“I’m at home.” She sniffled, and my heart cracked. “I’m so sorry, Chase,” she whispered, the pain she was fighting like hell to hold back bleeding into her tone. “I know I’m hurting you by staying away, but I don’t mean to. I just... I’m a whole lot of broken right now.”
A lump formed in my throat.
I couldn’t breathe.
Could. Not. Fucking. Breathe.
“You’re not broken. Bent, yeah, but not broken,” I croaked out, my voice foreign-sounding. “Never broken.”
Another sniffle. Then, “Can you bring Heidi with you? I miss her so much.”
My eyes met Heidi’s. “Of course I’ll bring Bug. She needs to get out of the house anyway. She’s starting to look paler than normal and—” I grunted when Heidi punched me in the arm. “Ow, goddammit. You punch hard as hell for a girl.”
Ashley giggled through the phone, and I smiled. “You laughing at Heidi kicking my ass, Sweetness?” Before she got the chance to reply, I looked back over at Bug. “Hit me again. This time harder. Don’t give a shit how much it hurts, my girl thought it was funny.”
Heidi did not disappoint.
One quick jab straight to the chest, and I sucked in a harsh breath. “You didn’t have to hit me in the tit!”
Ashley’s giggle turned into a full-blown laugh.
Heidi though? She flipped me off.
The little shit.
Her and Ty are perfect for one another.
Shaking my head, I stood and moved away from Heidi. She may have been short, but she wasn’t weak. “We’re leaving now.” I was antsy and ready to hold her in my arms. Immensely so. “I’ll be there in ten. Love you, beautiful girl. Always.”
I held my breath, waiting.
Come on, baby.
Say it back.
“I love you too,” she replied. “Always.”
At her words, my anxiety vanished.
My pain abated.
And my heart? It soared.
Without wasting another second, I ended the call.
Then, together, Heidi and I bounced.
Chapter Thirty
I was selfish.
Utterly and completely selfish.
I had absolutely no business calling Chase and asking him to come and pick me up, especially when I knew that things between us were crumbling and before long, everything we’d worked to build would be nothing but dust.
But I couldn’t stay away.
I’d tried, God knows I had, but I’d failed.
More than once.
The invisible rope that tied his heart to mine was too strong, and when it grew taut in a silent demand that I find the man who I knew was my soulmate, everything in me would ache with a ferocity that I’d never experienced until he and I were face to face once more.
I hated.
But I loved it too.
And yet, it was killing me.
Killing. Me.
With the threat of my past being exposed looming over my head like an ax prepared to strike, I’d made plans to walk away before he learned the truth.
As worried as I had been about him leaving me once he found out who—or rather what—I truly was, I couldn’t wait for that to happen. Losing him was going to destroy any good that remained in me, but letting him be the one to pull away wasn’t an option.
Bad as it sounds, I would’ve rather he hated me for breaking his heart, than look at me with disgust when he learned of the life I’d been forced into at fifteen. Because let’s face it, even if he understood that I had no choice but to do the things I’d done, he still wouldn’t want me, and thinking that he possibly could was not only foolish but dangerous.
I just wasn’t good enough.
I never had been.
And I never would be.
Chase was going into the NFL for heaven sakes, and as talented as he was, I had no doubt he’d become a star. A man like him, in a position like that, deserved a whole lot better than a damaged former teen prostitute with more problems than she could count.
I’d been stupid to think I could keep my past from him.
Like Grandmama always said, secrets can only stay hidden for so long.
Obviously, she was right.
As for Heidi, she deserved better too. Beautiful, sweet, and possessing a heart of gold, she needed a best friend who was her match. Not me, a girl who’d been broken since she was a child.
You see, Chase and Heidi, they were good...
But me? I was poison.
And everyone who got to close suffered.
Carmen.
Jade.
Addie.
My sweet baby Addie...
Turns out, loving me was lethal. It was a truth my family was coming to understand, and one which I refused to let Chase and Heidi learn.
No matter how much it hurt, I had to walk away, had to let them go before it was too late.
But first, I needed one more day to pretend that everything was going to be okay and that my family, my heart, and my entire world weren’t close to imploding. And it was because of that need that I found myself in the backseat of Heidi’s car, straddling Chase’s lap, his cock wedged deep inside me as I rode him with abandon, his strong hands cupping my bare breasts.
Parked at the end of the nearly empty drugstore parking lot, hidden from any passerby’s eyes, we made love as Heidi waited inside for a prescription to be filled, something that would take half an hour according to the pharmacist.
Head dropped back, I cupped his shoulders as I rolled my hips, taking every inch he had to give. Wanting to memorize the feel of him twitching inside me, rapidly reaching the point of no return, I closed my eyes and concentrated, cataloging every beautiful moment that I moved atop him as he grunted and cursed beneath me, his firm-yet-gentle hands caressing every curve I possessed.
“Ashley...” The sound of his voice sent chills racing down my spine. “Baby, look at me.”
I didn’t want to look.
Because if I did, my heart would break.
I just knew it.
