiful blue eyes that were swimming with emotion. So many that he didn’t know what they all were.
“I care because it upset you,” he said then felt his breath catch as she started to kiss his neck.
“Do I look upset?” she asked against his skin, and Mitchell couldn’t help the shudder that tore through him as she continued to kiss him. He felt her slight chuckle against his skin as he did so, and realized that she was distracting him, using their physical connection as a way to get out of talking again. Like she had the other night.
As her hands moved down to the waist of his jeans Mitchell sucked in a shocked breath. A shocked breath that came out in a whoosh as he felt her hands pulling his shirt out of where it had been tucked in, before her soft hands landed on his skin.
“Kendra?” he asked breathlessly, and felt her chuckle again.
“Nick?” she asked in an amused tone.
“Kendra, what are you doing?”
“Don’t tell me that you don’t want this,” she said as her hands moved further up to caress his chest, and Mitchell sucked in another sharp breath.
“That’s not the point,” he said.
“Isn’t it?” she asked. “You asked if I trusted you, Nick. Isn’t this the ultimate proof?” she said as she moved that hot little mouth of hers up to kiss him on the lips. Unable to completely resist her, he kissed her back and groaned as she continued to run her hands across his torso.
“This is a really bad idea,” he managed to get out when he finally wrenched his lips away from hers. “You’re playing with fire.”
“Am I? Why would that be, Nick? Are you telling me that you don’t trust yourself with me? I’m willing. And I trust you, Nick. I trust yo
u to care for me. I trust you not to desert me and lie to me. I trust you not to abandon me once you’ve gotten what you wanted. I trust you to make sure no harm comes to me. So what’s the problem? Don’t you want my trust?” she asked, and Mitchell found his head spinning.
“You’re right, I’m playing with fire,” she whispered against his neck as her hands started to descend to the waist of his jeans again. “I’m burning up,” she said breathlessly. “Come burn with me, Nick.”
With a growl, he grabbed her up against him and kissed her like he’d never get a chance to again. The action must have taken her by surprise because she gasped and her hands stopped their roaming. As they fell onto her couch Mitchell continued to get lost in her kisses and groaned at it all. Her hands were frantically roaming over him, and his were just as bad. His self-control was hanging on by a thread and was ready to snap.
He always had trouble controlling himself with Kendra, but usually she helped him with it all, usually she was just as aware of them reaching the point of no return and would stop as well. But right now she wasn’t. They were quickly hurtling towards an inevitable conclusion, and she was the one dragging him towards it.
How the heck could he resist the temptation? He just wasn’t strong enough. In a few moments they were about to cross over the edge, and Mitchell was past the point of caring. He loved this woman, he loved her so much, and there was a chance that he’d never get another chance at this. Especially when her dad turned up and the truth came out.
The thought had Mitchell’s head clearing. And he found the last remaining shreds of self-control that he hadn’t realized still existed. Attempting to slow things down, he realized something. Something was wrong with it all between them. Something was different. This wasn’t how it usually was.
The passion was still there but there was an aggression behind Kendra’s kisses. There was a roughness that she’d never displayed before. She wasn’t being tender or loving. Her kisses were full of lust but nothing deeper. Lust and almost … resentment. This wasn’t right.
Masks and Lies Page 10