But as always, when it came to Chase, I couldn’t resist. So I did as he asked and lifted my head, meeting his gaze. His hands came to my cheeks, cupping them softly as I slid my arms around his neck and buried my fingers in his short locks, tugging on the blond strands.
“I love you,” he said, touching his sweaty forehead to mine. “So goddamn much.”
I blinked to keep the tears that were filling my eyes from falling. “I love you too,” I replied, unable to stop the truth from slipping past my lips. “With every broken piece of me. Don’t”—I moaned as he hit a spot deep inside me, one which only he’d ever touched—“ever forget that.”
Our lips met.
I savored his taste, along with the feel of his mouth on mine as he dropped his hands to my hips and lifted me before pulling me back down on his length. The thrust was hard, and I cried out as my body screamed for more.
“Chase!”
Biceps bunching, he continued to drive into me while yanking me down, forcing me to feel every bit of the pleasure that he was capable of giving me. “I’m going to come, baby,” he said, his eyes on mine. “You’ve gotta get off.”
Driven by desire, I shook my head.
My orgasm was within reach, and as messed up as it may sound, I wanted him to come inside me. I wanted to feel it, to feel him this one time because after the moment was over, it would never return.
This is the end.
“Come in me. I—” My words were replaced with a scream when my orgasm burst free, obliterating my ability to speak, to think, to do anything but feel.
So that’s what I did.
Pleasure, heartbreak, bliss, agony.
I felt it. All of it.
Repeatedly.
Body trembling, I dug my fingers into Chase’s shoulders as his cock jerked deep inside me, and he yelled—yes, yelled—as his own orgasm hit him, pulling wave after wave of pleasure from his body as his come lashed my insides, coating
my walls in warmth.
“I love you,” he groaned, repeating his words from seconds before as his fingertips gripped my hips. “Forever.”
I dipped my head, hiding my face from his view as the first tear fell.
Deep in my heart, I knew that loving me was going to destroy him.
Unfortunately, I was right.
* * *
I was frozen in fear.
Panicked, I sat next to Chase in the back seat of Heidi’s car and watched as a uniformed police officer approached the driver’s side of the vehicle, the lights from his squad car reflecting in the rear and side-view mirrors.
No one else seemed overly concerned, but even before I got a good look at the man walking up to Heidi’s window, his hand resting on his gun, I knew things were about to go bad. Though I may not have been the smartest person in the world, I had more street smarts than most, and one thing I’d learned long ago was to always listen to my gut.
And right then, my gut was screaming at me to run.
The problem was, I couldn’t do that.
I may have been prepared to walk away and break Chase and Heidi’s hearts in the process, but I wouldn’t leave them to the monster who lurked close by, his intentions anything but good.
“Chase,” I whispered just as the officer tapped on Heidi’s window, his scarred knuckles visible through the tinted glass. “That’s...”
Heidi rolled down the window, unaware of who stood on the other side.
But Chase knew.
Unlatching his seatbelt, he leaned forward, his jaw clenched tight.
“Chase,” Heidi said quietly, finally catching on to what was happening. “Whatever he says, don’t get out of the car.”
“Fuck that,” he growled, leaning closer to her. “Let me handle this, Heidi. He’s here for me.”
No, he wasn’t.
He was there for both of us.
“No,” she replied, shaking her head.
“Heidi—”
I screamed as my best friend’s door was pulled open, and Clyde Jacobs’ hand suddenly circled her small bicep. “Come here, bitch. It’s time you and I had a chat.”
In a flash, he yanked her from the car and onto the scorching Georgia asphalt that made up the desolate stretch of Highway 9, where we sat parked on the shoulder of the road.
“Heidi!”
Mind-numbing fear climbed high into my throat, completely immobilizing me as Chase jumped out of the car. Knowing that I needed to move, that I needed to save her—like I should’ve saved Carmen and Jade—I closed my eyes and drew in a breath.
Get out of the car!
If you don’t, she’ll die!
They both will!
Behind the vehicle, shouting ensued as I fought with my body to move, something which was proving impossible as I remained stock-still, wholly frozen to the spot.
Get up!
Just as I latched onto the courage to move, I heard Clyde chuckle. Then, “Looks like I grabbed the wrong girl.”
Before I could react, my door was ripped open, and I was forced out of the car. In mere seconds, Clyde had my back pressed to his front and a single arm wrapped around my chest, anchoring me in place.
Ten feet away, Heidi climbed to her feet from where she’d been on the ground, her hands and knees covered in torn skin and blood. My heart twisted at the sight.
Lifting the service-issued gun he held—one which I hadn’t seen until that moment—Clyde pointed it at Heidi’s chest.
Just like Dominic had done Jade.
Oh God no!
“Don’t you fucking move!”
Thankfully, Heidi didn’t flinch.
But Chase did.
When he charged forward, his face twisted with rage, Clyde moved his arm, aiming the gun at him.
“Chase!” I screamed, my legs almost giving way as a whole new level of fear washed through me.
At my shout, he froze mid-stride. “Go ahead, Dad,” he snarled. “Fucking shoot me! Then you’ll never see a damn dime.”
No, no, no!
I cried out as Clyde squeezed me tighter, his grip nearly crushing me.
“Ashley,” Heidi whispered. “Look at me, Dimples.” Our gazes locked. “It’s going to be alright,” she said. “I promise.”
It was a lie.
Nothing would be alright.
Not ever again.
A single tear slipped from my eyes. “Heidi... please...”
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s going to be okay,” she assured me once more. “I’m right here, and I’m not leaving. I will never leave you.”
Each word broke me a little more.
She might have never left me.
But I was leaving her.
I had no other choice.
What was happening right then, at that very moment, only solidified that choice in my head further.
Clyde laughed. Hard. The sound was cruel and malicious; two things I expected. “This is rich,” he said. “The disabled bitch is comforting the town whore. I’ve seen a lot of shit in my day, but this truly takes the cake.” His words lashed me, chipping away at what remained of my soul. “Out of all the girls,” Clyde continued. “You had to choose this one. Hell, I can’t say I blame you. She’s a pretty little thing. I bet Detective Moretti,” he spat, making his disdain for my father known, “just loves tucking her in at night.”
I began to spiral.
Falling into the abyss.
Around me, the world faded.
Chase’s voice rang out, but I just couldn’t understand a word he was saying as my sight blurred, my eyelids becoming heavy. But even as far as I’d already slipped, I felt the moment Clyde nuzzled the side of my face with his and breathed my scent in.
My belly revolted.
I was going to puke.
“Let this serve as a warning, Chase, one which I suggest you fucking heed,” he said before running the barrel of the gun down the side of my face. Unable to move, much less scream, I merely stood there, my mind close to checking out as my body slipped into a catatonic state “You will let me have a taste of what’s been coming to me since the day you were born. Or else I’ll have to find a different way to earn a little cash.” Grinding his erection into my back, he made the meaning of his threat perfectly clear.
He’s going to sell me...
Just like el diablo did.
With no warning, Clyde unwrapped his arms from my chest, grabbed a handful of my hair, and shoved me forward. I stumbled, nearly falling, but Heidi caught me before I hit the asphalt.
Pulling me into her warm embrace, she held me tight and ran her hands through my hair, trying her best to comfort me as Clyde and Chase kept talking, their raised voices echoing through the afternoon air.
“I’ve got you,” Heidi whispered, running her hand up and down my back. “And I swear I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
It was a promise she intended to keep.
But one she should’ve never made.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ashley
“Everything is going to be okay, Sissy.”
I looked up from where I sat on my bedroom floor, Ziggy draped across my lap, at the sound of Lucca’s voice. Clutching Ellington’s phone in my hand, I blew out a shaky breath as my gaze landed on my brother, followed by my sweet Gracie.
Seeing them standing there, their beautiful faces stricken with confusion nearly killed me. They had no idea why I was crying, nor did they understand why our shared mother was downstairs throwing an absolute hissy fit as she called every bar in town trying to hunt Clyde down.
More pissed than I’d ever seen him, Dad, along with half of Toluca PD were on the hunt, searching for him as well. I wasn’t sure what would happen once they found him, but I hoped and prayed that he’d either end up in jail or dead in a ditch somewhere.
If my father found him, the first would happen.
But if Grandmama or my Mama got their hands on him—something which was a real pos
sibility since the Crazy Old Biddy was out and about looking for him too—it would be the latter.
The moment he’d pointed a gun at Heidi and made such sick threats toward me, he’d sealed his fate, and no one in my family would stop until the situation was handled.
Not that it really mattered.
Come morning, I’d be long gone.
I’d cost my family enough pain.
I couldn’t bear to hurt them anymore.
Though I knew me leaving would tear them apart, I also knew that they’d one day heal and forget I ever existed. But if I stayed, it would just be one problem after another for them, forever.
I couldn’t handle that.
Just like Chase didn’t deserve a scarred whore for a girlfriend, my family didn’t deserve a broken daughter that did nothing but cause them problems.
End of story.
Forcing a shaky smile onto my tear-streaked face, I dropped the phone between my legs and extended my arms, beckoning both Lucca and Gracie to come closer. “Come here my little monsters.”
Without missing a beat, they both ran to me and dove into my arms, slamming my back against the bed, which was directly behind me. Ziggy, lucky little turd that he was, moved out of the way just in time and ran out of the room, avoiding a collision.
Me though?
Both kids knocked the air right out of me.
Wheezing, I fought to pull in a much-needed breath. “You little frickin’ turkeys,” I said, lungs screaming. “You almost killed me.”
Gracie plopped onto my lap and turned, burying her face against my chest. Body moving on autopilot, I wrapped an arm around her back and buried my face in her golden-blonde hair before kissing the crown of her head. “Love you,” I whispered, feeling my heart begin to twist, then shred. “So damn much.”
“You said a bad word!” Lucca practically hollered, his dark brown eyes—ones which were identical to Pop and Hendrix’s—twinkling before mine. “Mama is gonna kick your butt.”
Gracie huffed out. “You no tell,” she said, her toddler-sized voice high pitched but full of seriousness. Lifting a hand, she wagged a single finger from side to side. “No, no, tell on my Ashy.”
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